crash bang wallop
/brit/
should i go for subway or 'za lads? they're the only places still open in my area except mcdonalds and i don't fancy mcdonalds
sorry about my evil
*pisses on a jewish kids grave*
hit or miss? I guess they never miss huh?
Rorke referring to himself as a gentleman or chap
both mate x
Hnngg yes please I'm a carbohydrate fiend and this is what I crave
corr now there's an idea
i'll get a meatball sub and a pepperoni 'za, a grand meal fit for a king
I.Do.Not.Give.A.Fuck.About.The.Middle.East
Fucking sick of seeing that shit everyday on the news, I genuinely couldn't care if every single hospital in the middle east got nuked
adults need around 2000kcal a day
why they lying?
get neither you fat bastard get a grilled chicken salad (no dressing)
That's simply true
Also a lot of people would be a lot healthier if they ate 2000kcal for a few months
just found out real money online poker in aus is banned
it's joever lads
za
2000kcal is loads I'd feel a proper fatty eating that much in a day
you a dwarf or something?
Rorke forgetting that women exist
Im average height (5'8)
Ooh… you’re hard
my liege (king of the manlets)
you must be very skinny
look at him go
youtube.com
Shan't
I love the gf so much, she’s perfect in basically every way, but she’s terrified of dogs and it feels bad knowing I’ll never get to own one again. :(
apparently you can scare packs of muslim women and they scatter if you walk your dog close to them
jobsworth doleman had me applying to one job per day and then I rock up for the meeting and he doesn't even know what I've applied to. Do these lads literally just sit about all day, interrupted by 5 minutes scrounger meetings 10 times a day?
Just had haircut. Happy with it. Need to get into the habit of going every 6-8 weeks. My last haircut prior to today was the 15th of January. You might remember me complaining about it here.
Rachel Reeves demonstrated it isn't just inflation soaring higher today as she was seen on TV defending her economic record in a bizarre falsetto.
An unfortunate technical error meant the under-fire Chancellor's response to a dramatic spike in prices was delivered in tones more akin to Mickey Mouse.
show us it then kitten x
The average "doleman" attendee is a lot different than the stylee of a /brit/ poster
does that make sense to you? nothing to be afraid of
You’re not that important to them bro. Just do as he says for your bennies like a good boy yeah? x
*sprays canned cheese spread up me bunghole*
do you get dysphoria being forced to look in the mirror at your manface for an hour?
the bruncheon x
should probably get off to the gym but I just cannot be fucking bothered
Bet you have the classic massive tranny fringe to hide your receding hairline, don’t you?
Could you imagine seeing this live and not expecting it, fucking hell lel
you don't have a gf, stop the cap
When I was signed on I put the URLs for the 2-3 jobs I applied to each day in the online journal. Then without fail I'd go to my appointment at the job centre and my coach would ask me what I've been doing to look for work.
It's all there in the journal you daft cow. At least look at the fucking journal then tell me "I see you've applied to X, Y and Z, have you heard back from these?" but I never even received that courtesy.
performing attraction dynamics analysis in my rancid evil incel smelly childhood bedroom
corrr the perfect gf is one who doesn't like dogs
Mate 1 had ugly gf
used to joke with Mate 2 about it
couple of years later Mate 2 has stolen Mate 1's gf, everyone else has fallen out but he is still with her now
Just seen a non-white teen lad wearing a puffy overcoat zipped up with the hood up. It's 25 degrees and the sun is splitting the trees. Why are they like this?
Maybe on WhatsApp or discord later
No
My hairline isn't receding.
I'm glad they wound you up you lazy little cunt
Seething like fuck in your bedroom all this time later LOL meanwhile she just lumps you in with all the other greasy unwashed dossers
gf is it? should get one myselgf
honestly impressed with your man's ability to keep it professional
although smirking or letting out a titter would have humanised him a bit and perhaps have left an even better impression
Yeah the average doleman is working less hard than the average dole scrounge, I'm afraid to say
myselgf
freudian slip there
can't stand my bitch of a mam
Actually howling bet they had to wait until he'd stopped having a chuckle to go back to the studio
Big fan of Charles Tyrwhitt's Westminster weave
Then sit down haha
paraplegic is she aye?
the poonited shartdom of gay shitain and poorthern direland
Poo Peeland
Ushited States of America
Australia
My two favourite lady names are Aoife and Áine. Was in love with an Áine once. She loved me too. But I ruined it. Anyway, Lyra Vakyria, the wrestler, her name is Aoife.
