/brit/

Giovanna edition

hi

one day I will have my own flat and an indian girlfriend

wanking to yuri hentai

klart simpson

she needs a Brazilian bf.

crazy how she isn't attractive at all anymore, women truly hit the wall mere seconds after they reach 20 years old

she needs an american bf

GREAT edish

fucking hoeling

I don't know what you're talking about, she's still hot.

anyone here ran a marathon before or is training for one?

Just fuck my shit up, the fact i will never have a gf like this is enough to give up

Men have killed themselves for less

gio
bellissima

Remember around 2009-10 when every single film was advertised as being 3D and then nobody gave a shit by 2011 and the shite has barely even existed since

the fabled s curve

it's jehovah

homer simpton? doguhnu :D

Avater was the cause for the whole 3d craze during that time.

never been on a date, me

Avater

brand

she looks like a massive cunt

hate women me

how so?

just seen a bloke rapping whilst walking his dog

she looks lovely and angelic, as all beautiful women do

Some of you lot are proper ninnies. Gotta put on your big boy pants ya know what I'm sayin

I'd lick her arsehole

another weekend wasted. spent literally the entire time here lol

just look at the fucking book she's reading. she's probably insufferable

AUSTRALIA IS FUCKED

caught with a leftypol book to virtue signal to potential mates

very smart

that's a peng TING yea

god hates australia

timmy's crush

should i jack off

Sort it out

my boy PFodz, shite

only if you livestream it x

FOY

free john honey

just done my first ket lads, took way top much
very bizarre experience

he's being turned into bacha bazi by the muslims who run the prison guaranteed

Man up ninny

broken britain

off to bed zzz byebye

that's for your horse mate x

how long to cook mince

love love LOVE skulling like 7 cans and smoking a spliff, heavenly combo

grow up

good 2 hours

rreport it to guinness HQ mate
they ban pubs for doing this

26 year old khhv incel loser it’s over

got no mates to sit in a sunny pub garden with

shan't x

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Bro walks into /brit/ asking how to cook up mince like you NEETs haven't been eating out of tins and chippies for the past 5 years Lol

sit by yourself

what about your mum?

farts smell like pig shite
room filling up with noxious gas

handsome woman

south london? I'll sit with you

handsome

nah

leave her out of this

aye it’d probably a better choice

Bro calls a woman handsome Kek

mad how i havent done anything with my life and just been a passive observer the whole time

when smokey sings

went to the park and bought an ice cream from the ice cream van like it was 2003 or something

no sorry. I only have £30 to my name so I dont live in london. thanks though

Yh cooking up mince is NOT womfy

i really, really hate americans

nowt wrong with that

enjoy life lads. its the only one youve got
how you spend your days is how you spend your life

why does de bruyne have a really good hairline

Sun too bright. Can't see monitor. FUCK YOU!

meet you in the deptford dog and bell in 20 mins mate

why did he copy grealish's haircut

woke will probably outlaw beer gardens soon

Sir Beer Garden

what if its too hot to go inside pub but theres not space outside

Do women turn lesbian iyc?

god gave me autism unfortunately

they're turning the beer gardens into QUEER gardens

Sir Gay Homosexual

woke is outlawed. you can't blame that any more rorke. your problems are your own fault

imagine watching the football live in the staduium in the sun pissed and then straight on the drugs after the win in the sun as the sun sets with your mates then go home and have long sex

All the wokes shiver when I walk in the room
for they can tell that I am based

The thing about Tolkien was that he was constantly ragging on the Romans for being imperialist and greedy and disrupting the traditional harmonies of life but then he'd idealize the Anglo-Saxons despite being an invading people who exterminated the Celts of sub-roman Britain.

