/brit/

/brit/

and the latest from moo deng?

got myself a femdom gf but the more i grow to like her the more i just want to have consensual sex in the missionary position for the sole purpose of procreation instead of letting her violate my arse with a strap-on

That's the thing though I'm not an autistic freak, my relative normality is what usually sets me aside from people in this field
I think I may have fallen down on some of the "how to be a consultant" type questions

poodeng

just seen a grimmigrant

*sighs* aaaannnnnnd relax

Sucking a poo

supplanted by Ume the tapir

how does one create a non-random tripcode?

When she sees it

dead country

Woke up today and I'd been sick in my bed in my sleep. Probably need to pack in the drinking

fe fi fo fum
i want to cum in an english bum

*presents hairy pooey arsehole and waits expectantly*

That's dangerous. You could have choked

Nah doubt it

where did your life go wrong?

well if janny didn't ban me for the most pointless reasons i wouldn't need to avoid bans would i

Y'all heard about this earthquake in Thailand and Burma?

.<

Birth

Lifes alri tbf

humming the mr bean tune in my head

Yeah, they just showed that video on the news

yeah but it's too far away to really care that much

Diego reading yhe binble on his gameboy

gods revenge against sex pats

youtube.com/watch?v=o0OnHpuuMMo

she was 12 mate...

fuck off sameyank

I'm so lucky lucky
I'm so lovely lovely

$$$$$$$$ and then I'll leave

calm down lads. Too much pep in your step for the morning

count your blessings

um

When I’m old I hope I look like Paul Hollywood

me own son...a fookin /brit/ posting incel...me own blood

Who are you quoting

jude law to play putin in new movie

why do you keep reposting this?

WTF

Genuinely don't think I could give less of a shite about an earthquake in Myanmar if I tried

I'm a 31 year old virgin and I haven't even been kissed

lmao he literally made eggs

Need to get an up close sniff of Emma Watson’s asshole as she blasts a smelly fart in my face.

Far too buttery

Lame af

Bender

I'll kiss you mate.

Mmm yummy baby food! Despise eggs like that, even his own son said it's nasty

Only benders make their eggs like Elton John's bowel movements

the morning yanks are severely deranged.

they post the same thing every day and have been doing so for years.

bit far away and i'm not bent

Underage b8 kys

I can be very nice
*rubs nipples*

ok mate get a new gimmick. you've been doing this for a near decade.

Cum is dead this late, so just going to chill here for a bit
anyways, i hate when I am listening to a song that sounds really cool but then some awful vocals come in and ruin it...
i was listening to this random song yt recommended me. Sounded good and then 4 minutes in some shitty vocals ruined it, oh well
youtu.be/SIg2vX9blns

Yank my dick off in your arse

Not me "m8" silly fagget

Bet these yanks steal all our banter and reuse in their office. Their coworkers must think they are so based.

you guys like cock?

chill here for a bit

Going to have the whole thread in tears

Think of that one all by yourself did you?

beautiful women
nice weather
best food
polite people
world class safety

sounds like Britain innit

I am not crazy! I know he posted those mice! I knew it was post 208913420. One after the bradley post. As if I could ever make such a mistake. Never. Never! I just - I just couldn't prove it. He - he covered his tracks, he got that idiot at with the canada flag to lie for him. You think this is something? You think this is bad? This? This chicanery? He's done worse. That peter griffin! Are you telling me that a man just happens to post like that? No! He orchestrated it! Toby! He urinated on the nettles! And I saved him! And I shouldn't have. I took him into my own thread! What was I thinking? He'll never change. He'll never change! Ever since he was 9, always the same! Couldn't keep his hands off of co-op energy drinks! But not our Toby! Couldn't be precious Toby! Stealing them blind! And he gets to be a lawyer!? What a sick joke! I should've stopped him when I had the chance! And you - you have to stop him!

gay flag role-playing on Anon Babble

Hey guys could you guys go to Anon Babble and go to /afl/ it’s like /brit/ but for Australians

the country: uganda

Fuck off bumboi

I've lifted entire lines out of this general, and use them elsewhere. I've stolen jokes. I also make a note of all of your British slang and start using it around Americans for clout. Basically I'm skinwalking you. Wearing your lush skin like a rain jacket

Stay goated.

