/brit/

got my balls out

I've always hated Conor.

they cute? voluminous?

any dickhead man in

oops I pick the wrong image lol

always thought this was a little silly seeing as we don’t pronounce a hard ‘r’ sound at the end of no at all
North americans have always seemed to struggle with our accent, the english obviously get it

hate how a lot of software these days is subscription-based and you can't just buy it outright, very annoying and dystopian

got my tits and pussy out

Is black friday this coming friday? Do you think if i go to the shops on thursday evening for the night shops i might be able to find some deals? You see im in need of some more work shirts and perhaps even some more casual clothes

he just seems like an arrogant person
annoying and dystopian is spot on

what sort of work shirts do you wear? hi-vis or smart casual?

just popped my willy inside a willy sized hole

how brown are your nipples exactly?

Smart casual which is why i want to see if i can get a deal
I imagine hi vis is cheap

heard someone saying the other day that you can upload mp4s to Anon Babble now, is that true?

rate the drip

it's literally just battered wife syndrome but without the abuse

well he is a highly valued man so of course he's gonna be desired by women and i know he loves me and the kids so it's alright if he has these flings every now and then they don't mean anything

I thought it was the Friday just gone

#bd886c

yeah high vis is very cheap, like $7 per shirt at big w, the high vis pants are expensive though, like $60-70

Yep

have a feeling my entire toil department is going to get axed next year, been doing 1-2 hours a week of work for 3 years basically it can't go on forever
at home right now because I just up and left the office because I was bored

What do you do for work?

goverment toilbot
time to look for a new job methinks

wonderful

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Just did a google search and its this coming friyay
I think ill get down the shops on thursday and see if i can find a deal on some work shirts and possibly even some casual clothes

are you that lad that's on 6 figures basically just making powerpoints or whatever?

That's the life my bro
How do I work for the guvment. I feel like they only do internal hires.

fair enough
just done a bit of online shopping these last few weeks feel a bit silly now, although the savings probably wouldn’t have been that big

I bought some replacement laces for my boots and a couple books off amazon recently
Other than that the only things i buy are drugs

...yh

bit bored might do some excavation in the garden

eating shit and dying as per the request of reddit user u/hornswaggle229 for suggesting we lower net migration

one time i did a massive poo

shit image, aussies drink VB
fosters is for poofs

image

they’ve just bought fosters back after 30 years
absolute insult, not even Australian owned or brewed and they think we’ll just take it back

just installed windows movie maker to work on a video, they made it so you have to pay them to use the split video function, which is arguably the most important function this kind of software can have, why are they such cunts? were the adverts on the sides not obnoxious enough?

might treat myself to a poo

learning how to stop noticing all the browns around me

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Surreptitiously stops drinking my fosters lager

based and fosters-deriding pilled
saw it at the bottle-o outside of the international section for the first time the other day, turns out they’re trying a big push with it

windows movie maker used to come wiht windows

how do you get that kind of job?

international section

kek it’s always been so weird going to the store and seeing a can with the southern cross under the international section
been drinking beers for a long, long time and never seen it on tap anywhere

it not right

amft uilw drii itns ohtt

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well I applied for it via a website you see

got this recommended to me too but I ignored it because I'm not a chudoid

yeah i know i used to make shitty cartoons and edit them with it when i was a kid, everyone took the piss out of it but it worked for me

love love LOVE “you see” posting

right and what kind of qualifications did you need?

did you know that australians don't even drink fosters?

yanks can't say melbourne

Fuck New Zealand!

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I had experience from previous roles, this is known as a "career"

It is 100% going to take off again
There's a cheat to establish yourself in the australian market and that's sprinkling a bit of nationalism in your business
Like how bunnings sold itself as 'the' australian warehousing goods store where you go for a chat and a sausage sizzle
Now it's overpriced since they've got no competition, even the sausages

why is this particular lad always so rattled

you could have added “you see” to the end of this post and you didn’t, very disappointing

if you're talking about the yank they're just like that, hence the constant violence and murder over there

stop taking the mick lad, it's not a good look you see

And yet he didn't
A subversion of expectations, you see

There is no depression in new zeaaaaaland
there are no sheep on our faaaarms

yes lads get in, my aussie mates are IN, the yanks are (mostly) OUT, it lush lads it proper lush

COR

mate not sure what you want you I got my current job because it's the next step up from my prior one

on the big black cock prowl

nah dude we don't drink fosters, i prefer a cup of coffee with cream and sugar

hate hate fucking HATE 'you see' posting

I'm single because my standards are ridiculous. I suppose that's better than having a girlfriend because my standards are so low.

