/brit/

billend

no amount of posting trannies is going to make us like them mate

didnt ask

took me 20 mins to get hard
shagged her for a good 2 hours

I'll do any jobs.... Any jobs

I don't think that's their goal

good lad. every mum deserves this

i can be your girlfriend for the weekend ~~

youtube.com/watch?v=tep9uGsVzK4

nah it worked on me

love hearing about troons and faggots getting killed

Saturday night and heathermongo is here spamming trannies

boo hoo nigga

TURN ON THE FUCKING NEWS STAT

Phones are evil and are destroying society

Why is the English press so evil? They just say terrible things about people.

genetic predisposition

gaelic-masonic monopoly

there literally isn't a single interesting thread on the catalog right now

yank hours

right lads I'm not happy, I've been sat on the toilet ejecting liquid poo for the last 10 minutes
that's the last sodding time I'll have curried eggs I think

take charcoal pills and don't forget to drink lots of water

looks ai

brotherstein fixed my electrical issue in 20 min
thank dog he decided to learn a trade instead of being a useless fuck like me

on a bodycam binge a

merry christmas war is over

Thread on Anon Babble I was posting in got moved to Anon Babble by the janny.

"At least seven dead after migrant boat capsizes near Greek island of Lesbos"

aff tae bed

only 7

did an incisive poo

Jews aren’t welcome in this general

There were 4 more seats ffs

what if all the royal family and cousins etc died

who'd be the monarch then

i.4cdn.org/gif/1743902679933121.mp4

forgot to mute before I opened this one and got jumpscared by that parp

i suppose i'll have to do it

that fart came straight outta her soul, damn

Every time I poo, I mentally post 'Taking a poo' on /brit/.

king james may

Is this proper British culture I made thi .s while I had a Sam smith

business idea: Keith Starmer, by the Grace of God of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland and of His other Realms and Territories, King, Head of the Commonwealth, Defender of the Faith

There’s like 1,000 technical heirs to the throne

But if all the royals died they’d probably make a fat black tranny the next monarch

Goodnight team. Hopefully I dream of Gigi

when you can't poo but can't stop farting is the worst
the poo gas stench is amplified by the log jam of turds

They’d probably pack it in at that point.

Oh aye? Expert on the inner workings of the crown are you

see a gastroenterologist bud

Emma Watson shitting and farting during sex.

do brown and black MPs ever try to whitewash themselves to fit in or is that a yank thing

morning de lloyds

night beautiful

but lad, it's 7:16 PM

Genuinely insane that some people are into this

Bros getting up at 3:15 AM yeah nah

Some are occasionally targeted with the accusation of being 'coconuts' i.e brown on the outside, white on the inside, because in their position in society they are so completely removed from the typical experience of black and brown people within the UK and wider world. Usually the person who calls them a coconut then gets fired and or arrested.

If you listen to our brown and black MPs speak they are indistinguishable from the white ones in terms of values, views and such. They basically all went through the same private schooling system so everyone comes out the same regardless of skin colour.

nigga think he jocko willink

good.

/brit/ only exists in your own mind anyway

it's 03:18 here and I have to leave for work soon to begin my 4AM shift

I got up at 01:30AM so I could make breakfast, do the dishes, poo, shave, shower, dress, have another breakfast, brush my teeth then post here for a bit before leaving. Then later I will go to bed around 6PM.

having a fucking PINT at 3 AM!!!!
fuck yeah!!!

taking a poo

silly jf
its DOING a poo

YEAHHH

You are extremely mentally ill.

it’s spaki looking for attention
he’s a disabled fat paki cunt with no life

having a poo

He's just a bog standard man with asperger's syndrome, complete with the Special Interests and being easily impressionable in online echo chambers.

You DID preorder your Nintendo Switch 2 this week, didn't you /brit/?

no i actually have a life

Do you have neighbors? Do they wonder what you're doing in the middle of the night?

no i am old enough to post on this website

Oh just found out we've got another nonce MP

buying nintenshit after the n64

oh tell your dad i said congratulations on his election

have been thinking about how much i hate americans recently
bizarre foreign country with foreign made up plantation culture
mid atlantic synthesis of that with europe made hollywood and thats been filtered out across the world
nasty poison the rest of us are forced to imbibe
foul hellish place full of bears and oversized forests
all americans are dead eyed and their mouths move weirdly when they speak in their beastly accent
really dont like them

i'll just wait for the emulator

Why draw the line at the N64? The GameCube was objectively the greatest Nintendo console of all time.

Yeah I'm thinking serious kino alert

There won't be an emulator.

youtube.com/watch?v=LWdn9QYN4ag

yes there will, this is tendie cope as usual

I’d swab her buttcrack for fecal matter and lick the swab.