You lads got any favourite lady names?
pasta going on the boil lads. yum
being able to see posts like this from the other side of the world is why they invented the internet
Emma
Pozzedfailia
five total hours of sleep in the last 72
somehow don't feel tired at all but my body feels like shit and I think my sanity is starting to go
How do I fix this? Also is this alcohol related? I went on a bender and drank probably twenty units of alcohol every night from Thurs-Sat but haven't touched the stuff since (and didn't drink prior to Thursday since two weekends ago)
*dipsy bollocks into your boiling pasta water*
*lets out a yelp and a scream like Tom from Tom and Jerry*
Very similar situation on this end.
probably alcohol related yes
some people find it stimulating as well as depressing
if you find it stimulating its easy to get addicted
screeching
drink lots of water
go into quiet dark room
lie in bed with eyes closed until sleep
Molly
I'll cave ya mums head in brah
Horrible name
How do I fix this?
Sleep
Might start a portaloo hire company
creating insightful infographics on statistics about attraction between different racial groups in my evil evil evil little smelly incel childhood bedroom
King of America
fucking done him
took the vtuber pill
Routine binge drinking will eventually fuck up your body the same as being a regular alkie even if your binges are spaced out by a few weeks. Ask me how I learned this.
How did you learn that?
depends what you class as binge drinking
NHS classifies more than 4 pints as binge drinking
watching ‘asmr yoga’
basically just an excuse for a slag to make mouth sounds while she bends over in leggings isn’t it
might get the knob out
medieval europeans were binge drinkers then hmm alright fascinating stuff yes *strokes goatee*
Medieval Europeans drank very diluted beer most of the time
choonage
Try to sleep, and if you can't, maybe buy some sleeping tablets. You can get diphenhydramine without a prescription in the UK, I dunno about the USA though.
well according to the NHS they were binge drinkers *starts smiling at you and cackling like a lunatic* hmmm hmmm hmm!
Hate squats
I'd take down her particulars
Allah, allah, who the fook is allah
Is their pizza any good now? I've only had it once, and it was very bland.
No you don't, you love them really.
Yeah it feels like you're dying but that's how you know they're good for you.
West Nile virus detected in UK mosquitoes for first time
FUCK that is BRILLIAAANT!
A NEW BOOK claims that boys were taken from a notorious Belfast children’s home to Lord Louis Mountbatten’s home in Co Sligo, where he then sexually abused them.
‘Kincora: Britain’s Shame’ alleges that MI5 and the British political establishment have attempted to cover up his involvement in a paedophile ring which operated out of Kincora Boys’ Hostel in East Belfast in the 1970s.
The book was written by former BBC journalist Chris Moore, who has investigated Kincora for over 40 years.
Kincora opened on Belfast’s Upper Newtownards Road, close to Stormont’s Parliament Buildings, in May 1958. It closed in October 1980 following the exposure of sexual abuse there. The building was demolished in 2022.
£6 meal deals at co-op lads
these are officially the end times for me
you wouldn't drink 4 pints of any other liquid thougheverbeitheless
Thinking about shagging an oriental prostitute.
I can't squat to depth, something is seriously wrong with my body so they always feel horrible
Just chugged 7 pints of diet dew
You should only get a meal deal if you are in a rush and haven't had the time to make your own lunch.
25 is cold for them, they come from places where 40 is the regular temp
You should have sex
thinking about them beans
According to the book, five people claim that they were sexually abused and raped by Mountbatten, who was a great-uncle to King Charles III.
Moore spoke to three of them, who alleged that they were taken to Classiebawn Castle, Mountbatten’s home in Mullaghmore, in the summer of 1977, and were raped by him. Two of the boys lived in Kincora at the time.
One of the men said they were taken to Classiebawn by Joe Mains, a paedophile who was a warden at Kincora.
Speaking to The Journal, Moore said that Mains was the leader of the paedophile ring.
“Joe Mains took naked photographs of the boys in Kincora, so that he could show these boys to his clients, and they could order whichever boy they wanted,” he said.
