/brit/

plymouth is actually an alright place

ah yes the memories

having a sludge wank

come off it!

Bro how are you going to my childhood mall and taking photos?

cheeky chwank before bed

um.

might move to telford

reading about The Curse of Wan King

Yesterday you said you'd call Sears.

i miss toby so much

WeightWatchers files for bankruptcy as fat-loss jabs boom

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Goodnight /brit/ :3

Fella came up to me in the street and said “Coвpaть пo-cвoeмy – вeдь этo пoчти лyчшe, чeм пpaвдa пo oднoмy пo-чyжoмy; впepвoм cлyчae ты чeлoвeк, a вo втopoм ты тoлькo чтo птицa!”
Don’t know what it means. Probably some kind of Polish gypsy curse.

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don't cry because it's over smile because it happened

the watchers were brave people. they used to watch everyones weight go up and down, up and down. now they're gone. sad.

mumberg won't be happy

I cannot say that I miss Sears, they were always the last place I’d go to buy new appliances and clothes.

*fucks you into bed*

If I lived in Aus I’d spend my free time smoking meth and shagging SEA streetwalkers

i'd spend it doing upside down wanks to angela white and drinking in hotels

THOSE WERE THE DAYS MY FRIEND

angela white the horsefaced barmaid

id flush the toilets to see if they go the wrong way

test

They say you need to keep your lawn nice and trim so you can keep the pests and vermin out.

But I say invite them in! I want squirrels rustling in the grass and tiny mice running around. I want noisy birds leaving seeds on my doorstep. I want to walk on nutshells when I leave the house and step over trails of ants

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Shit.

Play-off contenders by promotion odds, from favourites to least favourites

Championship

Sheffield United

Sunderland

Coventry City

Bristol City

League One

Stockport County

Charlton Athletic

Wycombe Wanderers

Leyton Orient

League Two

Notts County

Wimbledon

Walsall

Chesterfield

Who will it be, lads?

fuck off

I'm getting more of a seared bite

not gay but I've found myself cumming to solo male content a lot recently

sounds pretty gay to me

Can't finish the paki 'za as I'm on ozempic and feel full

*enters /brit/*

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Sunderland, Charlton, Wimbledon

White male main character in GTA6 is gonna propel the lust from third world women even further.

META works directly with the Israeli government to take down anything remotely critical of Israel — and now here they are taking down a critic the day after he won the Pulitzer Prize for Commentary.

insane to think while i'm in the middle of having a crazy goon sesh with the lads in discord there are terrible wars happening around the world and people being genocide'd.

Same
I'm straighter than a big straight cock but gay porn is peng

I need ozempic. my big fat belly is insatiable.

second day of no vape
haven't even craved it

get the fat fucking bellies posted

Going to bed. Can someone say goodnight to me? Nobody has said goodnight to me for a few years and I reckon I miss it

two tier kier has absolutely fucked it hasn’t he

jews would not be able to oppress the white race if we all adopted the teachings of this man

I've lost 12kg in 4 months. Just another 27 to lose

do you think it will be like gta5 where you have multiple characters, i want to be a fat guy sometimes

Goodnight big fella x

Walsall not least favourite

they've won a single game since February 22nd and that was on the final day against a team that didn't give a shit

mental

*kisses you on the lips* goodnight lad

you got any loose skin yet?

I DON'T CARE WHOSE NEPHEW YOU ARE
WHO YOU KNOW
WHOSE DICK YOU'RE SUCKING ON
YOU'RE GOING OUT

science has shown that there is an alternate dimension where everyone is gay

whats your method?

that's the current dimension we are in

Not yet, belly definitely gonna get some though.

Ozempic

if i was fat i would just straight up starve myself until i wasn’t fat anymore simple as

love those ds9 episodes
lesbian kira fuarkk

How about your boyfriends cum

Can I have some?

might start making outsider music

How much of it did you eat?

Three quarters

i'm not a diabetus rex can i still get ozempic?

project harder gay fatty

third world women

yuck
I deserve nothing less than a white, first-world woman like all my ancestors before me

drunk man outside going UUGH UUGH UUGH:

considering cheese on toast but i dont want bad dreams

i’m a faustian ubermensch constantly accomplishing heroic feats such as going to the grocery store and buying groceries

WHO WANTS IT
WHO FUCKING WANTS IT

sick to bastard death of palestine

you play the guy and his girlfriend

Collecting posion apples in oblivion remastered

607 unc not the punk

I was a turncoat, but then I kept turning until I was OK again

wanking my willy in oblivion remastered

the girlfriend is trans

just had that steak stack ffrom macdonalds. not wroth it

this is pretty hard especially if you look like a creep

Whiskey is no where near as nice as cider

As a 31 year old man who is currently balding,
I can tell you it sucks. Even though it's natural,
it is hard to accept
It is a constant reminder that I'm getting older and nothing can stop that. Sympathy to my balding brothers.