There will be no Switch 2 emulator any time soon. I guarantee you that.
And I hope third worlders like you have zero opportunity to play Nintendo games in the near future. Go waste away in your favelas that reek of shit and piss. You aren't worthy to experience the cultural products of the first world. And nobody wants you here. Just go and die.

youtube.com/watch?v=Bg76mSSzErs

They probably do wonder but I suspect they must know I'm going out for work given how consistent my schedule is. And they must hear my car starting.

average nintendo fan

what job are you doing at 4am on a sunday?

Prefer not to say but it's nothing glamorous or well paid.

It's alright though. Start early, finish early and then I have the rest of the day to myself.

got an ass up my ass

like a donkey or an actual arse?

The last time I went to the cinema was in February 2020 to see the film 1917

I just fucking despise third worlders.

I want them to fucking go away. They have ruined the internet.

I genuinely wish every person who lives in Brazil, Mexico, Argentina, India, Pakistan, China, Egypt, etc, would just starve to death and die.

The world does not need these people. They have not contributed anything that is worth to humanity as a whole. They are a net negative on our species.

Shall assume rent boy until further information is available

Fun fact, a majority of black MPs have white spouses. This is especially common among Tory MPs. Every single black and brown female Tory MP has a white husband.

in other news the sky is blue

Slanted eyes meet a new sunrise
A race of bodies small in size

Too many wogs in that

For me it was when I went to see Joker in October 2019

I was in a very tender position in my life at the time I watched that film. Let's just say that after I watched it I had... feelings.

Let me just say that there were people back then who I felt deserved certain treatment.

The Lord should smile upon me for the fact I had the restraint to not wreak vengeance on those who wronged me back in that hellish, unbearable, insufferable place that began with the letter E...

youtube.com/watch?v=BuyFhOIA-bE

I said it's NOT well paid.

The latter

it's 03:18 here and I have to leave for work soon to begin my 4AM shift

you should raise your prices then. unless your bottyhole is too knackered?

is this an accurate observation

didn’t ask for your life story mate

You didn't ask, but you're gonna get it.

Absolutely fuck this place. I wish Putin would drop a nuke upon this town. Obliterate the place that was the harbinger for the ruination of my life. Just fucking kill it.

Any time I've went to the cinema alone it's been a shit time. The films I've seen alone are:

Pacific Rim

Mission Impossible: Fallout

First Man

Dune 2

Some OK films but I can never get over the fact I'm there alone, surrounded by people there with their friends or as couples. It gets me down and takes me out of the film.

That said, I think I will go see the final instalment in the animated Spiderverde series in the cinema when it comes out as I like those movies and think it will be good on the big screen.

grim GRIM

you're going at the wrong time
always go to the earliest showing

i don’t know but once read a thread where there were american and british workers at the same company

the americans bragged that they were taking extra work on the weekends and were using their holidays to work and always tried to up their performance. the british workers thought they were losers with no life.

Probably explains the difference between our two working cultures. Americans can be slavish to the “hustle culture” and always going above and beyond, their work is their life and they chase material possessions and the almighty dollar over all. Means a hollowed out empty life but a far larger and stronger economy and new innovations for the rest of the world. Swings and roundabouts.

for me it was 2014 when i went to see the lego movie. the ticket collector asked if i was on my own and i said yes which made him chuckle a bit. the cinema was full of noisy kids with their parents. it was pretty traumatising

I remember my first cider too mate

interesting, similar thing here with black and brown Republican pols. off the top of my head, Clarence Thomas' wife is white

When I go to my local cinema I always see other loners so I don’t feel so bad

I got drunk and decided to celebrate British culture

I wish I could rampage around my room just fucking absolute SCREAMING this song.

youtube.com/watch?v=mQ2-SkLfldk

I can't do that of course. It would be barbaric.

But I wish I could.

This world has mistreated me to such an extent it is fucking obscene.

And sometimes, maybe, I think "you all need to pay for what you've done to me..."

idk kind of a nice looking town

Bruh why are you seeing the Lego movie on your own :skullemoji:

Going to the cinema alone and laughing loudly and giving real time advice to characters in sticky situations for the entire room to hear

Let me ask you, what you got against me? Is it my girl or is it the bentley? Is it my house or maybe it's all three? I just came up and you're all against me

Haven’t been to the cinema since the Super Mario movie.

Once read on Anon Babble that in America black people talk to the screen in the cinema. Howled at the thought

Oh, no, you've misunderstood me entirely if you think that's what's going on.

I had my first alcoholic beverage back in 2012. So long ago about 90% of this thread was shitting in their fucking nappies back when I took that first sip.

