Dorian Yates edish
/brit/
decided to shower
congrats
why are incels into bodybuilders
im a spacky mong
with a spacky dong
im a spastic
protoplasmic
repressed gay desires
You couldn't fool your mother on the foolingest day of your life if you had an electrified fooling machine.
and who are you
Sir Spacker Mongdeville
does our planet get heavier when we add more buildings
yes
some ghostly force just moved my laptop a few cm wtf
cannot believe how good it feels to scratch clothes labels. best feeling in the world but nobody seems to get it
It’s funny to me how the Turkish tourism TV ads are the only ads on tv which are completely white no diversity
grub egg
Just replaced my plastic toilet seat with an elite pine wood seat.
huge vibe upgrade that no one is talking about.
Cheeks embracing natural materials
do you not have bog roll in your toilet? weird freak
why would it be in my toilet?
just seen a video of a guy vaccinating stray dogs with a blow gun haha
where's the toilet paper you ghoul
safe with me
Morning lads. Another day of misery and squalor is it?
haha
beardberg in dire need of trimtoil
needs a potent wizard beard tincture on it asap
Yeah, also got a bit of wailing and gnashing of teeth pencilled in as well. Enjoy variety me.
Need Emma Watson to release an utterly disgusting plume of pooey, eggy fart fumes right in my face.
doing a charity boxing fight on saturday, never had a proper fight in a ring with rules before and was told yesterday the person im fighting has an amateur record of 11 and 1
how is that fair, im gonna get my head punched in reckon if im losing bad im going to try kick/knee him in the face or something
still can't believe the woke mob took the sugar out of irn bru and we did NOTHING
a nation of sheep
wood absorbs poo particles
in 5 years its going to stink of poo and all sorts
fart lollol
10 years
10 fucking years
You've been posting this for 10 fucking years
bin day today
WHO PAID YOU TO GRAB DUNCAN PLOWEL?
never understood who the cia was talking about in that scene
knock his fucking block off mate
aaaaaand you're seething.
my cheeks will be hard cumbered and battle ready and you're just jealous because you prefer porcelain over wood
and yeah you're gay
i'll just make another one anyway
Worried about the global market lads
leftypol doing a boxing match in aid of the communist party and getting his shit kicked in by jamal
my cheeks will be hard cumbered and battle ready
what sort of battle are you expecting, lad?
remember that time as a child I tried to stand up for myself to teenagers when they started shouting abuse to me at the top of a hill while I stood at the bottom and shouted back "the circus must be in town because all I see are clowns!" and they all ran down the hill and absolutely clobbered me with a jumping punch as I stood there and screeched
off to toil now
my cheeks will be hard cumbered
my cheeks will be cucumbered
Pseudoscience nonsense
aggrevate a trained fighter that's already beating you up
genius idea
whats it like getting beat up
its varnished you pillock
last day to max out your isas
just had some peng sardines with chili oil now im going to have a delicious coffee
lol
yh me too la *throws off duvet and slithers 4 feet to my desk chair*
did the roids shrink his balls tho
the circus must be in town because all I see are clowns
does it really matter?
nah it shrunk this lad's by mistake
still seethe about when I got new boots years ago and when me and my dad were going to get cobs for the family from the pub my dad said 'c'mon son get your virgin boots on, we're heading off'
hateful bastard he is
*jumps and punches you *
mr writer
why don't you tell it how it really is (8)
I actually need to do that thanks la
can't make heads nor tails of this post
Stuck in the middle with you.
so do i but donny t has decided to make the stock market shit the bed so im too scared to put it into s&s. may have to cash isa it
Alri gerry rafferty
You dont want to buy low?
i am involuntarily celibate
is it legal for me to get my NEET brother to invest my excess money as he doesn't earn enough to pay tax?
morning dee lads. i said MORNING DEE LADS x
pip money a bit light this month
dogberg at vet today
arrest this man
Sir Chubby Chaser
what for lad? have to take my dog to get his arse glands cleared, i know you can do it yourself but can't fathom shoving my fingers up my dogs arse to drain the smelly bacteria from his arse glands you see
dog owners are disgusting
ear infection
fr
woke up once again with my mouth wide open like a gormless twat. Need to fix that i do
dogs dont belong in urban settings
daft bastard has he got big floppy ears
I’ve eaten poo at least once.
