i want to hug bald eagles, edish
/brit/
right and how long exactly will this thread last?
putting on the traditional robes and preparing the masturbatorium for the wanking ceremony
hes getting fed the food why does he have to be so aggressive
no grace
just drank some apple juice then coughed
he is american
janny is usually sleeping at this stage racismlad gets away with wanton slaughter
brisket
When Britain first, at heaven's command,
Arose from out the azure main,
Arose arose from out the azure main,
This was the charter, the charter of the land,
And Guardian Angels sang this strain:
Rule, Britannia! Britannia, rule the waves!
Britons never, never, never will be slaves.
Rule, Britannia! Britannia, rule the waves!
Britons never, never, never will be slaves.
Still more majestic shalt thou rise,
More dreadful from each foreign stroke,
More dreadful, dreadful from each foreign stroke,
As the loud blast that tears the skies
Serves but to root thy native oak.
Rule, Britannia! Britannia, rule the waves!
Britons never, never, never will be slaves.
Rule, Britannia! Britannia, rule the waves!
Britons never, never, never will be slaves.
Thee haughty tyrants ne'er shall tame;
All their attempts to bend thee down
All their, all their attempts to bend thee down
Will but arouse, arouse thy generous flame,
But work their woe and thy renown.
Rule, Britannia! Britannia, rule the waves!
Britons never, never, never will be slaves.
Rule, Britannia! Britannia, rule the waves!
Britons never, never, never will be slaves.
The Muses, with freedom found,
Shall to thy happy coasts repair.
Shall to thy happy, happy coasts repair.
Blest isle! with matchless,
with matchless beauty crowned,
And manly hearts to guard the fair.
Rule, Britannia! Britannia, rule the waves!
Britons never, never, never will be slaves.
Rule, Britannia! Britannia, rule the waves!
Britons never, never, never will be slaves.
t. Pope Bob
crikey look at that
erm
morning dee lads x
I have just seen a picture of a fanny
Off to the lab to make a new workout routine x
any deeply romantic man trapped in a hideous awkward body
only a week left of toil before my holiday
gas man coming today to inspect boilerberg for its bi-annual safety inspection
supposed to receive a call arranging either a morning or afternoon appointment but of course no call transpired so they could appear any time, thus ruining my entire day
I get movies in my mind.
Love to berry my face in that minge
*shoots you*
it's raining x
i just tell them i wont be home and to let themselves in. They show up with the landlord though so i know who to blame if anything were to go missing
Nothing ever happens
got to go to toil now...
Learned helplessness
Expropriation of knowledge and ability
From king of the skies, to a prole
Lynn and Vanhanen (2006) estimated that the average IQ of the Irish population to be 92, which is noticeably lower than the rest of northern and western Europe.
Woah lads how did this happen? That's nog tier IQ. Do they not have schools in Ireland?
sex bomb sex bomb, you're my sex bomb
He connected the dots, idk.
Don't see any reason to hate the Turks. Seem like a solid bunch
You can't, you know.
out of toilet paper and poo is brewing
What?
the irish are the niggly nogs of western europe
How many steps?
SHINZOU WO SASAGEYO
i.4cdn.org
incoherent wogs everywhere you go irl
incoherent wogs on /brit/
cant escape it can you
Magic sword in the air
gay man coming today to inspect bussyberg for its bi-sexual safety inspection
got 2 bags dropped off lets goooo
the cyber Ganges
Ok.
Hope it's Ajax drain cleaner and your eyes roll back in your head and all bubbles come out of your mouth and you die
what does /brit/ think of my new shoes
poignant
hope you've not been typing that one up this entire time lad
bag of chips?
it's not
destroy everything that exists
alri the jewish race
have an appointment at half 10
Wake up every 10 minutes from 7am onwards
Hate this
Mad how the west has zero idea of what the fuck happened in kashmir over the last week because on both sides even their governments and news media are demented with zero grip on reality
He is not good anyway
Back up to 101kg this morning lads fml
'member when games had easter eggs
none of that allowed nowadays, due to woke of course
KCD2 had easter eggs
Who ate all the pies?
have to call them non-denominational religious celebration eggs these days
i didnt play that so it doesnt count
leaks suggest gta6 will be the first game to feature ramadan eggs throughought the map
intermittent fasting and keto diet, lad. it'll save your life. i lost 18 kilos in 3 months
holiday ovums
when you play as jason in gta 6, all nonwhite NPCs are immune
First two words!