Wish subway were cheaper. I'd eat it multiple times a week

I live in thr Bailey Pageant caravan on 49 Dykebar Avenune. My name is Toby Cameron. I’m 35 years old. I believe in taking care of myself, and a " balanced"diet, and a rigorous exercise routine. In the morning, if thr janitor bans me, I’ll drink a blue lucozade while changing my sim card. I have a "thousand" sim cards now. In the shower, I use a toothpaste lined orange peel cleanser, then a dissovled nettle body scrub. Then I apply a frozen-urine facial masque which I leave on for 10 minutes while I "prepare" the rest of my routine. I always use urine with little or no alcohol, because alcohol dries your face out and makes you look older. Then peter posts, then an anti-janitor meltdown followed by a final mouse post. There is an idea of a Toby Cameron. Some kind "of abstraction". But there is no real me. Only an entity. Something illusory. And though you can hide my mouse posts, and you can give me a (you), and maybe you can even sense "our" lifestyles are probably comparable, I simply am not there.

youtu.be/CiUQx-YFODs

You are bad at detecting which posts are mine. Yet I can easily point out yours from a mile off.

i do the same x
calling women "propa fit" is my favorite one

Could fit her entire tit in my mouth

Stealing that, will use it later on my mom

kys gingerpedo you freak.

who is this one and what's his endgame?

Is that actually mousey's gaff?

Why does she post old women and then post that underaged girl? He's the most bizarre poster I think, outside of that guy from Finland who was in love with birds butts lol

He has a pedophilic obsession with a little redheaded girl that was murdered in the Sandy Hook shooting. He wants to dig her up and sexually abuse her corpse. He’s legitimately on of the most deranged people to ever post here.

I honestly think people like that should be arrested by the state and then shot in the head. Not doing this has led to so many of these creepy weirdos in our country. Sometimes you just have to admit that nature made a mistake and do the right thing. Which is to stomp it out.

Plans for today lads?

dig her up

Not possible. Do you even think before you post?

Older brother is moving to New Zealand

I'm going to miss him lads

it is indeed

Find something else to think about. I'll stop posting her mom ;) so it's easier for you

How do you know?

why's he doing that?

someone who actually cares might tell you

Was made fun of earlier for being interested in WW2 history and was told why wasn't I more interested in ancient Greece history as that was "much more fascinating". Didn't even know how to reply to that.

long walk this morning back for lunch, little rest then another long walk in the afternoon. Make dinner, play some Xbox, have sex, read in bed then go to sleep.

rude

video games

Grow up.

interpreting a poo

dumb little boys of Anon Babble have no idea the struggle women go through

Genuinely find it baffling at people who just go for long walks. I can't walk anywhere without a purpose or destination it just gets boring. At what point do you just stop and say "hmm yes at this point I will just turn around and go home now".

air frying shite

might do a sadwank

mad how poo peng

sorry mate it was uncalled for, I remember it being discussed at lenght though, you might be ablet o find it in the archives, I believe mn kept posting coordinates, there was some other evidence that I don't recall

Woke Snow White star Rachel Zegler watched her own flop of a movie in an empty theater with a few friends after the Disney remake turned out to be a box office bomb.

Zegler, 23, is still waiting on her Prince Charming to steal her away from this nightmare after critics mocked the award-winning actress for the lack of fans filling the theater seats - even on Discount Tuesday!

I'm a 37 year old jobless virgin man child who still lives at home with his widow mother, I know full well of her struggles.

can't walk far before my shins start to burn

I don't know anyone, don't have any friends or a girlfriend.

So sometimes if it's a nice sunny day at the weekend I will get the train into town and just... walk around (for several hours). People say it's good to get out the house so that's what I do.

adults can make independent decisions

maybe you should take your ipad and hop in the buggy if you get tired

bizarre deletion

Do bongs still send prisoners to stralia'? What do you do with convicts and other seedy lower types?

youve never even lived a life. how could you even grasp the life of someone who created another

It's okay mate. Lets turn up at his house

I live nearby a trailhead, the wilderness stretches on for miles and miles
I just take different trails depending on what i feel like and keep going until I feel tired

Do bongs still send prisoners to stralia'?

no

What do you do with convicts and other seedy lower types?

give them bennies and free houses

Weight. Now.

I've decided it's time for a change in my life. A positive change. No more drugs or posting about my degeneracy on public forums.

we absolutely need every single person in this painting to have a unique hat

11.5 stone

There’s a chocolate nugget on the rim Emma CORRR lemme lick it clean.

Might go an incel walk into town for a coffee and a bite to eat. Maybe even a cheeky pint or two

we'll come baring sim cards as gifts so he can ban evade

Walk

Turn around when peak of tiredness reached

Need to walk all the way back now tired.

Utterly perplexing.

thats what the world was like pre-primark

free bennies

Man i wish i lived in britian sounds like a paradise

FONT

depressed

talk to parents, gpberg

"lol just go for a walk anon"

Thanks guy, solved everything.

This is mitigated when walking about the town because you can just get some fast food at the halfway point then you're refuelled for the return journey.

