kobo edishon
/brit/
My boyfriend is a pilot
He glitters bright as he nosedives
Then revs his engine and does a steep climb
He leaves a long vapor trail
Of two huge, overlapping hearts
A love sign in the vast blue skies
I love you
You love me?
But gosh, he's hotter for
His own plane than he is for me
Ba-dump, ba-dump
My boyfriend is a pilot
early jf new
best girl
sorry too busy spraying chemtrails haha
Gay niggas farting on eachother
paedo nonce SEAmonkey new
had a peng imagination wank after 2 weeks of nofap
oh german? merci beaucoup merci beaucoup
youtube.com
corr I bet you shot lush ropes
I wish I had the willpower to nofap for a week
That's Body Dysmorphia hun x
forget it babe, diamonds are forever x
youtube.com
any friends of dorothy in?
always enjoy your copes, deegz
scotty 2 hotty vs big poppa pump at wrestlemania
so this is the egyptian
getting blacked by the mandem
What's a good car for doing long road trips?
i'm a 22 yo princess in a boy's body
munching on a block of sweet gorgonzola
raping my arse with a leaf blower
taking music suggestions, need to broaden my horizons beyond Oasis and Radiohead
Couple of women in my friend group are beginning to panic now. They're in their 30s and wanted to be "childfree" to focus on their careers.
Their careers have went nowhere, their boyfriends haven't proposed yet, no property, no kids, bought dogs to compensate. One opened up to my wife and said she thinks she has made a mistake and her boyfriend is never going to propose. He also doesn't want kids but now she is thinking she does want them.
It's so over, I laughed when she told me about it.
blur
I feel bad for them, honestly, can't be easy.
Prog metal
Coldplay
Didn't happen and your heart is filled with hatred return to Christ before it's too late
very disappointed that we haven't got any le 56% memes of the new pope yet
Plantbergs crying out for some rain. Waterboardberg demanding i dont run the taps when i brush my teeth
Be the change you wish to see in the world
You live in a godless joke country, be quiet
elbows up lads!!!
Trump buck broke the lot of you so hard
i'm jewish
we're all waiting for you to make them
I am Jewish too.
bought dogs to compensate
yjk
Why do you assume I'd disagree with you?
i thought moses got all you lads out of egypt way back in the day
Watching Conjuring 2
desu
Something tells me you are right.
Axe.
just been brainwashed
think this egyptian is a rogue AI, not particularly advanced though, more cleverbot than chatgpt
Number 1 in Gaza right now
youtu.be
Ready to hear something fucked up?
Im gay
autistic
I have aids
made mozarella sticks
no sauce
wipe my ass with the sticks for flavor instead
This is my reality
that is so fucked up
Vatican smoke was just the cardinals getting chonged hotboxing the Vatican
Idk.
Yeah man I'm strange like that
*ahem* DUDEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
Who do you think I am?
Each wank lands like an spear upon my soul
I think I figured out my gimmick. Introducing
GIMMICK LAD (me)
My gimmick is gimmicks. I come out with a load of crazy whacky gimmicks. I discuss gimmicks, I rate gimmicks, I invent gimmicks.
I am gimmick lad.
drank whiskey all night
showed up late to my exam
smashed it with minimal study (only started studying yesterday night)
left early
back on the whiskey
get told i am handsome
Get matched on hinge and tinder
They get bored because I offer to go to the book store
Go star gazing
Or to go bird watching
Lose interest
Med.
Keep going lad x
Yeah.
We're still the kids we used to be
LGBTQ = PAEDO
how is going to the book store a date though lad?
Actually was close sometimes.
17
toasted sesame seed oil wank
yeh
lgbtq = paedo
this post pretty kino uh
your da still thinks hes a deano yuh
rorke gagging on the first sip of that pinnot grigo
Roast me.
Nice.
'
Loving the fact that the new Pope takes a stronger stance on the LGBTQ problem.
Francis was too nice to those freaks, the vibe shift has happened, it's so over for troons now
We get coffee and look at books last date I went on I showed a girl Tolkien and she liked it
alri david lammy
Yeah.
Had another fucked dream lads. Went to get a job at this weird institute, I guess a massive community centre (unemployed 2 years). I didn't know what job I'd be doing. My manager was this lesbo who grilled me on left wing siciak justice topics. I was honest so she got mad and basically tried to pour gasoline in me at an antifa rally where there was no plod.
