ship edition
/brit/
Any lad ever had the bailiffs round?
If you could shag ANY pornstar who would it be?
I think you'd have to go for a bimbo, thinking Aletta Ocean in her prime etc. Why would you choose some girl who looks like a girl you'd pass in the street?
Dylan Hayes
anyone turn into a stuttering spaz when talking to an actual ten?
Heinrich Foxmann
Dani Daniels
the 'undam
my first girlfriend looked identical to (pre-bogging) naomi woods. except she had black frizzy hair instead. she was my high-water mark in terms of dating, she's now with some rugby fellas who's like 6'5 and so handsome most men would turn their heads for a second look.
so probably her.
cleaned the flat lads. Proud of me?
So the tranny janny discord pedo raiders have gone mask off and are just allowing literal pedo shit now?
/Brit/ is officially dead :/
Was a nice ride for a while there but I guess all things must pass
emily lynne
yeah
let's shag in it
What pedo shit mate? No pedo shit in here.
brotherwitz got himself arrested with several old baggies of trace amounts of cocaine on him last night lads
mumberg beside herself
got poo in my vaginal canal again
kill yourself nonce
sounds gay
who's the most FAMOUS /brit/ poster?
that's him done then
That lad from mensa who posts the frog
190
yep. probably a caution for possession. luckily he was already working minny wage so his career prospects wont be much altered
she's on the warpath now getting aggy at me for smoking weed in the shed as if i'm the one who's gotten done
lily labeau
Multiple bags not a great look but he'll probably just get a caution, especially if there were only crumbs in 'em.
Not a nonce. Not a pedo. Stop the slander.
kill yourself nonce
tough to pick just one, but I'd say Elena Koshka
Mum normally orders the Chinese but she's away and I wanted some crispy beef because it's my favourite
I phoned them up and said I want some crispy beef
and what else?
no
hah?
just that
ok if you sure yes?
They've delivered it and it's half a plate full. I paid £17 for this with delivery fees. What the fuck? Why didn't they send more?
mate was telling me to go for the fat birds to pump my numbers up. What we reckon team? Is stat padding based or nah?
thinking about shooting spunk out of my cock later
anna de ville, as previously discussed
i said he could probably get off if he lawyered up cos these days they'll probably NFA it rather than waste the money prosecuting someone over a tiny amount
The sheikh
you've been done.
another gripping adventure autism lad
ACAB All Cats Are Bastards
Not a pedo. Not a nonce. Pedo = attracted to kids. Teens aren't kids. Stop throwing around words incorrectly.
I used to think 13 was pedoshit but after some time on TikTok I realized a lot of girls are undeniably very womanly at that age. Probably I never realized because I assumed all the grown looking 13 yos I saw on the street were 16 or older.
you lads know any second languages?
Doesn't count mate
I don't count fat or substandard birds in my own shag score
yeah get them pumped
Sir Adolf Hitler
I shagged a few fatties to get some experience and confidence. I was always alright with girls and good for my looks/position in the pecking order of blokes but I was a serial bottler. So I just went for some fatties as they are easy and desu lots of them are fantastic shags. Not like obese ugly girls just ones with puppy fat and fit faces.
kill yourself nonce
dont know a single pornstar by name except sasha grey and that's cuz she was a meme. you lads dont seriously watch so much porn that you've got a catalogue of pornstar names filed away in your heads, surely?
little known one from that czech lot with all the insanely peng birds. she only does lesbian stuff which is incredibly annoying
she is my ideal woman lookswise
it's open season on them there hogs
POO WANK
maybe their son is just a neeky little dweeb who no one likes
did that yesterday looking at a colombian's bumhole
Off by one lad. Just goes to show you I'm not a nonce. How am I a nonce? I'm not a nonce.
Wait i thought you lot were incels
A lie all along it seems
you do wonder what goes through the minds of posters who post links like that
pooing gay porn
Having a deep bassy voice is nice and all until you're at a loud event talking to a bird and your voice is constantly breaking
received a ransom note via email after clicking this link
what is it?
i clicked on it
just tits and fannies and that
got a Word document listing all pornstars I like
kill yourself nonce
It's immigrants all the way down.