The thing that stood out to me more is that they're almost all niggers
i thought nigger-having was more of an American phenomenon

determining how far you can go based on how tired you are

This is perplexing to you. ....?

Retailer WHSmith has agreed to sell its UK high street chain to Modella Capital. In a deal valued at £76 million, it will see the brand's high street stores eventually rebrand as TGJones.

so you didnt try it

going for walks do help with depression x

My local one is always dead. At most there are a couple of pensioners in it. They used to have a good book selection too but mostly all slop now

Yeah in Brazil

it’s weird to me that in 2025 we still use little bits of string to secure our shoes onto our feet

normally id care about this but not much point given that 2026 is the year the clathrate gun fires society back to the stone age

THERE'S A STAR SCRAAAAAN WAITING IN THE SKY
HE'D LIKE TO COME AND FEED US, BUT HE THINKS HE'D BLOW OUR MINDS

they do a great job of it too

hahahhaha what the fuck

people only use my local one as it doubles as a post office

Just seen my first Aussie post of the morning

British man killed by karaoke bar bouncers in Thailand

weirder that we drive highly advanced machines but still havent implemented a better way than using reflective metal to see behind us

no helping losers like him. they dont want to feel better. they prefer being a helpless victim who wallows in their self-inflicted suffering and pretending nothing can help them. means they dont have to take any responsibility or accountability that way.

*impaler DDTs rorke*

well alice it seems we've both got autism haven't we

yeah they have mental helf and ocd

man dies

im disabled because i have chronic fatigue ok rorke?

alri gangrel

you just know rorke has one of those obese fibromyalgia council estate mums who never cooks or cleans

Bongs have the coolest criminals. Imagine being a street urchin, a chimney sweeper who gets recruited into a pickpocket gang and then goes on to a life of crime, or something like that
We don't have that kind of sovl in the new world

Praying for all the people affected by today's earthquake in Myanmar. #MyanmarStrong

we had a pandemic rorke

my driving license picture is so fucking ugly I hate getting ID’d

back to retail toil tomorrow after 2 months off because gpberg refusing to sign the extension for my depression sick line

*hops onto the /brit/ dance floor and starts doing the Pooey Jew*

A quarter of Brits now say they are DISABLED as number soars by 40 per cent in a decade to almost 17 million amid row over benefit cuts

damn

Forty-three construction workers are missing after an unfinished high-rise building collapses hundreds of miles away in Bangkok

reckon i'd kill myself out of spite if i were you, and specifically name your doctor in the note so he faces a malpractice suit

Shan't EVER get a job.

any gay homosexuals in?

al capone you retard

ya like pooey lewis and the jews?

depression

get back to work you skiving little wanker

AI is going to put millions out of work, which has potential to be a good thing if it means more money allocated to things like UBI, but instead it's just going to be used by squillionaires to enhance suffering of everyone else
shame really isn't it

i hope your suffering is enhanced

playing as a black person on bitlife and doing a career criminal run

you've done it again

Italian, not American.
In any case no one can match the raw primal criminality of a bong.

I work a shitty low paid job with anti-social hours and I don't mind it.

non-brit peaky blinders fan...
you wouldn't happen to be brown now would you? go on you can tell us

Ah yeah that's 2 blokes snogging aha banter

My heritage is german, english, irish, and a couple other euro ethnicities

don't understand lesbians one bit, me. surely at some point in their mid 30s their biological clock starts ticking and they crave semen.

you're so fucking retarded i hate you and i hope your eyes get drilled out one day

john dillinger, pretty boy floyd, machine gun kelly (the real one not the gay rapper) were all american

gangsters are literally the one and only thing america can lay claim to.

when british authors wrote gangster characters they used americans for inspiration

when Tintin goes to america all he does is encounter gangsters

stop being so retarded

mad how they use dildos but detest men

yes he's brown as he thinks america doesn't have a history of white gangster culture (he's never opened a book before)

recall seeing a documentary some years back about black market sperm donors and there was some bald man in his 40s who rolled up outside a house belonging to 2 lesbians, coomed in a cup in his van then rang the doorbell and handed it over to them. They'd arranged the whole thing over facebook.

(he's never opened a book before)

NHS hospital receptionist, 90, retires after 58 years

Just curled out a really satisfying poo

and it wasn't into my mouth? how dear you

massive pension that

get her frozen to death

Our gangsters don't have class
Pretty much our only notable gangsters were all italians, which barely count as americans

Change your taste in women lol lmao

Edward "Monk" Eastman was born in the Corlear's Hook section of the Lower East Side of Manhattan in 1875. He was descended from English ancestors from the colonial period

Don't recall asking Billy badass

By 2150, it is estimated there will be no more than 200,000 White residents in the United Kingdom, mainly in England; almost all born overseas

got early doors on

Doing pullups in my kitchen.