Dude trust me just poison your body and suck all the joy out of your life by regimentalising it
gta 6 will cost $100 USD and run at 30 fps
typing poo shops in google maps search
You did, clearly
*jiggles your belly*
XD
No my post backfired
its taking me every ounce of willpower i have to not go on a cheeky maccas run right now
gta 6 will cost $100 USD
not a problem since people will play the online for a decade
Right let's stop beating around the bush and just admit those lindor chocolate balls aren't very good, nor luxurious. No more fannying about playing games.
succumbing to my carnal desires
boycotting gta 6 because of rockstar's anti-consumer release strategy and the fact they've made the same game for decades
are you out of your fucking mind
May or may not get tested before my next whoring session
The chocolate bars are good but those things are average at best. You don't like it? There's the door sunshine I say what I like and I like what I bloody well say.
Fuckers melt at room temperature and they don't taste of anything in particular
But if you put one in front of me right now okay I will eat it
At the end of the episode there was this last move to kill the enemy
trying to work up to that weight myself. 89kg on the scale this morning
Rorke boycotting GTA 6 because one of the playable characters is female
Yeah alri Jack Sprat
Is it going to happen again?
Rorke boycotting friendships because only "normies" have friends
rorke getting stuck at the bleak falls barrow puzzle
why was that lads arse hole so wet
thick ropes
replacing the tip of my penis with a metal bearing ball so i can roll around on the tip of my penis
zesty white boy + sassy black girl friend combo. Something you dont see much of these days
How do Americans react when they find out the cry of a bald eagle are actually that of a Red Tailed Hawk.
Makes you think that yanks have to digitally change the cry of their national animal and make it sound more majestic than it is
they do little whistle sounds
Bricks it is
May join in on this "Rorke" character haha what a fun exercise!
"Rorke the kind of guy to forget his Clubcard at Tesco and pay full price"
what fun this is!
Ireland, please.
your national animal is fictional or not native to your island
wanking my cock clean off
some fat disgusting wilder beast in a transit just cut me off no indicators
Raging I am
unicorns live in the highlands of scotland but they only show themselves to the pure of heart
really mate? on a monday morning?
I think I am immune to road rage. When stuff like this happens I just exhale a small puff of air then resume normal defensive driving.
Good gimmick
just don't like them
aryan behavior
they say that in hell there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth
well, someone tell my wife she's not in hell yet!
I just got in front of her and went really slow whilst flicking my indicators from left to right constantly hoping she got the message
'British couple', 78 and 58, are killed when Ferrari 488 careers off road into a river during rally through Spanish mountain highway
papa papa oscar
standard of driving in this country is in the shitter most mother fuckers on the road have never heard of LANE DISCIPLINE
Spain crashed his wheelchair?
leftypol fuming starmer is closing the ports and not letting rasheed and his pals in anymore
youtube.com
Why is Russia sooooooo uncaring to human life?
no one seems to bother indicating these days.
alcohol soul rot
make some noise cmon then
78 and 58
Gran Tour indeed
Yeah.
the films
What’s this?
It's a cap at this point
I was flipping bricks for Mansa Musa before y'all even became a type I civilization
Ok, I give up.
if i met you on the street it'd be the end of you
Haha
Basically there was a small russian town called lultin during ussr times
After russia came capitalist, they realised lultin wasn’t making the line go up and ordered it to be shut down
People didn’t want to leave (obviously) even with incentives of housing/stipends in other regions
So the government just shut off the gas, water and heating so people were forced to move
The people that couldn’t move literally just died there in the winter, you can see the cold corpses of some in the video
Also, the part about having a place to go elsewhere turned out to be bullshit and most of the people that left became homeless
russia is a hard, honorary thirdie country
gn
Will Net Zero kill off British curry houses? Bosses say Ed Miliband's plans are a 'death warrant' and would force them to shut up shop
my life everyday
eye test coming up and will need to pick new glasses as I've had mine for like 4 years now
thoughts on these? top shagger material imo
Nothing matches the descriptions but Irish.
lol speccy gimp
they look good
got the hugo boss tortoiseshells myself
gas man has arrived for the boiler inspection
there was indeed no call ahead to let me know it would be at this time
WFH is code for Unemployed
used to go to school with £4 for lunch and would always leave with nearly £10
was absolute goated at this game lads, did anyone else play in secondary?
you've just been scouted for a burglary pal.
just get some klark kent ones
went to boarding school me
was absolute goated
kill yourself you horrible cunt
alri tarquin
I am Irish.
it was a state boarding school but ok
1st post that has made me laugh from you now fuck off
What?
That's the gas man away already, took no time at all. That's me for another 10 months he says.
Can assure you he will have assessed my gaff as not worth the effort due to my extreme poverty.
