espadrilles edition
/brit/
a kitkat she wanted
apparently you’re a freak if you drive your car now
i love wanking to cum tribs, i'm not gay tho
modest and elegant, the espadrille is the gentleman's summer footwear
ktim
forgot it was wednesday today
gonna cry freakboy? maybe go for a little spin in your motor as you rock back and forth?
leftypols hymn sheet
Chicken bum
dont know hwat espadrales are but tha tlooks like a crap version. like a sketchers esparal. or george by asda
So where do you buy your natural linens and espadrilles?
I hate hot days.
Less energy, always tired, drinking constantly, sun in my face, harder to drive, burnt face.
But we're supposed to love it because......?
ur mum and nan make them for me
GRIMES DOESN'T LOVE YOU
*clap-clap, clap clap-clap*
you are a gay man.
I asked you twice to explain how it makes me a freak but you can’t
What disability does this guy have? Something relating to his back I guess? Does he know you can work from home now?
Diegos espadrilles, authentic made in Spain and not expensive
because the browns and blacks like it, rorke
Been set up for long-term failure by my circumstances. Every job I've ever had has lasted a year or less and been absolutely nothing but dossing about, sitting on my phone or listening to music while doing something monotonous and non-transferable. Now the only jobs I want are ones where I can doss about not really doing anything day to day, which simply isn't an option in 99.99% of jobs.
What about people with severe anxiety and depression who cannot leave the house? This is disgraceful. The stress they are causing. People will die because of this. It happened in 2012. Evil
isnt it illegal to post on /brit/ whilst in control of a motor vehicle?
rorke loves hot weather you dipshit
have you done your bender drills today?
Always a nasty shock when I have to go from sending two emails a day to actual graft
crying into his steering wheel
get the window wipers turned on for your tears car freak
I’m not in the car? Why can’t you answer my question
Giz that two emails a day job lad
What about people with severe anxiety and depression who cannot leave the house
If you can't leave the house due to "anxiety" you deserve to be sterilised and put down imo.
Zero net worth to society.
Shan't
wearing my new dress from matalan
There's a fella in Japan who makes his living being hired to just be near people. Sometimes a cafe hires him to look more full, sometimes pople hire him so they don't look lonely going to a restaurant alone. He makes a living like this, just hanging about in near complete silence.
you seem a bit worked up. reckon a joyride would sort you out
might cop some lowkey do they slip off your feet tho
Get a job get off your asses
Paki hotels need your taxes
Might take pictures of them today
Rorke putting off looking for a girlfriend so he can write online about how he wants to have people "sterilised and put down"
this nigga driving lol. what a freak
based, If I go to Japan I'll hire him
thought it was a chinese thing, hiring whites to hang about to appear international
So angry for no reason at all
No they're actually very snug, desu when you get a new pair they might be a bit tight but they soon loosen up.
bit like your mums arse
this guy is a joke right?
qrd on the driving discourse?
I WANT TO BE A WOMAN I WANT TO BE A WOMAN I WANT TO BE A WOMAN!
reckons its because youre not behind the wheel
More of a sandal wearer but can't get the confidence to wear them in public
buy some crocs lad
scared your pip is going to be taken away incel? i'd be shitting myself, not long now til your mother dies and nobody will be around to take care of you.
Mumberg reckons I need to be kinder to people, I say FUCK the mandem
Na this lad gets hired just to be a body, in all sorts of weird scenarios. Like one woman wanted to go try a famous kids meal somewhere but was embarrassed at the idea of showing up alone and ordering a kids meal, so she hired him to come to. Another hired him for the day to wave at them from the train platform as they left to another city for good because they wanted that experience of friends waving you off. Another hired him to be a stand-in for her husband who'd killed himself and she got all her grief off her chest by talking through her pain with him. Mental shit.
"what time should we leave to get the bus, anon?"
