/brit/

/brit/

poo smells lmao

I have to leave for work now. For my 4AM shift, you understand.

dead for over an hour but somehow survived and made a full recovery

crikey. how is that even possible.

E "nofap" é ciência desde quando?

he was dead but he got better

Incomprehensibly grim

cannae wait till janny come home

no fap is pseudoscience, it can be helpful as an exercise in discipline and your testosterone does go up only a bit for the first few days but it levels out

feel bad because there was at least one good person posting on /brit/ but then I had to go and eat my sandwich

never seen Alien (1979)
never seen Jaws
never seen ET
never seen Jurrasic Park
never seen any Indiana Jones
never seen any Pirates of the Caribbean
never seen any Star Wars

I simply do not give a shit
seen every other big film though

I want to move to your beautiful country
I want to be surrounded by English people
I want to go out and hear all your wonderful accents
I want to experience English culture, the good and the bad, in all its glory
I want to wake up every morning with a mission to learning something new about your country and its history

jurassic park is the only one worth watching if you didnt see the rest as a kid

*farts profusely to get your tongue out of my arse*

will swap

google says they kept shocking his heart and it didn't start beating again on its own for 78 minutes

Have you been?

didnt ask

you have to stop posting the frog cartoons before you can do this

you literally did though

Making a bone flute

unironically desirable

Yes, twice. First time was just to London and some of the surrounding areas. Second time I explored more of the north of England and lower Scotland. Wish I'd had the time to go down to Cornwall, that place seems cool.
It's such a wonderful experience to be able to go to a foreign land with familiar yet strange customs and actually be able to interact with the locals in the language you're fluent in. I've been to Spain as well, and although I learned a bit of Spanish in high school it's just not the same when you can't freely express yourself and say whatever you want.

fockin

dont think i did actually mister

I love him

am cheekylad
a will do what a want x

fun fact:

British Empire was never superpower

in england you can say whatever you want

thats not fun at all

freely express yourself and say whatever you want

categorically untrue

ugly girl

thank God this would NEVER happen in America!!

*jumps up to the ceiling of the thread and refuses to come down*

porn addiction rotted your brain and now you think ugly girls are hot

happy sinko del majo x

this man just say it is

ahoy matey *fires the poo cannon*

E onde foi que eu disse que ela é bonita? Anonzinho... não é meu cérebro que está com problemas...

AWOOOOOOOOOOOOOGA

start doing this
<---------------

i exclusively shit in the shower

idk bro when i read all these posts with americans saying how much they love our culture it weirds me out. nothing about this country is worth admiring.
our own leader said being british is about loving scones and driving a range rover. dead country held up by a first world city that has been taken over by third worldies.

epic trvth nvke

it was good once

IT LOOMS

so was egypt and iran

i'll keep using this

for me, its a rain shower

i love brasil girls
very bonita

for me, it's half a spoon of the spittle of a red and blue cockerel

folk remedy for balding is it?

love showers like this me

think I'm over sex lads simply had too much of it

you have the same blood as newton, darwin, byron
what happened?

Sexy bonita Brasilians Oh oh oh sim, querida, assim mesmo, estou quase lá, oh oh oh

was a great decision to get one installed in my shower

Kaaa ka ka ka ka ka ka ka ka ka kaaa~

he had to wear braces

HAHAHAHAHHA YOU GENETIC FAILURE HAHAHAHHAHA WHATS WRONG LIL GUY?? JAW TOO NARROW TO GET NORMAL TEETH??? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA INCEL

ww1 and ww2 ruined us

no, this one is a detumescing cure for far too bulky male tubing

Fructicious Chuva de chuva linda e sexy, mano, ooh sim, baby, estou quase lá la la

well, you should stop listening to your "leaders" anyway

need a sexo gf

Shit just hit the fan
All fubar
I’ll keep you posted

should be pooing in the toilet really mate

fructicious sexo mano eu quero fazer sexo com aquele baby

an indian-american physician from Mississippi is still richer than british viscounts

For me, the arse shower is superior

she finally found the piss drawer?

Thanks for going to the gym with me today Anon! I'm a hormonal mess because I'm going through menopause.

WYD?

thats a man

wonder what mousey is up to these days

turn 370 degrees and walk away

Mating Press

post her best scene(s)

shit makeup is really hard to get off

>I really appreciate you inviting me out for dinner tonight anon! I've been feeling down ever since my husband went on a business trip to Thailand with his colleagues for 6 months.
WYD?