inb4 Celticide denial

inb5 actually Rohan's kinda like the Celts in that it's not at all since their culture's explicitly Anglo-Saxon

inb6 Gondor's kinda like Rome in that it's not really since it's more a mix of late medieval Byzantium, Norman culture, and how Britain perceived itself during the world wars, taking a stand against the (non-Anglo) Germanic savages (evil)

inb7 he kinda named a few things after the Celts, and the elves are kinda Celts in that they're a dying race

Is it possible for a white man to be 30+ and nw0?

is that really better than me watching it with the curtains shut drinking wine then having a quick wank?

this match is SHIT

honestly just sat here farting

yeah?

was just saying this down beer garden

hope Manchester dont win today

had a dream last night i was hugging and caressing and shagging this cute half japanese girl
not even got a thing for asian girls me
i was so happy and loving it felt amazing and she was very pretty

also had another dream where i had a sort of flamethrower thing, it was like a garden hose but you could turn the knob and fire would come out. I was fucking around and accidentally burnt down an old man’s house. then all the neighbours on the street came out in a mob to try and find me and i realised i was fucked and going to jail and ran away and hid. then i woke up

wish you didnt have to jump through hoops to phonepost these days used to lay in the sun occasionally opening my phone to make dogshit posts and it was comfy

nah he specifically mentioned drugs but your story doesn't feature that

never had sex dreams ever

ever had any dreams?

I'm not a low iq mong though

same. I usually just have dreams where things that are easy to do in real life are near impossible to do in the dream world.

had loads but they always involve shagging people im not attracted to in real life or people i shouldnt be shagging for various reasons

The UK can be a very beautiful country when it’s sunny

Unfortunately it only happens like 5 days a year

I often dream of a woman raping me but I end up enjoying it haha

MY NAME JEFF!

just checked, that's gay

had one the other night of shoving my cock down a woman's throat

when asleep yes

today's pearl of wisdom:

you need to rule over your time with an IRON FIST

ruling over my cock with an iron fist

or people i shouldnt be shagging for various reasons

got something to tell us, brucie?

Business idea: flush the toilet after every piss I take

I am not gay, I have never dreamed of a man once in my entire life

2025. The summer of the Aryan man.

nan's sorted me out

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every piss I take

every poo i makeeeee

might change my name to winson

scranny

Watching foreigners kick balls in the English premier league

Adam somewhere right now rubbing his hands together thinking of all the dogshit "bad psych" OPs he's going to make

putting a water wheel in my toilet so i can use my pee to turn it and generate free electricity

good post

winson churhill

mom got doordash lads

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alright but you shouldn't eat burnt meat though

it's carcinogenic

wanking to Lenny Henry

doordash

foy

rodent freakoid

put on the big hair mutts - pep

I'm praying for your downfall
I hope you suffer unimaginably you cunt

Any alcoholic man in?

yea me

yeah that french lad

Nah homie it's the 21st century

we ain't on that no more

a lot of Brits like to live in the 19th century but we moved on. just a bit more advanced ya know

never been drunk, me

My son posts on /brit/

alri mo

rorke, rorke, fashion baby

might get an allotment, did some gardening today and it's the most exercise i've done in months, feels great and looks lovely at the end of it

Sir Axel Rudakubana

gave the gay porn a try
not sure it's my cup of tea

Average daily consumption? Any life consequences so far?
jinx
Muslim?
fuck up

Literally can not believe women fancy a big butt on you if you’re a gym lad

Why do they care?

having big firm glutes means better at shagging

Ok it's 1 pm gotta log off and be productive a bit

pondering a mcscronalds ordah

corr imagine smashing her cunt in then she waddles to the kitchen and comes back serving you this when you're still in bed

Gay porn is like tiramisu: not something you need daily but once in awhile it really hits the spot

it's 6pm mate

laughing and weeing into the toilet

gave tranny porn a go, don't like the cocks

playing heads down thumbs up on my own in my smelly bedroom

depends, i have relapses here and there

wiggling my little insect rodent feet in delight

Guys on dating apps in skiing or snowboarding gear

Tranny and real female is the best combination.

