/brit/

Not healthy for Vagina..

i am the lord jesus christ
to prove this i will perform one miracle
do you have any requests?

Ovni. Hurts right?

make it possible for me to buy things cheaper

just kill me bro

This is not nice for you and me, amen.

can you give me a shred of confidence in myself please

lads post music

Why you?

well, i suppose that's what i asked for. thanks, jesus

You are an illegal immigrant.

I don't think I'll bother leaving the house today

nothing for me out there

you didn't write edition. this isn't a /brit/ thread
janny won't like that

The Jewels.

yall niggas postin in /breet/

haven't left the house in a week so i'm gonna make a special effort today

i need an aubergine

Nooo

actual edition that janny won't delete

Sexo sexo

rorke, you've been scuppered.

Bowel grab.

I want it.

anyone worried about anything

might cop, as the kids say

file.png - 1136x863, 1000.18K

how old are you, ten?

Saw a white in the street earlier, told him to fuck off home

old enough to fuck your mother

You're calling his mother a pedophile?

looking at female inmate profiles on writeaprisoner
might find myself a qt murderer gf to flirt with and then ghost her when i get bored and there'll be nothing she can do about it because she's locked up for life

checked out ai-porn out of morbid curiosity yesterday, very bizarre stuff

Today's wordle is very topical

sounds like the synopsis to a decent comedy when she escapes or gets out on good behavior or something

did ai porn of my mum and she found it once

Why are you getting bashed, sir?

you wrongun

bet it made herr dead wet

Well, he did.

Bring back serum.

still don't know what CC means in relation to bikes
please don't tell me I enjoy living in ignorance

Carbon copy.
Why sending it to two people requires additional carbon is beyond me though.

Bloody hot out for night time. Not looking forward to summer AT ALL

I am in the Rhineland.

For many decades Historians have agreed that some unknown islamic indian empire conquered the british isles in the beggining of the 21st century, as well as canada, australia, and parts of the united states. This empire has been called the "bharati empire" and contemporary maps of it curiously include a strip of land going from egypt to south africa, that is believed to have been a territorial claim based upon the proclamation of a caliphate, and not actually controlled territory.

However the documentation of any events happenig so close to ww3 remains indecisive. There are no monuments of this empire in the british isles themselves, and indian architecture only emerges in the british isles centuries later, with mosques and places of worship being mostly adapted christian churches. Yet the genetic evidence and primarily male-line descendace of modern britishers proves there was undoubtedly a violent conquest.

Some modern theorists propose that instead of a unified "Bharati empire", multiple marauding bands or perhaps petty kingdoms attacked the british isles sometime between 1950 and 2054, settling in the region and taking captive the local women.

There's also an extremely fringe theory that posits the ludicrous idea that the massive influx of muslim-hindavi peoples onto the british isles was "peacefull process", but most historians brush it aside as a british nationalist way of hiding a clear history of violent conquest, and that they're not as native to europe as algerians or moroccans

-Professor abdul Muhammad Hafez, "on the origins of britishers, 2985

cubic centimetres referring to engine displacement, 1000cc is one litre
fuck you

just picked up catberg and gave her a kiss

damn I was getting worried there

your clue did help, when I typed it I thought it must surely be that

my cat's purring under my bed somewhere

get the 'bergs posted

Imagine the princess saved by the hero me.

awhh catberg chewing your trainers xx

Don't worry about a thing Frankie Five Angels

gf has one of these but its a guy from silent hill and the boobs are his pecs

Jet black.

Sick of living in a world full of racism and sexism

Sir Sexist Racist

Shit.

showed /brit/ some trainers I bought but youse roasted them and now I haven't worn them in 6 months

what's worth doing anymore

Yes?

Painting.

sir trainer roaster

pic

Disease.

time to watch the greatest anime ever

file.png - 1000x1419, 2.49M

bit of skyrim and a coffee now until the asda opens
then buy some lovely fresh veg back home for another coffee and some more skyrim
then make my food and watch the footy followed by film or two and then have a drink and some more skyrim

what is this phenotype?

race/build?

Oy mate

nice

I myself will also be drinking several coffees today and taking it easy

hey fuck you man bloody bastard

white/athletic

Thats not Yugioh

In my opinion people on this website are strange and impolite.

need to have a shower before housemates wake up because my cock actually pongs

i cry

bhenchod

Poo.