Turns out I'd have worked in a library which I though was super kino.
whateverrrr
Thing is autism is a bigger curse than being ugly I legit had girls be attracted to me until they had to talk about animals, history or mechanics
need them all rounded up and pulverised into a fine dust
had a dream that i ruined my 40 day no porn streak
Cool.
peng lunch consumed
I'm autistic and found a tactic that works: stay silent and only answer in grunts
women love it, they think you're stoic and a good listener, works a charm xx
overslept and left it too late to buy drugs. whats more my money situation isnt great right now and my crypto seems to be going up so i want to hold off from using it at the moment.
poo barm up the shitter
yanks don't know what a barm is
Fuming at the lad who mentioned r/gothsluts earlier.
My cock can't take any more of a battering.
*surreptitiously googles barm*
your werid
You are my brothers
wangling the wilbert
what book are you reading at the moment?
90% of the posts there are shit
goths aren't hot unless they have no tattoos and have big tits
Fart wanking out the arse tonight
any heroin heads in?
WAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEEYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
How should I break it to the girlfriend that I'm an interracial porn addict and goon to BNWO sissy hypno for about 6 hours a day?
any reason you're doing heroin over fent?
That's why you've always got to sort by top month/year or all time. There's some prime slags on there that could suffocate me with their thighs and sweaty minges all day long.
Holy shit.
come on eileennnnnnnnnn
just be honest with him
hellos
that's literally what i did
how do you think i could manage such a timely response if i havent sorted through the best already
back from the gym, now to hit the shower x
mental how I'm only 32 and I've already ruined my life
any arthritis lads in?
thought people do fent if they cant find anything else
fent is primarily a yank concern, we get the good shit down under
only 32
scrolling through news feed
picture of luscious green countryside
London Mayor to 'explore' building on greenbelt
Is the article deliberately designed to absolutely enrage you?
do not touch my bottom that way ok cheers
yea me
its too hot
only
You don't comprehend how old you are. You need to start taking everything very seriously.
will i be charged a fee to move money from a help to buy ISA?
I know you're a barmy cunt
haven't had any drugs since a cheeky blunt on a trip to Amsterdam in 2010
haha this lads got arthritis *points and laughs at his gnarled swollen hands*
thought it was hard to get good drugs in aus which is why meth is so popular
You guys do not notice that we
Are gifted just by being humans
We are absolute predators
We do not even have any enemies
Maybe there are other animals watching us
And thinking that someday "we will beat them down"
Oh we have the brains to think hard
Wear our favorite clothes
We are at no doubt human beings
Many small lives
They were born
with the fate
of dying for someone
A human baby
When will they find out
That at the point they were born, we are
(The) winners of Earth
You need to start taking everything very seriously.
why
all those indians that will be coming over have to live somewhere
Prefer not to say
I like looking at my dick.
Yes grandad of course have you been asleep for ten years?
get the countryside dug up
get millions of newbuild homes built on it
get the benefit claiming wogs into them
we're right next to southeast asia, of course we've got good heroin
Because if you're so unfathomably passive that you think you're 'only' 32, you're going to be 'only' 60 without having done anything at all before you know it. Dead serious warning.
me rn
FUCK OFF IT'S NOT FUNNY *winces in pain trying to give you the finger*
the uk is the same size as oregon united states
Trying to think of a current world event that I care less about than the India and Pakistan conflict.
^_-
afghanistan produces most of the world's heroin, nearly as a monopoly
dont get it
What about Congo vs Rwanda
My eyes are northafrican.
There's about to be a major conflict between my anus and my toilet bowl
I am rereading the expanse
i'm not sure of the exact economics of it, in fact afghanistan might not be a big heroin producer anymore now that the taliban are in control, but i do know a lot of the world's heroin goes through southeast asia
You?
wanking my arse with a poo
thats ok i decided google was better to ask and it turns out there is no fee. since the benefits off my help to buy isa capped at 12k i've left it on exactly £12,000 and taken the 430 quid excess i had to help cover my bills (car repairs and water bill) as well as potentially cover my drugs.
is the pope allowed to have sex?
re bldg help
pooing my arse with a wank
Nerd. *flicks your specs onto the floor *
dear, I fear we're facing a problem
no but a sheep for a lamb which is why they do what they do
Again?
looking at photos of the old pope before he died and he kind of looked like that girl from the last of us tv show right?
none of them are, they are volcels (voluntary celibates)
its not the 2000s/2010s anymore gramps. heroin is made in Myanmar (Burma) now and controlled by Chinese businessmen/gangsters.