screaming at this

why do i hate AI so much
i had a melty in the family group chat because my sister was posting AI-generated versions of family photos using that Ghibi thing

ME SON'S GOT A KITCHEN KNOIFE

why

all the girls buying this week's OK magazine for his middle page spread

Using the self checkout

mental that I had so much hope for my life

Same. I expected so much better of myself.

probably because you're a hateful humourless loser with a rotten soul

bet he's spreading his middle page right now

got hope for the next life me
god and all that

twice now some random paki in an ice cream van has driven into my quiet cul-de-sac blasting a stupid nursery rhyme then fucked off a few minutes later
sick to bastard death of it

Men who get a bath. The thought of him climbing out makes my SKIN crawl

I didn't, I understood from an early age that I was too much of a weird sperg to get far

Men who get a bath

Saar

using the self checkout and having to get one of the staff to come over to reset it

god forbid someone tries to capitalise on the nice weather and make a bob or two

I had so much potential as a teenager, but it's been squandered.

unexpected item in arse area

Isn't it sad how culture sorta just died
i think there was something still there in the 2010s but it's all been smoothed over with algorithms and now AI

nobodies come out though, both times. They need to take the hint

Had 20% of my wealth wiped out over the weekend because of bog shart and his tarrifs

rorke thinking about animals wearing silly hats lol

i hope he runs you over

they cant make shows liek this anymore
because of woke

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lel

are italian women woke

i hope one of your darkie pets stabs you

the internet killed it. Now that the whole world can see what everyone else is doing, we've all collectively embraced this one generic global culture that seems to be a mix of American, wog and Japanese

they've been talking about it for months i don't know why people are surprised by this

a) he put University Challenge on telly one evening. Like, on purpose
b) he called out the answers, creating this weird pressure to either join in or implicitly look like a thicko by not joining in
c) he gave this little satisfied nod when he got one right

yeah everything just seems like a blur from 2012 onwards

Who said I'm surprised?

not really arsed me. It'll come back

kidnapping a women and making her play darts with me

buy the dip

new at number 6, it's Bog Shart & The Tariffs!

me
why didn't you prepare

might become a rapper

what you gonna rap about lad

He disliked nearly all women, and especially the young and pretty ones. It was always the women, and above all the young ones, who were the most bigoted adherents of the Party, the swallowers of slogans, the amateur spies and nosers−out of unorthodoxy.

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only number 6, bog shart are finished

things that rhyme probbaly

Men who are Gluten Intolerant

mad how shit the internet has been for the world as a whole

yeah

and we cant go back, they wont let us

What's the actual line? I've only seen the Anon Babble and /brit/ memes

SHIT FOOTBALL I AM DONE

6ft because apparently that matters

me son a fookin incel

man kick baoll

got out of crypto in january
should have been december but whatever

Need to do an all nighter tonight to get ready for start of night shift job Monday, will grab a 3.5 to make it more fun

Men with one syllable names like “Todd” and “Mark”

grim runt existence

grab this 3.5 mate *gestures to my cock*

and we cant go back

but we have to

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Believable, but... really?

Him starting a job for the first time and learning how to use their system

yhe h9ly binble

what's the very end of a dress/skirt called? like the last bit of fabric

b-but I'm still learning!

hem

had a pretty good day today lads
went on a lickle jolly

skirting

Him saying something funny and no one hearing and doing a nervous David Brent smile

fucking hell lads just realised the heating came on at 5
i'm roasting in here
must be about 28 degrees

unironically overheard a teenager (female) say how embarrassing it was to train a 30 year old at work
might kms

it's about some runt who stabs a girl because she rejected his advances and cyberbullied him for being an incel

Kissing you and staring deeply into my eyes and then saying "hi"

a 3.5 ounce can of beer? or a 3.5 mg spliff of cannabis ?

Whitey on the ropes

Oh yeah, that fake term that they're astrotufing

see a message on teams

it's the autisic Latvian with the massive tits

u sure u will be at work tomorrow?