“That’s new evidence that’s come from one of the survivors of Mountbatten’s sexual abuse.”
Mains, along with two other senior staff at Kincora – Raymond Semple and William McGrath – were jailed in 1981 for abusing 11 boys there.
McGrath was the housemaster at Kincora and a prominent member of the Orange Order. He was also involved with Tara, an armed Loyalist paramilitary organisation.
In the book, Moore writes that police sources told him that McGrath was an agent informer for MI5 in the 1970s while employed at Kincora.
He said that George Caskey, an RUC detective who led inquiries into the boys’ home in the 1980s, told him that MI5 “obstructed” his investigations and that to him, this represented “criminal actions”.'
“I have used secret documents that disclose exactly how MI5 frustrated the Tory government of Margaret Thatcher in the early 1980s,” Moore said.
“I’ve got emails and telex messages that they used at the time that show that MI5 did not want any of their officers to be questioned or to be summoned to a court.”
He said MI5 persuaded the British government not to have a full judicial inquiry, which resulted in a “watered down” inquiry “under an English judge, as MI5 demanded”.
Had sex on Sunday, with my gf. Was alright, she was a bit tired though.
people like you are putting british prostitutes out of business
Loada bollocks probably
During a visit to Ireland in 2015, then-Prince Charles visited the site of the attack in Mullaghmore. The killing was later dramatised for The Crown, the Netflix series about the British royal family, in 2020.
Arthur Smyth was 11 years old when he claims he was raped twice by Mountbatten in 1977. He told Moore that he had no idea who Mountbatten was until he saw on the news in 1979 that he had been killed.
“I went up to my bedroom. I started crying. I felt sick,” Smyth says in the book.
“That somebody in high stature like this could do such a thing, because we all think that a paedophile is a bloke that you don’t know, that he’s weird-looking or he doesn’t look right, but he fooled everybody.
“He was a paedophile and people need to know him for what he was … not for what they’re portraying him to be.”
In 2022, Smyth waived his right to anonymity to make the allegation against Mountbatten and launched legal proceedings against a number of institutions.
It came a month after the publication of a report by NI Police Ombudsman Marie Anderson, which found that complaints made about the failure of police to investigate allegations of sexual abuse in Kincora were “legitimate and justified”.
Moore writes in the book that two separate investigations into Kincora in 1975 were blocked by MI5 and the then Royal Ulster Constabulary (RUC).
“Those investigations should have been allowed to grow then… For five years after that, boys continued to be raped and sexually abused.”
He also writes that secret government files on Kincora have been locked away, some until 2065 and others until 2085.
He said that the British intelligence services “need to reveal what they know”.
“What’s in the files? What is it they’re hiding? What do they want to hide? Did they know that boys were being sexually abused? Did they do nothing about it?”.
I was in Kenya back in April and it was consistently 24-25 degrees. I wore a polo shirt while the locals all wore jackets and kept asking if I'm not cold.
*enters the guitar store and plays stairway to heaven on one of the electric guitars i'm trying out*
I'm 6'2" with gigantic femurs so even with decent ankle mobility my bottom position will never see the back of my thighs touching my calves, I just physically cannot go down that low.
The trick is to just not care. Your biomechanics are what they are but I personally believe there is still much value in the movement itself. In my case I feel squats a lot in my lower back and arse just as much as my quads. But it's still a great exercise. You'll still get a fat arse and a quad pump if you stick with squats over time.
It took me years until I properly started enjoying them. Please keep doing squats.
I swear, there's a milf pornstar who looks very similar to her, but I can't remember her name, anyone know?
Co-op is hideously expensive all of a sudden, went in to pick up some tomato passata and it was £1.55 ffs, 50p in tesco
what part of "only places open" did you not understand?
lady sonia?
The personal secretary and an adviser to Mexico City’s mayor have been shot dead by gunmen in a brazen daylight attack in a central part of the city.
I was in Kenya back in April
kenya take your boring bastard posts elsewhere?
I am average height, with average femurs, decent mobility I think, I just can't squat well. I've been stuck at around 100kg for a long time now, it's grim. Low bar squats feel like shit and so do high bar.
It's been expensive for about 7 years now, even before the cost of living crisis.