I added 10k to my S&S ISA account when the market was tumbling. I chickened out investing it and i still havent
sometimes i pretend i am a stone
got the candle on so the incel smell goes
Clue me in.
two one oh four oh four one oh four
two one oh four oh four one two two
Fucking hell my cock is hairy
Limmy is jokes
they are supposed to have feathers not hair I don't believe that's a rooster you've got there
my knob has sideburn like a military chef in the napoleonic army of wellington the duke old nosey
The Ofcom porn crackdown begins
Where is hans?
He still in the cuckshed?
his stream died earlier and he didn't come back
very worried about it
You're being too dramatic, I get the sense you have main character syndrome lil zoomie, you'll understand soon that most people do nothing
I went gay.
wonder when the almost guaranteed suicide of brian limond will
he's sitting in his streaming room playing truck simulator whilst lynn is downstairs with her boyfriend
as a virgin I am qualified to be the Pope
will what
um
transpire
weird how leftypol is so against porn sites being required to prevent children from accessing their content
just did a rather smelly and wet poo
Question
errm...trans???
*starts wanking*
Name of a charity aimed at inspiring young people with gender identity disorder?
only paedophiles and libertarians want children to have easy access to pornography online.
Both conflicts involve poo
practically live off scrambled egg me
i'm not into investing. ive got some crypto from a few years ago but ive only every used to it buy drugs and trading is a waste of time. i had a brief run learning about the stock market and dipped my toe in a few years ago. actually made a small amount in a short time but i saw how manipulated it was and got disillusioned. obviously i have private pensions and they use my money on the market, id rather have the money to spend, but its out of my hands. for the most part i don't want to be involved with stocks and shares and part of me spitefully hopes the market collapses.
no early kickoff tomorrow then three games on sunday absolute madness
no
Can just say jews
paedophiles and libertarians
bit redundant
this was me until they started giving me migraine tummies :(
leftypol hates jews though?
yea it seemed outdated but that's what google told me
but i rephrased the question and it spat out myanmar too
google is shit now
or lazy parents
where do babies come from?
here son, watch this *puts on hardcore gangbang sluts 9*
Even a broken clock is right twice a day
migraine tummies
wha??
I want my house to be haunted lads, I reckon it'd be proper jokes haha
Remember when everyone was an "anarcho-capitalist"? Mental
No
paedophiles and libertarians
whats the difference?
Same with drag queens doing the story time thing with toddlers and babies.
Why are they so determined to do it? Even if you ignore the drag queen part of it, I wouldn't want some random un-vetted bloke reading a story to my kid whether he was in drag or not. Demonic.
for the wrong reasons
I think I figured out my gimmick. Introducing
GIMMICK LAD (me)
My gimmick is gimmicks. I come out with a load of crazy whacky gimmicks. I discuss gimmicks, I rate gimmicks, I invent gimmicks.
I am gimmick lad.
That was the last point of unity before the leftyrorke schism
Leftypol veered off into being a commie and rorke became a chud
shitting and screaming through all the letterboxes on my street at 3am
imagine letting your kids have access to the internet
you're just asking for them to grow up and become a weirdo incel freak
Rorke trembling with rage that 2 white men cut down sycamore gap tree not a gang of roving pakis (in northumbria)
my gimmick is reverse trolling
too cute
thinking of playing a computer game this evening in lieu of having any mates or a gf to hang out with
yeah?
*blasts a torrent of liquid shite all over you*
Some pedos are commies or Nazis
"ummm I'm not taking my future husband's name, I'm taking a stand against that patriarchal tradition"
keeps her father's name
Women are such dumb cunts
there's no difference between commies and nazis
Apparently there is a Great Reversal taking place amongst the youth today. Generation Alpha have very strict limits on internet usage, phones are banned in basically all schools now, and everything is confined to safe space apps and social media for normies and not autistic freak virgin mong anime pedo sites like Anon Babble
think you're just a fanny if a bit of egg is giving you tum tum ache
leftypol pretending rorke didn't already know it was northern underclass retards
arrest anyone wearing a hoody over the age of 30
Well they are different from libertarians
so rorkes then
google just aint what it used to be. thats they way things go online. ask jeeves got knifed by yahoo. yahoo was set on fire by google. one day, in the not to distant future google is going to fail.
Girlfriendberg says she wants to triple-barrel surnames from her mum, dad and me
Evens I play Oblivion Remastered tonight.