Don Draper does not approve

shes very ugly now

imagine getting turned on by grannies

At mates house

Take a sneak peak inside his mums room

See this

"Anon, I didnt see you there.... you know I've been lonely ever since my husband died. My son hasnt that been nice to me since he passed.... I've been looking for a big strong man to take care of me"

She lets loose the gown tie, revealing her perfectly sculpted 40 year old thick mummy body.

WYD?

*imagines it*
ok now what

yeh alright mate give us time to contemplate your other posts

keek

Can go pretty old. Think maybe mid 60s. I've exaggerated this ability of mine in my personal life and it's had devastating consequences.

imagine getting turned on by grannies

very low t male vibes

do you like this?

Baby Making Sex

u get 48 hrs w her. wyd ?

och a just cannae accept that mousae left us and got himself a bird

lick her feet and pits, drink her piss, and eat her hot steamy logs

Why has this thread turned into a gooner ERP general?

state of this loon

Thanks for taking me to the nutritionist today, Anon! I'm a hormonal mess because I'm going through menopause.

WYD?

nothing
I don't shag coal burners

same. but i make an exception for your mum

According to Forbes, as of 28 April 2025, Thiel's estimated net worth stood at US$19.1 billion, making him the 102nd-richest individual in the world

"Coal burners? What does that mean, anon? It sounds so silly. Let's have some fun on my bed."

WYD?

begone with you, vile harlot

"getting better" by the beatles but it's in minor key and call it "getting worse"

wish i were a billionaire

but you would shag a slut who has a body count of 50+ but none were black?

i shagged your mum. so yes

would you....do anything ?

Billionaires by Forbes are just nouveau riche. Old money patricians dont care about it

whatever do you mean?

my mum is married to a black Central American

not even joking

yeh? refute this then

if you come to the Chop Gate spring car boot sale two weekends from now...i will...show you...

Oi’m ‘Arry Potta innit love?

I love England because you guys have the best MILFs/GILF of them all.

disgusting

busy then im afraid. plus i dont want any cheap secondhand tat

my collie fur...is fresh

she's not even the hottest aussie cumdump, savannah bond clears

not much a woman could do that would make me not want to shag her really
if she's fit I'll fuck her simple as

go over to mate’s place to play some CoD

he runs to shops to get snacks

bored, wander around house

hear humming from upstairs

it’s his mum, door half open

she’s doing yoga in the living room wearing tight leggings and a tank top

turn to leave

“Oh hey anon... didn’t mean to tease you. I just get so *tense* without a man around the house…”

she stretches deeper, glances back at me

“Maybe you could help... relieve some stress?”

WYD?

might put all my money on red

Are they sweet?

at mate’s house, he's out grabbing energy drinks

wandering the halls, bored

notice his mum’s bedroom door slightly open

curiosity.exe

peek inside

she’s lying on the bed in silky red lingerie, scrolling on her phone

she looks up, slow smile

“Anon… didn’t expect *you* to come in… but I’m glad you did.”

she sits up, lace clinging to curves that defy her age

“It gets *so* lonely here sometimes… especially with no one to tuck me in.”

she pats the bed beside her, eyes locked on mine

“Close the door, won’t you?”

WYD?

not really. a tiny bit maybe. a little salty too.
there are multiple varieties with chocolate on top

wtf is up with all the coomer posting

I'll tell you what I'm NOT doing mate and it's reading a word of that

cut her up like i did that boy

chilling at mate’s place, he's in the shower

get thirsty, head to the kitchen

his mum’s there in a silk robe, sipping wine

robe clings to her like a second skin, little too much leg showing

“Didn’t hear you come in, anon…”

she leans on the counter, cleavage basically waving at me

“You’ve grown up so much… I remember when you were just a shy little thing.”

she steps closer, fingers trailing the rim of her glass

“You know, I’ve always had a soft spot for strong, quiet boys. Want a sip? Or something stronger?”

WYD?

alri albert fish

raping my arse with a candle stick

mate’s at work, said i could hang at his place

his mum answers the door in a towel, fresh out the shower

steam still clinging to her skin

“Oh… you’re early, anon.”

she smirks, towel drops *just* enough

“You gonna stand there, or help me dry off?”

WYD?

Impregnation

Your mate is gonna be out of the shower in a little bit. it's not like you and her are alone

nononononono no no no

she leans in, whisper-hot breath on my ear

“Then we’d better not waste time, hmm?”

grabs my hand, leads me toward her room

door clicks shut behind us

“Be quiet,” she grins, “unless you *want* him to hear.”

heart pounding louder than the bathroom fan

shower still running... but for how long?

