Linens 'n Things edition
/brit/
Thinking of getting into stocks
thanks for making the new mate
become an ISAbro
When I was in Pattaya the cleaning girls at the hotel would always stop and bow when you walked past
get a stiffy for girls who wear bright red lipstick
locked
cant make this shit up
In the UK there’s now a trend of girls getting their lips tattooed red
ever plan on making a funny post?
get tae fuck
Doing a constipated poo
they're all the same person and if they're not they might as well be
Fosters, good call!
shagged a prossard in a brothel once and she kissed me on the cheek after i spaffed all over her tits, both of which may be considered extras which i did not pay for, think that meant she liked me
um
no one likes you
might move to Aus so I can smoke meth and shag SEA teens
don't care
young and hairless
you clearly do
you care so much you're willing to pay someone to pretend to like you
puffy nipples
You deserve a public execution
no, i paid someone to let me put my cock in them, i'm not delusional
Got any shrimps on the Barbie cobber?
lost PE kit
no mate!
underdeveloped
big egg cracked in my hands - just as i was about to drill it
we have got to eradicate the nonce menace
BLONDE BAE RESPONDED TO ME
WE ARE SO FUCKING BACK
smognobble
Growing up is appreciating holding hands and hugging more than regretful sex
*bends you over right there and then and gives your bum a right seeing to*
Real love is wanting to go hungry hippo mode on my wife's asshole despite never wanting to eat ass before in my life
if i ever get a gf shes not allowed to shave her armpits or bum area
one of my ragrets in life: not watching the lord of the rings films in cinema
i missed out
Got a massive cunting migraine, I planned to have a wank now too.
Genuinely fuming.
*a mouse trap snaps over your cock and you withdraw it screaming and hopping around as I, still bent over mind, give the camera a sly smile*
had a bad headache and had a hot showerand a wank and it was instantly cured
*flashes lights in your eyes*
*pokes you*
*camera cuts back to me, I rip the mouse trap off as my face turns tomato red and steam starts shouting out my ears*
WHHHY I OUGHTA
how long did you last at Anon Babblebrit/ before slithering back here you spineless little men
kek
do you mate yeah do you have a really sore head yeah?
ah if only I watched ze lord of ze rings in ze cinema honhonhon surely my life will nevah be complete wizout it honhonhon
the post /brit/ needed to see
and for rorke, i have simply one question: whatcha gon' do with all that ass?
smognobble! *I build up a run on the spot and then zip off so fast I leave clouds of dust behind, and my trousers. as I zoom along a long path and over the hills in the distance, a shocking assortment of objects tumble from my bare behind*
ah yes, the south african autist
here's the thing:
fuming over the entire tax base of his country fleeing to america
#SaveTheBoors
love beans me
eating beans
oi! OI!
that's one of my signature pics!
turned against me...
DIS NIGGA EATIN BEANS!
Broad beans
all i ever wanted, all i ever needed,
is here, in my arse
Black peiple running around London without a damn care in the world, no regrets, no fears, just living their best life.
You end up becoming something you never intended
POOOOOOOOOOOOO
POOPOO
POO POO PPOOO OPOO P OOOO
poo
btw, poo though
STANLEY POOBRICK
poo poo
watching a music video on an official youtube video and there's no captions available other than auto-generated
whomever is responsible for this kind of egregious sheerly neglectful unprofessionalism should be killed
In this universe, we process time linearly forward
Black youths running around London.
Free and wild.
Enoch Powell spinning in his grave like the seething old Tim Tim he is.
We love to see it.
try to buy sex toys last night
payment declined
have 1000+ in account
try credit card and it declines too
From my understanding and research, nationwide blocks payments for gambling and sex toy websites to prevent gambling addiction. WTF. Now I've had to contact various people to try and get blocks removed so I can buy dildos and butt plugs. This is fucking nuts.
Might need to redo the ol' CV
Got to be super duper in this modern age
just done a big mr smelly in the bog
The Raped.
accidentally flashed my willy in front of mumstein earlier when i stuck my hands down my trackies to scratch my leg
wonder if bum rape (of a woman) carries a harsher sentence than fanny rape
How is the Israeli embassy shooter anti semetic?
Just use ChatGPT to do it like everyone else.
