Heatheryank's American McMansion edition
/brit/
tfw no 3pm wank on the cards today
Britain will never be free until the last Motability car is smashed with the bricks of the last council house
I'm literally watching porn right now and gooning. IDGAF breh. :^)
My friends older brother was driving down the motorway (UK highway) one night many years ago when he suddenly felt and heard and a huge bang. He thought his engine had blown up but when he looked to his left there was half a woman sat in his passenger seat. Turns out she’d got out of her car after arguing with her partner, walked across a dual carriageway and this guy hit her. Happened so quickly he didn’t even realise until half of her was in his car.
get that sweaty goon scented chocolate biscuit fested t shirt off and into the laundry basket rorke breh
youtube.com
Yeahhh party rock
were just gonna straight up rape you rorke
don't threaten me with a good time
career change at 57 years old
bizarre behaviour
grim
How do I get a 18 year old gf
GoonRock starred in that song I believe.
um
why you nigga cunts always so catty and judgemental grow up
i'm 190
you're now imagining yourself slowly penetrating rorkes pooey greasy hairy spotty haemmeroidy gooey arsehole
Carry on, my wayward son
kg
nigga cunts
is that really appropriate?
imagine if I was a POC. bet you'd feel guilty then.
lucky for you I'm a white man.
carry on my gayward bum
there'll be pee when you are cum
lay your queery head to rest
don't ya shite no more
might move to rural Indonesia and teach English to school girls
why would muslims let a filthy infidel around their daughters?
particularly a filthy white kafir like you
The UK implemented car doors as a safety measure shortly thereafter.
Young, tight, moist
right well somehow I’ve put on 10 pounds in about a month
In the words of Colin Farrell:
But you are black and you are a cunt... Those are the facts. I don't think [he] cares what race you run in. He didn't say black people were cunts... He was being specific to you. One has nothing to do with the other. And I'd go a step further and say it was a term of affection.
why do i keep getting banned from reddit
go to uni
Be 22
You should not do that, even if it's muscle. If it's fat, It's going to take you 5-10 weeks to take that off. If it's not, you're going to give yourself heart failure.
I wondered why the floor was shaking
much to think about
frying off some green beans
that's not terribly impressive
you ought to consider getting a better job
Oh stop fearmongering its no big deal
steam them and add butter
never listened to that black and tans song before, what a fucking tune
i'm frying them in oil then adding butter
wanking my cock to utter smithereens
my feet are sweaty as
yes i am a cuck i like when people fuck on my bitch
What’s mikey doing right now?
just purchased some paints for my gay little models
sat on my nobby
accidentally called my mum rorke ffs
What’s Emmett doing right now?
i could lose 10 lbs in 2 weeks if i really wanted to
Bloody hell mate
need to bin virgin media its so shit i cant play my video games because my connection is poo
please join a union
boiling a spoonful of vegemite with a lighter and injecting it like heroin
mcdonnell you dirty old dog
got 640 pounds in my wallet
Warm weather always make me horny as fuck.
COME OUT YE BLACK AND TANS COME OUT AND FIGHT ME LIKE A MAN
SHOW YOUR WIFE HOW YOU WON MEDALS DOWN IN FLANDERS
TELL HER HOW THE IRA MADE YOU RUN THE HELL AWAY
FROM THE GREEN AND LOVELY LANES OF KILLASHANDRA
fuxking COME ON
Thinking about tonight’s gravy
Can you repeat yourself bro I’m off a gummy multivitamin
we're trying to have a teams meeting you fool
on the peach iced tea
opened my wallet the other day when it was really windy and it blew all my money away
had to survive the week from jam made with berries i picked on my nature walks and tap water
vegan alternatives to butter?
inventing a contraption of sorts
Bentley spotted
will be drinking tonight
will be drinking tomorrow night
i'm off toil all next week
its my birthday you see
in the bath looking at my comically small willy and bollocks and screaming
Hi there. Your comment to r/ireland has been removed by the Automoderator:
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Why can't we have an English parliament lads?
bit depressed might do a cheeky suicide
my arsehole hurts, too much sitting in plastic chairs
happy birthday sir
wailing and wanking
thanks pal
bit racist innit
love england
love ireland
simple as
Im addicted to BWC (big white chebs)
smegs benedict
um
*flies away*
um this is a virus
wanking and crying
post arse
Nice German car that is (Bentley is owned by Volkswagen and Bentleys are made with Volkswagen parts)
my personal ranking of midwest states:
1. indiana
2. illinois
3. iowa
4. kansas
5. michigan
6. minnesota
7. missouri
8. nebraska
9. north dakota
10. ohio
11. south dakota
12. wisconsin
love dustin hoffman i can't lie
in the future all music and movies will be produced with ai, humans are basically going to be irrelevant in the arts
he's white so I don't care probably had a good reason
for fucks sake rorke its a sunnt saturday
the arts
all woke and pozzed anyway
fucking SEX
*enters thread*
In the name of the Father, and of the Son,
and of the Holy Spirit.