Poo.

had one of the best burgers in a long time today
shame the restaurant is 40 minutes away

Is something right?

Emma Watson being shown some of my posts.

IMG_2817.jpg - 1284x2446, 418.08K

if ireland has high gdp/capita than uk, why do irish immigrate to uk? never heard british diasporas in ireland

eire brit.png - 1008x529, 124.83K

never heard british diasporas in ireland

why would you have heard of anything from your little jungle

british people don't immigrate m8, we colonise

umm

ive heard about 99% of brit posters liked to be part of american state? is that true?

brits.png - 466x781, 79.12K

Trying to find a device that I can plug into my gran's telly that will play pirated media files from a USB. This way my gran can enjoy quality tv shows and films that I pirate for her, despite having no internet.

There's some on Amazon but they're all chinesium crap, reviews indicating video playback stutters and buffers due to the cheap hardware. Waste of money.

Looking at more expensive options, the Apple TV doesn't allow playback from USB so its out. Had a look at the NVidia Shield Pro which seems like it may do the job. Costs £190 though. Ideally there would be a happy medium between the £190 for a proper machine and £40 chinese crap on Amazon.

the ‘ttyberg

IMG_5551.jpg - 1242x2208, 531.67K

you're a good grandson <3

doesn't the TV just have a usb port at the back? mine does

just done a smelly shit wank

you lot ever think you should do something about that whole being a virgin in your 20's thing? us normal fellas lost it when we were 17 and frankly it's a bit strange you lot didn't do the same

only virgins talk like this

I can see your stubble face
you and the cat look similar

Girl poo
Dame dookie
She shits
Female faeces
Lady dumps

IMG_2781.jpg - 1284x1353, 256.05K

It's not a smart TV but suspect it probably does have a USB port at the very least but the problem is that even if TV reads the USB, I have no confidence in the internal media player to handle whatever is thrown at it.

Basically I don't want to have to be stuck batch converting files to a specific format just so the telly can read them. The appeal of a separate media player (that works) is that it would ideally handle the whole gamut of files: mp4, avi, mkv (with subs) etc without shitting the bed. You just plug in the USB and there are no issues.

Especially since granberg is like 85 or however old she is, she will never be able to troubleshoot any of that shit. She won't have heard the word "codec" in her life and shouldn't need to.

I tried to make the cocktail umbrellas into cocktail umbrella straws but the computer doesn't like it

this is what I got my mum, works great, not sure if you can get it in the UK

didn't even check the fucking pic did I

If you want to play movies on your tv for free with no ads I'd recommend getting one of these
it plays these disk things called dvd's and as long as you have one of the disks you can watch it anytime you want

daaaymn unc :skull:

Yeah that's the one that was recommended to me on Anon Babble (perhaps by you) but I was saddened to learn it's not available here.

Thanks anyway.

Onn is Walmart’s electronics brand, I assume it’s also sold in Asda stores in the UK. Either way it’s chinesium.

perhaps by you

nah, it's pretty popular and dirt cheap here, probably just to get people into paying for streaming services, but it runs apps so you can set up torrents for stremio and watch whatever for $3/month (I'm a virgin you see)
works great though, linus reviewed it:
youtube.com/watch?v=sdLnieL90d0&ab_channel=LinusTechTips

In the sewer all alone (that’s my home)

mad how a simple shower is all it takes to restore your humanity

Heels > Soles
FACT

heel3.jpg - 544x644, 121.74K

Proudly brought to you by HUBLOT

CÎROC™ ULTRA-PREMIUM VODKA :
“THE ART OF CELEBRATION”

Explore your perks with Shell GO+

At Vodafone, our aim is to create a digital society that includes everyone and helps protect the planet. We believe superfast connectivity and technology is the key to unlocking the UK’s potential. We’re connecting people, businesses, and communities, so everyone can tap into the benefits of a digital society.
#TheNationsNetwork

So we will press on with developing clear, compelling and consistent UK offers, tailored to their needs and our strengths, spanning trade, development, defence, cyber security, technology, climate change and environmental protection. Because we know that in the coming decades there will be economic shocks, and climate change will have its baleful effects, and countries will want technology, finance and access to markets to support their development.

c-c-c-combo breaker

Get the small boats ON our shores
Get the migrants IN our women

Migrants' bellies full.
Migrants' bollocks empty.