WYD now?

let's ask janny what he thinks

cum n shid in my pants

COLONEL MUSTARD
IN THE LIBRARY
WITH THE CANDLESTICK

janny kicks down the door mid-stroke

“NO FUN ALLOWED”

bans me for 3 days

his mum winks at me on the way out

worth it

would commit wholesale slaughter in order to suck hitomi's tits

heater's not coming on again so I gave it a stern talking to

listening to Pet Shop Boys

I take seven kids from Columbine, stand 'em all in line
Add an AK-47, a revolver, a nine
A MAC-11 and it oughta solve the problem of mine
And that's a whole school of bullies shot up all at one time

MY THROT IS DRY

oooh west end girlsss

throt

whats that?

;-)

yes that is one of their tunes

I used to get punked and bullied on my block 'til I cut a kitten's head off and stuck it in this kid's mailbox

it's scary me!

please respect my privacy

want to play a game?

win “fuck a fan” contest with belle delphine

show up to the hotel nervous but hyped

she opens the door in pink cat ears and nothing else

“H-hi I brought you… uh… my… my bathwater collection… I mean—wait no”

trip over my own feet, knock over her ring light

faceplant into her chest

start crying for no reason

“sorry i’ve never touched a girl before”

she giggles, pats my head like I’m a lost chihuahua

“You’re cute when you malfunction.”

WYD?

the competency crisis is coming hard and fast

Why am I watching you do this?

good

throt is like frot but when you rub your necks together

cut her up like i did that boy

win “fuck a fan” contest

I am not a fan of this woman and would never enter such a contest.

I will tell for the last fatherfucking time

you are a fan of this woman and you would enter the contest.

you won!

Imagining a scenario in which Emma Watson farts in a casual manner during a conversation and acts as if nothing happened.

My husband is dead and I need sex now

WYD?

Cheers

well that gimmick set the record for fastest filter addition

where are they?

how can you filter the gooner posters?

She's clearly lonely after such an event and I would not exploit her for sex even if it's what she thinks she needs.

The cat did not deserve it anon

Too young

Yes

Bet

Now I’m imagining a scenario where Emma Watson has the same gross tendencies as Amber Heard, defecating in strange places.

Too young

she is in her mid 20s

range banned again

Too young

she's 25, lad

we're at work mate give it a few hours

a smile might be good

quit loligagging

Hm

howling

morning lads

If they aren't old enough to either my mom or grandmother then No.

you need the filename dumpass

righto cobba. see you then

typed out a sinister and evil post...too foul to post here...

afternoon fella

you're mentally ill

Good

what are you going to goon to today?

some men are just destined to rvle....

i dont need shit you melt

Send some sexy ladies

what's with the egyptian flag bot

belle delphine used to be cute but now she's old and busted

not him but gay fart porn

Subtle

Waking up on my day off. Time to play with my cock all day!

watching videos from the british museum

belle wannabe

There was that spot

your pineal gland screaming out as it shrivels and calcifies from all the cooming

you live a miserable life but pretend to be having a great life on Anon Babble

Anon Babble’s bot detection system must have taken a hit after the hack.

she's got better tits but yeah it's weird an e-thot phenotype has emerged

Let's be realistic, dude.

"You are mentally ill for being straight"

Ok, i can live with that illness.

hope it's ready for the utter punishment i'm going to give it today
i'm having a great time thank you very much

Time to play with my cock all day!

Was so good to be stolen from me

based post more mummies

Twei ein drei

new toilberg starts tomorrow
nervous

Take the ein

who wants smoothies?

Five oclock! Time to shit out of my own fuck

i hope he does this to you

Ancient Egypt

didnt happen

when does /brit/ decide to cum while in the middle of an intense goon sesh?

gayncient peegypt

DO YOU WANT A SMOOTHIE OR NOT

Grow up

Mongolian MILFs are something

quack

oi leave my bf alone

amazing face and breasts. she really rocks that makeup.

smoothies

geese do not quack, they honk

they quack in this country

ohhhh... I hate mongorian

kia ora

ni hao

you're wrong

how do we solve the birth rate crisis in the uk?

youre wrong and youre a grotesquely ugly freak

I dunno

get rid of feminism
its that simple

rhymes with cape

deal with the incel problem once and for all

what would that do?

incel vibes

you're entering dangerous territory

everyone was

I did not put an apostrophe in mothers
blame the bastard autocorrect

obamna

What?

Lads?

Why should he?
WHY CAN’T PEOPLE HAVE FUN

Open up the bottles

I’ll honk up your fucking arsehole mate

don't you wish

You owned me