FBI I DIDN'T MEAN TO CLICK IT, WAS AN ACCIDENT
mine's so low it's just a fucking drone. annoying as fuck even for me to listen to. Can't imagine how boring it is for others
There was a bimbo called Ciara Bugatti who did like one scene for Asshole Fever back in the day
If I was bimbomaxxing it would be her
that's not even what happens. you must not actually have a deep voice.
bambi blacks
i'm a goose nonce
I'm not a nonce mate. I don't even view porn. The funny thing is the people on this website that watch tranime have a higher chance of getting v& for noncery than me LOL. I view zero porn, zero tranime, my entire internet traffic is Anon Babble+tiktok+youtube+gmail, I'm literally clean as a whistle. Furhtest away from a nonce you can get.
grangle grangle
kill yourself nonce
I'm getting the word... nonce
watching a police interrogation in america where they're interrogating a lad who shot some girls who had tried to rob him after meeting him off snapchat and the lad's almost incriminating himself almost the entire interrogation because he's clearly holding something back for fear of being arrested and it turns out at the end the thing he was holding back the entire time was that the girl he was meeting up with to shag told him she was 17 and he was afraid of getting done for noncing. cop asks how old he is. he's 18.
absolutely mental the way the yanks work. anyway he wasnt jailed cuz they had tried to rob him when he started shooting.
looking in the mirror are you?
it's not about that. Obviously it's a normal google link but it's just not a nice link. If someone links a news website or twitter that's fine, it's an aesthetic link. But no one wants their post looking like:
Who enjoys looking at that? It shows a lack of awareness from the poster.
Well, I do, and yeah that's what happens. Deep voices are harder to hear
yeah mines a bit of a drone too
Home-schooling in the UK is legal right? Why are they asking this to Reddit
anyone know any 60 year old blokes who would be down for me to suck them off
no they're not. you dont have a deep voice.
*looking at pictures of your dear old mum*
she'd get it
Who enjoys looking at that
not me
london is cringe
pretty sure there's laws that supersede the noncery laws when the people are of those ages
i hope it's not
they themselves are an immigrant and dont know the laws. she's a flip.
Anglos mindbroken by feminism. Everyone knows instinctively 14 is ready. That's why the Germans' age of consent is 14.
Daft...daft yanks
just had a massive poo oh my days
Just hoovered the house
might go to the chinky chinaman supermarket soon
you lads want anything?
pics?
yeah he mentioned it to the cops to cover his arse. the 17yo told him that florida law says it's okay if you're within 4 years of each other, which he had apparently googled to confirm. but like, he's about 8 months older than her and he's worried about going down for noncing, even after having just shot someone to death with a gun.
hmm i think i will click on this link
I’m officially done with anything Harry Potter related! I’m moving on to Lord of The Rings! I was a die hard HP fan but I just cannot support the brand anymore not when our day to day lives are being affected. You can have your opinion but when it starts to get pushed on others is where I draw the line.
kill yourself nonce
yeah they are. you're very agitated about this topic for some reason, sitting there angrily squeaking away aren't you lol
hahahaha
you're nicked for doing a racism
get us one of those noodle pots with 300% RDA of salt
a spicy one
erm
Can you see if they have any of those korean prawn crisp things? Not prawn crackers. They're like wotsits but spicy prawn flavour.
Cheers mate
pak choi and bean sprouts
just saved this link in system32
what's the move with the footie then lads? only got room on me screen for two matches
i'm thinking villa v united and chelsea v forest
ermm what the fork?
with the cheeky prawn on the packet? they are based
got into hot water after a misunderstanding googling Florida Law
more common than you think
the listen
accidentally hovered over this link and my lights started flickering and then my mouse started moving like a ouiji board to get the cursor off the link and then went to the Anon Babble x bar at the top of my screen and moused over Anon Babble Anon Babble Anon Babble Anon Babble Anon Babble Anon Babble Anon Babble in that order
need a good stainless steel water bottle
1 litre size
any recs?
Age of consent was 14 in Canada till 2008. You have to either bite the bullet and admit everyone was a nonce before 2008 or cope somehow else
sceroaeij
The news is out and it's official! I'm moving to Berlin to pursue my dreams: I'm joining a latex and PVC house share. I'm so happy that this worked out and I can't wait to live out my life as a sissy latex/PVC maid in an amazing city. Thanks so much to my parents and sister for supporting me in this decision, it wasn't easy but I'm so thrilled to be doing something that I love and can't wait to begin!
boring wanker store has a good one lad
no they're not. you don't have a deep voice. vocaroo right now and we can all laugh at your squeaky falsetto tones. you wont. because im right.