Don't forget to lie too. You can't lie about where you have worked since they can check that but you can just make up what you actually did there. What are they going to do? Ask your last employer what you did? Yeah right. The company that I work for (finance) pay a third party company to do background checks and literally all they do is get some poojeet to check if you have a criminal record and if you really did work at maccies between 2011 and 2012
never met a normal or mentally sane south african
too much for BBC to handle
accidentally drove on the wrong side of the road for a second when i was pulling out of the maccies drive thru
that's what happens when you've grown up playing grand theft auto i suppose
Fosters, good call
What's the ideal length of an employment entry on a cv?
is it still correct to have only your work history on the 1st page? sometimes feels like there's not enough space on one page for it
mum's been rummaging and found the piss bottles. she hasn't brought it up with me but she's moved one of them in a way to make it obvious she's seen it
mate PLEASE give it a rest, australians are real people with real feelings and we deserve to be treated with dignity
just opened my legs and my unwashed for 3 days arse STINKS
my last job required a degree and i didn't have one but i said i did and they didn't check it
there should be a site like vocaroo except with smells where you can record smells and share them here
nah but seriously lads, are we all good?
My beautiful bride
average 25 year old femoid
actually I've been having a pretty rough time of it recently
kek this happened to me several years back, she called the GP and ambushed with me with him on the phone and i remember him asking "So Anon, I hear you've been storing uhh..urine in bottles?".
dread to think thats on my records
jowl game stronk
Is she holding weed?
me picking up my niece from nursery
have jannies eased up at all on their draconian bollocks since the hack?
i noticed that the wait time to post from a new IP has dropped from 15 minutes to 2 minutes, so it's much more convenient to evade bans now (not that i'd ever do so haha x)
Sometimes I wish australia had real racial banter like the us and uk do
how can you take one look at the absolute state of this thread and then use the word 'draconian' in relation to the moderation policies
piss take
FBI took over during the down time
mine looks a lot like that except white
he looks like he probably suffers from the same tight foreskin issues (but not quite phimosis) as i do
well obviously the circumstances aren't great right this minute, but i mean just petty stuff like slapping you with a 3 dayer for saying the nigger word or simply for just shitposting in a way that annoys them so they file it under "off-topic"
Top o the morning to you laddies
chives my spuds whenever people complain about such and such being "allowed" in the thread and complaining how "when i do anything i get banned"
the mods ARE doing their jobs, these twats are just ban evading, bloody victim complex buffoons some of you
two cider pints please barkeep
hi catyank
too right mate too bloody right
rangeban belgium from Anon Babble
catyank what are your plans for life?
imagine being a cat
what does Jay dyer think about dressing up as a woman and meeting up with other men for unprotected anal sex?
not doing yourself any favours with the janny allegations here catyank
peace and love bruda
^_-
heard that catyank is an evil rapist
I'm gonna go in the woods and look for gnomes. I found two last week.
he love cheesburger and chip
really actually kind of unbelievable that people are trusted to drive cars and navigate roads with nothing but painted white lines and a few signs with relatively few life-threatening accidents occurring, even though at least 70% of drivers drive like totally inconsiderate reckless wankers
did you ever play tomb raider and wank staring at lara crofts arse?
buying a plot of land in the hollywood hills for $275,000 and camping on it
looks like good chips, nice length and they look crispy. Hopefully fluffy inside too.
i've witnessed lives of some cats.
their lives were solitary, poor, nasty, brutish, and short.
never quite gone that far, but i do like checking out her bum
it's a shame they toned down her sexiness for the reboot trilogy, i mean she IS sexy, but she doesn't do anything suggestive, like in anniversary when she pretty much sat on that guy's face while pointing her guns at him
hollywood hills
Depends, if you've been hopping between jobs quite a lot then I'd just give the last 5 years.
If you've stayed at some places for a while, do 10 years.
Basically, you don't want to draw attention to the fact that you won't stay at a place for more than 6 months or a year because then they'll think "what's the point in hiring this cunt if he's just going to fuck off at the end of the year?"
no i only played the first one I think and that was before I started wanking and also pretty sure her arse was a literal cuboid
hahaha this one like hots dog
solitary, poor, nasty, brutish, and short.
ktim
ktim
ktim
the great coral beef
Is it cringe to hike by yourself?
huh?
idk who that is
no but it can be dangerous
always let someone know where you are going to be which trails you'll be on and when you plan on getting back
pop. oh yeah?
yes and were all going to laugh at you
doing anything by yourself is cringe
zoom zoom
this one loves the boba tea!
bober kurwa
don't like dogs me
Oh my days
hurtuv
who told you that?
idk what that means
Very slavic.
