/brit/

British government edition

First for Nell

FUCK I picked the wrong thread

smelly talent free

Rorke whipping out his Google Pixel 8a and drying up every single vagina in a 10 mile radius

wish i had twitter hope it was a painful death

here's your snape bro

just seent a website for a magazine that called itself "the original social media"
cringe, how desperate can you get?

try a pixel 6 leftypol im more working class than 100 of you

Me (23) and my missus (21)

nick frost wouldn't be too bad as snape if he lost weight

just bought an Honor 400 myself

that's three people

Arabella Stanton cast as Hermione Granger

She’s not Emma. She’s just not Emma. I don’t see myself (once she comes of age of course) posting about sniffing her farts. Only Emma can do that.

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my phone was unbranded from aliexpress

A what?

phone

aint nun harry cud do x

So... erm... why are they remaking Harry Potter? The movies aren't *that* old and they're still pretty beloved. What's the twist?

the black one is snape

guys the clocks go back on my birthday this year. one whole extra hour of my special day!! :)

why did they have to pick a sub-mid jeet

fucking get the oil just stop'd right this second

her pretty face would be nice being coated in the cream from a purple headed bbc

don't understand this harry potter remake thing, why remake something that was already fairly good the first time, isn't severely technologically obsolete, and finished its original run pretty recently?

money

Sound all nice and middle class in my own head

gave a presentation that was recored

play it back

the working class pleb comes out

ghastly stuff
I'm around tarquin and poppy every day and thought I blended in seamlessly
I'm not but a monkey. An ineloquent poor monkey.

For me its the Xiaomi Poco X7 Pro

and I just don't understand this Tracey Emin art

joanne has a few tricky lawsuits coming down the pipeline

How feasible is moving to Aus as a Brit? I plan on working as a data centre technician. My future wife is in Perth waiting for me

asteriskmong *loves* his fucking asterisks

I'm around tarquin and poppy every day and thought I blended in seamlessly

That's retarded

if that's the case then they should've ignored harry potter's story and come up with something new set in that universe, maybe something set during the first wizarding war perhaps?

It is a TV series, and as such will be able to cover far more of the books. Many parts were left out of the films.

It's going to be pro-trans to save the franchise from Rowling's toxic image

well thats my arse raped then

should get some tranny actors in then

They tried that with Fantastic Beasts, but it was shit. Going back to the winning formula now

get the poos barmed

they didn't have voldy in that period, i wouldn't mind seeing you-know-who at the height of his power

stroking my unclit

I don't care what my kids do I don't force them to do cello or any of that stuff I'm very hands off with most stuff but I'm fanatical about screen time. Ipads, chromebooks, all of it. They are terrible for learning. The schools the ones that's given them this stuff. They are completely unputdownable. My one regret is not taking it off them immediately.

This a good approach to parenting or nah?

rorke referring to his skinny white ass as a 'phatty'

every parent i know says they're not going to give their kids ipads, but then they realise how easy it is to shut them up for a bit with one

Awful approach, force your kids to get some good hobbies for fuck sake

Wonder if they can smell my diareeha bum on the rain

They should have based it around Harry's dad and how much of a cunt he was until he got that sweet Lily pussy

alri chris chan

Excellent physiognomy

ktimming like a mad cunt

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are those fantastic beast films any good

you still watching that big suze podcast lad?

she say anything about pakistanis yet?

fraid not

It's ridiculous innit
Not even 15 years since the films ended

what?

they're appalling

haven't had a proper shite in weeks, might have to chug a bottle of that cough syrup i tried abusing a few months back and it gave me mad diarrhoea

ktim

whats the first harry potter its alri to wank over emma in?

no

ktimmo the 3rd

are zoomers okay?

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Jews were literally having a melty because Mrs. Rachael had a 3 year old amputee from Gaza on her show to sing a song with her.
Jews are literally satanic tbqh

smoking a cigarillo

don't know

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What. A. G.

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send that freak flying

Harry Potter book rankings

Goblet of Fire >>>> Half Blood Prince > Prisoner of Azkaban > Deathly Hallows > Philosopher's Stone > Order of the Phoenix > Chamber of Secrets

Harry Potter film rankings

Prisoner of Azkaban >>>> Half Blood Prince > Goblet of Fire (it's high kino) > Deathly Hallows > Order of the Phoenix > Philosopher's Stone > Chamber of Secrets

Refute it. Pro tip you can't.

Anyone remember Mikey?

