/brit/

poo and wee edition

Just been eating shit all day instead of working
Carrots, oranges, strawberries, yogurt, crackers, tuna
Still peckish

was at gran's for tea, she said she was feeling a bit unwell (she had a stroke around 2 months back, you will recall)

she'd had blood taken at the doctor's earlier today though so perhaps that had taken it out of her. I just told her to have a lie down and that I'd phone her later this evening to check she's alright. Not sure what else I can do really. Obviously if I speak to her later and she's worse then I'll drive back over.

neoliberal bull logging in

only since you asked so nicely x

You're a good lad

hope she recovers
loved going to nanbergs when she was still around x

Don't Just Book It, Thomas Cook it

file.png - 1200x800, 986.56K

a little politeness goes a long way lad

babycakes
you just don't know know

Not posting in this thread as it will be deleted

*grabs the most feminine umposter*
you'll be my girlfriend tonight

nan's not very well either it's sad innit

omds

Read about consent lad

umposter sex arse

just angle slammed your gran

ᵘᵐ

ye da
ye ma
ye da

Ange Postecoglou sex arse

"john" is really an unfortunate name
not only is it super common and uninspired, it also means toilet and man who hires prossards and condom and all sorts of other things probably

I have come to the conclusion that season 5 of The Simpsons is the best season.

mel c sex arse

ok john

i am an incel.
i have sex.
we exist and we will not be silenced.

Fuck John gonn do

its a toss up between 4 and 5

a million beers

Imagine there's no blackies
It's easy if you try

arse sex arse

um

Historically inaccurate post. The Xbox came out in 2001.

i do believe i'll give room service a jangle and have them send up some etoufee...

tfe.jpg - 1064x760, 48.87K

my name's richard but you can call me dick if you like

that should say "drum bongos" fucks sake, barely makes sense now

Remember when the 2012 Olympics were on and everyone spent two weeks watching all the different countries and cheering for their country and then at the end the BBC played Imagine like what were they thinking omds

not if your dad worked at microsoft mate

Mental how yanks have white eggs

images(41).jpg - 616x411, 34.72K

um um UMMY

Ok.

reading about medieval medicine

caught these 2 lads having a cheeky bit of bum fun when I was out and about today

gay wasps.jpg - 3024x2016, 595.54K

So do we ya gonk

Based and aryanpilled

your knob's a microsoft

ok rick

nigga, we do!

I genuinely fucking hate hikermongs and their sad little "hobby"

All other mountaineerchads agree with me

Stfu.

hot

we know mate, you've been posting about it for hours

post THAT webm, you know the one

sitr fry for tea x

we have them here too now. For a long time the white eggs went to the food industry as UK customers shunned them but now we get whatever and are told to accept it, white eggs included.

if you buy a lot of eggs there's a good chance many of them will be white. These 15 packs I buy are often all white eggs. I eat 3,650 eggs a year.

IMG_5219.jpg - 1200x980, 282.87K

can't fry stir

What?

hope elton john sneaks in when you're fetching the soy sauce from a cupboard and leaves you a surprise in it x

wanking my life down the shitter

Reckonah

Years ago some lad on Twitter made an account called Modern Seinfeld I think and it was like "what if George used Tinder"
And then some other madlad made an account called Seinfeld2000 and absolutely mogged him by doing the same thing but in a surrealist way
Still feel a bit bad for the first lad

A loaf of eggs

cumming from a land down under aha

Rorke throwing that one egg out because it's brown. He just doesn't like 'em.

I got pro cam on my forehead.

oh behave

3o9t01.jpg - 340x294, 27.81K

yeah?

Tucking into some Mr. Brain's faggots

you guys read any DH Lawrence? he’s been my favorite british author ever since i bravely told the class what the rocking horse winner was about in high school.

Rorke shouting about how his life is a 'straight up movie' when his mum says its a takeaway for dinner

Yeah

Yanks think we eat this but I'd never heard of it and wouldn't know where to buy it.

file.jpg - 900x540, 61.43K

And you've been coping for hours you uninteresting little man

Let's tone down the rhetoric.

Hikers? More like wankers, I say!

thought you could pass this bruce' post off as your own 13 hours later and no one would notice did you?