What's your biggest regret in life, lads?
noise if you want some bass
no ragrets me
Fucking about at school instead of learning
too many to mention
probably studying English Literature at uni was the biggest fuck up
spunked £200k inheritance on weed and porn
i didn't learn more skills from my dad, a master mechanic
many such cases in the lower classes
your parents clearly failed you
Nah my mum tried her best I just had a lot of bad influences
I heard he was a master baiter
Signed on the dole and got a fucking jobsworth work coach. Lad's making me apply to 10-15 jobs per day or I don't get paid. May as well just get a fucking job at this point.
Should have just asked the girl out when i was 15, but pussied out last second.
Thing is, i knew she'd say yes as well, but i just panicked
Based hahaha, would shake that man’s hand if I could. All lazy dossers need this treatment
bet they don't make pakis jump through these hoops
per day?
lol pwnd
May as well just get a fucking job at this point.
Yeah that's the point mate, he's not there to enable you to be a lazy fucking scrounger for the rest of your life.
there's not enough kobs around here that i could do that
dont most graduates apply for over 100 jobs to get one anyway
should’ve gone into trade earlier, much earlier
If my name was Adiwala Alibimbong he wouldn't even schedule meetings and would just let me sit on my arse getting paid triple the amount of normal UC
Thank god my work coach is a soft touch. She basically just chats with me about life when I pop in and sometimes doesn’t even ask me if I’ve applied for anything. Does most of my appointments over the phone as well.
pakis either work or sell drugs.
bongs are far more entitled than pakis, and also more likely to get addicted to drugs or alcohol and end up on the street whilst they blame pakis and immigrants for their plight. ive lived in england many years and seen this bullshit all the time
May as well just get a fucking job at this point.
clue gained
Used to have one like this, but she left to greener pastures unfortunately. We even went for lunch once lol
change your name to that then
waaaaa waaaaaa
Should never have gone to uni. Complete waste of time, caused arrested development, heartache and made me unemployable.
Source?
So it’s working as it should? What’s your problem? You’re obviously not disabled or anything
benny wranglers are all bark and no bite lad
your contract thing I forget what its called is the only thing that matters. I would only "apply" (not actually apply haha I'd just ctrl-c and ctrl-v the names of random jobs and post them in my journal) for 1 job a day and get by just fine, ofc the work coach would tell me to apply for more but I'd just say "I cant mate theres just no jobs :)"
yeah reckon islams got something to do with that
bongs are far more entitled than pakis
they should be, it's their country
Got a spastic brain innit
I used to do this too
Just look at job listings on the morning of the appoimntment and write down some random names
Nothing ever got followed up
My uncle has literally been radicalised by tiktok and facebook and other shit like that.
Used to be a normal bloke who was only interested in football, now whenever we talk he tells me that the wogs in asylum hotels are actually sleeper agents/soldiers and they are awaiting “activation” at which point they’re going to rise up and kill us all (or something).
I pointed out all the flaws in this supposed plan but he doesn’t care.
He also constantly argues with people on the towns local Facebook page and tries to bring national politics and conspiracy theories into the boring shit local councillors are doing, so cringe that he has my surname
This one's a proper jobsworth who was personally informing me of 40-50 jobs over the phone during the work coach meeting. I think you're underestimating just how jobsworth this fucker is.
he is the sleeper agent and he doesn't even know
Sounds like he was radicalised by reality
well get a job then like the rest of us and you wont have to worry about it
course you fucking do
yeah they’re the junkie cunts shitting up the town squares and shop doorways. if England were 95% white they’d still be doing the same shit because they’re useless impotent cunts looking for a handout
course you fucking do
whats that supposed to mean? it literally is you mong
but it's still darkies shitting up the place
you're not gonna win this one rasheed
covering my skin with millions of tiny metal bearing balls so i can roll around
Tell the cunt to post any job he thinks your suitable for in your UC journal then "apply" for it. Sometimes the sneaky cunts actually make you apply by making you send your CV off to [email protected] or a council email so you actually have to apply, but I usually just change my contact details on those ones so they cant contact me back and It looks like I actually did.
Don't want one. Don't like interacting with people. You give me any job out there that isn't a delivery driver, that doesn't deal with phones or customers and I'll be all over it. But none exist.
never been a dole scum myself so not sure about this but can't you just lie about the jobs you applied for and say that you did anyway? seems like a simple solution
yh yh mate keep blaming islam
youve got nothing lol. can’t educate any of yous cause you’re stuck permanently in the victim mindset
key logger
fair enough just live off the good will of your disapointed parents instead then
if you didnt know alcohol and stuff like that is haram in islam which means you should not have it.
I think I’ve been lucky with jobcentre coaches compared to you lads. When I first signed on like 8 years ago I kind of had a breakdown in the jobcentre and started crying in front of the woman doing my appointment and told her I was thinking about killing myself (which was true at the time) and I think they panicked and put me in a different category because I only have to have a call with them every few months and they never ask me to look for work.