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PikeyingMikey

no social stimulus

not forcing them to pick up any hobbies or skills

literally instructions on how to raise the most boring depressed cunt to ever exist.
t. mum raised me like this and I'm comfortable the most boring cunt I know

counter: hermione's fittest in chamber of secrets

live in a bills included flat

get to shower twice a day for as long as I want

absolutely beat the system, me

this is going in my compilation of eyebrow raising posts

yeah but did it fit

pikechael

Um lad...

No one is skipping showers due to cost

Ok.

is egypt a bot

What?

Busty Japanese office ladies

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no. he's just a bored, lonely, and mentally ill mega-incel

eGyPT

my job? get paid to go into the loos and huff poo smells

OoTP book is underrated.

dont have any particular reason to dislike homosexuals but i still find them utterly repugnant

But she's just saying no screens not no social stuff
she hates it and says unless it's coding, computer animation or excel spreadsheets nothing else should use screens. Now she's saying Edtech is worthless and school are wasting hundreds of millions on it.

Free (you)s

It's spaino as was the Canadian poster earlier

JLo's getting old

diaryea smells and looks like the curry i had earlier
must have gone straight in and straight out
dont know what disgusting muck those buggers put in it

are there a lot of wogs where you live?

Yes

seeing thousands of shortform videos of cats is terrible for the brain as well

Alright what's really going on

Are the kids really much dumber now?

any hungry bottom in?

dont mind benders
hate flamboyant mincers

pride month soon

:/

would still sling one up her tbf

her tits look nice here

Big Suze has reached her endgame. She wants no kid to own internet connected devices until after they've finished their GCSEs.

Your tummy gets hungry, not your bottom. Do you eat with your bum?

eating my dinner x

they're calling it mouse pedophilia. strange world we live in

Only penises.

It's pure satire

TECHNOLOGY!

She's conceded it will never happen.

kids aren't bored anymore. They are passive vessels for all sorts of content, nonstop. They have constant provided for entertainment. They don't need to develop imaginations. It's all so unhealthy.

they cast an indian kid as hermione granger

it's levi-oooh, saar - not levio, saar

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Why did you get your trip banned spaki?

you stole that joke

It's a slog

I didn't

Bizarre accusation

he posted cp on Anon Babble

queens of /brit/

They've now said the techbros in Silicon Valley ban all screens in their houses for their kids.

I’m a Queen too x

Ah, coming up on 8pm
Let's see what footy we are blessed with today

fuck all

oh my DAYS

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Everyting gwarn be iree

There are decades of kino matches available online

purchased new pillows

19:45
Jamaica v Trinidad & Tobago
Unity Cup

live-footballontv.com/

only 3 months to go until it's back

Impulse purchase or did you sleep on it?
Haha

download grindr

all the good looking/muscular lads are behind a premium account paywall

what’s the point? if i’m going to experiment sexually i want to do it with some handsome sexy cunt with silky hair not some fat pudgy incel looking freakoid

are sabrina is BBC ONLY

mmhmm

yardie goons going at it

thought this about shagging a fem trap and downloaded it but it's mainly middle aged men wanting their hairy arse shagged while wearing their wifes knickers

no i had been meaning to for a while but only bought them today

had to block that yookay aesthetics twitter account
it riles me up too much

28 and still live at home

mumberg and dadberg have gone away for the week

mumberg called me today and told me she never realised how fucking boring her is

if anything I'm doing them a favour by refusing to move out

Transgenderism is an evil paedophilic death cult, the sooner it's eradicated and it's advocates punished for the harm they have done to vulnerable children the better.

:(

kek true
full of fat and ugly hairy blokes

when i had gay thoughts it was about muscular men my age (early 20s) with smooth toned skin and handsome faces not these runts

face the truth lad
ignorance may be bliss but blissfulness is for women and children

ogun dey wan kill yo papa onijere

Just seen some pajeeta eating curry with her hands on the tube

white people love shit like home improvement lol

An Englishman’s home is his palace, as they say

bros stroking out loool

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Took ketamine in a council flat in the early hours of Sunday morning and communed with the Aryan oversoul

if you don't like pickles you should try one of these bad boys, i could scran them all day

off to go play piano! tinkle-tinkle little star, how I wonder what you are!
*runs out of thread with my trousers around my ankles and an incredibly pooey bum*

Why do you talk like a wog when you're a middle class white boy?