Amen.
The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ,
and the love of God,
and the communion of the Holy Spirit
be with you all. Or:
Grace to you and peace from God our
Father
and the Lord Jesus Christ. Or:
The Lord be with you.
And with your spirit.
Kyrie, eleison.
Kyrie, eleison.
Kyrie, eleison.
Christe, eleison.
Christe, eleison.
Christe, eleison.
cannot stop watching gay porn (not even gay me)
in the 80s musicians were mad at synths/electronic music because 'omg you're not PLAYING the notes like i had to learn it's le bad' but normies didn't care because it doesn't matter. if people can use ai to make better music and films then all the better
mikey sampling Vera Lynn for his VE Day rap
mad how nice early kendra sunderland looks slurping down on an ebony soul pole
shame she ruined herself with the jew ink
*high pitched screeching paki voice*
oh my days rorke!!
"Victory over europe"
Yes victory over the white race and 2000+ years of European civilization
ah yes a racist who loves interracial
how contrived
Not him it's only hot because Kendra has gone on record talking about how she finds black guys hot
Don't care for the average bint fucking black guys desu
paki woman patrolling the thread this VE day lmfao
just remembered how bad the last two arctic monkeys albums were
yes i am a cuck i like when niggas fuck on my bitch
mardy bum on repeat since 2006
what more do you need
leftypol forcing himself to watch the rest of The Last Of Us
lil zoomerbro jumping up and down on his computer chair shouting W based when his favourite black hip hop artist releases a new song
Anyone:
Rorke
39-year-old unmarried male sat in his childhood bedroom:
*whips his balding head around*
giant titted women in and around my mouth
it been over for tits since 2016
at what point can you call this a mental illness?
Not him
Yeah this doesn't ever work btw
another 22yo zoomerslut getting a breast reduction and BBL
had sex with a tranny once and came just from rubbing my cock all over her balls when she was bent over in front of me but I'm basically straight as I haven't done anything else that was gay or gay-adjacent in my life
shagging women isn't gay mate
today in nothing ever happens
how unc popped his cherry
paid for sex with a tranny escort once and kinda got raped
straight now though
um
would love to shag natalie mars up the battyhole
i love having Common Sense and Great Intelligence
too shitting hot in the flat already
going to die in here its too HOT
i'm a bit chilly
got me hoodie on and a blanket
Losing your job over an affair is retard shit
wait until you hear what non-officers lose their military jobs for
love living in a north facing ground floor flat. always cold, never hot. even when it was 40c in 2022. barely noticed just closed the windows
at least it was a woman
girls with braces
cannot WAIT for my air con unit to arrive to quell the sunberg menace
Can’t be done in the military Rorke. You’d know that if you’d ever had a job.
would love to gish her nostrils a bloody good tongue lashing
Wouldn't have happened in the old days
First Sea Lord Alan West fucked the brunette lass from ABBA
Two months ago, Sir Ben railed against inappropriate relationships within the military during a parliamentary defence select committee discussing women in the Armed Forces.
Sir Ben said: “We are absolutely determined to create a Royal Navy in which people are judged for their professional conduct, welcomed for the contribution that they make, and accepted for who they are. Behaviours that run counter to that will not be accepted, and particularly those around unwelcome sexual behaviours.”
He added: “We have removed people from the service, including those who have commanded, where we have discovered that their behaviours were not appropriate, or we have removed people from positions of responsibility before situations have got out of hand.”
nvm disregard
he said he was against this stuff while doing it himself
Saw a girl at the gym, she asked if she could do deadlifts where I was doing hanging leg raises, said yes go for it. Spent the rest of the session thinking about her and wondering what she's like. I doubt I'll ever see her again.
i haven't do anything gay except shag a fella wearing a make up
ah yes
Clarkson replaces Kaleb Cooper with a 24-year-old nurse
Harriet Cowan is newest recruit on Clarkson’s Farm after former Top Gear presenter was ‘left in the lurch’
just rubbed my balls and gooch and my taint grease is potent
like 20 year old aged vinegar in this heat
Rorke playing with his toy boats in the bath and naming himself First Sea Lord
Sure, but when you're a literal admiral handling confidential information, you can't be doing shit like that.