It's weird when you see him not being Agent Smith.
Bloke I worked with went hiking alone, he'd go hiking literally every single weekend and would post pics on social media. Sometimes he would go with other people but most of the time he'd go alone.
He slipped and fell on a trail a few weeks before Christmas and cracked his skull on a rock. According to the coroner, that probably didn't kill him right away and he likely just bled out, unable to signal for help.
Very grim, if somebody was with him they could have called for help and got him airlifted to a hospital. He was only 33
Get rid of it.
had too much 'roin and now i'm nauseous, think i'll just stick to pharmaceutical opioids from now on
Genuinely bizarre gimmick this guy has
Wailing and contorting his face to very specific scenarios
it pisses me off that david bowie went to audition for elrond and had wanted the role forever but peter jackson didn't want to give him it to him because he thought it would be distracting and then he gave the part to that guy who everyone immediately reacted to by going "lol is that agent smith lol wut"
believable until you said you loved the french
a confused and silly person
We have an in-house AI chatgpt do you think it’s a bad idea for me to use it to take apart a job posting from another company? I want to extract all of the keywords and then have the bot rewrite my resume using them
didnt happen
I'm sorry that happened
*nauseated
the heroin is nauseous.
The grudge
Hey
hmm
I don't think these cats are real
Embarrassing to admit but I'm absolutely hooked on Instagram right now.
TikTok is just zoomer slop, Twitter is a bunch of sad little virgins larping as tradcaths and Facebook seems to think I want to read articles about every single violent assault, burglary and rape in a 100 mile radius no matter how many times I say "not interested" on the articles.
Meanwhile my Instagram algorithm is locked in. I see K-Pop babes dancing about in short shorts and drunk people fucking themselves up by falling down the stairs. Also when I click "not interested" on something I'm not actually interested in, it fucking works as it should.
Thanks for reading.
Space
Stay safe x
ah, always wondered what the difference was and which term was more appropriate for what
Watch a real movie.
i wanna be like you just like you
we can go hard
i'm addicted to you
Sell
what's the appeal of watching that kind of dancing idgi
speaking of wanks, how old were you lads when you had your first wank?
It's a straight guy thing, don't worry about it you zesty poof x
might skip showertoil tomorrow morning because i took one today and didn't really do anything strenuous, and i'll be stinky within an hour of toil tomorrow regardless of if i've showered or not, and THIS is the real kicker, which is that it's getting a bit chilly in the mornings lately and i can't be arsed
but I am worried about it! that's why I asked!
sharon osbourne had a dog named crazy baby
Rorke still hasn’t recovered from this has he?
Murder.
12
remember getting a rush of excitement through my naughty bits when i hung upside down on the monkey bars in a certain way when i was 8 or 9 or so, didn't know what it was at the time though obviously
the parrots are about
Career ending
lorraine bracco tits and ass
don't talk to the paedo
Could be worse?
Which side of the bus is he sitting on
why was she so fit as dr melfi but kinda grim as karen hill?
spainpaedo as it were
I didn't see flying cars in the future.
Dr House just shoved a knife in a plug socket
The Jews are far.
nice
nonce
dr milfi awooga awooga cum up her fucking shit pipe
Dr Mouse MD
don't question it rorke, it happened
give the patient 50ccs of rat yaoi
cant tell if any of these posts are actually things that happened on the show
everybody lies
The French dap.
it's something he might do to shock his heart or something
9 days
I hate catyank
Alright
i suggest filtering americans. makes this place so much better
get the yanks filtered
There's absolutely no reason why you shouldn't be spending a bit of your monthly income each month on this
no im not all right heathermong my thread is full of circus clown freakshow people like yourself
Right am off for a drive
Hate me if you wish. I have already won.
beautiful british men love me
had never heard of this phaistos disc but its some bronze age cretan thing with what appears to be a writing system that hasnt been found anywhere else ever
pretty cool huh?
please dont reply to this saying youre a bronze age cretin
Israeli embassy being hit by assassinations
We /Turner Diaries/ now
get the skyr bowl made
get the phimosis disc read
get the lip plate fitted
runts like you are only bullish when line go up
no doubt will be crying when line go down
dentistberg may be the laziest person in the country
what kind of hours are these
dentistberg may be the laziest person in the country
have you seen the average brown person?
windows -3000 installation disc
got a hard on for that girlfriend of henry hill's in goodfellas (you know, the cokehead one who looked like a witch, but like a sexy young witch)
it's cute
is your name happy.. or miserable?
