/brit/

Jim'll fix this thread mate

Hello, smelly?

When the colonizer came into Kemet, he raped and looted.

I just want a BRITISH himbo who says "Chewsday" constantly

and I want Matt Berry to say futanari but we don't always get what we want now do we?

Speak for yourself money talks

Lying in bed feeling a bit sad. My life has been anything but ideal. And at times I feel so stagnant.

You should put on a film and sending huggeys and kisseys xx

shut up fucking poof

Got to a high frequency sleep resonance then started hearing the dirty electricity travelling through my houses wires

witchcraft messing with your mind/?

poor people are stuck being poor because of flat fees

Supping a monster energy juice and playing footy manager

how do I make a beef stew
what makes the water turn into thick yummy stew soup stuff
what veggies should I put in it

gamer girls rule the world

Get the aids into Gaza NOW bloody jews

any manly man in

Thoughts?

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You know what I like, /brit/?

rock n' roll?

onion celery carrot to start with
then potatoes and possibly mushrooms if you want
herbs: parsley thyme a bay leaf or two and possibly a pinch of sage if you want
salt and pepper
a glug of red wine ale or stout can be nice
use stock or broth not water
you can brown the meat in hot fat/oil at the beginning but you don't have to
to thicken make a slurry from a spoonful or two of flour put into a sealable container with water or stock or broth (cold) and then shake the container until it's completely mixed (stirring works too but shaking is easier) then pour this into your stew and bring to a boil while stirring you will see it thicken
if it's not thick enough for you do it again until you achieve the consistency you desire

Still awake team. Mind is racing. All kinds of negative thoughts. Need to switch off. And do some more Haiku.

My thoughts are racing
Regrets flowing like rivers
Sleep is a release.

I Like Rock n' Roll

also you want to bring it to a boil at the beginning and then reduce the heat all the way down to a very low simmer and let it cook like that
only bring it up to a boil again when you want to thicken it by adding a slurry (the flour and liquid mixture)
this will ensure that the meat is nice and tender not tough and chewy

Beef stew? Not for me.
I can hear the birds singing.
I should be asleep.

you can also add tomato paste or puree or sauce to it but that is for some a controversial addition
but if it sounds nice to you then give it a try

bored lads, making ai slop

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garlic is also an option to go in with the onion but some may find the flavor too strong

Remember when Prince William said in an interview he posts on Anon Babble

thats future king willy to you mate

I hate this.

No he didn't be quiet

He said he posts on "anonymous football forums"

morning freakazoids non virgin coming through average thread iq and cock size and number of women shagged has just skyrocketed

Need to have sex with Emma Watson.

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you never will, she said he hate people who like poo

I am taking a shit.

FACTS

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shotgun bullets are bad for yo health
*cocks shotty gauge*

hello lads. up early although i didn't really sleep very well

mad how there was almost definitely poo in the queen's knickers at the moment of her death

Picturing one of those tall hat guards puking into his hand oh oh haha

Wait till they know the truth.

voca.ro/19DzoN6OW2r4

You don't get a you sorry hahahaa

back from a 3 dayer
some of you are NEEKS reporting posts

Request

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wat did u post

made an ermm what the fork new

wasn't me, i'm no grass

lol bringing it upon yourself

what's the point of accumulating paid leave if toilberg can just deny it when i request it

Gay Porn (slowed & reverbed)

i wish i could sleep at will

'

Situation's get fucked up I know

some zoomers tower over me (i'm 6'2) and others are absolute manlets, there doesn't seem to be any middleground

*Bass boosted*

just filtered a flag

Just do Tren. It's legal in Australia isn't it?

Darwin called it Speciation!

You're like Saville but Canadian

fuck off you nonce freak

is it spamming/flooding? low quality? what can this be identified as?