Sven GORAN Ericsson

refusing or incapable?

gonna watch kai cenat's vod from yesterday brb

FUCK THE RING PULL FELL INTO THE COKE CAN NOW I CAN'T PUT IN MY MOUTH AND CHEW ON IT FUCKING FUCKKKKKK

me @ all the mongs in my office

posilutely drowning in clunge lately

where can you buy clothes from, that when you want to re-buy the thing, it's still in stock
must have like 30 asos stock alerts set up for shit clearly never coming back in

good one you spacker

why would you want to. suck the juice not metal you retard

fucking state of this shite
what happened to all our good looking young men
the west truly has fallen

i’ve given up on being bi im just going back to strictly fanny

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think I might unironically lack a soul lads
dont think about or appreciate many things just mill about the house opening doors and flicking lights on and off and that
I've got two pairs of shoes and an old pair in a closet and I got all of them and put them on the coffee table to see if I could and once I did it nothing happened
dont know why I expected something spectaular but I really thought testing my agency like that might open something up inside me but I still feel as though I'm just cutting about waiting to die

*slaps knees*
well I'd best be hitting the ol' dusty trail

jacamo

does it really matter

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you wont be able to get hard with a woman now that you've experienced prostate stimulation and licked a man's arse hole

yeah you sound like a schizoid autistic freak and our gene pool could use less cunts like you, especially in a trying time for the british race such as now

chewing on these is the best part of the drink and the only reason I buy the cans

i haven’t tho
haven’t even kissed a man (kissed a young handsome spanish guys biceps in a club in barcelona when we were both drunk and joking around but that’s probably the gayest thing i’ve done)

i’ve shagged women and never been involved with men

The whites have become black.

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yo incels

just mill about the house opening doors and flicking lights on and off and that

congrats you've entered the parents whose adult children have moved out but don't have any grandchildren phase of life

autistic metal shagging freak

alri dee dee

english people will rib glaswegians for talking in their natural, unique dialect that harkens back centuries on this island and echoes a very important time in british history (early modern period, industrialisation and victorian era), yet will then ape the way london wogs and rappers speak. why is this? why is native linguistic variety shunned for babylonian judeo-bantu screeching?

bro is mentally 8 years old

wtf. how is it that Anon Babble can be the most hyper conservative rorkian traditionalists but also degenerate libertine homos

might just start slamming vodka shots until I pass out

please be mindful the cronem are about to play

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about to take lasagnaberg out from oventoil

That's really gay

need a mccubbin gf

Sorry to break it to you but this is a demographic thing. Thirdies wash in the evening and the white man washes in the morning. So again this poll like many is just white people counting

Rate the fit

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Do you even know who David Starkey is?

what does unc mean?

you'll notice I'm not wearing any trousers

Paki zoomer speak
Just ignore it

the white man washes in the morning.

Wrong.

2016 was 15 years ago

seasidecore

literally just the latest iteration of "boomer"

MPs already saying online anonymity should be banned in response to the Liverpool attack

How the fuck are they in anyway connected

uncle, used to refer to an older african american male regardless of relation by members of the nigga community

once again adopted by negrified rootless zoomers

unc unc unc unc unc

alright unc

got brutally raped by sword saint isshin then immediately went to ashina reservoir to get raped again

ive shaved my hair since lockdown
they want 20 quid now to cut your hair?
tempted to live with the shitty cut i manage behind the ears

No they arent

why do so many of you know the ins and outs of grindr?

They’re desperate to censor the internet so they can get away with more of their bullshit

drive drive drive drive

pooey old town

right im fuucking screaming at this

tried to charge me £30 last time I went gave him £20

best fulminated mercury farming locations

rotten strawbs on the shelves in m&s
whats the world coming to...
what next? a million "legal" immigrants coming into this country every year, imagine that!

fucking mental innit
but im seeing the times change and every cunt has a skin fade and im thinking about getting with it, becoming hip, you know

mental how I only ever have one type of cheese and it's merely the 24th best

I am such a GHASTLY pleb

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*rapes your arse at 1000000000 miles an hour*

This dosser wears a hi vis to make it appear as though he’s been working

11 beans for me big chief

I will not live in the pod
I will not get the vax
I will not eat the bugs
I will not accept the draft

I'm an Aryan aristocrat and I deserve to have slaves (including jews)

for me it's roquefort

Wait in line.

m&s is in a total shitstate right now
they are unironically looking for paper records and talking on landlines they can barely even email people

people like to tell me otherwise but i was born in 2003 and gained consciousness in the summer of 2006 so have fully watched the utter civilisational collapse of this nation unfold with 100% awareness since the 2008 crash

just because most of my generation are mongs doesn’t mean some of us aren’t. i still remember the days of windows xp and blockbuster and flip phones with the keypads where you had to press 9 free times to get hashtag or star. i remember woolies.

how did he not get the police

camembert has no business in being in the top 10
this is a disgrace, a cheese disgrace

Don't like how static Europe's borders have been over the past decades

We need new countries, new wars, new empires, some new energy

Nah mate it will be soulless yankification until judgement day

Oh alright mate

The almost German feeling. Pubic is nice.

quite font of comté but mine always goes off in the fridge and when i eat it it makes my brain go funny

innocent people have to die to fuffill my map painting autism

An Indian IT company is conducting an internal investigation to determine whether it was the gateway for the cyber-attack on Marks & Spencer, BBC News understands.