yeah he has
he's been fine for ages but the neighbour throws food out for foxes, the foxes bury it in my garden, dogberg eats it and it triggers his little dogberg allergies and ear infections are how his weakened dogberg immune system manifests itself
not really on tbqh
Dogberg
when you respond to me just know this is who you're talking to
just a normal day for me today as a non weekend enjoyer
will be spending this weekend like I do any other day in my smelly bedroom, friendless and sexless
MIGHT venture out of my reach repulsive incel lair tomorrow for an incel walk to tesco with my incel rucksack
neighbour throws food out for foxes
I do this. Put a camera up to make sure it wasnt rats eating it
gf is forcing me to do things this weekend that i don't want to do, be thankful of your incel weekend
If I were to go on Hot Wings or hot ones (whatever it's called) I'd start going
Wow, that's hot that is
got to go for a meal with the gf tonight then day sesh with the lads watching footy tomorrow but really cba
just had a wonderfully rejuvenating poo
feel like a new man so
Id put clingfilm over my tongue and eat tge hottest one
Going to Morrisons for a pasta salad
becoming based by being a well liked and useful member of my community
my first week at my new toil and one of the women has invited me to join them for beers after work, don't want to go but feel obliged
may as well do it just to get into the inner circle
Zeidbelg's back garden
woke up with an unsettled tummy and some aching around my back, did a big poo and feel completely fine
love pooing me
hate pooing and wiping wish i could just teleport the poo out of my arse
why dont you get a bidet lad
Got one word for you mate
"Porcelain"
hate pooing
Youre not welcome here. This is a pro pooing general and you need to leave
too expensive
Cold
I'm high....on life
got my tickets sorted
we all good then bummer boys?
30 minutes late and haven't even started my 40 minute commute yet
oh well what's toilberg going to say, is he going to be mad at me is he? don't care
If there's one thing we have to give the Muslims credit for it's the normalisation of the hose for your arse
Not a dry seat in the house
what would you do
if i walked towards you
Yeah, can't get a word in for people talking about hosing their shitty arses mate
reading rhe brinble
did i do good am i doing it right
bradley posters aren't awake at this time so im afraid the post has been wasted
Where’s Diego?
this image has the same effect on me as the picture of cia holding his belt loops
just start uncontrollably laughing the second I see the thumbnail
screaming at the top of my lungs but my voice won’t break through
Omds you're actually seething
ok what about this then
reading rhe brinble, de lads
*looks up at you like a dog in anticipation*
TFL to start rolling out women’s only carriages on the tube
cut my incel life into gay little pieces
doing no such thing actually mate
making boston baked beans for dinner
someone tried to hack my Microsoft account at 5:30 am I got a code sent to my email
right just woke up lads is there a reason the yanks decided to mcjuche overnight
just smiled like this to a girl
lads lets all post the wackiest thing we can think of when the time hits 9.40am we'll all post it and it will be so wacky haha
i push my fingers into my
assssssssssssss
its the only waaaay
that i can fuckin
cuuuuuuuuummmmmmmm
What's everyone's 'guards saying? I'm out in the countryside so don't have phone signal to get the OTP, just WiFi
I know it's going to be an utter bloodbath, my savings wiped out
wahey
never understood the armed forces worship in this country. there’s no wars on and even when there was it wasn’t a threat to the country. Today most of them just sit about getting paid £30k +
niggers !!!!
gay PORN WAWUUU WAWUUU AWUUU
*hello this is the gay porn factory*
sigma!
bruh
even when there was it wasn’t a threat to the country
What, ever?
screm
howling like a skibidi wolf at this
scrianvlav b bhddscv fhdhdc
30x incoming
down about £7000 since January and everything is dropping again today
yelping in a mongo pakis face
not even that got 20x first spin and ended with 23x
get it twisted, you will max win
What
Sucking a covfefe.
Hate those good for nothing bass games
What do you think your P/L is over all?
No war has ever threatened the UK?
putting my life savings on a horse
alri sean bean
just ripped a massive pooBC
Sunny today
Beers today
Off for 10 days
yeah im thinking my life is a movie
Poo for breakfast with nobs on top
*jumps on the horse and rides away *
surely down overall but I normally only have a go on slots when I've won money on a bet tbf very rare I'd deposit to play
tell rorke its on sight
honestly could do with a year or two of this so i can get a good amount of money in. 'playing the long game' i say to myself in the mirror as my money turns into dust
so you bleed your profits on the slots? seems retarded
laughing
bruh
Seems based actually
virgin
ktim
Spinning around on the floor like Curly Howard going WHOOP WHOOP WHOOP WHOOP
kek that is literally fucking me as i have never had sex even once
roarign
technically all bbcs are walkable, since they are connected to the legs
last christmas i watched some gay porn
but the very next day i threw it away
this year to save me from tears
ill watch the gay porn for ever, ever
literally how
listening to jazz like any self-respecting man would
shat my trousers
LOL SAME HAHA!
(i'm 37)
just never done it
The Sopranos is probably the Rosetta Stone of modern American reaction: it consists of people who bemoan the loss of an imagined past they mainly got from movies, claim victimisation based on identity but hate when others do it, and view the people who build the society they prey on as suckers.
Not recently no
yeah?
shove your pretentious metaphor up your arse
*Organises a big /brit/ devirginising gangbang like in the book IT by Stephen King
ok
whats the most zesty english word
delectable
Adult Star Anna Polly Dies While Filming X-Rated Scene With Two Men
actual english or is polari allowed
elevenses
“folks” is the most raped word. It’s been transformed from a faustian callback evoking blood memory into a longhoused quirked up reddit shibboleth
diego coming and posting here without his name every day and then saying “wheres diego” might be the most tragic shit ive ever seen on brit
early new fags ew no thanks
A black man invented the Russian language.
the goblin of hampstead heath
turbulence
you should try it
you're all retards
get permabanned fags
Holibobs
you offering?
got a hairy pooey arse here, might even be the hairiest and pooeyist
the most raped word.
