/brit/

first for poo

unlucky lad, one horse out

first for a big day out

ouch

You ever need us to ‘probe’ anything else, give us a shout

"how could rockstar do this to him?" asks the BBC

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so heatheryank are you completely unable to walk or are you just a big fat bastard that needs assistance?

knife crime unfathomably increases

klart simpson

say what you want about mallardlad but he knows how to dress

Feeling a bit down in the dumps. Might but a pizza and a crate of lager to temporarily cheer myself up

Just enquired into prices at the local David Lloyd gym
£144 quid per month on a 12 month contract and a fucking £200 joining fee
Guess I'll just stay fat

she farted on my dick

might look good if he wasn't a flabby dyel

klarc simpson

imagine caring about video games at 27

He's in desperate need of a clue

Billions must enjoy the York train museum

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don't go the gym on the basis that I'm fat and that people would look at me and probably have a good laugh about it later

Just go to your local council gym. Fuck David Lloyds. Full of posers

are you fucking joking?
look at the state of the fit on the jacket the hips are as wide as the shoulders
his sihoulette is completely fucked
retards like you mistake dressing well for dressing "smartly"
his shoes are the only accepatable thing in the photo

i'm absolutely furious right now

he's furious because the release of the game is only time this non entity gets any money.

who the fuck is this dude and why does the BBC report on complete strangers.

I'm not whoever you are talking about. It seems I've rattled the runt cage.

might play some l4d2

A clue lost like sand in the wind

pussy fart or regular fart?

yeah how to dress like a middle aged man

didn't wear my retainers so now my teeth are all wonky x

oh so you're another incel that's obsessed with a post from 8 months ago that everyone else had forgotten about is it?
alright carry on

on the 3rd 330ml heinkekin
going to be a long evening

Thigh burns

144 per month, what the fuck is that, do you get sex with gym hotties on top as well?

blog on you insufferably boring bastard

on the 3rd refill of the kitchen tap water into my empty 1.5L Volvic plastic bottle

In rub the militant right wing part of the green party

careful mate another 14 of those and you might start to get a bit tipsy

3 small cans of beer

gets battered

are you like 50 kg?

neck yourself you failed experiment

David Lloyds is owned by TDR Capital

TDR Capital was founded in 2002 by Manjit Dale

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well you get to perv on them in the spa facilities at least

get a pull up bar and some rings, or just take the rings to wherever you can hang them at park or summat

mmmm microplastics

just do bodyweight exercises everyday
I do pullups and pushups in my room and I'm in decent shape

project on

i think he means he's gotta drink another twenty

mental how shit english tap water is compared to clean pure scottish tap water

how many can you do

OK groomer = the ultimate takedown

t. boring bastard
would rather have a thread filled with blogposts than your shite pointless arguments

my house is spotless. spent most of the day cleaning. feels very nice

We're David Lloyds give us your money

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why does the BBC report on complete strangers

he's black mate

Are you inviting a lady friend over?

You get what you pay for.
PureGym is cheap but full of deano chav runts.

Small price to pay for being fit and healthy desu

my arse is spotless. spent most of the day douching. feels very nice

ah shit beers are not on me lads

Best incelcore film?

the gf is on her way over.
but i like a clean abode regardless

Harry ... Harry Potter?

Who's really pulling the strings

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cos u want to do your boring blogging you inane fuck you want to just post into the void fuck off

Having a train run on my arse by Chads

im letting the ex gf stew in her bad decision of fucking me off
she'll know soon

loooooool seething

On the basis of today's results Reform UK has 30% of the projected national vote share, with Labour on 20%, the Lib Dems on 17%, the Conservatives on 15% and the Greens on 11%

Quadrophenia

if you think the bbc is bad you should check out our cbc sometime
they often rerun stories from years ago just for rage clicks but they don't even have a comment section
here's a sampler from 2023 they reposted a few weeks ago:
cbc.ca/radio/nowornever/first-person-google-dating-form-1.7009572

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should've done ew

I am :)

nuff a dem know i rock these pumas when i'm feelin fly

PureGym is cheap but full of deano chav runts.

Tarq midwit physiognomy

formulating a poo

who made you arbiter of what should be posted?

project on

Taxi Driver

Like polo shirts but i am very aware theyre beloved by indians and arabs

LOL

How do you feel about Kevin Samuels

lmaoooo. reminds me when i was on a date and she asked me if I knew who andrew tate was (this was when he was starting to blow up)

Eternal sunshine of the Spotless mind

Browns are biomass.
All of the world from Algiers to Rangoon should be depopulated.

not going anywhere, just going to sit on my fat arse in my computer chair, anyone want owt?

why was this picture taken

Alright Hitler it's Friday night aha why not take it easy x

used to wear a buttoned-up polo when I went out because that's what the deanos at toil wore. looked ridiculous looking back, I didn't look smart I just looked like an incel in a polo

orchestrating a wank

hope she cheats on you with a bbc

gayboysayswhat

Nothing wrong with them, only look like a spacker if you are buttoning the to the top.