"Oh I thought I would drive us there in my car"
decided im not going to go for runs anymore because i despise every single second of it when im out there and people are probably laughing at me
just going to go for long walks instead
mad that lad posted his arsehole
Yeah exactly
Severe adhd and a cum stained gaming chair
Severe adhd and a cum stained gaming chair
This but unironically. Get a move on if you haven't.
caberge
just copped some linen espadrilles
thinking back at the time when i worked in retail as a young lad. i would fart constantly so a poopy odor would follow me around. i did this so customers would leave me alone and wouldn't ask me questions and help so i could focus on my job.
it worked everytime.
love a hike, me
Haha yeah what am I like. I was 6 cans and half a bottle of wine deep!
you will always despise it if you dont push past this point.
would do anything to return to a pre-mass-migration Britain lads
Always gets me
may i see it again?
what is he doing right now?
Gents. Guardian journalist Nathan here.
As a bunch of racists, does Starmer's announcements this morning make you more inclined to vote Labour, or are you still all in on Reform?
I'm not on PIP, incel
Catberg
whats a non-bent esperdrills alternative
Another hired him to be a stand-in for her husband who'd killed himself and she got all her grief off her chest by talking through her pain with him
i don't feel like laughing at the wacky japanese anymore
shagging your maw you little freak
right well when am i supposed to start enjoying it because ive been doing it over a year now?
dumb frogposter
all you cunts do is doss about and talk poppycock
Might post my arse hole in gaygen and they'll be like "ew you don't have a perfectly formed pretty ring piece I would slobber all over" haha
are you really fat
Neither. The only place I can find love is from women abroad, and they're always lovely people. This just makes it even harder for me and I'm more likely to stay an incel. I know some women currently studying and maximising their time trying to stay longer for residency. It makes me annoyed that my government is forcing me to stay incel.
Rorke going to prison for hate crimes only to be cell mates with 3 extremely muscular black gentlemen
Is that meant to be a problem?
raping my arse with a gourd
had to take a photo of my arsehole for non homosexual reasons recently and it was a state not even the most feral bender would have go on it
:|
gf has sent me a list of stuff she wants for her birthday and its just expensive water bottles and those noncey crying baby dolls things women are in to at the minute
do you want to end up like him?
Now that the dust has settled, what was the downside of Brexit?
describe it
dolls?
ever shag her up the arse?
Yeah, watching gay porn makes you deluded about the fact vast majority of arse holes are absolutely disgusting. Especially mens.
all she really wants is a ring
noncey crying baby dolls things women are in to at the minute
wat
crying baby dolls things women are in to at the minute
sounds sinister
Fucked my arse will a dildo once. Unpleasant I'd say. But if I ever get raped I'd be prepared.
those noncey crying baby dolls things women are in to at the minute
baby annabelle was a thing like 25 years ago mate. nobody knows what the fuck you're on about here.
Imagine if our posts were leaked one day. I'd probably have to start a new life, after my prison sentence, of course.
For children and mental cases though, not for normal women
would collect and publish my posts with pride
never made a bad one
2 police cars and an ambulance at neighbour's right now. All came onto the street with blue lights and sirens blazing. Reckon someone's dropped dead
Whole world would be screaming at mine
i meant these things
popmart.com
wish it were you
Kannada entertainment industry mourns the loss of Rakesh Poojary, the Comedy Khiladigalu Season 3 winner, who tragically passed away from a heart attack at a mehndi ceremony in Udupi
'
Work at the job center
Just told some absolutely speccy virge to get me 10 jobs a day in his work diary
There'll be no wanking and watching telly all day, my son
no you don't
Does she play with that on her lunch break at school?
that can be done in 5 minutes
Vax status?
half the day done incels what have you achieved?
ChatGPT will smash them out in no time
;)
Just jelk me nigga
Absolutely nothing. I've been meaning to do a little online shopping for the summer; a few linen shirts, some shorts, a pair of espadrilles or too, unironically. I keep putting it off and posting here though.
got up
fed the dog
made luncheon
ate luncheon
posted here a bit
been a busy day so far, going to do a big cook later
3 hours of toil done. Gym hopefully within the next hour. 1/3 meals made and eaten.
Less than 2 months til the big 3-0 lads. Will be off my nut in 'beefer for a week, can't fucking wait
I don't think you're a Guardian journalist lad
STARMERS AFTER ME FUCKIN BENNIES
a pair of espadrilles or too
based
over 30s package holiday is it?