She has a husband. Leave me the fuck alone.

im 27 on 25k a year job
lovely stuff

I'm 28
28 is young

When he posts in a British general and the only responses he gets are from other yanks.

I would if I were in your shoes. Real niggas do real shit.

me 18
:3

mumberg has cooked a nice shoulder of lamb
hope she's cooked it properly because I fucking paid for the cunt
19 pounds sterling! what a rip off

oh dear

had lamb chops and a chicken teriyaki rice bowl me

Plaid shirts

35 and 25k me, it's been over

thinking of doing one of those solo wellness cruises

deary me

grim foreign slop

Guys eating hot soup.
Guys blowing on soup.
Guys dipping bread in soup.

what's the end plan here lads?

crashing this plane, with no survivors

right then

tell me what im getting from McDonald's™

Gonna turn my life around lads. It starts tomorrow.

Jap food is very nice imo and needs to catch on more in the UK, it's tasty but without being overly greasy like Chinese food or spicy like Indian

Couldn't be less interested in her, lad
She's nice and has massive chebs and does enjoy the wine but I go to work to not work. And dealing with a relationship would be work

my gf earns more than me and will earn a lot more when she gets her PhD
plus up to this point ive been a shut-in so have a fair chunk of savings despite my low wage

4 double quarter pounders, 2 large fries, 4 large cokes, 9 nuggets

Virgin?

Japan-on-Thames, is it?
Japan-under-Lyme, maybe?
No, so its foreign slop and that's the end of it

Chicken Selects

I've been dating this guy, and yesterday i saw a bit of his white scalp peeking out from under his dark hair, and it gave me the ick

like .. u have a scalp

just got my literal first runt job at 22 and its on 24k, how is this possible?

minecraft meal

Filet-O-Fish for starter, then a triple cheeseburger and large '''fries''' for main course.
Any McFlurry will suffice for afters

stop being racist rorke

No but my last gf died several years ago from suicide/overdose so I keep away from relationships since it's tirring

get that bradded pronto

Fair enough

Who is this chubster?

been a shut in for years, just got an apprentice type job

Some Twitter egirl, can't remember her handle tho sorry

I get about 27-28k because of overtime and evening/weekend premiums. But they will probably take those away to make up for the fact min wage went up. They probably won't increase anybody's existing wage, they will just let it become minimum wage and claim that that's fine because it's still a raise on the basic rate. So I will be back on the same 25k as everybody else.

My first job when I was a younglad I was only getting about 13k a year though so it feels like I did alright, as long as I don't think about how much more expensive everything is and the fact a kid straight out of college would get the same as me.

I hate how employers are such jews. I'm good at my job and I should be rewarded for that. Not get the same pay as some paki who puts in less than the bare minimum effort and fucks up constantly.

also 22 not working yet though
how's toiling?

Think I may have pissed the bed last night. Not 100% sure but going to err on the side of caution and do laundrytoil today.

What job do you do? I work a pretty menial job and have no degree and I'm still on the same money as you

Opinions on the political ideology known as National Runtism?

What is this, an Emma Stone movie?

I'm still on the same money as you

alri chuck

Big fan

Damn. Reminds me of a girl who was into me in school.

Delivery driver. So it's unskilled obvs. I don't have a degree either so it's the only type of jobs I can get.

Used to have a much more fancy job because I did an apprenticeship but I left when I realised I could get the same money just to drive a van about and drop off people's shopping. It's a pisstake of a job really but loads of people hate it and leave within their fist month on the job.That tells me it should get more money, that's how the market is supposed to work right?

No, obviously not, that's what we import 5 billion pakis a year for, to make sure every job is minimum wage. That's the end game here. That's what our economy will be in another 10-15 years. It won't matter if you have a degree. You will get minimum and you'll be thankful you get even that.

if it helps I have a law degree and have gotten 0 use out of it and also work a wagie job