What does a ballbag feel like on your cock? Asking for a friend
you are not allowed to have relationships with your subordinates
*has relationship with subordinate*
yo wtf why am I sacked this is so unfair
grow up mate
um
would need a saturn v rocket of a BBC to get past the outer rings and gravitational fields of that
kaleb was a fat retard and I'm glad he got replaced with a qt
coming up to 4PM time to take my megaphone and head down the shops to preach that people should repent
can I borrow your megaphone I need to scream "sexo" at a specific post
contrarian child, grow up you do this with literally everything.
she kinda looks like the blondie presenter from the united stand
would like to see them both blacked raw as a sidenote
qt
she's a generic looking chavette
altho it might feel nice to be in a nightclub and rub your bare erect cock against a girl's tummy it is morally suspect and means bad things could happen to you
just a warning for everyone
Kaleb's become a star in his own right and he's too busy to do the show now. He can pay the new slag peanuts.
wouldn't say no to a cheeky cheese board right about now
try and find a better looking girl that can drive combines (you can't)
Got a Matcha latte
Tastes like shite seaweed
Are jeets the most subservient race on Earth? They get into a war with Pakistan and threaten absolutely bloody murder, both sides talking a big game, threatening to annihilate each other. BOTH nuclear powers.
One call from the Burger King: yes sarr of course sarr we will be processing the ceasefire for you now sarr is there anything else I can do for you today sarr?
Might go littering on monday
does shagging a man only once make you gay for life even if you never do it again
yup
you live in a fantasy world
some outrageous sounds and scents coming out of my arse this afternoon
i'm off to play some oblivion remastered
grow up
cheese doesn't seem appropriate in hot weather
BOTH nuclear powers.
nigga none of those nukes work both are capping
how so?
MUST BE CRAZY
PIMMS AND CHEESE WEATHER
WIMBLEDON SOON
The recent AM albums had some alright songs
youtube.com
youtube.com
unc is retarded
boiling everything down to silly Anon Babble may mays to describe a very serious military escalation between nuclear armed states. Grow up and get a clue, boy.
so much music l cant listen to because it reminds me what a shit loser life l've had
AM is their best album
I haven't heard any of their other ones more than once and don't ever plan to
What do you lot wear to the office
I think she's pretty
you would say that wouldn't you
youtu.be
doing a watch
Yeah she looks good, shame that I have to see the owner too though
naked
cos office is my home
haha x
they literally did nothing wrong
feel sad
They got completely exposed lmao
USA getting filtered.
They blasphemed israel which is illegal in the UK
Haha fuckin nerd
y'all think this german bitch is hot
funded by british government
in their 30s
dress in ira costumes despite demonising the ira
they're cringe
im confused
my college professor canceled our meeting for the second time and i really need to meet with him about the final class project
are chukka / desert boots still okay or are they incellious nowadays
the whole IRA thing seems so redundant and yesteryear considering we're both being invaded by wogs these days
Watching a video of an american shooting a lost delivery driver asking for directions
london wog
link
shoes don't make the man if you're an incel all your shoes are incel shoes
my brother works as a USPS driver (postman basically) and he's had guns pulled on him several times for simply walking up to people's porches and placing their package on the doorstep
brits out, blacks in
simple as
asssault
not attempted murder
uwotm8
I mean Irish are swarthy so it makes sense they'd be okay with nonwhites
very good post
but there are incel shoes
chuka boots aint incel tho just a bit pase esp tan ones
drank an entire box of wine
Rorke genuinely believes that the presence of brown people in the UK is the reason why he has never had sex
do many Brits wear Timbs? think they're practical and quite comfy once you break them in
Absolutely incredible how twitter only gets more and more retarded
remember once at uni having boxed perry
was the worst thing i've ever drunk
rather have red square vodka straigh thtan that shite
only people I've seen wear timbs here are yankified wogs
All that blood that was shed
All those deaths
All those killings
All for nothing in the end
what's replaced chukkas?
ye timbs are very in fashion still
something like a bean boat tho no one here wears only person i'ev ever seen wearing one was an american
why does bro wear and Irish bally when he's from belfast
Got my doc martens on
It's a joke you fucking weapon
slightly outdated (10 years) but go for it
got my Next jeans on
fucks a bean boat
I'm a disabled trans person, and with the government's rise in rhetoric against both, I've noticed a massive increase in general hostility out in public.
I had a man follow me in my wheelchair for a good 20 minutes yesterday. I managed to find a helpful person who confronted him (if it was you kind dog walker, I think you saved me from something grim!) and I got away but it rattled me. The same day I had 3 random abusive comments. They were all from white Scottish men.