I've been avoiding gymtoil because of the heat and sleeping so poorly this week. It's staggering how important it is to maintain a good sleep schedule. I feel like shit for weeks and can't keep consistent with anything else because I just can't make myself go to bed early at a regular time.
Voting for SeasideMARK me
Cooked some steak and eggs, played a bit of guitar
i managed to remove a smelly spot from my neck
Did a quality check on someone's work. Ignored an email. Ate a sandwich. Finish in 2 hours.
I don't understand women's rebelliousness.
Most males grow out of trying to rebel and piss off their parents when they hit 15, but with women they're still hooked on it going into their 30s, sometimes even 40s.
Tattoos, septum piercings, promiscuity. Why are they always trying to piss off daddy?
Very odd behaviour.
shagged the missus
put a wash on
ate some scrambled eggs w/ chilli oil
altered some code, earning £120 for the morning's toil
about to scran lunch
never heard of espadrilles but they seem like a good shout for the 'mer
Come up with whatever excuses you like mate, it's only you who suffers at the end of the day. Those who want to make time do so.
do people still throw acid people to steal their phones?
have you asked your colleagues at the guardian?
you now remember gordon brown
alri lew
seems quite an incellish sentiment for a guardian journalist
Gonna have some lunch in 10 mins then off to gym
happened to me twice already this week
doctorberg recommends I consume bone broth
it's unironically the most expensive thing in the world
It's like a fiver for 500 ml at best and they say consume 300 ml per day.
So over 700 quid a year?
madness. MADNESS.
Not an excuse mate, my lifts are decent and above 1/2/3/4 but could be better
it's fucking May and barely over 20 degrees you fucking melt.
You've avoided the gym because you're a lazy mong
that makes his larp even more believable if anything
Most males grow out of trying to rebel and piss off their parents when they hit 15
The reason you believe this obvious nonsense is because you never leave your smelly bedroom
are you a 19th century urchin
always a mirth when the unfunny spastics forget to delete their gimmick name before making their routine dogshit posts
watching the BBC rn
'People' is quite a broad term only certain kinds do things like that
The Guardian encourages a diverse array of viewpoints
You'd know that if you bothered to read our articles rorke
Oh wait you're more of a Daily Sport reading level.
As you were.
your mum consumes my bone broth
is your doctor joe rogan
just do chicken broth and no one will be the wiser
do people call each other rorke in the guardian's offices?
EW shall be logging on shortly x
Sneering at the working class, maybe he really does work for the Guardian.
rorke, here are your chicken nuggets
acid people
Scared now, thanks.
how long to get to 1/2/3/4 lifting 3x a week
noncey crying baby dolls things women are in to at the minute
Sure you're not dating an 11 year old lad?
hopefully he logs off his life
sabrina xx
you can get bones from the butchers for pennies you lazy mong
or just road a chicken for food and make broth from the carcass
Make it yourself. It's really good for you, it is one of those things that is so nutritious and lindy you can literally feel the vril entering your body when you consume it. I get a buzz off a lovely swig of broth
1 week
listen bro
iraq and afghanistan were big mistakes bro, for both us and the locals. we shouldn't have even been there to begin with bro.
but let me tell you something. you know what we need to do? we really need to start a conflict with iran and yemen because... global trade or some shit.
why are they all like this? do they have no critical thinking capacity?
yer ma said ew when she saw my shortly
mad how his gf psyop'd him into thinking women are into crying nonce dolls. paedo gf
My day hasn't started because I don't start work until 2pm lad.
been lifting for 4 years and can't do this
oh
Not gay or nothing but he is fit
I have a thing for biological woman
same lol. closest i got was 55kg OHP
Have a gift
People try and stamp on it and put it down
east bound and down
sat here fat and shirtless in my incel smungeon picking my bellybutton and eating it
1. Iraq and Afghanistan were good, we killed like 300 towelheads for every man lost and now own the middle east.
2. Nobody wants war with Iran except a few demons, we already own their regime.
3. We should kill everyone in Yemen for a laugh
sabby c as i call her <3
and now own the middle east.
who's going to tell him?
wanking up my arse
Took me about 8 months of actual lifting at 17/18 years old but I'd been playing rugby for a long while before that so didn't start totally untrained.