Diego is a poor rhetorician

Mad how if we all met up some of you would be really great mates but we never will because we're too autistic

I'm a sound guy

grim beyond belief
why do we have fucking yankeedoodle eggs ffs

sorry timmy sr, katy 'cooked her vacation to kingston jamaica, she long gone x

file.png - 2048x1365, 2.14M

i'd shag the lot of you

I will use that.

you seen the adaption of it? it's reet good

KSM - 5 (1).jpg - 750x590, 86.48K

may I watch while not participating?

white boyz

You just got yanked bitch

30 rorkes and leftypols run a train on employed woman, instantly adopt mainstream politics

was cuddling with a mate and my knob got hard
do you think he noticed?

When you get caught speeding and they fine you a % of your weekly income what happens if you don’t have any income?

Down with brown people
Up with brown eggs

1:1.

omds

haven’t. i’ll catch it later.

Yeah, quote all those other memorable roles he had instead

Why is he being so aggressive

Fuck this flag.

Feel like his gimmick is running out of steam desu

Madon he looks terrible!

IMG_0438.jpg - 1170x1424, 1.24M

Fucking belt and kink.

Respectfully, people who aren't eating 10 eggs a day are visibly doing less well than me. There are worse things to be eating than 10 eggs a day. People who get heart disease aren't eating 10 eggs a day; they're maybe eating 2 fried eggs on a weekend as part of a fry-up, in between dozens of other insanely unhealthy processed meals.

I think they tested the waters to see if punters would buy them and when they did buy them they realised they could get away with it. Anecdotally I can tell you the only difference is that the white eggs have a thinner shell.

brought back a childhood memory there
was lying on a bed with a mate side by side and he wanted me to listen to a song on his ipod so we stuck one earphone in each listening to it
got a massive boner for no reason

Deano be like:

Haha yeah is a bit mad all those Africans wandering about now innit, cracking England team in 20 years time though haha

Kslv.

do you have autism?

Just shagged the bf and spunked up his arse.
He's showering now and I'm laying in bed with his cum on my chest

Mediocre Hans

Looks like a gay pedo
Should get rid of that shite facial hair too
Never understand why some blokes leave that pubey hair on their face instead of shaving it

*rapes heroinlad*

I think they tested the waters to see if punters would buy them and when they did buy them they realised they could get away with it. Anecdotally I can tell you the only difference is that the white eggs have a thinner shell.

yeah you're on the money, I get white eggs sometimes (not out of choice) just don't understand why they do it when it's not necessary in this country

what sort of meals do rotate that need 10 eggberts a day?

the cronembourg 1664

Egg council creeps get to you?

probably sick to bastard death of people quoting his lines at him for the past 20 years
youtube.com/watch?v=ImMOtQPfCYQ

Getting quoted at all of the time would be annoying as fuck

Rorke starting a nuclear war
At the gay bar, gay bar, gay bar

Poo Wank. Indeed

sisterberg sending a flurry of a couple dozen texts gawking and hollering at taylor swift getting the rights to her music or something

cronem got di james martin meal sorted x

file.png - 1300x912, 835.35K

Why do you call it that and not the bible

Not unlike you after a BRUTAL 10 mile stroll
Best get drinking to aid your recovery!

Getting quoted at all of the time would be annoying as fuck

used to be handsome back when i was a grotty little dole scrounging unemployable neet

Haven't wanked or looked at porn today to spite the Jews

have no clue whats going on anymore i just live my silly little mess of a life

omg anon did you see the taytay can do WHATEVERRR she wants with her music now! it's so amazing and now she-

You bolt awake in the mountains of Carthage. You are not online. It is 217 BC. You are the general Hannibal, and you have changed your mind. The future cannot come to pass. Rome must burn.

ELVEN SEX ARSE BREEDING FACILITY HIDDEN AT PORTON DOWN

GOT A KEYCARD WHICH WILL GET YOU IN BUT IT WONT BE CHEAP

SERIOUS ENQUIRIES ONLY, I KNOW WHAT I HAVE

IMG_5053.jpg - 1205x1267, 1.08M

Sir Gaylord Swift

Life would only be fun if I was constantly drunk or on benzos

that's not an elf. it's a human man

While democracy is fatal to progress when two races of unequal value live side by side, an aristocracy may be equally injurious whenever, in order to purchase a few generations of ease and luxury, slaves or immigrants are imported to do the heavy work. It was a form of aristocracy that brought slaves to the American colonies and the West Indies and if there had been an aristocratic form of governmental control in California, Chinese coolies and Japanese laborers would now form the controlling element, so far as numbers are concerned, on the Pacific coast.