Odds I play Space Marine 2.
don't talk about my fanny ok
anyway I can eat fried eggs and boiled eggs with no problem I just go through periods where scrambled egg or omelets give me bad tummy headaches ok just how it is
Reckon there is
give her a slap
my wife kept her name because it'd be complicated to change things
our children will have both
only get 30fps on oblivo remast
fucking woke bastards
it's mad how the government have to censor the entire web because 90% of parents are too fucking retarded to know how to filter websites using their router
Slop for the slop god
Unless you're proper upper-class, double-barrelled names are pure chav
somebody had an angry mean mummy eh?
what are you computers' specs?
I went from 30 to 60+ fps when I use FSR with frame generation with a 4790k and 2080ti
yeah you could say that she was a bit of a bad mum
laptop 4050 lol
I will give all of my children two middle names and two surnames (but the first one as a third middle name) :)
how much did you pay for that turd?
Aye the performance is fucking horrendous, I use the nvidia framegen option to make it a "fake" 60fps but it has its own set of problems, if you move the camera around too fast I think it struggles and looks like screen tearing so I've learned to play it slow.
It's worth it for not playing at 30fps, not so bad in 3rd person games but first person games at 30 give me a headache after like 10 mins.
jayden brayden skylar brett hernandez?
boyfriendstein talks about poo on Anon Babble
i dont know why people pretend fps means anything when people used to play games on a gameboy at like 4 fps
like £1.3k
could have gotten a freak pc for the same price but needed a laptop at the time
no none of that
brett for a girl is ok tho
one of my all time best idols was named brett
Bazinga!
Vaxine Billiams
i dont know why people pretend fps means anything when people used to play games on a gameboy at like 4 fps
reactor leak in sector rorke hahaha
Takin a liquid shit
told you so
gaming laptops are the most retarded product on the computing market
none of them have anywhere near adequate enough cooling or can supply adequate power to the GPU
soon theres going to be a name for the singular mong in here pretending to be eternally 18 years old
*uses your cock like a pump to dispense a pint of brown nectar*
might go outside today with the intent of screaming in people's faces
lost the plot me
burdened by the legacy of my rorke ancestors
vgh vest is falen
Containment has failed.
Its never been so over for leftypol
Demons snatching my duvet covers so I get a bit nippy in bed? Ya, go fuck yourself.
His name's Kyrees
sheesh
I've had bad luck with laptops for years but my fuckhuge PC has lasted almost fifteen years without fail
Gonna get a new one for TES6
Sent him flying back to Africa with that one
brett for a girl is ok
Americans are out of control
Imagine fucking a girl named Brett
May as well name her Steve
don't let them win
Worst thing a demon could do is sensually wank me off haha
*mgs game over screen*
sunberg...are you there sunberg
SUNBERG?
SUNBERGGGGGGGGG
stevie is a popular yank girl name
Mmm yeah you like it like that, Bryce?
my first kiss was a girl named stevie we were both about 8
she's a lad now no joke aha
I have a gaming laptop with a 4070 in it and I can play every game at 1200p (the screens res) and 60fps on ultra.
Only game it struggles with is Stalker 2 but that game is a piece of shit for performance anyway.
she was canadian in fact
Based Nige
grim
grim
Mmmhmmm take that dick, Stevie
Unbelievable lmfao
I never say the woman's name during sex
Bit weird innit
gaming laptop
omd
geez cody could ya lay off a bit youre hurting my life partner jzxyel's feelings she's gonna totally cry dude
ok but with a PC with a 4070 you could play pretty much every game in 1440p at 120hz+
feels like you're invoking her or summat
If a demon gave me a rim job I think it'd totally possess me there and then xD
Your right but if she had a man's name it'd be really distracting I wouldn't be able to stop thinking about it and now I realize how homosexual that sounds lol
you actually think people talk to each other like that don't you? vile pornbrain freak
I'm not one of them types but if I was I just know I'd be a bottom
Pot calling the kettle ... Chrome
It has occurred to me now that I don't think I've ever actually called out the woman's name during sex but if she had a man's name it would be too distracting to not think about it
i just made this up but only 14% of them are tops
ahhh yes the 'post the old' gimmick
very funny, rorke
now get it made
True but then I'd have to be hunched over at a desk like a goblin whereas I can lay on the sofa and play Cyberpunk with sex mods with my laptop
you cannot use a gaming laptop on your knee whilst gaming it would give you third degree burns