Hardest for me was squatting and I'm still not a very good squatter, just not built for it. Best squat set was 200kg for 10 and I'm a (nearly, couldn't quite lock it out) 300kg deadlifter
I'm and it depends how consistent you are really. I'd say 2 or maybe 3 years is pretty doable. You could and should do it faster but I'm trying to be more realistic about most people's progress.
used to put glue on my fingers, let it dry and then peel it off and pretend i was peeling off skin
the benefits of toppling saddam to the US were clear but what did we gain?
do you not have friends to discuss this sort of irl stuff with
brit is ostensibly for poo wank slags crisps and so forth
Just looked up the cute Polish girl I was infatuated with in my first year at uni. She's gained loads of weight and now has a mullet. Harrowing development.
am eating my lunch lad
youtube.com
you own the middle east while afghan g's own the east side know what im saying dawg
18 months if you eat properly and properly progress each week
t. 1.5 / 3 / 3.5 / 4.5
I just hit a 170kg for 5 deadlift with a 95kg for 5 squat, grim
You could have saved her and now she is in her cursed timeline just like yourself
fuck off poleaboo
Saudis
ours
Qataris
ours
Turks
ours
Iran
Asks permission to send drones to crash in the desert
Afghanistan
our lads
Iraq
ours, will love us like the Vietnamese
Kurds
Ours
Grassroots radical muslims
Shoot up Ivan's theater or blows up an Ariana Grande concert when we give the word
I want my ex back
the african man’s treat
literally everybody i know that i've spoken about the us with has talked shit about them
the only person i know irl that is a fan of the us is a lebanese guy, meaning their only fans are browns
my lunch lad
bit gay that
your mum's only fans is full of browns lol
alri jewlad
I really do think the maximum shift should be 6 hours and we should only work 4 days a week maximum. There's no fucking living in life anymore.
for me it's waitrose unhomogenised milk
Call from the grave
just got accepted at aperture science after my job centre coach started throwing his weight around
that cow looks menacing "drink my milk OR ELSE"
you'd know eh
3 plate bench with a 200kg deadlift
Based dwarfmaxxer
What helped me was squatting in much higher rep ranges
You don't get the impending death feeling that high % squats can give you so you just focus on grinding reps out. Squat twice a week and alternate easyish sessions with max effort for 20 reps with a few back off sets of 10-12 at the same weigjt and drop the main set down to 6-8 reps over about 8 weeks
leftypol buying rice milk
is that a nerdy game reference that us shaggers won't understand
the system works!
M&S
What if I told you I saw it in Normandy?
Why are boomers so uptight about porn? The deputy commissioner of the police in NZ just got forced into resigning because he had some saved on his computer
Apparently wanking in your office means you aren't of good character despite no-one ever catching him in the act
Qatar's a bizarre one.
They're openly hosting the political wing of Hamas.
They're openly close with Iran.
And yet despite both of those being western enemies, we have somewhat cordial relations with them.
It's very strange.
Sweden's new national security adviser quit hours after taking up the role as sensitive pictures of him on the dating app Grindr were sent anonymously to the government.
I pretty much just do deadlift 1x5s once or twice a week and try to do squat 3x5s twice or three times per week but it leaves me feeling dead constantly, I'm not even convinced I'm making good progress, just feels like I'm trying harder
what kind of mong gets to deputy commissioner and saves porn on his work computer
JAPAN
stuck at toil waiting for a call. Should be in the gym rn lads
feel weird when i think about my bones moving about and sliding on each other in their joints when im moving
Especially when you have a smartphone on a separate network you can use if you really want to crack one out at work
Absolute mongoloid
have you ever put your ear right next to your knees and then moved your knee up and down? and you can hear it squeaking
What's with influx of leftypol cunts into /brit/ recently?
might go strokestown
Anon Babble has always been leftypol you chud freak
can tell diego's about because every post has a little snarky reply
None of this is true other that maybe the Kurds out of desperation
Before agriculture, sexual relations were promiscuous and paternity was not a concern, a dynamic similar to the mating system of bonobos, our most closely related primate.
mental how i'm making 500 quid a day from dropshipping ontop of my usual job.
life actually rewards hard work if you put it in the right places.