It was the upper classes who encouraged the introduction of immigrant labor to work American factories and mines and it is the native American gentleman who builds a palace on the countryside and who introduces as servants all manner of foreigners into purely American districts. The farming and artisan classes of America did not take alarm until it was too late and they are now seriously threatened with extermination in many parts of the country. In Rome, also, it was the plebeian, who first went under in the competition with slaves but the patrician followed in his turn a few generations later.

The West Indian sugar planters flourished in the eighteenth century and produced some strong men; today from the same causes they have vanished from the scene.

During the last century the New England manufacturer imported the Irish and French Canadians and the resultant fall in the New England birthrate at once became ominous. The refusal of the native American to work with his hands when he can hire or import serfs to do manual labor for him is the prelude to his extinction and the immigrant laborers are now breeding out their masters and killing by filth and by crowding as effectively as by the sword.

you've done him there
you've absolutely done him you callous wanker

ever shag her up the arse

Probably yeah, undiagnosed. High-functioning though, I'm not some spacker.

To be fair it's probably cheaper for the producers to not have to separate white and brown eggs for specific markets. Just funnel them straight from the chickens' arse into a box.

I have 5 scrambled in the morning on toast and then as an evening meal (post-dinner) another 5 on toast but with jalapenos.

No, no, no, you got it all wrong!

IMG_4697.jpg - 1440x1920, 989.04K

Leftypol accidentally watching an episode of Little Britain and fainting in shock

ever sniff her knickers and wank? reckon she's ever been deep dicked by a python bbc?

films
what are they about really?

absolute state of it

IMG_0439.jpg - 1170x2054, 529.17K

leftypol putting the back of his hand on his forehead and swooning on the way down to draw maximum attention to himself so he shows how virtuous he is

the grateful dead

Russel Brand has just been sentenced to death

I eat 3,650 eggs a year

Absurd and shouldn't be allowed.
The rise of gym culture leading to every cunt thinking he needs to eat eggs like a bodybuilder is ridiculous.

Thinking about sex poos.

IMG_2125.jpg - 1284x1973, 333.84K

did he thomas cook it?

the dark history behind the rise of poo culture

Hey idiots

the boy ain't right

file.png - 1280x720, 1.11M

Fascinating to see the belgian's obsessions morph in real time

Do you deny that you spent all day, every day, posting about these 'cronem'?

W...w...well your honour, sometimes I...I...I, would get obsessed with a random consumer brand for no reason instead

fancy boy "films"

Largely meaningless rubbish

Movies like Rocky, Rocky 2, Rocky 3, Rocky 4, Rocky 5, Rocky Balboa

Pure kino about man's struggle in a callous unforgiving world

o.jpg - 1280x720, 69.05K

Remember when he was a generic leftypol for 20 years and then as soon as he showed a few Rorkey tendencies dozens of women spontaneously came forward to accuse him of doing some naughty shagging

ATTENTION

You will now tell me the intelligentest thing that you ever did

how do you make friends if you don't already have friends?

A chicken died laying that egg (or however it works), so it's only right that I eat them and they contribute to my growth. It's what they want.

IMG_5285.jpg - 1443x1920, 730.08K

noel phillips sex arse

alri lads

Corr, how big's your cock, lad?

I want to lick you all over

i started the 'my life is a movie' gimmick

We have an unfunny FREAK posting his wrinkly old body

i got an a* in english language

eggmong getting the resident benders all hot under the collar

ummy

ha thats nothing brainlet i got a 2:2 from liverpool

My friend in college was kind of a left wing hippy type of guy but he's slowly transformed into a giga-rorke.

Nazis and fascists will always win the argument

Got all As and A*s at GCSE and A Level. Cocked up Uni though and splatted with a 2:1, but I had a good run for a while.

very nice, I only got a 'c'
massively underachieved in just about everything, got an 'a' in geography and a* in biology which were the 2 subjects I loved, then picked subjects I loathed because I thought they'd look better on a CV later in life, massively underachieved and here I am over 15 years later hating myself lol

going to four chan dot org slash bee slash in 2013 after watching a spooky greentext video (i was 12)

The ASMR lad Chycho did this, fascinating to watch desu

Does Thomas Cook even still exist

look at this image i made for when people are being lazy and not making a new thread promptly

NEW.jpg - 1024x570, 197.5K

seems genuinely cucked to be english and turning up to watch, say, amy macdonald or biffy clyro knowing that they're anglophobes who wish you and your country ill

yeah he's cool

poo myself

*shit mesen

Im a racist and an antisemite and im proud of that

Yet they sing and dance for my pleasure - and they sing in my language no less!