Big fan of our antipodean brethren working the night shift, good on you lads x

get it from macca's, do you? fat fuck

yeah the boys

wish i could work out where tradies buy building supplies because no way is wood as expensive as bunnings makes it out to be

and what was your prior one? i'm interested in becoming a high-salaried toil drone that requires minimal effort too, i simply don't know where to begin, and i am making a legitimate and peaceful request for advice on this matter

I dm'd a guy on reddit for career advice but he hasn't gotten back to me
He's made a few extra posts but isn't responding to me for some reason

on the night shift currently
nearly done

bunning a poo

why yes. Fun fact, McDonald’s Australia invented McCafe and McDonald’s coffee (Australia) is widely regarded as the best Maccas coffee in the world by coffee experts

I dont drink alcohol very often at all

...huh. interesting

cheers good lad

*starts sucking your nob*

you have a small penis which is circumcised

good lad, having a gf you don't actually like it a road to misery
you need a degree and an office job, once you get that you can just build from there
my job has nothing to do with my degree but it's still important that I have one

sound of the remix

leave my penis out of this you bastard

echo the degree thing, if you want to get a good office job you need a good entry level one, and they’re so competitive otherwise that you need a degree to get you in the door

White people have a right to exist

bell tolls on the 3rd verse of adele's hello

dem franchise boys don't walk out

not horny at all. sex is the last thing on my mind at the moment. i want to dig holes in the yard

heavens this vinaigrette is so spicy it's taken me near an hour to finish this loverly beet salad

got an ice cube in my mouth. ooohh heah eee its cold

they buy it from the same place you do, they just buy it at a discounted rate from the supplier and sell it to you at a slightly higher rate
for example
i buy 10ks worth of material from a supplier i frequent often
they sell it to me at 9ks
in my calculations for what to bill you i set it at 11/12k

White crackers really be saying this type shit

righto then my dog, want another one?

Mental how you can't even say the N word properly
One of the greatest joys in life, snuffed out in an instant

wonder why you need a degree, a lot of australia's most prominent politicians don't even have degrees maybe just a cert III from tafe

i will never forgive france after the crimes of french hitler (napoleon)

Cute!

dodgy bastard

my dog as in my actual dog that eats ice cubes in hot weather, not my dog in the pejorative

the stooges - now i wanna be your dog

A lot changed in the last 20-25 years as university enrolments shot-up and many well paying office careers decided to use a degree as a base level requirement

BALLA DOO-AH DONG DING now she is a wolfing!

>yanks can't say melbourne

this makes me seethe
DUUDE YOU CAN'T SAY MEL-BORN EVEN THOUGH THAT'S LITERALLY HOW IT'S SPELT
fuck off

is it normal for siblings to do this

trying to organise a shag with the open relationship girl tonight

good lad

peepee poopoo

Hyo Hyo! *Knocks your door*

Zangu on his Santa Cosplay

HaYu! NiHow! Mehry Kismass! Timmy!!! hyo! hyo! Izu SnOwING! yiz yiz! rayke it!

ManeMo Shinta! Eye Raiky raike gibing Givs! yOU Mass Gay Bumi Cookiss nOW!

that's how the entire construction industry works, the only difference being how much the markup is
i've seen some companies have it as low as 10% (smaller companies of course) and others as high as 40%

alright settle down champion it’s not that big of a deal

Yeah anon your sister does this with ME all the time!

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echo the degree thing

The degree thing
The degree thing...
The degree thing......

time for you to stop eating shrimps with wimps and come eat lobster with a monster

everybody's talking about world war three but we're as safe as safe can be

You. Our ideal candidate.
You are confident deconstructing complex problems and scoping projects to deliver on organisational goals
You create value through analysing data and providing expert advice
You have experience consulting to diverse sectors, and you excel at multi-tasking
You intuitively build strategic partnerships to achieve desired outcomes
You have a passion for building the capability of the public sector
You have the creativity and tenacity that will help us build a new service

you lads reckon this is me?