plumb starter

mate...

hello bongs, i come to claim the GET

the more you read about himmler the more weird shite you find

Luv my pensioners frozen
Luv my migrants pampered
Luv my timmies euthanized
Luv my katies stretched

Fugg.

fringe reaches my chin now
need to get this mop sorted for summer

Get the migrants fed
Get the migrants washed
Get the migrants medically checked
Get the migrants housed
Get the migrants shagged
Get the migrants paid

some of us are just trying to have fun mate we're not all using optimised starting words

imagine needing min-maxing and strats to beat the daily worldle get a grip you poof

if george floyd just listened to the science and followed lockdown he wouldn't have died

mental you never see leftypol bring that up

could he not have taken the fentanyl at home nah

Emma Watson will have sex with me.

IMG_1096.jpg - 1284x1837, 366.1K

Black people do drugs and crime because of racism rorke

?

impressive

Arsh. Poison.

*snaps fingers at the overworked thread waiter*
can we get me pissed on NOW, please.

?

remember that time 2 first-world nations lost their entire electrical grid and no explanation was ever given as to why or how and it was never mentioned in the news again haha

but yeah how about them Kardashians

not everything’s a conspiracy frogposting retard

I do it for she

babita.jpg - 808x1200, 211.85K

spoiler that hog

just awful when you get smegma in your japs eye and dont realise until you try to piss and it goes EVERYWHERE

But if he stood and watched the frigid wind
Tousling the clouds, lay on the fusty bed
Telling himself that this was home, and grinned,
And shivered, without shaking off the dread

That how we live measures our own nature,
And at his age having no more to show
Than one hired box should make him pretty sure
He warranted no better, I don't know.

perhaps not but I get the impression there are definitely times when the security apparatus makes a phone call to news outlets and says "leave this story be, for national security reasons" and there's a gentlemen's agreement to do so

black coffee, leftover pizza, two slices of ginger loaf

state of this cunt's bonce

file.png - 1304x892, 419.24K

Omg wish I had a joint or a line

happens to me but with tight foreskin

leyton orient sex arse

his enemies are my friends though so i'll keep doing it

Sucking a coffee lads

are they enjoying it?

(◕‿◕)

gtlpl524253.jpg - 1024x1024, 125.79K

*cockfee

toast and cranberry juice down the gullet. now on to the coffee to perk me up and then on with the day

it's getting scary out there
stay safe lads

State.

9453838.jpg - 2361x1365, 632.07K

life in shambles

I hate charity muggers. Hate their smarmy, slimy, put-on persona that serves only to convince people to part with their money so that the chugger gets their commission.

Might start stopping and engaging with them but only with the intention of saying "yeah sure I'll sign up right now but only if you give me your entire commission for this sign-up, in cash, right now from your wallet". If they do that, I'll sign-up (then cancel later).

it's not beyond the realm of possibility that mousey was tragically murdered by some psycho from the /brit/ thread while the site was down

they're volunteers

Coffee doesn't have emotions so it can't enjoy anything

No, a coffee

kek it was me.

youll see me getting arrested for it later this afternoon. keep an eye on the bbc news

no, he's in his happy place playing runescape all day

yes it was clever, taking advantage of the site being down to do it, perhaps you thought it would never come back up. but it did, and now you'll pay

Any of you going to Church today?

05.jpg - 556x620, 89.26K

No they're not. They work on commission and they work for whatever charity.

They take anyone because there's such a high turn-over due to the grim nature of the job. Often you'll see spackers, lads who clearly have autism and no social skills, who have taken on the job but are making no sales. These lads don't get kept on. I feel bad for those ones. You can really see the pain on their face as they pretend to be happy and cheerful but inside they know this job isn't for them and that they'll have to pack it in because they're making no sales.

they got mousey monged out on something
free mousey!

already been, twice

I want to suck Emma Watson’s nipples.

IMG_2661.jpg - 1284x1253, 348.3K

?

No got better things to do than sit and listen to someone telling fictional stories

Eight yet to be identified after 'gang fight' involving machete at Melbourne shopping centre

now who could this possibly be. . . . . . . .

for what

Wanking to JAV again

I predict a riot

Stfu

?

who cares. tat least some australians died

Sir Coffee Colouredgrandchildren

Kaiser Chiefs - I Predict A Riot

if you're ever unsure and Shazam isn't working just google the lyrics

AI is good for it too

australians

kek mate.