They even referred me to citizens advice who helped me apply for PIP. I get a pretty decent amount of money now for doing nothing and I feel kind of guilty about it, especially knowing other lads have to suffer for their bennies.
you like islam, brucie?
Yeah
Do you think the jobcentre is ringing tescos and asking if rorke really did apply?
brucey got my bedtime kino ready x
When I first signed on like 8 years ago I kind of had a breakdown in the jobcentre and started crying in front of the woman doing my appointment and told her I was thinking about killing myself
Might have a quick cum, just to clear my mind
so whats this lad complaining about then just say you applied for 10 random jobs on indeed and enjoy your free money while you spend the rest of the day wanking and playing video games
Jammy bastard x
i know im spending time with the dregs of society on here but its mad seeing just how many of you actually are like dropkick Anon Babble neet freaks
Yeah I was in a dark place at the time and it makes me cringe to think about but it seems like it’s given me an easy life for the last 8 years so I guess it was worth it?
yeah, a lot things are haram but they still partake. they love weed and crack for example
not from a collective standpoint no
Sometimes they make you sign up to the recruitment agency that does all the public services and then they know if you're lying
Do you have to do go the job centre straight away for JSA
Seems like a bit of a faff if you come out of a long-term role and just need a couple of months stop-gap to help make ends meet
the lion accepts the receding hairline with dignity
Seems like a bit of a faff if you come out of a long-term role and just need a couple of months stop-gap to help make ends meet
That's what savings are for mate.
he's a newbie and not a long time scrounger so doesn't know the game
He fails to realise the person he's so scared of is a minimum wage toil freak monkey who holds no power. The person who holds the person is the big boss sanction man who you get referred to if you break your contract thingy, its shit like "I will look for jobs on Indeed" "I will do X etc.. etc... You will never get in a trouble if you do the bare minimum, all the dole wrangler does is threaten you because they get a slight raise if they meet targets.
there's pills for it now
if you want your state pension for the year then yeah you have to jump through their hoops
everyone smokes weed. they dont love crack they just have some addicts like all demographics. followers of islam are less likely than white people to be addicted to drugs and alcohol because their religion forbids it.
coward's way out
no one has to know
The whole web this time.
That's what savings are for mate.
Yeah, and? Doesn't mean a few hundred quid a month wouldn't be welcome, I've been paying NI for years, that's what it's for
but i always will
just calculated that my morning joy rides before work are adding 1,600 miles on my car every month fuck sake not allowed any fun in my life I swear
Speaking of jobs. What's a good boring job I can do? I can't be arsed dealing with customers anymore. Just want to toil away in a warehouse or something.
that's about 50 miles a day. bit gay that
night shift security
Erm perhaps cleaning
bin man
*titty bounces you off of a cliff*
Nah it’s before and after work 40 miles each time usually
freak
How
How does a degree make you unemployable. Just don't mention it in a job application if you want.
giving chatgpt a cock so i can suck it
Moved the incelwashing of my car to tomorrow, enjoying the vibes in the sun today wearing natural materials only
hello mallardmong
its 11am on a working day
How?
It's the arrested development that made me unemployable. Instead of learning how to work, you get taught how to pass exams and if you don't land a graduate job immediately out of uni, you're done.
ESPADRILLES AND A LINEN SUIT
ESPADRILLES AND A LINEN SUIT
Shut your bloody fucking mouth
how do you do the no sock look when wearing linen suit with shoes in a hot place. its looks bent
going to grans for dinner later
gonna walk it for 7 miles total, get some sun on my skin. Got to enjoy the nice weather so you do.
its looks bent
That's just your crippling lack of self confidence talking.
does not look bent
You were conquered by brown people
its looks bent
it's you
vaguely remember reading a short story back in school featuring a sinister man in a white linen suit who made a wager with the protagonist and if the latter lost the wager he had to cut off his finger in a cigar cutter or something like that
I may be misremembering but I have a vague notion such a story exists.
what’s the shortest shorts you’d wear lads? hate freaks who wear shorts below their knees
Applying for a job in the dole at a higher rank than jobsworth work coach. gonna make him regret his ill deeds.
you got a job, he won
is this how french men go about town
got a problem ese?
yea, what about it?
bent as a nine bob note
this is for la raza
Not after I get him sacked with a long con plan to pull him into a false sense of security so he starts doing unprofessional off-colour jokes with me, only for me to report him for them.
I'm unemployed and live at home
this is me
you're not getting a HEO job fresh off the dole lad
ktim
reckon you'd actually get bummed and murdered if you wore that in the north
I'm overqualified for it. Watch me.
um
um
poo