If my sister looked like that i would try have sex with her

SNEED

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Arkansas

ahaha good lad
good lad good song

Rights aren't real

never hear people say 'snog' anymore

I've never let a girl ride cowgirl on me because I'm afraid of her slipping and breaking my cock

a bastardized native american name
not the case for "mel-burn"

same aha

When was the last time you heard "I love you"?

monging about

the weird thing about the whole melbourne pronunciation is that there really is no right way for a yank to say
say 'melbourne' and it just sounds wrong to an australian
say 'melbin' and it sounds like you're mocking their accent

mumberg says it all the time

This seppo is frothing

i think zoomers must be doing a lot of incest. they are all autistic, locked indoors all day with working parents, and exposed to normalised incest porn

why do they not even say the R
wacky redditor people

You saw that video of vitaly too huh?

Oh bless x

people think when you get older your humour just turns into dad jokes or some such
not me, I'll maintain my wicked, sardonic, edgy (and downright disturbing!) sense of humour

I literally have no idea what you're talking about mate

time to go to wrok

believe it or not ive actually never had sex even once

‘good lad’ding all over the bloody place

Christ is king

doing pooey farts

Germans are shit eating cunts who wrought seppo culture here

shocked mate, didn’t take you for it

of the jews

How do I become high impulse and low inhibition?

me at 80 years old talking to my wide eyed grandson: *pulls eyes back like a chinese* "lape the disabled"

might buy a new phone just for the sake of consooming lads

man I NEED to get back on the slaloms, if it doesn't snow soon I think I'm gonna lose it for real

a mu fid tlri wito inh st t

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dress in drag

Purposely keep the temps cold to keep puppo close to me
Psychopathic manipulator, me

think they're usually born like that lad, quite easy to tell because they well... you know...

It is forbidden to say kn*ckers, kn*ckers or kn*ckers on the BBC.

I hate dogs but this one is pretty cute
*gives it headpats*
"You be good, buster."

He cute so i dont blame you

big fan of "well... you know..." posting
helps that it's my own invented gimmick too

no ones ever posted that

I get stalked by aliens because i have blue eyes which means im a part of their genetic experiments on humans from ~6000 years ago

never seen that one tbf

is this true ladies?

im biracial

this is your chance to get in on the ground floor

just wanked my.. well.. you know..

well.. you know, gotta keep your eyes peeled

you sound breedable

Just soiled my... well... you know

YEAH THE.. well… you know

l am a Pozz-Cuckold. You want to know what that is? Well, let me explain.

The normal cuckold wants just one gift from his black bull: A black child. But the Pozz-cuckold wants more. He wants three gifts. We are greedy little bitches. But first, here's how it goes. Normally I drive in my Mercedes to a street gym where ripped blacks train their muscles, there skin shining with sweat and the air filled with their scent. I am already a bit hard just from thinking about it. Sometimes I cum a bit in my pants. I get out of the car and ask who of them has AIDS. Then they know what happens. The black man with AIDS gets into my car and we drive to somewhere isolated. Then I take a small knife and stick it inside the hole of my penis and twist it a litte. In the cuckold community we call this the AIDS twister. Sure it hurts and causes me to bleed. But it is worth it.

Then the black man docks me until we both cum and I contract his AIDS. I already have 4 types of AIDS from this. That is the first gift. Then we drive on to my house and he fucks my wife, who has also contracted many types of AIDS. That is the second gift. And then 9 months later the third and best gift arrives: a black child who also has AIDS.

Stay up until 9:00 AM

Eat McDonald's

Sleep

Eat waffles

Sleep some more

Heck, I might even have a wank!

splendid idea lads, let's wear this gimmick out right away so it doesn't... well... you know

i was just saying this down the pub

pet bbc nigger just .. well.. you know..