XD

009 Sound System - Trinity

looks Welsh

he couldnt understand the lyrics because he's french you insensitive prick

POOOOLAAAAAAAAAANNNNNND!!!!!

i clearly meant the victims, dumbarsh

yesh mish moneypenny

yeah she may well look like she's wearing a groucho marx mask but imagine if groucho marx climbs into your lap and starts riding your dick

it wasnt a typo

lel

gang fight

what on earth makes you think the victims weren't the same black
you have a niggier's iq

Nah I am good. I thought so.

nor wash mine

well I can understand French lyrics in the French songs I listen to, insofar as I can imagine how those words must be spelled, even if I don't know the meaning

youtube.com/watch?v=0Tl08kTvod0

you cant make fun of it if it was a intended joke by me

because their hand is in the shot you dumb idiot wanker get stabbed by an n

3.

lawrence: a niggier

Falling.

tokyo is the most perfect city on earth

why are there two child rapists posting that green cartoon thing

mental isnt it how i can just leave

Fucking shoes.

live in a pod

work 12 hours a day

never have a relationship with the opposite sex because you don't have the time, money, or energy

Ah yes, perfect

Excellent.

not dissimilar to my own life here

Avoid trouble.

you can't even explain why, so you resort to posting this empty sentences

Bet her shits stink.

IMG_0005.jpg - 1284x2016, 500.67K

Fucking faggots, literal garbage.

t. brade lunner

inhumane density of people but you zoom in and it's a miniature village on every little street

Sure, I confess.

Watch what you say about Emma, Egyptian bastard.

IMG_2640.png - 1018x681, 612.23K

Kill em all XD.

Cry me a river of blood?

So.

have you ever been to Tokyo??

high cost of living

overcrowding

small living spaces

language barrier

natural disasters

strict social norms

limited green space

how can this be perfect? the English countryside is way better

using loud powertools at 8:50am on a sunday should be punishable by hanging

I don't even look at faces bro, wth..

he said the "most perfect city", not the best place to live in general
even if living in a megacity is unnatural and generally sucks, tokyo would be the best option

true

Better that way. Suck a goat dick? XD.

>high cost of living

houses in english countryside already expensive

>overcrowding

mono cultural though

>small living spaces

i'm alone

>language barrier

i don't talk to people

>natural disasters

I've embraced death

>strict social norms

I'm british

>limited green space

just use the bullet train

doubt anyone would care if i just DIED !

Shoulders.

nothing going on

might as well make a 3rd coffee

what advantage is it to live in a monocultural place if you're not part of that culture

My life is at steak, no lie.

ye somewhere out there's a gay rapist excited to shag you're bum hole and he's not a necrophiliac

madness, utter madness

There is an explanation to it. And that as well. Just fuck off.

yeah really funny mate haha.

peace and security without need to socialise and if you do you'll always be the centre of attention and a head above everyone there

based and funeralpyrepilled

You do your thing and leave me alone alright?

scotch girls' moist clefts

what job would you work in tokyo

*school

Bad family.

I’ll turn the Nile into a river of blood to swallow you up.

Respect.

gigolo

Probably right about it from the first try. Also, this is very insane. Just saying.

surprised youtube doesn't offer more features for curating your own algorithm

it's honestly annoying clicking a video, finding out it's shit, and knowing that your algorithm is now poisoned by that video for weeks / months to come

What?

just click more

or if you go for ages just refreshing without clicking it'll ask if you want something new

get blocktube

Let's make it personal.

day off toil today lads what a great day loving it large

no toil on sundays

What?

me? just don't sign into youtube

We skipped that shit already.

You are concerned again.

My impression is that Japanese office jobs involve longer hours and more stress than in the UK

I watched a YouTube video of a Japanese salaryman who worked 9am to 8pm. Stupid hours.

just bought a bunch of vintage clothes
finna look fresh this winter

What? Do you want it?

is molesting schoolgirls included in those 11 hours?

this winter

vile antipodean FREAK

somehow cut the inside of my lip whilst shaving. Mad one

New

I am a man in case you didn't know. Also I am intending on getting my dick cut and stabbing myself to death probably.

NEW

maybe you're disabled

I appreciate your help? I don't need your pussy, baby.

Get out!!! Please. I almost spilled my semen.

thanks