Work with someone who is technically capable and works very hard but just constantly misses out things I feed back to him and just cba anymore hate working with people who just can't get it right and require constant course correction.
co-op are invader appeasers
do not shop there
Nah, I think the pornstar is German.
i have tight hip flexors
i remember when subway was doing adverts about $7 footlong subs, now they cost $13.20. woke gone mad
i remember when subway was doing adverts about $7 footlong subs, now they cost $13.20. woke gone mad
Co-op has always been a rip off, you pay for the convenience
Tesco Express is usually cheaper though while still being convenient
might go to a bar and get wankered and make a complete jackass of myself towards any remotely attractive woman present
looking at huge anime tits again
You should only buy supermarket passata if you are in a rush and haven't had the time to make your own passata.
u going to jail for this one
Start seething when I see a whore who also likes my niche taste in music
would you like me to loosen them up for you?
Cruise of the Gods is an all-time Coogankino
Is it illegal to fuck a retard if the tard is of age?
yeah that would be wicked cheer mate
I dunno if this will be of any use to you but what made biggest difference for me was really trying to find stability in the bottom position. That point where you're as low as you an go, everything is under tension, you're finding that balance point, you can feel your hips in that pocket of space, pause there then drive up and out.
It's hard to explain but you want to be rock solid in that position. When you're hitting it right it's like you're a coiled spring down there, ready to push up and out. So that would be my advice to you: try some squats pausing at the bottom, really make an effort to find that stable base and only then drive up and out. Focus on those quality reps and once you know for sure what they look / feel like for you, aim to be hitting reps like that every time you go down on a squat. Also you might also consider altering the width of your stance (narrower or wider) and see if that makes any difference.
I'm sorry but it's 50p mate why wouldn't you
shagged your mom last night with my big black cock
^_^
depends
was thinking that I'd actually be delighted if my daughter turned out to be a lesbian
Homemade passata is cheaper, healthier and tastier, and you will enjoy it much more.
was thinking that I'd actually be delighted if my daughter turned out to be BBC-only
Love being a new worlder. I want gun fights on dusty roads, train robberies. Mafia hits. Cartel warlords. Mad Max. Bring back Highwaymen.
Is that what they're saying on the school playground now little boy?
What if she were one of those lesbians that sometimes shags africans just for the size
It's 50p mate and it's tomatoes
There's a list of about 100 items I'd rather spend my time making from scratch
Well.
cyst gelt
post here yesterday at 17:00
he's here having a meltdown
post here last night at 01:00
he's here having a meltdown
post here today at 11:30
he's here having a meltdown
fucking hell
Really not doing a lot at work at the moment, makes me think I'll get the chop sooner rather than later.
tfw used to treat myself to a £5 footlong sub + drink + cookie for lunch when I was at college
Netherlands, notorious for it's love of classical music, and BBC/scat spam. Join us as we adventure in a land never met before and we unland the national identity of the Moroccan that posts here under it.
I'll try this out, not really sure how I should be squatting anyway, I try 3x5 on MWF but it really feels too tough, yet people say it's not enough at the same time
GRADE belonged to yachting fraternity of Beaulieu—Lord Montagu’s ritual abuse town
Bembridge is the ritual abuse town of Michael Grylls & Lady Bottomley where Mandelson & Heath were seen
RANTZEN was brought to Bembridge as a kid
Beaulieu+Bembridge are either side of the Solent
GRADE used the BBC to facilitate:
1. Jimmy Savile
2. ‘Savile’s protector’: Rantzen
In partnership with Grade, RANTZEN used the BBC podium Grade had given her to facilitate:
1. Her ‘victim monitoring and silencing scheme’: ChildLine
2. Savile & other Cult members—now protected
Don't let one spammer ruin the good image of the Netherlands. Amsterdam is a great city for example. Just walk into a coffee shop and buy some weed with no questions asked. That's the life right there.
I thought the whole thing about working in a corporate environment was that you made a good amount of money and the hard work and keeping up appearances you have to do around the office with the slick execs ends in bonuses and benefits not just endless drudgery back and forth in endless approval spirals and alignment meetings wiping arses and making as much as you would as a plasterer with a van in a pair of trackky bottoms with a copy of the sun and the ability to step outside for a roll-up whenever you like.