started balding at 17
imagine that

hop on fin asap

Asterix is the small one and Obelisk is the big one

Getting a bit sick of women and minorities to be honest lads

immune to this feeling because I started getting grey hairs during my GCSEs

don't understand vtubers and honestly it gives me the fear

rorke wanking zestily

feels like greying is a non-event in a man's life, certainly when compared to balding

shoes that arent trainers are too small at the toe and too loose at the ankle
or do i mean heel
dont know

just try a different size

the fear was the name of an old artist that drew simpsons porn

going to eat a digestive

not him but greying is a non event. ive started greying in my 30s. doesnt bother me at all.

mug's game lad

there's one that just spawned into existence a few months ago and has millions of views
it just doesn't make sense

Wonder what happened to the coffee frog aussie

part of me wants to have a big stockpile of booze but I know I'll just drink it all over a short period. Want cider more than anything now.

ive started greying in my 30s

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need some good present ideas for mumbergs birthday lads

got 24 porn tabs
plus 29 normal tabs on brave
and 16 tabs on chrome

need too get rid of some

write her a poem

cute
i currently have 900+ porn tabs in chrome

my phones like that, i have like 140 porn tabs in 2 different browsers just in case i want to go fap to some of the greatest hits

mother of pearl opera binoculars
babylonian tablet
painted porcelain pigeons
strange oriental tapestry
some cool things ive seen on auction sites this week but was too gay to bid on

dunno why thats funny, he is in his 30s mate.

corr where did you see a babylonian tablet

I close all my tabs after I use them

a signed and framed photo of pope francis

yeah i'll jack off to this later

tab last opened 639 days ago

is there anything scarier than dementia lads

i suspend mine

black guy crossing on the same side of the street as you

time for bed

dementia, nothing scarier

the worst thing is the tabs were all opened in my afternoon goon sesh. dunno why i thought id watch 10 hours of porn. i did manage 2 hours. but i dont want to close them because there is some good stuff and lately ive struggled to find quick wank material on the go.

i am a man who has been through many things.

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eating a kabanos

for me, its losing my memory to dementia. nothing scarier.

just make a bookmarks folder like a directory
if you're already a massive coomer at least be a well-organised one

If you watch pornography, you are a literal cuckold.

Sitting there like a faggot stroking your cock to footage of other men having sex is the literal definition of cuckoldry.

If you get mad, it's because you know I'm right.

When you're going through hell... keep going

It's up there. Of real things full blown schizophrenia might win it for me. Psychos are scary too.

fuckk tesco is about to close in 2 minutes and 30 seconds and i want snacks

is there anything scarier than dementia lads

yeah dinosaurs rawr

What if I wank to other mens cocks and bumholes?

what if i get a gf? i never leave a trace of my porn/internet addiction.

nuclear war

world war 3

humanity-destroying plague

being unable to distinguish between reality and fake

Lots of things.

It's up there. Of real things full blown schizophrenia might win it for me. Psychos are scary.

If you're gay/bi and it's solo male, then it's fine.

But even if you're gay, wanking to two other men having sex with eachother is still cuck shit.

(caution: virus)
bidspotter.co.uk/en-gb/auction-catalogues/eddisons/catalogue-id-eddiso12298/lot-ee0b979b-5c19-46b8-a69b-b2c900db34f2
bidspotter.co.uk/en-gb/auction-catalogues/eddisons/catalogue-id-eddiso12298/lot-bc539fc2-b9c9-45f4-b6e4-b2c900db3564
probly just says some boring shit like urk-shamezzah was rationed 5 grunks of beer and 8 tuzhabs of wheat 49 out of 60 days into the 2 sixths in the year after the plateau bandits raided the holy cedar mine
looks like theyve got some on ebay too

the only thing scarier than fear is fear itself

arrested for going to the pub?

sad
no fun allowed it seems

Reddit thinks I need therapy. Honestly maybe I do. My food addiction is out of control. Porn and internet use is obsessive and nearing addiction. Drug abuse is habitual and ive been in and out of addiction for years now. It's all getting a bit much.

You wouldn't have that problem if you didn't hang around in the fucking ghetto.

she'd probably know or guess anyway
i don't know you, but if you have a serious porn addiction you will probably show less interest in women irl. even if you get a gf you'll be less interested in her than you should be, and she'll detect that

why do these idiots always feel the need to post shit online? nobody would have cared what they were up to but they brag online and now they need new doors fitted because the police kicked in their old ones.

so lonely
so alone

yeah thats true. i doubt i'll ever get another gf. spent too long on my own. and i cant afford to perv on women irl. id lose my job for one thing.

Why do women date men who watch porn?