But I fucking despise that town. That fucking Exeter. That's the worst fucking god-forsaken place in this Satanic fucking country. And that fucking university. That place fucking ruined my life. I will never forgive what they did to me. Never, ever, ever. And I hope every single person I attended that place with pays, sooner or later.

yea, this scene is 100% accurate
youtube.com/watch?v=Sgwfvu6k0xs

What’s that one movie called? I can’t remember the title of the film but it’s Indiana Jones, and he’s in a Temple of Doom.

sabrina xx

so uh that economy hey haha!!

unc is crashing out

yeah whatever mate fuckin do something about it you’re that pissed off instead of ranting on the incel chat room at 4am on a sunday

one day i just stopped eating alone at restaurants because i could feel people staring at me weirdly. no joke

who u think i am? the godfather part III?

I just want people to know.

I know there's people on this thread who went to that place with me.

Years ago, someone responded to me with my literal IRL name. They called me out.

So I know they're here.

I just want them to know. I fucking hate them. And I'd smash their bones if they were in front of me. And I won't fucking let them kill me.

what happened lad

shut up old retard lmfao

she comes in colours everywhere
she combs her hair
she's like a rainbow

stop pretending to be schizophrenic for attention on Anon Babble at 4am on a sunday

actual schizos posting right now

>>/tv209931183

Many such cases

WHAT IS THAT GUY DOING?

IS HE EATING?

IN A RESTAURANT.....?

THAT IS SOOOOOOOOOO WEIRD

They fucking killed me, lad.

One day I rocked up to that place thinking my life would be transformed. I thought I was gonna be the king. I thought there would be girls and guys hanging off my arms, I'd be so popular.

3 years later I was a husk of a man. I ballooned in weight, I became a laughing stock, rumours were swirling around about me, I got publicly #MeToo'd, I was arrested several times...

I fucking hate that place and I want everyone who was involved in what happened to me back there to pay.

Let’s try that again.

curiosu what it is

That's fucked because the last time I went to the cinema (alone) was to see '71 which is an abbreviation of an anagram of the film you last saw

lol what da dog doin

I'm not schizophrenic.

I know there's people here right know who know who I am. They've named me in the past.

So come the fuck on. Don't be a fucking coward. State my name, cuz. Call me out. And we'll see it out. We'll call this the final showdown. Only one of us leaving here alive.

you forgot the part where i stared at them back with passion

last film i saw alone was inside out 2

quoting stormzy

tragic

miss mousey
just want him back

want to get the minecraft meal from mcdonalds but i dont like the big mac

Softcore porn from 1992?

m.imdb.com/title/tt0238303/?ref_=nv_sr_srsg_8_tt_7_nm_0_in_0_q_inside%20out%202

don’t care
die

for me it’s red rooster or hungry jacks

i hate the price. it’s like my meal for a month

Give it to someone in need

2016mong on maddone

Yeah I'll quote Stormzy. And I'll quote him for days.

youtube.com/watch?v=RqQGUJK7Na4

And that's a hint if you want it.

Who am I? What's my name?

Go on. Fucking say it. I know some of you here know it.

Say. My. Fucking. Name.

As soon as you say it, we'll kick off.

I'm ready for the final showdown.

big man like me with a beard...

i'm so london, i'm so south...

thats me up for 530 shift

5 consecutive yous is crazy

youtube.com/watch?v=c_anYpBqfbc

And that's the soundtrack playing in my room right now.

I'm ready to die. I'm ready to see it off.

Say my name and it will all be over. Come on you cunts.

get the fucking nuggies then

Am i British yet

Jamal

bud light in the lower right?

That ain't my name, nigga!

And you are not who I'm looking for.

I know there are people here who know who I am. I know there are people here who are seeking to mock me.

And I'll find them even if it'll be the death of me.

oops
caught the libtard FREAK

world at war is fucking boring. worst cod I've ever played

Yeah it says right there

toby!

Nah, Toby ain't the name, nigga.

Try again.

gegory

not long til i start my 12 hour sunday shift

oppa toilslave style

sir ronald weasley

In the summer of 2016 I was only a few months before I went to university.

I was anticipating uni so much. I thought it was going to be my salvation. I thought I would go there and save my life. My negative reputation from secondary school would be thrown away, and I would become a legend... I honestly thought that.

In summer '16 most of my thoughts were dedicated towards imagining that future. I found myself listening to mid-90s R.E.M albums on repeat. For some reason, this song...

youtube.com/watch?v=CEo4UcLvzVo

...just stuck in my head. And every time I hear it, it transports me back to that time. I knew about the Radiohead connection, and that just made it only deeper.

Right now, it might be July 2016 inside my head. With these tunes, that's what it sounds like.

And I often wish I could go back to how blissful that time felt. Before 2017, 2018, and 2019 just utterly raped my life.

how dare he steal that car

2016mong lore
this is massive

are you a teenage girl?
get a grip. our grandfathers dug coal and flew spitfires and you’re sitting here talking about the summer of 2016 and techno all soppy.

youtube.com/watch?v=-0O_QD-UZ8M

Hello...

It's a beautiful day...