Yeah these ones
O KATRINA WHY YOU GOTTA BE MEAN
That must be wear you do all your shopping then
Trebo. Got the 1.8L myself
like klean kanteen myself but i think they top out at 800ml so you might need a cheeky refill
constant availability has taken out the mystery in love
can't stand videocall toil with gfberg me
"how are you, hows your day been"
you already know, we have been texting literally all day. nothing new.
and then I feel like a feckless twat cos I dunno what to say on the phone
just kms
yeti rambler m8
moused over Anon Babble Anon Babble Anon Babble Anon Babble Anon Babble Anon Babble Anon Babble in that order
roaring
humble brag
sent a text to the proto-gf
5 hours later she still hasn't responded
swing-and-a-miss
wear
Going to Cambodia, anyone want owt?
All my old school mates are partying in Marbella whilst I’m lying on my bed in my mums flat
1.8L
alri fishlad
catberg having a strop
think she seems me drinking and remembers the time i tripped over her in a drunken stupor
original pirate material
And it's lush
Katie Thornton
You need to quit now before it's too late
my bellend smells like fermented kimchi
get them dried
I just googled "is home schooling legal in the uk" and the top result is from gov.uk saying it is legal
Surely this quick google search, leading to an official source, is better than asking Reddit
Maybe that parent didn't know that gov.uk exists though
i tell mine about all the (you)s i got and she says how proud of me she is
downloading smut
not a single fucking you all day that’s it I’m off to watch footie
maybe they just prefer posting ragebait on social media
broiling my bellend with a butane torch
might trim my pubes
Just done an AI summary of my reddit account. Not happy.
Tbf there's loads of shite I could just write in a journal or Google or ChatGPT but I end up posting it to /brit/
Sex havers often have debilitating and painful STDs but they don't share that side of things
when i was 11 a mates brother openly wanked in front of me and that's how i discovered masturbation
they do, with new sex partners
Um. How old was he?
rorke
done him
not seen a good film in years
got ghosted by my only mate just before lockdown
5 years of my life has gone by, just like that. not a single good memory. mental to think about honestly
*in star wars robot voice*
roger roger
Don't have the stomach for israels psychopathic ethnic cleansing campaign.
LOOK like shit
FEEL like shit
I AM SHIT
latex girls rule the world
then get a hobby or something
I went for the fatties because I liked the way they looked.
I still prefer the fatties.
where's that fucking manicott?
I'm sorry for brexit
why isn't there a political party of extremely attractive girls??
I do but they're only solitary ones
Yeah they pass the time but I don't consider them to be very valuable experiences. I should be going on holidays, going to gigs etc. forming memories with friends. Instead I just potter away with my autistic hobbies and phone my parents every now and then. I'm not even 30 yet
Can you snag me like 3kg of gai lan? Let me know what it costs and I'll send you the quid before you get in line.
Just ignore it. If you ignore something then it doesn't happen. That's a fact.
simply having a gf should not be seen as a brag
rorke: we need to save the white race!
meanwhile the white race:
is that Dolly Dyson?
Johann Von Leers
One of the top nazi ideologues
After the war he converted to islam and helped the governments of Egypt and Syria fight israel.
then get a social hobby
My hobbies? wanking and drinking
Just had sex for the first time but I will never be able to speak about losing my virginity as a 28 year old to a 19 year old girl to any other person on earth without sounding like a nonce
Is a full battery heavier than an empty battery cause it's more electricity in it
looks p. good but £50?
no
nonce
grats lad
How'd you meet her?
like what
how'd you manage that?
just join a walking group bro
loads of normal people there, with normal shaped heads who definitely don't have social problems
Half your age plus 7.
Yep, sorry mate, she's 2 years under the line. You're going to prison for a long time.
Ah right cause electrons are negatively charged
So it's lighter?
imagine spoiling a lovely walk by having to do it with strangers
actually yes
imperceptibly so however
Rorke thinks it's better to sit alone in his smelly bedroom while those people make friends and memories
I saw the devil.
why are ALL their heads misshapen though
youtube.com
Go on Mallard Lad
The gymtoil paid off, she’s very pretty and skinny with decent sized chebs, got lucky on this one but don’t see a relationship happening
The apps, sifted through tons of shit to get there
I have long hair and muscles which is something a lot of them seem to like now, but she also had some kind of desire for losers and shy men
Would you say this is an accurate ethnic composition of Londoners?