Tata Consultancy Services (TCS) has provided services to M&S for more than a decade.

Groin.

27

it doesnt hit as hard for you since you never saw the 90s. you dont know how far we've actually fallen. i saw local governments doing things only sheiks would dream of now

Because it's a barber. The guys who owns these shops don't care what the barbers are paid so long as they pay the chair rent.

Yeah they do actually

scotland will leave the united kingdom and it's inevitable ireland will be unified one day. the only border changes will be more cucking for the anglo bvll

We need deportation of all non whites from Europe.
Then Russia needs to be subjugated for Germanic lebensraum.

It looks Russian enough.

only thing that will be subjugated is your arse by my cock

mental how im so used to filtering brit on the 'log that I have genuine trouble finding it now

An Indian IT firm? M&S IS SAVED

how can you tell which ones a renter and which one is a chairlordberg

these indian contractors are notoriously shitty
so many businesses in the uk outsource their cyber security to these firms and i've seen how much of a shabby job they do

mine charges 23 quid because they know that most people wont have change and will give them 25
i dont mind though because theyre white english

We are good.

they will kindly do the needful sir

iget like 3 haircuts a year. and only about 15 quid. next time it'll be 1

The renters actually cut hair

i remember when i was at my grans house in the mid to late 2000s and we didn’t have smartphones or tablets you see so if i wanted to play games i literally had to play games on the telly. from the menu.

i ended up buying like 20 games and ran up like 300 quid on my dads credit card lmao

I had this feeling since I was a kid.

The attack on one of the biggest names on the UK high street forced M&S to resort to pen and paper to move billions of pounds of fresh food, drinks and clothing after it switched off its automated stock systems.

That led to bare food shelves and frustrated customers.

A month on, M&S' large online clothing service remains offline, and the attack has wiped more than a billion pounds off its stock market value.

pen and paper lol

the council does my haircuts

havent got a haircut since november 2023

Biscuits are my kryptonite

nah theres def some chairbergs who do treatments

next post from you

why am i a virgin at 28 lads?

phenibut is mine

My balls look European.

CANT FUCKING STAND THIS ANY MORE, I NEED TO START DRESSING SMARTER AND IT'S STILL OFFLINE. GET THE NATURAL MATERIALS ON.

Nothing wrong with that. Can't be hacked.

pen and paper lol

mental how useful these two are

shagged more birds than you i assure you

wind's howling

that was only a few months ago

LIV
ERP
OOL

that phenibut was good enough for jehovah

Just go to the shop you colossal runt.

on the prowl at closing time i assume?

Not Southern.

Mental how Turkey produces so many barbers. Why is that?

corr would love to get run over here

You can't order anything just add it to wishlists lmao

It was the cyclist's right of way, the car should have stopped and let the cyclist pass

hairy people

youre in awe of my luscious locks

nun timmy cud do x

doesnt matter
if youre a cyclist and you see a car hurtling towards you, you dont carry on cycling
its common sense

Anon Babble has completely obliterated by empathy receptors . people all day were asking if i saw what happened in liverpool and ithe pause i take is way too long because i forgot how normals react to such things.

I don't feel the energy.

nell tiger free
more like
fell niger tree

youre fucking hard mate

my fish and chips are calling me a daft racist again

not saying that. my reaction is just thats funny or i dont care. im nowhere near liverpool why the fuck would it be anything else

Make me erect.

Firstly of course it matters. Secondly I assume the cyclist just didn't see the car until it was too late. The cyclist would have assumed that drivers would give way to the cyclist already on the roundabout, as should happen.

Most of them are Syrian or Kurdish. I don’t know why they like to advertise as ‘Turkish barbers’ when Kurds constantly seethe over Turks

no offence but why is there no new

Send porn.

there's one right after this post lad

New

Any Nordicist man in?

the new, where is it?

weird because turks own all the italian restaurants too. maybe the italians own all the french bakers and the french make all the tapas

how's he done that then?

I didn't like it but it was alright.

I did it again.

Boer filth scene order now. Furious Hispanic nonexistent order now..

No, thanks.