This is your day.

Make it what it is.

Really need to sort out my spotify

are you a teenage girl?

I don't think so, but I am feminine in my ways.

I feel very, very, very sore about how this world has treated me.

I have been beaten, abused, punished, and fucking broken down since the day I was born.

Not a single day of my life has been easy. Every single second of my life has been hard.

I just wish people would understand that.

mousey come home

have you considered trooning out?

No. I am not a woman.

Check it
I grew up, a fuckin screw up
Got introduced to the game
Got an ounce and fuckin blew up

I have been beaten, abused, punished, and fucking broken down since the day I was born.

no you haven't

Not a single day of my life has been easy.

yes it has

Every single second of my life has been hard.

no it hasn't

whiney ungrateful little cunt

And why don't you people just stop being cowards?

I know who you are. And you know who I am.

Just fucking name me. Just call me out and it'll be all over.

We can end this right here. Just fucking do it.

Seriously lad just enjoy music for what you appreciate it for. If it makes you ultimately sad try something else. When I'm in the depths I put on stuff from before I was anywhere near puberty and the world came crashing in. Something always lifts me out.

who what where why when

You arrive in the UK

youtube.com/watch?v=fgT9zGkiLig

And this song...

This was late 2014.

Trials and tribulations in my relationships, everybody trying to persecute me, but prevailing in the end.

Those were the fucking days.

time to shank some poor bastard

Society has been enslaved by magic rectangles

If I was Prime Minister I would take everyone’s phones away at gunpoint and shoot any resistors. They’ll call me El Liberador de los Británicos. People will write songs about me. I’ll free the Briton of his chain built by suicidal cantonese teenagers.

why

New

simpler times

guarantee at least one of the birds got called fat at some stage

Come on you bastards.

I know you are here.

Let's fucking duel, and we'll end this.

the fuck is that j zee?

Wait so is King Charles the dad of prince harry and the other one the bald one with the fit wife

rorke's whip spotted in london

Couldn’t hit water if you fell out a boat cunt

Oh yeah? You wanna go then do you? You wanna fucking go? Say my name then. And we'll fucking go.

yes lad keep up

why nancy is sticking her foot out like such ?

she doing the cha cha slide pmsl omds x

Alri daniel

hmm

*BWAAHHHHH*
Try again!

showing a bit of ankle for the lads

chris?
luke?
dylan?

... parked right behind radcenpol's mclaren corr

magic rectangles

black mirrors as it were

Who killed Diana?

parking your car like this will wear out the tie rods faster btw

how did they know diana had dandruff?
found her head and shoulders in the glovebox

Last year I faced a terrifying situation.

A guy I used to know back in university (in the late 2010s) contacted me.

He said that rumours were going around that I had killed myself. Apparently dozens of people believe that I killed myself back in 2021.

I don't know who started this rumour. I have a vague idea, but there isn't much I can do about it.

I don't think any of you know what it feels like to be a walking ghost... To be someone that this world has forgotten.

I put my headphones in, marched out in the rain, and listened to this.

youtube.com/watch?v=9CXnnjAXG0Q

It was NOT me I didn't do it

blog on

armpits stinking again

corr gis a sniff

now you know how joan of arc felt

been farting up a storm since dinner

and I want the internet movie database message boards back

seems like her driver was drunk and inebriated with some other type of substance as well
so him most likely

As the B.O. rose to her slavic nose and her buttplug started to melt

There's absolutely no evidence that aliens exist beyond "but like dude, the universe is REALLY big!"

If you still believe in aliens past like age 8, you need to be put down.

some girls fart louder than others...

I’d love to sniff up all her farts.

girls don't fart

uniform on troops
leaving now

godspeed anon

they toot and poot

Your mum wears out my rod mate

god-speed a bullet to my brain

proof? no
plenty of evidence though

yeah but its fun to think about

Sci-fi and children's books aren't evidence

thats correct yeah

i wish

rod the mod also penis

penis AND balls

and I don't care for rod stewart's rhinoplasty

NEED a nk gf

how fucking DESPERATE are you lad

we've come full circle

youtube.com/watch?v=J_DV9b0x7v4

Anyone else here from 2007?

A lotta the time I listen to this and it transports me back 18 years.

we've come into the light

so yeah this was just a coincidence

do NOT post the photos of david beckham on holiday with his sons

Wahey

Davidowitz Beckhemberg

eating poo

I get it, Nork girls would probably be very easy to brainwash into worshipping you

you telling me he is lacking a penis sheath?
not good

Yes, he's had his stahlhelm surgically removed.

youtube.com/watch?v=u02tycroA30

Ohhh yeahhhh

youtube.com/watch?v=0IjeE45p91Y

¬

If you’ve posted a youtube link itt you should be publicly flogged.

Bit early you cunt

shame janny isn't here to teach this ingrate a lesson