*inhales* whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat...? x

I pronounce project like pro dject

what

hezbollah? ore like his bollocks

regretting not buying those angus burgers now
I wanted to make burgers today

wish i could pass a big blunny spliff around the thread like ioni

I am soon

sex with womens fannies

id stub it out on your forehead

I made angus burgers last night

illegal in starmer's britain

angus thongs and perfect snogging burger

Who did you share those with then?

three burgers rorke
three?!

Don't disagree with you

reckon I'm the best looking lad in /brit/. easily a solid 8/10

im a 9/10

lad from uni has had his Instagram account hacked into by a scam Forex trading pyramid schemer. What a silly boomer he is

*stabs you*
nuthin personnel wyboi

are you sure?

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I'm handsome but a bit mentally ill haha

she farted on my dingaling

fancy a bum?

injecting myself with pig genes to gain the ability to orgasm for 30 minutes

alri geezer
how's the old bollocks hanging

least delusinoal brit poster

im ugly as fuck and look like a hybrid between an evil rapist and an ogre

didn't win my £10 free bet so going to have a £10 bet of my own money and I know that's what they want but I'll just win then

making some epic tacos

why does diego think he's in an incel forum

*starts driving around in the thread*

Mousenonce is genuinely more likeable than diego

i am lol

installed 4chanxt just to filter him because he's been ridiculously insufferable today

paying for a gym when you have endless roads to run

paying for a gym when you can do pushups

lmao

just clarted some peng ting with my wyboi shlong

I only finished two but I could do three and I'll probably do them again tonight

The sauce was a combination of ketchup, mustard, mayo, salt, pepper, garlic powder, and cayenne

Me? 6'6 8/10 accountant but I'm too autistic to lose my virginity. Things could always be worse lads haha

hs?

its not even the real diego
he left ages ago

alri chuck berry

Lads will British ministers be dragged to the Hague for their complicity in the Gaza Genocide?

They look delicious

English local elections live: Farage says ‘it’s the beginning of the end of the Conservative party’ after sweeping Reform triumphs
Starmer acknowledges ‘disappointing’ results as Badenoch says it was ‘always going to be a very difficult set of elections’

second time you've said that to me today but I had sex last night and quite possibly will be having sex again tonight

A piece of flatwood is more likeable than diego

Because he’s less insufferable than you, what explanation exactly do you want

"sure" you did mate
that's why you're here at 6pm posting about it on a friday haha
"sure"
least delusional brit poster

getting memories of the gay club again

Two nights in a row is grim. Such is the married life.

Would rather shag wide night 1 and femboy night 2

where is mousey

okay steamingtoil is officially underway
prepare for some absolutely atrocious posts

explication for your insanity i suppose

Might take mumberg cave diving

wanking the singular bollock

Can't be worse than the diego incel rants like a barking dog

Reform are doing very well in the elections. Can't wait for the Senedd vote so i can vote for them too

still need to go to the shop me but i cant be fucked

Of all things to slam for being a "waste of money" you choose something that keeps people healthy? bug off

If you're going to splurge anywhere make it on your health. Yeah you can run on the roads. You can also use various equipment at the gym/swim there/play sports etc.

the parliament is the lion dear boy *swings cane*

only had to pay $20 in duties and taxes on a $900 purchase

blessed weekend

hes just mad he gets intellectually RKOd everytime he rears his head here

opened my second can quite nice to know someone else is drinking

Simon western could probably get more birds than me as hes famous and a war veteran

what are you on?
just poured a ginberg here myself

I will be shortly lads

GET ON THE BEERS
GET ON THE BEERS
GET ON THE BEERS
GET ON THE BEERS

what's that

giving the 'cohol a rest cos I always turn into a right demon after a few pints

feel fucking sick

grim alkie twats

ugly evil lad?

reasearchers have found that you should get on the beers

I will be on the boozer tonight too lads, I'll probably be making a lot of posts about immigrants

is it weird if I'm straight but I shave my legs and wear tennis skirts

lads what should i get from the shop
was thinking ciders

*graduates with some cum loads*

don't know what to do during steamingtoil can't think of a film to watch might just get the tunes on early and post shite

No booze for me for a while
Got into the habit of overdoing it
Not good

not him but I do turn into that sort of person yes

3rd can of japanese hard lemonade down the hatch

thickest cucumber you can source and some vaseline

quite like this new captcha, its nice and easy to read

blog on snorelord
hs?