Mental how fucking fat he was
He's Persian
Yeah there's something wrong with your form in that case. When I first started I weighed 72KG as a lanklet and was pushing up past the 100kg mark after not very much time at all. Was also doing 5x5 5 times a week without issue and adding weight every other workout. You should take some time to do bodyweight squats today and just purely focus on your form, make sure you're not getting the Elvis knee or your hips rolling or your weight moreso on one leg than the other etc etc
Alan Partridge getting blazed on a 8 inch spliff
quite the forehead on that fella on the left
OK Rorke, think you’re so smart do you?
Re-read ‘Search For My Tongue’ and ‘Half-caste’.
Compare the ways the writers convey feelings about identity in ‘Search For My Tongue’ and ‘Half-caste’.
You should make reference to language, form and structure.
Support your answer with examples from the poems
bit of a heroin head me haha x
reading bout mi histry
feel like going for a drive but i've got about 8 beers in me
loved noncing little boys too
godskin noble looking ahh
get a taxi lad
racial slurs aside, i think people who watch this kind of thing should be immured
mad how well I sleep now I'm caffeine-free. fall asleep within minutes and sleep straight through for 8+ hours
documenting my lived experiences in my nefarious evil incel smelly childhood bedroom
This video helped me a lot as well:
weather app says it's sunny but it's not
and sit in some some paki cab that reeks of curry where i have to pay $40 per mile? no thanks!
due to woke
Bought a skateboard cuz the weather's really nice but also it's really hot so walking to work has me pishing with sweat. Feel really weird as a 30 year old man in a suit skateboarding, but it's been really chill and saved me a lot of effort.
any wretched unemployed imbecile man in
no am a toilman like my father and his father before him
Did you buy an actual skateboard or is it a longboard/cruiser type thing?
eating poo
unfortunately not anymore
got a horrible rash on my balls and upper thigh from today's toil
working for other people really is the most ultimate jewish psy-op
sweep out the toil van
have a sandwich and immediately get crumbs everywhere again
?
love subtle bait like this cause retards always fall for it
why did they do it
Migrants' bellies full.
Migrants' bollocks empty.
Dunno the difference tbqh mate, last time I had anything to do with skateboards was THUG. I just went into the shop and grabbed whatever my big feet fit on comfortably. It looks like the ones from THUG. Has the wee kickflip flaps and all. What's the difference?
Don't like you saying my life is bait.
perfect zoo weather
Currently doing a project at work that each output requires the approval of eight people and a further four to be aware and it is a nightmare
Fifteen Years of Solitude - A Memoir by Rorke
Luv my pensioners frozen
Luv my migrants pampered
Luv my timmies euthanized
Luv my katies stretched
corrr can I see? x
Thanks, good video. I can't even squat bodyweight without but always figured that was just because it wasn't loaded and didn't matter, am I supposed to not use weight at all until I can do that or what? I feel like the weight pushes me into a better position
Get the migrants fed
Get the migrants washed
Get the migrants medically checked
Get the migrants housed
Get the migrants shagged
Get the migrants paid
wish I had a gf into anal sex
she's extremely precious of anything relating to her bumhole you see
life in the incel lair
bet she won't even let you sniff her farts or play with her poo the prudish bore
um
You could just do the bar so you have that 'shape' being provided to you, but without the weight actually pushing you out of position until you've got the form down.
sounds based
sodomy is an act of faggotry
poo
fight for black rights ya fucking incel chudder
why is diddy facing charges for paying a man and woman to have sex while he watched and explained how he wanted them to do it, while throwing money at them
how is that even illegal? its just like porn but live and under his instructions
4 am
Guess I'm not sleeping tonight
I just love being unemployed. Getting a job is the most cucked thing you can do. Never gonna be me
I am SO horny.
Enjoy dying alone having accomplished nothing in life
For me, it's indie game dev. Working double the hours I would in a normal job, getting paid half as much if I'm lucky but somehow convincing myself I'm a lucky guy
Have you never eaten her ass?
In Germany, they started introducing government recipes for all kinds of processed food, including Jaffa Cake in the recent years. Meaning: The government tells the industry how to make their products now. Unironically. And the industry complies like the communist stooges they are. To exactly no one's surprise, it all sucks. They exchanged sugar for sugar replacements like Sorbite (among others), now I get constipated like fuck and retain water like a middle-aged mother of five when I eat them. Same thing for Haribo. Both were my go-to sweets on a cut and it worked great until the government started bullshitting again. Fuck this. Now I have to bake Aachener Printen again by myself like a fucking hippie.