Buy a pullup bar right now. Yes you, reading this.

what's to be done about the foul american ogre creatures that inhabit our great Australian general

John Dillinger was born on June 22, 1903, at 2053 Cooper Street, Indianapolis, Indiana,[8] the younger of two children born to John Wilson Dillinger (1864–1943) and Mary Ellen "Mollie" Lancaster (1870–1907)

made a pig's ear of my life

get them filtered
nobody replies to them anyway

Kelly and his crimes are portrayed in films such as Machine-Gun Kelly (1958), The FBI Story (1959) and Melvin Purvis: G-Man (1974).

Sick to death of politicians dodging important questions.

For example "what lil Timmy gon do?"

The British public NEED answers.

fuck off leech

Then why are you constantly having to post this shit? Get a life sad act

Here is the final red pill

The reason so many people are signing up as disabled is because they're depressed, and the reason they're depressed is because Britain is a capitalist dystopia where the rich and powerful trample on the rights of ordinary people

The way to fix this is a political upheaval, led by ordinary people, to make society more equal and less depressing

Filter this

he's not going to see this you stupid fucking cunt LOL

sick of the cunts desu. I don't mind the poms that come here to OUR thread but these yanks are something else

he won't see that post, that's what filtering means

Stupid prick

need jeremy paxman pacing slowly towards keir starmer repeatedly asking this

but thats communism

me and the two other losers that spend EVERY WAKING HOUR here don't talk to yanks so why should you???

NOONE responds (not just me and the other two losers) LITERALLY NOONE talks to them EVER

Youre retarded

who are you even talking to?

Fuck off idiot

Super mousey goes ballistic /britfeel/ is atrocious

pondering an ai wank

I filter all brit flags but still post in /brit/
Don't give a fuck

get the disabled starved to death

nth for the libdem

Nah I'm not saying we need communism. Capitalism might be okay, as long as there are strong rules, ensuring that wealth and power do not get concentrated too much into the hands of a small group of elites.

who are you even

Eat shit retard

draining the pus from my boils into various pots and pans

what is even the point of red top milk?

spent hours combing through youtube to find the oldest-born person on sound film, and here it is: rebecca felton, born 1835, filmed 1929.
youtube.com/watch?v=WxVrHWwjCRI

A major figure in American first-wave feminism, Felton was also a white supremacist and the last slave owner to serve in the Senate. She spoke vigorously in favor of lynching African Americans, under the pretense of protecting the sexual purity of European-American women. Most often the African Americans whom she admonished were falsely accused of rape.

Like, who are you even? Totally lol

Faggots

Rooftop infinity pool breaking in thai earthquake

the ideal gf

youtube.com/watch?v=w4QONYrjA-Q

its for those people who go 'i need x grams of protein in the next y minutes or i lose z kg of muscle through atrophy but my tummy only has space for n calories'

Lot of water

me doing a big wee off the edge of my luxury penthouse

what are the odds that some action hero was sitting cornered in that pool with all the goons' guns pointed at him praying for a miracle then the quake hit and he surfed his way out of there

Miniscule

Thinking of starting a new hoi4 save

grow up

you tell em gingerpedo

turning on my filters and every yank poster instantaneously ceases to exist since they're no longer being observed

what a weasely liddle liar, dude

A major figure in American first-wave feminism, Felton was also a white supremacist and the last slave owner to serve in the Senate

This would explode the mind of a woketard. those two things aren't supposed to go together in their minds, though in reality o.g feminists were super racist in part cause the abolitionist movement was competing with feminists for public attention

Boo hoo bitch there are thousands of people besides you here dumbfuck

rorke setting his google pixel ringtone to the mark felton youtube intro theme

Bird smell general

my filters result in the filtering of about 20% of all posts per thread.

get the star-spangled spackers filter

HEY EVERYONE LOOK AT ME IM FILTERING AĤHHHHHHHH

not convinced it's breaking so much as it is sloshing out a load of water over the edges

Sad fucks

This would explode the mind of a woketard

you've never been around liberals if you think this.

they're constantly admonishing and humiliating their white woman peers for being racist and transphobic and classist, the white women just sit there and go through with it, lord knows why.

they cannibalize themselves constantly.

Brits: just banter innit
Also brits: wahhh I'm filtering you lalalalal

Syndey Sweeney Todd

Might contact the dealer

That's true they do love self-flagellation each other
they'd probably make a short speech apologizing about the racist history of feminism, or something