As a guy, if I dated a girl and found out she was watching degenerate coomer garbage online, I'd dump her within 5 seconds. Zero hesitation.

^3^

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this is my world today

They hate porn and complain about it all the time on CC

nth for the baddiedem

Good.

Men who watch pornography should be completely ostracised from society.

majority of men do it
women have little choice

ah yes that bastion of good mental health

if you're bald please join my discord

well... get to it boomers

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<3

30+ man discord goon sesh happening in 10 minutes. can't wait tbqh

they're not crazy and just a bunch of sad gals

is that r nora

unrequited love.....

got the ol' willard out

injecting gasoline into my testicles

I miss 2022.

yh, I only caught the last 10 mins but the vlog should still be on her twitch

some of the blacked scenes in the mid 2010s are genuinely high art

I genuinely hope you get severe and debilitating cancer IRL.

that's a fella? blimey.. he's fuckable af

here we all are
us girls

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remember when the internet was called the information superhighway

just clicked this link and an ancient sumerian demon appeared in my room
its standing in my kitchen fully erect (im trying to pretend i havent noticed it so it hopefully goes away)

I call it the Titty Tardis because it's way huger than you realise and full of pics of girl boobies

Need advice lads:

Meant to go to mental elf appointment tomorrow but they been quite rude to me recently and I was really depressed over the last appointment. Idk what the time is even honestly. Should I just not go ? Feel like a mug chasing around and attending because she was quite nasty last time and it made me very depressed.

oh it's not up yet

he's piff

i remember when it was called the cyberverse

she was quite nasty last time

she probably just told you to stop being a pathetic waster and you couldn't handle it

wouldn't mind a gf who watched porn but it depends
if it's bbc stuff then yeah she's dumped but if it's lesbian then i'd let her have her lesbo fantasies on the side

would absolutely LOVE to lick a girl's bumhole

It's all trash.

A woman who watches porn is likely 100x more degenerate than a man who watches porn, because watching porn as a woman is far less socially acceptable. Thus the only ones who will do it are the real fucking wronguns.

A woman who watches porn is likely 10 times more likely to cheat on you.

would absolutely LOVE to be shrunken and shoved up a girl's bumhole

how do you get it? is mounjaro a good substitute?

surfing the web

erm...

yeah but if she cheated on me with another woman i wouldn't care so long as she let me watch

You realise that is literal cuckoldry, right?

Just because it's woman x woman doesn't make you not a cuck.

wake up take drugs brush teeth

nasty how?
i once got chased out of therapy
the guy was a little paki who had a go at me about drugs
i got up to leave and he followed me out
told him to fuck off
and he called the police

statistics pulled out of your arse
no fun allowed

watching porn while in a relationship IS cheating

Ready to hear something fucked up?

Im gay

autistic

I have aids

made mozarella sticks

no sauce

wipe my ass with the sticks for flavor instead

This is my reality

He is a good player but not a leader so I think he has been given the captaincy as a diversity hire.

just got approved for a new credit card. $30,000 limit. dont know why they gave me so much

drugs have worn off. not hungry anymore, at least. might pop a valium or two and get to bed

don't care it's hot

my credit card offers absolutely no perks whatsoever
wonder if I should apply to a more prestige one

all the worst ideas are JEWISH

I get free AA cover and double Boots points with mine

same thing

find it incredible how Kelsey Grammar isn't a humongous racist after what they did to his sister and father

lidl breaded haddock fillets in the ovenstein

he is a staunch republican
he very likely is
but he wants to retain his lucrative career of course

leftypol's best buddy

he is a staunch republican

really?

learning about botany

i dont have a credit card
really need to sort out my finances
had to give away 2k to a family member, that was my emergency fund
then had to pay 1300 quid to the council or id get a court summons
owe 320 to the water company and im overdue
got a 600 quid car repair coming up that needs to be paid in cash
only got 700 quid until pay day which is still 8 days away, except my isa that i dont really want to touch
might set up a meeting at the bank to close my empty savings account and see what credit cards they offer

all republicans are racist are they?

they are all gay, jewish, black, indian, or blackmailed pedophiles at least here in the united states

blacked JAV goonsesh on the cards

Forruns really don't understand British culture. Drugs are British culture from the scum class to the elites. Forruns just see you as a smackhead, dumb as fuck.

She was nasty. She questioned if I think drugs did damage to me (it was clearly self medication, my first period of sobriety which was a year in adulthood was agony), liken me to her over dramatic mum, blamed my actions in me. Like I know I fuck up a lot but that is exactly what I am trying to address. I'm ill
And they've given me a lot of medicine. I don't need a bollocking for my life being shit. If I was doing nothing about it, sure. But I've failed uni twice, fucked a lit of jobs and other chances. Diagnosis is bipolar btw.