An Australian woman set a childhood friend on fire after he made a comment she “should be in the kitchen baking scones if she can't handle drinking with the boys”
if a zombie outbreak happened how ubiquitous do you think gagging and shagging the female zombies would be?
Had a dream a /brit/ thread hit bump limit in 2 minutes
It will go down, and then it will go back up again even higher
People act like BTC has 'peaked' because some shitcoins can outperform it if you are insanely lucky, but it hasn't even begun yet
cant even post in a thread without getting filtered because of autistic freaks who are in the same country as me
suffering
are you talking about debi mazar?
he should stay near a sink if he can't handle conflagration with the girls
aye
lalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalala
The raped.
she was best mates with madonna as I recall
probably a witch in real life :)
babylonian kids were playing with stuff like this
XD
I don't like the adverb 'arguably', e.g. "/brit/ is arguably the best general on Anon Babble". If something can be argued against then you wouldn't state it as fact.
Charls Carroll knows Jay Dyer.
youtu.be
it was a babylon yam
ya heard?
i reckon non-japs who unironically read manga should be killed
anime is one thing but immersing yourself that deeply into that freakish culture is, to my mind, complete justification for euthanasia on moral grounds as well as compassionate
at the very least you should be closely monitored and kept away from children
WALT DISN BEDSHITS
TOUCH ASSHOLE
CUM EVRYWHERE
Happy farm.
cheeky midnight scran x
Ok, I am Polish.
ok
almost 3pm, you know what that means.
that's right, it's when the sun hits the window opposite my room and the glare does my heads in for an hour
she married a man 8 years younger than her
wonder if she taught him a few things about how to shag a fanny
calm down m8
Thanks for your service..
i hope you read this again and feel sorrymasen for it
'ton 'ohn 'rted 'n 't
arguably the worst post on /brit/
Looks like Elton John farted on it
60000 BC bear leg made into a flute by neanderthals in slovenia
magine a neanderthal band
EEEEEEELLLLLLLLTTTTTTTTTOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN
Get rid of it.
Honestly, Richie Aprile did nothing wrong.
inb4 beansie
The transmission slipped out of gear
Puke.
i don't have any sins to atone for because i'm not going to hell for being a pedophile
sunberg has done you right in
like a kipper no less
hit it grug
WOOOOP WWEEEEPP WOOOP WEEEEP
Shut up!
am i going to hell
might RAPE some LOCALS
He's right. Anime is for nonces.
rasheed
magine a neanderthal band
must be rock music lol
Get an Italian here.
feel like absolute arse, should've had all that heroin and those pork sandwiches earlier
brad
ly
rorke didn't think i'd try this...
shouldn't've*
you'll have to excuse me i'm quite geared up on heroin and pork
should I make the new?
Karl Pilkington, what are you doing in Egypt??
Nuke Australia
i have two specific playlists on spotify, one called the "inoffensive playlist" which is full of songs i like and i feel can be shared in the event i'm ever in a situation where i'm at a party or family gathering and need to put something on, it shows off my taste while also being full of great songs that most people would like
on the other the other hand, i have another playlist called the "offensive playlist" which is full of songs about sex and poo and women's private parts
Do you inject the heroin or what
snorted, not got any needles on me
Aussie moment.
good thread lads keep up the good work in the next one yeah
um ok satan
What if I did it? XD
have to be up for toil in under 7 hours so i'm afraid i shan't be accompanying you to the new thread, have a good one lads
cheers numbers lad. Been putting the graft in on the threads recently
egypt ai poster gives me hope dead internet theory isn't true, but confirms one day it will be
magine a site with good human mods
Make it
no
this is the last ever /brit/
on the last /brit/ with the lads. What a ride x
No it isn't be quiet
ok