Boohoo, people eat too much fat and sugar imo, let's exchange both for harmful chemicals
Fuck. The. Greens. Fuck. The. Government. I loved Jaffa Cakes so much and they ruined them. Fuck. I hate this timeline.
The call it "Reformulierung von Lebensmittelprodukten" by the way if you think I am bullshitting here. Google it. Gah.
Germans can't eat Jaffa Cakes any more
i have one of the smallest cocks in western europe, by a considerable distance
Yeah I'll be looking back at my life on my deathbed and what I'll be thinking is "wow I wish I spent more of my life being a wagie" LMFAO
sounds cool tbf, yeah I could be self employed doing something I like
I am on the right..
my softy barely tumbles over my bollocks
I've seen you on xvideos
knock knock
I would experiment with leaning your weight forward slightly more on bodyweight squats and you should find that your body goes into the position you're talking about being forced into under a loaded barbell.
Remove any notion that your knees shouldn't go in front of your toes.
Worth it
are you sure it wasnt me?
Because in USA that stuff is all legal but if you cross state lines it becomes illegal. I think. I'm not sure.
Got a massive swinger of a nob me. Flaccid I'm bigger than all my mates erect. Just an absolutely freakish thing.
Bring back the original Lucozade
underemployment is far worse than unemployment I can attest to that
Idk what's wrong with this kid, I fingered his sister,
runtoil begins soon. I'm up to 35 minutes nonstop up from 3 minutes 10 weeks ago.
gone.
Anglo-Saxon-Norman mutts took this language away from us
Perfect.
Good work lad. Make sure to bring water cuz this heat will kill you
exactly
wtf is a situationship
It is ogham script of Ireland and is unique that it is read vertically but is unique that it changes directions per line up-down to down up
EYYY YOOOO I'M TRYING TO GET HOME EREEEEEEEE
Starting to feel like normal again after abusing nicotine for years. Horrible muck
finally got that perfect poo yellow hue on my curry
multipolar world: the dream
small and weaker countries have more freedom to negotiate with larger powers
multipolar world: the reality
everybody is a slave to either washington or beijing
what did people get stuck in their head before recorded music was invented?
chicken curry on the hurry sarr
It's where you both like each other and are shagging but one of you doesn't want to get into a fullblown relationship for one reason or another. It's basically an unrequited romantic relationship, but with a sexual component.
Spears usually.
Wish Anon Babble would leave
indeed lad, homemade and all
ngl I thought I would have packed it in by now but on days I'm meant to go I find myself wanting to actually do it
It's called a "runner's high" for a reason
Lucozade still tastes alright, the real criminal offence was taking all of the sugar out of Ribena. It tastes of nothing now, it's just cold purple liquid.
shagging about but zoomer slags don't like being considered slags so make up different words for it
spam
Take notes
Maybe we should have a democratic single world government. It would set and enforce basic laws of decency and fairness, and all countries would be held to those laws.
I always thought jogging was gay but it is actually pretty great
Any neopagans in?
If the world was civilised, that'd be a cool idea.
Don't go so far.
Yeah Ribena went from a favourite drink to a reminder of disappointment if ever I get one now
any plans for pride month, lads?
For casual sports watchers, the champions league, europa league and conference league finals are all free to watch, Google it if you don't believe me
You remind me of 21 savage
New Emma just dropped lads. Not sure why she's at Cannes, she hasn't been in a fillum in nearly a decade.
Wish I could shag zoomer girls
I need to.
Pint at the pub
x2 glasses of wine
x4 cans of 440ml lager
On a random tuesday night
Simply lost control of my drinking lads
let's get retarded in here
let's get it started in here
(yeah)
shant
nonce
youtube.com
If you're angry, it helps you calm down.
If you're sad, it helps you cheer up.
If you're happy, it helps you appreciate life.
alri millionaire no one can afford that anymore
Hello
your new name is 21 savage
Going bear down.
watch gay porn
the oriental fanny
Mek it
alright
haven't been to the pub on a weekday in about 10 years
the oriental fan noise
bring back smoking in pubs
we all just waiting for our 300s timers to expire so we can make the new then yeah?
sat at 159 seconds myself