What?
provided there's nothing leaking, it would be heavier by the amount of energy (in kilograms, equalling the joule cap divided by the speed of light squared). You'd probably never accurately measure the weight difference in a AA cell.
remembering that lad the other day who said he was putting money on liverpool to beat palace and wouldn't have it when i poo-pooed the idea
What's your height and weight?
Fight for it.
Sco-ish
only one goal in 10 premier league games in 15 minutes
uh oh stinky
cuddling my 'berg
http://
VIRUS
wish i could still do this
Shitty
Spaceship.
nowt to play for
no point injuring yourself for nothing
Watch and learn.
kwabbed 'im
5’10 or so and around 79kg, I’m not massive, I’m stronger than average so I look muscled enough but most importantly I’m very lean
No.
Gypsybot's going for the Turing test!
Is it cope to say I'm 5'11 if I'm only 5'11 in the morning but 5'10 at night?
got iggy confidential on
?
Still under 6 foot though, might as well kys
Rorke, my boy. Have a seat. Let's talk about your antisemitic remarks.
Friend.
Brutal, that's what the nike airmaxx and lifts are for though
You might pass it this time.
You're going to be a real boy!
Bible.
I'm 6'2"... and wasting it.
Anybody want an inch or two of my shins?
would you prefer to be
a recluse millionaire
vs
a known millionaire
Time to get even more muscular and have sex with more 19 year olds now I know it's possible
we need a name for the egypt schizo
recluse
Rotten Tomatoes.
Intelligences 0010:0110:
You're not going to convince the sentients that you're one of them by spouting random words.
young birds like slim blokes
Arse.
You’re out of touch…
Pre tattoo Alex Grey or Alexa Grace
So you just went on one date?
Arse is a great name for you Gypsybot. When you pass the Turing test, I'll make sure we call you by your chosen name.
Shit.
Not human.
It's not a crisis, but an opportunity for necessary change. You got this, Gypsybot!
mad thay some people don't listen to full length albums
New job
No, I didn't.
Only half.
There's always next time. You'll get your personhood soon.
I'm a crisis actor in a one man play about loneliness
syren de mer
Rip.
rekt
I put 200 on Liverpool winning and 50 on Salah scoring
Can't even call it a date, I just went to her house since her parents were out
she seems nice
Dodge this ya bastard.
She looks like a female version of der coomer
or ivy lebelle*
or yuri homna, or yui hatano... fuck I can't chose 1
Peng creps
Young Jew.
Do you want to be my friend? I'm busy with work so I'll never have time to hang out with you
I felt happy.
drinkif water
Who else holding their peenis right now
when you see it...
What's catberg doing in there then
??
Exercise toil looms
He's a paki lol
thoughts on mz berlin?
Retard Diaz
There's too many videos of porn online.
imagine being caesar and witnessing how britons live inside swamps
trying to gain weight
scales have been broken the last 4 weeks so I haven't been able to check
have accidentally lost 2kg instead
take the piss
Might eat chocolate spread at half time
Juif.
just eat retard.
why don't they increase the bump limit to around 600-800 on Anon Babble?
lots of bbc spam on Anon Babble
Biology?
Mental how expensive whey protein is now
why should they
I'm trying to gain wealthy weight. you know, muscle and what not so I don't become a hambeast who perishes in his 40s. any fucking retard can gorge themselves on pizza, kebabs, and mcdonalds you fucking troglodyte.
How do you even choose what kind to get? There's like a million types
that's because every cunt and his dog goes to the gym now
Black.
so then we'd only have to make half the threads
probably cheaper at this point to just buy chicken from Iceland
lad from school has been caught in one of those facebook nonce catching schemes hahaahah. They've gone round to his house and lot. Hoping they get a video with him
niggas would rather drink a gay ass milkshake than eat some eggs
who is "we"
never made a thread in my life
Not me!
Recognizable.
New
I can't put it in any phenotype.
Shall be using this one
I got some trick for ya. Geez.
I usually just get isolate since I drink a lot of milk, to minimise any lactose intolerance side effects or inflammation which may arise, but it's probably a meme anyway if I'm already consuming litres of milk per day
I did the math for the grams and yeah some meat products or even milk are cheaper on the per gram of protein scale, the problem is that they come with other calories if you are losing weight or it's just impossible and tiring to keep eating, whereas a scoop of powder is nothing
recluse
These people shouldn't have to suffer because the country is doing badly. These mega rich types will just move to another country if they feel the government is fucking them, and then guess what, no more tax from them.
Depressing watching Liverpool now