I love this top sooo much
bonobos, our most closely related primate.
thought it was the blacks haha
Hubba hubba!
loving the self harm scars love xx
why do you put so much effort into this shit man seriously
woke up about an hour ago and been laying in bed on my phone since
Me too ;^)
Scratched tummy
Employed Woman's pheromones
the whole of ireland is in mourning
one million euros already raised on gofundme
Juzt sat on a bollcok
Just bought a 20kg bag of birdseed online
I reckon even if I'm precise with it I'll still be spending about £35 a month or £420 a year feeding pigeons
That's not even including the family of ducks I've started feeding duck food
Decolonize open water swimming
birdmong sure loves his birds
will go rotten before you get through that amount
I want it to be known that they were trying to grab a football from the water that is, by FAR, the safest part of that beach.
So, where are you getting your linen shirts from?
Does Starmer realize that Obama/Biden already went turbochud on deportations and got absolutely no credit from rorke for it
Got a job interview on Wednesday to stack the shelf at Tesco. Don't know what needs to be said really other than that I'm able bodied and don't have a criminal record.
going outside to get blasted with radiation
able bodied and don't have a criminal record.
you're in
Last time I worked at Tesco they did a group interview where you had to work in little teams and do some spastic exercises.
Obama didn’t deport, Trump is deporting.
Obama just turned away people from the border.
tried to look at porn on my work laptop when steaming in a hotel room on work related travel
message came up on screen about my unacceptable use but it was never flagged
often worry bossberg has that up his sleeve for me
like a true scientist moist and sweet
Nah i reckon it'll take 22 days to go through, if kept closed I'm sure it'll be fine
I'm feeding about 30 a day several times a day
Need an Emma Watson gf to fart during sex and make me super hard.
stabbing my bollocks with a bic pen
Get the natural materials on
slicing my japseye with a razor
I applied to an Aldi job once and it was an absolute ordeal in the application form, they didn't just want my CV and maybe a cover letter but they wanted to know how passionate I was about working at the till and how amazing Aldi is and how much I dreamed of working for there as a young boy etc. Obviously didn't take the piss with it but I really struggled with having anything to write and ultimately I didn't get the job.
So assuming it was the same for you then congrats on getting an interview
He deported 3 million people, more than any president in history
Didn't involve enough industrial-scale homoerotic S&M in El Salvador for rorke's liking though
Lucky bugger I got turned down from Tesco during the COVID days.
get the oxygen inhaled
Get the Emma Watson farts sniffed
um
You'll be asked to tell them about yourself, and then they'll pretend they have shitloads of applicants and ask you why you feel you should be the one picked. They'll then ask you on the spot, so be prepared for this, which hours of the week you're prepared to work, with a chart of seven days and 24 blocks each for each hour. They'll say 'don't worry these won't be your hours! Just periods of time you'd be able to work so we can see which shifts fit in these for you'. Be very careful here because what you're actually revealing are which hours you have no excuse for not doing overtime in. Also be aware that constant overtime with no holiday reward and inconsistent shifts and evening Monday into morning Tuesday shifts are all part of the hellscape job that is retail and if you say no too often (or at all during your first few months) you will be fired. Also expect to he trained in 'multi-skilling', basically meaning you are expected to drop what you're doing and run to the tills during 'red calls to checkouts'.
It's a traditional shoe whose sole is made with a fiber from esparto grass. Quite comfy for hot summers, more elegant that walking on flip-flops wearing socks. The only thing wrong with them is the lack of shock absorption if you're overweight.
Not a word
It wasn't for you it was completely earnest advice for the job interview lad.
I order free cat food online and use it to feed neighbourhood cats. I started doing this because of this one cat I've known for years who is always outside and is friendly to everyone who passes it and so I thought it deserves treats.
It now has a younger sibling it hangs out with. I'm feeding this smaller cat as well.