You don't need 3000 eggs
Stop hoarding

reading the libelle of englyshe polycye

Biffy Clyro

Yeah it's not 2005 mate

People who aren't blonde and blue eyed are lesser humans.

Higher human types must dominate.

Sulla.png - 600x773, 614.82K

ever seen a vagina rorke?

sunberg has me on the ropes. need a siesta every day now

not a fan of being gay. one of those types who really doesn't enjoy modern batty culture, you see.

Never listened to a Biffy Clyro song

Did heatherpaedo came first or the belgian
Utterly bizarre how coordinated they are despite being apparently two different individuals

I'm gay in the Ancient Greek sense

Nah mate you've never posted a selfie

had an afro-latino step dad that made me find things for him because he thought people with blue eyes saw better

the so called trad homo

They're sort of like a crap Coldplay

responded to that girl on reddit 90 minutes ago and she still hasn't come back with another chat

Would love to be gay but just not really into it

who would you bum the most

need alcohol someone get me alcohol

LOL

Literally what Romans looked like

Got two textfus on the go
Just know I'm going to fuck up and send the wrong message to the wrong one at some point

Radiohead are sort of like Coldplay for the sons of Coldplay fans

more of a getting bummed type of fella. but I quite like lanklets, tall and skinny types.

i think heatherpaedo's been here longer, but ziedy was the one who started the AI image spamming

enjoying this new direction for zeidy, it reminds me when cartoon channels would do summer events

Got the CoD4 on

london?

just had a whisky and a timmy taylors
waiting for me burgers to get cooked

only listen to Ye fka kanye west, me

Oasis? Sort of a chavvy manc Coldplay

Birmingham, I'm afraid

oh fuck OFF youre no better than WOMEN stop discriminating you height queen

The Beatles were the Coldplay of their era

have massive brainfog
gonna try vitamin d supplementation

love women. shagging one tomorrow

Might have gay bumsex with my gay boyfriend

a woman in my very own piss-soaked alcoholic incel bed

Pianne Faggot

smceiang

a woman in my dandruffy, cum stained single bed

which yank are you

Once shagged a prozzard with a massive wolf tattoo on her back
Bit like shagging a wolf

still thinking about your board game fitty?

reckon there's a lot of home of sexuals in /brit/
don't know why. makes me feel disgusted with spending so much time here

monster mango loco, twix xtra and the winning euro ticket please bossman

Only to those who can't see beyond the government lies and smokescreen

That's an elf mate

don't think wolves get tattoos

the 'nesses

whats wrong with home of sexuality

all star cast

have a bum every now and then, but nothing too gay

soooo fucking fit

/brit/: The Home of Sexuality

ruby grangler

are rubes, are little angel

we all did when we were younger but it's time to grow up mate and leave boyish fun like that behind us

woman's football player named Beever-Jones, as in jonesing for beaver

come on now

Biffy Clyro, sort of like a crap scottish Foo Fighters

Yeah shan't be watching sorry

on the captain morgan

never heard of her

I'll be watching Clarkson's farm tonight

foo fights crap enough to begin with

haha it's funny because women's footballers are lesbians lol

Never did any gay stuff me
Missed out really

I know there's been a huge psyop since the 60s to pretend they're some kind of fringe group like blacks but they're not really, they're a fringe group in the same sense that schizophrenia only affects some percent of the population
Gays are demon-possessed crazy people. Stay away from them.

*grangles you*

but demons arent real

Black people in Britain are natural and okay

Gays are unnatural

no one is falling for your shit satan

I hate them so much, got some looks from fat old women yesterday with my peng Asian gf in her cute sun dress, she's so pretty.

*swallows you with my arse*

Crocs should be illegal

let them roam free

fast croc.webm - 854x480, 1.49M

mad how they used to be mocked (rightly so) now everyone wears them

cleared my cookies so no new from me