Now they're implying I'm lazy and just play vidya all day??? When I'm not unable to move, I don't touch my pc at all for days or weeks. When I'm depressed I'm in bed or on my pc because I can't do anything else. They're taking the piss. I try fucking hard as fuck but then they fob me off with "do chores and stop vidya".

Honestly mental elf workers are pretty cunty

racism? more like basedism

Iran Warns Trump Renaming Persian Gulf to Arabian Gulf Will ‘Bring The Wrath Of All Iranians’

thirdies are as sensitive as nitroglycerin

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yes
yes

I hope you get terminal cancer.

What?

She claims I'm over dramatic yet I only contacted them once in a year to ask for anti depressant medicine because I hadn't moved in 3 weeks. Flippant comments like that and accusing me of just being lazy and playing video games fucking infuriates me. Totally assasinating my character and making me feel like shit. I have a small ego but when I'm gaslighted like this it's infuriating.

Why?

Nice.

Post hand + timestamp or else you're a white cuckold.

umm it's actually just more aesthetic

No, it's cuckshit.

Having a fetish for another race having sex with your race's women (or any other race's women) is the literal definition of cuckoldry.

It's not race-specific either. A black man who gets off on his women being fucked by white dudes is equally a cuck.

And cucks are subhumans who should be lined up against the wall and executed by firing squad.

was contemplating a wank but i dont reckon i will

how come every mtf trannie just ends up showing off their willys online anyway?

ah.

OI THATS NOT ALLOWED HERE

Fuck's sake I just had a wank already

because trannies are degenerates and perverts?

I asked my sister if I could date her coworker and she said no because she is 35 and I am "only 22"

will never understand the obsession with this show it was utter wank

Human rights did not begin with the French Revolution

True or False?

The French revolution is cool because fuck monarchs I wish the Uk would have one

can i feel your muscles

I agree. It was extremely repetitive and unoriginal. It was truly slop by a pair of easily controlled midwits.

oh the children are doing their gcses/a levels/uni exams right now
imagine having to revise when you've got a climactic football game on every day, the bloody eurovision, perfect weather outside before it gets too hot

couldn't be me
sad!

Never did revision or studying. Boring as fuck. All the kids obsessed with grades seemed linked to their ego and popularity. Entirety of school felt like a massive waste of time.

Jews created the idea of human rights in order to justify stealing Palestinian land after ww2

yeahbnot to mention the repeated trips to the gherkin

Wouldn't mind doing some bottoming but my arse hole is quite ugly

you were just a thicko
now you would be labelled "adhd"

Formal education is overrated anyway. We've had it here for 150 years and most people are still as thick as pigshit.

Began with some philosopher like the French fella who isn't descartes and kant

Did very well at college and uni when I did give fuck. Institutionalized midwit normies are suited to school because they confirm easily. It's why me under achieve. But oh year, you're being flippant and ironic because it's /brit/, kys.

500cc of golfballs up the neghole

Neds urban sports

Wow autocorrect

Just realized, /brit/, that you can search your photo library by keyword on your iphone: chess

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alzheimer? i barely know her

wish i was a workaholic out of all the aholics it seems like the best one

Keyword: black people

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i love ben finegold great players of the past

Spotted over Pakistan

youtu.be/eNNJrHR53ZA
this music doesn't fit the video at all, it's too grandiose for just boring shots of abandoned buildings. the only time it fits is during the demolition part. hack snyder did it better in watchmen.

That does sound nasty. Yeah they just dont get it, the self medicating. The feeling of being frozen by anxiety. Thankfully ive never been diagnosed, although they tried when I was younger. Never took their pills either. I dont trust the medical establishment. From the pseuds who practice therapy, to GPs, to the head of the NHS.

Told a Russian girl she was beautiful in Russian

Everytime I tried to get help from them I was told to go for a walk, to the pub or go to Sheds.

Brits don't have good weed

business idea: pretend to be a Russian girl online

smoking some lovely stuff right now

probably should talk to my doctor about my bouts of depression
but what's the point

Never smoked weed, I have smoked that stuff that comes as a brown block and you burn it a bit and the scrape some off and add it to a rollie.

Evidence for your PIP claim x

Britian seems like a fun place to get high. I know someone who did lsd in the London underground and was stuck there for 12 hours thinking he was on a space ship

You used to be able to buy a house in the Sears catalog. We used to be a country

yeah you shouldn't bother doctors with minor qualms

Yeah its shit for normies who feel blue and a bit lonely.

thats hash

sounds like a fucking idiot

Plans for VE Day?

need to shower and brush my teeth
pop to tesco
could use to do some cleaning round the house
hopefully my car parts will arrive in the post
might watch a film

New

He was standing still and scared because of the pakis and schizos I didn't think London would have schizos

kracava cyka

ill be watching triumph of the will