Older women love me. Women my age don’t even look at me.
I hear the train a-comin', it's rolling 'round the bend
And I ain't seen the sunshine since I don't know when
I'm stuck in my smelly bedroom, and time keeps draggin' on
But that train keeps a-rollin' on down to Cheadle Town
u r ugly old man
haircut and eye test for me tomorrow lads. It's so over for you all when i can see properly and have a little snippy snip
Feeling woke. Feeling pozzed
sex bum, sex bum. you're a sex bum
Moist
Screeching like a banshee at that clip of Limmy on his stream realising how big his bald patch is and having a mental breakdown
you can tell he didn't know he had a bald patch
just did a cute little fart lol
bought The First Berserker: Khazan for an incelgaming day
You will never understand society until you understand Rape and how Rape is built into every facet of modern life. You wake up after only 6 hours of sleep to a blaring alarm clock. Raped. You make shitty instant coffee, because you don’t give a shit to learn how to make proper coffee. Raped. You get into a car you have a loan on. Raped. An old lady slows down too early before the light turns red, adding another 2 minutes to your commute. Raped. You get to the office and encounter a female colleague, wearing something slightly suggestive, but you have no opportunity to make a move. Raped. You work all day for a paycheck, not in service of your own greater goals. Raped. You’re getting fucking raped all time, nonstop, your mind is being raped, because getting raped sends the following message: you have no power. you have no agency. you have no control over your own life. everyone knows better than you. Rape. Rape. Rape.
Ha ha .. Sounds greet .. We love Oor Limmy .. Top Scotch comedy ..
yeah right
it's all an act you gullible little monkey mong
och aye man, bannenburg. im scottish
blueberries and greek yoghurt down the noise hole
may we see it?
raping my own arse
no
*slowly backs away from you*
The Raped.
Don’t bother, these are the same people who were fooled into voting for brexit. They don’t have a brain in their head
Got some psyllium husk and chia seeds coming today de lads
No more sloppy shits for me my lads
Involuntarily Sodomized by the Vicissitudes of a Regular Daily Routine
by Chuck Tingle, PhD
sounds like a full auto airsoft going off in that bathroom lad are you OK in there
So relatable. Will never forget the day I saw myself from above on the Asda CCTV
The Raped.
old money
Free Sheldon!
Alri Emma
My bumhole is a one way street
hanna-barbera lookin aaah
stopped shitting have you?
wrong way down a one way street was in fact about self bumming
Be good at what you do.
wrong way down a one way street
yay
hate being a 28 year old vf
drawing lesbian drawings of cartoon characters for my faithful audience on twitter
Mmmmmm 18 year old fanny
ye fearther wud be prude
Literally had gay sex last night
are you a lezzer doing the drawings or are the characters doing lesbian things in your drawings (hiking, going to farmers' markets, etc)
cant even fathom how bad man on man sex must reek, even shagging women can smell vile and men smell far more pungent
This anime season is absolute dogshit, might have to find a new hobby, might even... get a clue
she's only 18 years old you sick fuck
mental how
Honestly doesn’t smell at all if you clean out properly. Women’s fannies always have a certain musk to them and that’s where the sex smell comes from
16 is legal thoughbeit
Snow Bunny and the seven african jungle meat cannons
Honestly doesn’t smell at all if you clean out properly.
animes only really worth watching if its exceptional
he got his teeth done because chat kept going on about them
men are sweatty and smell disgusting, can't imagine the constant disturbance of the arse smells anything other than rancid
: -D
more like he got his teeth done because he's in his mid life crisis with a wife that cheats on him
11 year olds
I reckon it'd be oddly pleasant, like when the distant scent of a farmer spreading manure carries into the city on a Spring breeze
*clap*
*slight salty waft*
*clap*
*faint hint of savoury goodness*
*clap*
etc
people used to be able to sleep on command even when they werent very tired
see you lot here at 7:30
up to level 72 on skyrim, lockpicking is going to be a bastard to power level though
I'm ordering a fatwa on James Corden
remember that tv series the family guy creator made where he was in space and it was absolute wank
bit like family guy then
what's the problem brit bros
i thought you were drinking champions
i actually enjoyed it
Wasn't that just the family guy star wars parodies
he's already a blimp
it's just too expensive for poor prople now
all the sheeds we've been replaced with don't allow it
:(
I'd rather get a few K ciders and get pissed at home
It wasn't that long ago that were famed for our hard-drinking, for our love of beef and good food, and as a land free of famine and poverty and as a place where freedom of speech and the idea that every man's home was his castle were taken as received wisdom
fucking shithole now lol
love the sounds water makes
be it a waterfall, heavy rain, a babbling brook, a rushing stream
because in a lot of places they're charing like £15 for a pint or something ridiculous
fatwanka
no its the orville
Alcohol is haram
epic fail
very depressing indeed
trying to learn about christianity with an open mind and its just utter wank all of it
NEW
We're all meeting at the Monty Pyke lad