Docks me? What does this mean

don't feel like i should have to spend $15k and 4 years of my life just to be remotely employable
hate to see the big uni scam has made its way to australian shores, next thing you know the price will reach yank-tier levels and everyone will be pissing and moaning about their student debt all the time

Once had a waffle made in a bowl shape which was filled with mac and cheese and fried chicken and it had spicy maple syrup on top

never been to england

aussies doing their classic aussie shtick... again

ahaha

fucking cunt i just spat my tea out reading that

can someone repost that i have ireland filtered

wel.. .u knwo.. i enjoy irritating one specific poster and his love for gimmicks you sea

That is advanced goyslop. As an American, I kneel. I fucking kneel.

Is that how cheap uni is? I thought it was way more expensive

don't feel like i should have to spend $15k and 4 years of my life just to be remotely employable

See that's the thing mate, it doesn't matter whether you feel that way because others are willing to put in that effort. The job market is a competition and value is relative.
There are plenty of other jobs if that time and money investment is too much for you.

leftypol paying for winrar

anyone remember the willy posting gimmick where we all posted pics of our willies hahaha lets bring that back

mum and dad paid for my degree you lads tried that?

15k ausbucks for uni

fucks sake thats like 3 grand isnt it?

Cost is highly variable
Band 1 (e.g., Education, Nursing, Mathematics): $4,445 per year.
Band 2 (e.g., Science, Engineering, Allied Health): $8,948 per year.
Band 3 (e.g., Medicine, Dentistry, Veterinary Science): $12,720 per year.
Band 4 (e.g., Law, Commerce, Economics): $16,323 per year

dont believe this post

*posts a willy wagtail*
Heres my willy
Aha get it

fat girls rule the world

love those birds
also love currawongs

A 2020 report for the Pew Research Center estimated that at the end of 2017, 800,000 to 1.2 million people were already living in the UK without a valid residence permit

Uhh, wtf
I didn't realise it was this high, this is american tier

*does a little dance*

15k aus is comparable to getting a commercial drivers license here

Yeah i like currawongs too
My favourite bird is the humble pelican

think if I made 200k a year I could get the type of gf I want
not that I can't get a gf right now mind you, just not exactly what I want

You can drive a commercial?!?
I just watch 'em

a mealy mouthed response

You know, I actually think I'd fancy having sex again. It's been a long time, but even the best-feeling wank sesh pales in comparison to sexo.

the elite love illegal immigrants because they can use them as slave labour

watching commercials is grim

*ahem*

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Even all thats a lot cheaper than i would have expected

kevin bacon going absolutely doolally at this

*gives your willy a cheeky little tug* honk honk

complaining about spending $15k for university

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thoughts on anglo genocide?

i would eat her bum

my point is that it's a slippery slope and we're in serious danger of becoming a debt slave nation like you

captcha: H0PAWG

In a depth beyond depths
Where Arthur slumbers
A faint stirring
Can you hear it? Can you feel it?
The homeland stirs

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Xander budnick 7 days solo island survival

Get the statues erected.

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my gpa is low because i gave up on a semester mid way through

based on what exactly

If your boyfriend English you single to me. Fuck Reginald gonna do!?

basic pattern recognition skills m8

Too honest for me own good

has anyone noticed this government's persecution of the NEET community?
I voted Labour for their NEET friendly policies.
I've been played like a fiddle.

if uni was $15k for me when i got out of highschool my life would have probably been dramatically different as i wouldn't have an excuse not to go
reckon i would have ended up being a leftypol too

sad

woke up and gf just dumped me

she said my cock was too big for her

reginald is a kiwi name now
the kiwis stole all of the old fancy english names

Lil monkey fella

What kind of fanny do you reckon are Rubes has? Big butterfly flaps or a smooth innie? Maybe something in between? Do you reckon she has a protracted clitoral prepuce or a receded on?