Faggotry

I see his point tbf but he is being annoying

Janny come quick. Your services are needed in this thread.

watching E.T. the extra-terrestrial (1982)
mad how drew barrymore was once a tinny little girl and then she grew up and became fit and then hit the wall and is now a grim old lady
an entire life lived right before my eyes

any heroin heads in?

o7 to leafgod

Are you daft?!

this is what happens when people don't have decent mothers
sad

the passage of time?

no you become a retard

Look at the American black community and then come back to me

hate watching left handed people write, it's all wonky and wrong, we should start oppressing their sort again

arsewank failed, we'll get em next time

bent freak

girl i follow on instagram hasnt got a single bastard picture of her from the back or showing any skin whatsoever fucking sick of it show us something you slag

nowt gay about it

might mod new vegas and give it a go

Stuffing things up your bum for sexual gratification is not only gay, it's bottom gay. Shagging a male sex arse would be theoretically less gay because it would be top gay.

saw a thing the other day about how bella ramsey looks like kevin james, the evidence was pretty compelling

alright theoretically less gaylad

Well lad? Pull your pants down then. Let's see the product.

did ya know that paraguay is the only national flag with two different sides

is it true that it's uncommon for europeans to not to a weekly grocery shop and instead just go to the shops every day for whatever they're going to eat that day?

I like big pink lips

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ah yes, yank hours *rolls eyes*

no, that's rather strange

i go the asda on a tuesday and a friday

No I didn't even know that was possible

why are you asking here, brits are only one type of european and rather different from the rest

brits know all about the continentals and their deviant behaviour

Pokemon Go was created by an “intelligence agency” to get access to places where the google cars cannot go and also get users’ personal information which is not even legal and they laugh at the fact that players do all the “spying” work for them for free.

do people still play that? i never tried it, i'm assuming the only thing that was "fun" about it was the novelty

If the FBI sent someone to my house to suck my cock for free I would gladly give them my geodata

yea they usually have a smaller shop they can walk to in 5 mins so it’s easy for them

people became addicted to it because it was their first experience being outside and so they associated it with being outdoors and associated the game with their desire to be outdoors basically they have been tricked into thinking they can't go outside without playing the game it is sort of like a cult

thinking about heckin puppers

the first few weeks of pokemon go were nice everyone was outside and chatting with strangers

I like coyotes. I would hug one.

I do understand, Pokemon Go is a cool game, but some people are being too serious and sometimes extremly mean.

that's just called normal life
you don't need a game to do that

stfu rorke

okay y'all convinced me to delete pokemon go now

mad how much this place has changed my life for the better

doing the poo of a lifetime right now lads, no exaggeration, my ringpiece will be in tatters by the time it's over

australia is so disappointing, could have been great

IF YOU LIKE TO GRANGLE I TELL YOU I'M YOUR MAN,
YOU WIN SOME, LOSE SOME,
IT'S ALL THE SAME TO ME!

i stopped playing pokemon go when my username got changed against my will, i had a 4-letter username with no numbers on it and they changed it to add a "3" on the end for seemingly no reason, fucking arseholes

australia was, perhaps still is, blank slate: the continent

Australia more like AustFAILIA gay ass country New Zealand is better

easy to forget how gta 3 and vice city had almost no swearing in them (the worst word you'd likely hear is "prick")
but then san andreas came out and it was all like fuck fuck nigga motherfucka nigga nigga

hangover wank on the cards

i got my username "holocaust" changed against my will on mario kart ios

people only say that when they don't know anything about new zealand

~_~

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new zealand seems like it should be owned by australia and it should be the where an australian goes to retire in the life cycle of an australian

Having exactly one of three diamonds glow with a 1/3 chance has only a 44.4…% chance of happening - less than half of the time

P(X=1) = binomial(3,1) * 1/3 * (1 - 1/3)2 = 3 * 1/3 * 4/9 = 4/9 = 0.444…

Probability is weird

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we could retire there if he wanted, and many do, we have complete freedom of movement, hence why 10% of all kiwis live here

what if the earth is like a cell or an atom in a giant organism

my vape's gone all harsh and tastes like shit even though it's only at 50%, fucking dud

chud and his dud

seems like people vape just so they have something to do

well yes, obviously
plus that first big puff in the morning before getting out of bed is heavenly

the way some of you talk about it, it's like a ritual, you go down to the vape shop and get a vape, feel like you've accomplished something

so at these hours we get a brit doing maffs and a bunch of non brit flags

what if horton hears a who

do british children read dr. seuss

yes

hooray!