It feels genuinely unsafe to be outside. All I was doing was going to get groceries, I was out the house half an hour. It's happening every time I'm in public. I've been spat on, shoved, followed, verbally abused....
I'm in my 40s and grew up in a really rough place. I've never once in my life carried a weapon but I think I'll have to start now. Fucking sad state of affairs that I was safer in the 80s under Section 28.
My other trans, disabled and/or AFAB people. Are you noticing this too? How do we combat this?
nothing per se prep just isn't in anymore
actually using my insanely early dollhouse thread
rorke moping around the house because M&S online clothes orders are still on pause (he's a 15 minute bus ride away from the physical shop)
such a nice day out and all I see is masked up wogs on lime bikes love london xx
get your Brits out
get your Brits out
get your Brits out
WE'RE ON A MAD ONE
Littering is a great day out for all the family. I just tell my son that it’s our little secret
l'm Jewish
New
kek ive been there!
not for M&S though they seem to be for bigger lads
bit early, no?
you've pooed your bum,
you've pooed your bum,
you've pooed your bum, it's true,
i smelled your waste,
in a crowded place,
and i don't know what to do,
cos you smell of wee and poo
what does the average Brit think of Sir Keith
is there a general disdain for him like there was with Rishi
as a big lad this is false
Just saying that it would be worrying if it continues. My doc pulled me out of bodybuilding because my system wasn't keeping up with my mass, diet, and bouts of dehydration - we'd have at least one person pass out at every competition. I went down leaving the stage twice in a row.
Just saying that there are limits, and you'll find them quickly putting on 10lbs a month.
don't these paki delivery drivers work from their phone how do you run out of battery
*sprints through the thread at full tilt covered in poo with a policeman in hot pursuit*
dark fruits weather this
Mate I wrote that 15 mins ago i don’t care anymore
dark fruits
zesty fairy
Hour and fifteen minutes ago rather
Slipknot gone woke
Sir Race Winner
Beautiful looking people can't be autistic
used to wear desert boots in 2013 mate
buy the fucking wallabees rorke
double trips confirm
any Chuck Taylor man in
What do you wear now
rah, clarks bringing the heat once again! those are a must cop, straight up. nuff a dem know about clarks me prefer.
anyone making rorke's da songs?
ill go first
rorkes daaaaaa
ohhhh rorkes da
rorkes da
ohhhh
ohhh
enjoy your new green and white badge with Saudi swords and arabic text all over it
don't like the way they wrap your ankle
What?
*clears throat*
ANY CHUCK TAYLOR MAN IN
daaaaaa daaa daaa
DADADADAAAAAA
DADADADAAAAAA
RORKE'S DAAAA
arent you a little too old to be following football?
i'm jewish and gay
only like low tops
feel like a poof wearing the ones that go above the ankle
arsene wengers magic
he wears a magic hat
and when he saw the double
he said im havin that! ooooooooh
no
Why
What??
fucking hell its like a white ethnostate out there in every town today. white blonde eyed aryan families pouring out the place, never seen my town so white
*looks at /brit/ and everybody is talking about dey creps*
oh...
enjoy your new green and white badge with Saudi swords and arabic text all over it
not what the new badge will look like though
*puts megaphone directly onto your ear*
ANY CHUCK TAYLOR MAN IN
Oh lol
No
paraboots michael, doc martens 1461s, salomon xt6s,
dont understand when youre meant to wear trainers and when youre meant to wear shoes so i only wear trainers (comfy)
God I hate clothes and bodies and faces and hands and feet and hair and mouths and talking and talking and laughing and pretending to find it all so funny
think you may have a touch of the 'pression la
reading some old threads that everyone said at the time were dogshit (2023) and they're infinitely better than now
it's so fucking over
doc martens 1461s
deary me
Ohhhhhhh Arsenal Wengers magic!
The best we’ve till date
And when he came from Paris
He nonced the under 8s! Oohhhhhh
ktim except feet
just feels a bit fruity covering your ankles
Can’t hear you mate some cunt just deafened me with a megaphone
odd thing to say
why would you do that, are you gay?
too narrow
whats wrong with them
bought some of those onitsuka tigers and they're simultaneously too big and too small at the same time
You cared enough to respond. Did you drop that 10lbs in 75 mins?
My best advice is, never take anyone’s advice
Waiting for the skin to fall off my fingers after a week of vigorous wanking (7+ times each day)
Shut up bitch
um
we haven’t reached the bump limit
obama
pope bob
anal sex