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always found it weird how one of trumps new slogans is "trump will fix it" just like jimmy's

mate of epstein too

makes you fink

Shes got a peng minge i know from when i shagged her

so nothing lol

aussie power hour is over

sometimes want a long term gf but just seems like so many things can go wrong

she "gets" fat (women believe becoming fat is something that happens to them and not something they have control over)

sex life dies off

don't actually like her after moving in together

possibility of cheating

maybe it's best I just stick with shagging random girls off apps

I want one because i want kids but all those things are very valid points

normie problems you need an autistic gf

doesn't the military pay for your higher education if you enlist and go over to rasheedistan and drop a few a-rabs? as far as i'm concerned that also undermines you as far as excuses go
the only genuine excuses for not going are either you're too dumb to keep up, or simply didn't feel it was necessary
did you know less than half of uni graduates actually end up working in their field of study?

shows how much you know
all clitoris glans are exposed normally
when tumescent due to arousal the hood covers the glans

rorke putting up christmas decorations in november just to piss off the woke

t fw mli aiis urnt dtt ih o

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hawk tuah

crow nicked me plum

see I don't want kids me so I'm not fussed about it
love the idea of a partner to share life with but realistically most women just aren't that
why in the world would I want that

Seasidemark 4 doughnut challemge

you're dense mate, i'm surprised you can even read, do you even have object permanence skills?

Gay

mornin de lads

prepared a garden bed for vegetables and now a mouse has dug a nest in it. need to turn all the soil with my hoe but its sharp af and i dont want to smash the mouse accidentally

this is going to sound a little facetious, but you just have to find the right person

just get yelled at by obese black women and risk your life for the GI bill bro

yeah nah

just leave it
it belongs to the mouse now

wont get fat
can impose your weird fetishes on her if sex dries up, probably has ones of her own
wont cheat on you

Aldi job and a willy

My last gf was autistic and she was the worst one i ever had

George Carlin Tried To Warn You..He Wasn't Joking

have they really got fat negresses working as drill sergeants now?

Idiocracy was a documentary

i want to put a camera down there to look at it

ah yes out 70k army will make all the difference kek

willy blacked porn and i don't care
willy blacked porn and i don't care

I would understand if the poles or balts wanted to kick russia in the ass, but among brits and the French this would create strong anti-nato sentiment, if they sent troops to fight on behalf of a country that isn't even in nato

thats enough Anon Babble for today i think

be careful

There are female drill sargents but none of them are the fat sassy "lemme axe you sumn" type
And you get like five different drill sargents over the course of basic training, its not like full metal jacket where you develop a relationship with any one of them.

The problem in basic isnt the drill sargents, theyre relatively tolerable, its the complete fuckup scum of the earth recruits in there with you.

of course but how many long term relationships you think are actually happy and satisfied
yes and she'd be incredibly boring and weird to talk to
obviously making the point that a relationship needs more than sex mate get a clue

weird fetishes

you lads don't actually do this do you

Too bastarding lazy to do just about anything these days

well military service always looks good on a resume, however as a former soldier with PTSD myselfi would not recommend it, at least not in a combat role (even still, they ingrain it into your head that you're a soldier first and foremost even if you're some virgin whose main job is to sit on a computer all day)

Only if you think futa is weird

i dont mean an actual spastic autist i just mean a quirked up and unusual woman
you will suffer if you enter a long term relationship with someone who isnt on the same wavelength as you

remembering when I posted about my mum's love of narrowboats and someone on here accused me of lying in a VERY hostile tone

as a former soldier

don't believe this one bit

Overall, between the ages of 12 and 15, black males had lower testosterone levels than white males. Testosterone levels increased rapidly with age and reached higher and earlier peak levels in black males compared to white males at 20–30 years of age. After reaching a peak level, testosterone levels declined earlier in blacks than in whites.

KYS

what flag did they have?
why not?

well you see I'm a normal and well rounded individual with a certain joie de vivre that an autistic gamer retarded woman couldn't hope to match
same reason I don't date asians

the peak is all that matters
your average soggy boomer can't pull tail

anyways, the candle that burns twice as bright burns half as long

well fuck off hten you normie twat

Siri, pull up testosterone levels of 12 year olds by race

hey siri, lead a revolution

i swear to goodness if i get done editing this video in movie maker and it tells me i have to pay to render it i'm going to flip my shit

Mad how every single ethnic group on earth is engaged in a suffocating
cold attritional war over the preservatiom or expansion of their respective motherland and culture, and africa is sitting there smack dab in the middle of the globe totally defenseless and ripe for the taking and no one is doing a single thing about it because of slavery