horton hears a poo

dr. seuss was actually a dickhead in real life but his books are good

I never like this song or the video until I saw a live performance of it on david letterman or something on youtube a few years ago and the song seemed completely different to me and I was sort of entranced by it

Makes sense to me, not weird at all :/

what'd he do? did he hate jews like walt disney?

i'm guessing he hates him because he was a democrat or something

imagine my shock (this is for the last of us season 2)

he was a chickenhead

might do some canoodling

he abandoned his wife while she was chronically ill and dying he left her to go shack up with one of their friends and neighbors living with her in her house down the street he stopped talking to or showing any affection to his wife and most of their friends stopped visiting her or talking to her because they still were friends with him and felt awkward about it (I guess?) so she was just alone and sick and dying and abandoned
evil

The shit of the humanity, my mom told me in England that Spanish people are demons. Rice??

Horsing around.

Buy it.

Buy what?

the filthy vagina discharge.

everything is true
everything anybody has ever thought

What?

maybe she was a bitch

Your son isn't a man.

hmm probably the director because the station probably was airing car commercials during that coverage of tribeca that was or whatever it was

Put it back.

Video unavailable

:(
what is it?

Did bro wank enough around my picture to pull his forbidden moves?

maybe you're a bitch

What?

listen she was most likely a cunt and if not only he left her but also their mutual friends left her as well, being terminally ill doesn't make you a saint

Ray Kroc, guy who is credited with creating McDonalds, actually stole it from two brothers (actually called McDonalds) and divorced his wife after she supported him throughout the whole thing but right before he started making money.

no it was most likely a case of "well she's of no use to me anymore so she might as well be dead so it's ok if I leave" which is sadly statistically very common among married men

This is izabel.

I kind of get into warhammer but litterally every single person without exception who is into it looks fucked and i dont want to associate

sort of like your mother eh
what a shame

Next time I go to maccie d's I shall be telling the story of Ray Kroc to staff

We go insane.

what are you having a go at me for? dickhead

I am wanking.

how come no one ever released a record that was shaped like a circular saw blade back when vinyls were the big thing? would've been perfect for a heavy metal band

why oh why did i wake up at 6

Jawless.

reckon boning that arse would feel good

The dire wolf.

see
this is what happens when your mother is a cunt
very sad

right well that's a girl wanking her cock

Hold on guys I had something

I had you in Starcraft II

ah yes, the yank feebly attempting "banter" in a desperate attempt to fit in but instead coming off like a middle schooler

I only have one peirbi webm saved but this one made me think for a minute of having a second one

being born in america is the jackpot

bit gay why did he post that

I will be gay.

Going to buy some nice bread when the shop opens

Gooner.

get a life

it would be a honour and a priviledge to teach the great director mr. david lynch how to use MS Paint.

noice

Southern ties.

A woman fatally injured by a careless driver begged her husband "please don't let me die" while lying injured in the wreckage of a crash, a court has heard.

Christine Jones, 68, was a minute away from her home in Thornton Hough, Wirral when the vehicle she was a passenger in was struck by a Peugeot 3008 car driven by 62-year-old Ian Ashworth.

She had been visiting her mother in hospital before the collision at 21:05 BST on 14 August 2023.

Ashworth, of New Heyes in Neston, was given a 12-month prison sentence, suspended for 18 months, after admitting causing death and serious injury by careless driving at Liverpool Crown Court.

Her mother's partner Bryn Jones, 81, who had been driving Ms Jones home from the hospital, was also severely injured in the collision

Mrs Jones' husband of 50 years, Alan Jones, rushed to the scene on Thornton Common Road after his wife managed to her phone out of her bag and call him despite her injuries, the court heard.

In a statement read at Ashworth's sentencing hearing, Mr Jones said: "I kissed her, promising her she would be ok. She said she was in so much pain.

"She said, 'please don't let me die'. I remained with her kissing her face and holding hands."

Mrs Jones, a great-grandmother, died in hospital from her injuries three days later.