'Straight' doesn't exist, I could get you in a situation where you'd gladly fuck my arse, likely after a few drinks haha.

None of you are gay or non white right?
Its all just in jest correct?

Try spirits lad. You're in a beer rut

ktim not gay at all but if a lad hit on me I'd suck him off no questions asked

drinking a beer myself right now
got the prefab sprout on

sun comes out

so does caribbean music

cheap whisky and ginger beer

i'm voting reform, why aren't you?

is it worth having an actual selection of decent hard alcohol and mixers and stuff as someone who would only ever drink alone

Running doesn't make you strong
Pushups are a meme exercise

rorke bloody benchod

with your wad of pip?

itsa lovely

so fucking hingry but girlfriendberg woke up late and had "breakfast" an hour ago so my burgers will have to wait an hour or two

kektim. mad how it sneaks up on you and makes you feel like shit and wanting to kill yourself all of the time

utterly bizarre question

i wish

How much were you drinking lad?

How the fuck can we answer this for you

you can always tell how fancy a county is by their lib dem vote %
plebs will vote tory and reform and labour and green no problem
but the libdems are reserved for tarquin

got no mates

wondering if I can make myself mentally healthed enough to get PIP or whether that ship has sailed now

get the burgers made
get the gf fattened

Women aren't funn--

Er, rorke mate...

got a headache so away for a lie down lads x

camgirl i'm watching has got massive tits

bottle of wine and four pints of stella per night usually

Well if you have a drinks cabinet or something

maybe take some lsd and go on a mental psychotic break

what's a common name you hate
english names, obviously

hope you get better soon mate x

cor link?

Conservatives dead now are they? lol

no paracetamol?

stupid whores

all of them

cor that's a good idea. sudden psychotic break is an impenetrable backstory

stuffed pretzel crust pizza inbound

Josh

I’d lick the skid marks out of her undies.

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got some proper sausages from the butchers

my brother's called josh :(

Dale

And here's me feeling like shit for drinking 4 pints once a week.

I’ll proper sausage you in a moment sunshine.

you do realise the same factory makes sausages for supermarkets and butchers don't you

sausages for dinner > sausages for breakfast

Callum
Jake
Mason
Ryan

Absolutely wrong
Categorically

just had my 3rd wank of the day and feel physically exhausted really shouldn't be doing this in my 30's

yeah we get it mate
real funny
keep doing it

inb4 spencer, hurr durr so funny

cobblers

only get this when hungover then i need a few really grotty imagefap or dogging porn filth wanks to get it out

got some absolutely abhorrent posts lined up for this evening

roasting
willing to bet good money there is fanois waiting to be shagged tonight

Don't worry the jews will breathe new life into them just as soon as they are about to perish for good

remember being like 8 and meeting a connor and being so jealous of the name
state of little me

sausages

food for children

nonce

Me too, I'll be going late into the nights. Have a few posts about my anal fixation too, including fingering my own arse.

oh my days you can't really believe that butchers have access to super secret sausages
utter mugs

I respectfully disagree

pornwank commencing

no toil today lad?

Do… do you think the things you write are entertaining?

bizarre post

yep quality topic keep it up mate

usually when I'm drunk I start uploading photos onto /brit/, it's a miracle I haven't doxxed myself yet

a based wank to the kino porn is it?

...prefer not to say

had six myself, I think it's the weather

by oiled up obsidian hard african totems

got the BIg chips

wondering why the fuck I'm not so hungry

fogot the toilberg took me and a few of the toil Sadhbhs out to lunch where I also got the BIG chips

I have the BIG cans too, lads.

um

oh my days

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yeah and ive got a BIG cock to go up your arse

First started when I was about 13 lad. Ever smelt the anal juice that cleans your arse out? Holy fuck dude, musky as hell. Nice actually. Feels like your arse is prelubed.

is that what the big four accounting firm PwC stands for?? porn wank commencing??

you're foul through the screen

that's too much chips

Lads, in other news, warm days = chebs on display at the toil

dont believe you

Why do you talk like you're mentally disabled?

haha

thanks

unfortunately my toil enforces a uniform

I am on benefits and PIP

continually drinking the beverages
no law against it

*points out the flag*

grim alkie cunt

There will be if reform don't get in

Toilberg mates have gone home early leaving me to deal with any problems that might happen while there is a big confrence going on downstairs

cheers, mate.

Yh gotta get dem bennies

still havent been to the shop fuck sake

do it while you can will be banned when muzzies are in charge

I had that feeling once

gimme an account

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