Her husband told the court they had met on a school bus when she was 13 and had been saving money for their 50th wedding anniversary celebrations, due two months after the crash.

But he said the money had to be used for her funeral instead.

"I visit her grave everyday as I don't want her to be alone", he said.

"She was so afraid that evening and even managed to get her phone out of her bag to call me, desperate to see me.

"How she managed to do that with those injuries she sustained I'll never know."

no banter I'm being 100% serious
you are the way you are because your mother didn't socialize you adequately

barbeque and chilli

actually managed to make one of my teachers genuinely hate me when i was in year 4, she was always nice to other students but would give me little more than glares of derision
imagine being like 50 years old and having an active hatred of a 9 year old

The bladder principle..

well you are the way you are because your mother drank during pregnancy

I don't like it when people turn their socks inside out when taking them off

Nasty bruh..

used to love tesco's sundried tomato and herb bread
fuckers don't do it anymore

me neither, the lass does that every day and throws them on the floor, then i have to turn them the right way before putting them in the laundry basket

she didn't but I know quite a few people whose mothers smoked during pregnancy and they seem to have underdeveloped frontal lobes causing them to have immense difficulty interacting with others
maybe you can relate

used to love tesco's sundried tomato and herb bread

fuckers don't do it anymore

Follow her..

Paddy Pimblett, would have guessed a thousand professions before getting the right one

awful isn't it? does she squeeze the toothpaste tube from the middle or the top as well?

I've eaten poo

Trenton.

professional scouser

of course, the tomato paste too.
worst thing, she puts the fucking spoon she uses to stir her coffee on the kitchen counter which i have to wipe EVERY MORNING

new conspiracy theory just dropped

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Is it possible you are an otherworldly being trying to communicate with me specifically through code?

emma watson's?

he's a socialist as well lmao

I want it the other way.

black trousers today
so if they get wet in the rain it won't be as obvious as grey trousers

might start wearing a toga

should see the shit i am coughing up this morning its so fucking over for me

one of the lads at toil tattled on me for something i didn't think was a big deal (and still don't) and got reprimanded for
might offer to drive him to the servo at some point (because we go there for lunch sometimes) and then drive off without him

?

stop smoking

Blame it on the Jews.

I wish.

like a work thing you did wrong or like you were being a twat and he didn't like it

when roman reigns return

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It looked Aussie.

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he showed me a picture of his girlfriend and i said she was cute and he reported me to toilberg and they're acting like i'm a sex pest now
was just trying to be nice

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dont think stuff like this actually happens in real life outside of made up stories on the internet by made up people
none of you are even real

YESSSSSSSS
HERE WE FUCKING GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
SHELL GO PERKS!
CIROC VODKA!
JAMES CLEVERLY!!!!
TIMMIES!!!!
KATY!!!!
THE CRONEM!!!!!!
S-CURVED BATONS!!!!!
THE GHERKIN!!!!!
IT IS TIME!!!! IT IS THE TIME OF DAY!!!! FINALLY IT IS HERE!!!!
THREE CHEERS FOR 190!

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I need Emma Watson to poo on me.

i couldn't believe it myself but apparently he took it the wrong way, he's a two-faced cunt

So sad..

Get the small boats ON our shores
Get the migrants IN our women

At that point you may as well say you'd shag her then.

For God himself..

Migrants' bellies full.
Migrants' bollocks empty.

Luv my pensioners frozen
Luv my migrants pampered
Luv my timmies euthanized
Luv my katies stretched

Get the migrants fed
Get the migrants washed
Get the migrants medically checked
Get the migrants housed
Get the migrants shagged
Get the migrants paid

Brolly up today

pretty much, but in this scenario i know i didn't do anything wrong, even toilberg thought it was bullshit but he had to follow HR procedures

The psychic damage to every young to middle aged man in the world by YouTube's new ad system has been extraordinary. The mass seething. The road rage.

katy spotted with the cronem

you've got to have some balls to hike in america

woman cant handle it when you tell them you are unwell so they start pretending to me unwell also

don't get why people don't use an adblocker, takes 2 seconds to install
spend 5 more minutes and you can clear up any site by blocking elements
i don't even see recommended videos or shorts