/brit/

LOVELY FUCKING CANS edish
ACTUALLY GOING OUTSIDE TO BUY THEM I PROMISE sub-edish

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Whore, skank, prostitute

British millionaire investor, 62, is killed in front of his horrified daughter when his motorbike 'strays onto the wrong side of the road' and slams into a van on Spanish road

pooey arseholes for tea

his motorbike 'strays onto the wrong side of the road'

just did it by itself did it
righto

what time do you go to bed? you always get on the cans late

got the asmr on

LGBTQ = PAEDO

already in bed me

main goals are get a car and rent in a city. how much do you need for that. is minimum wage enough?

j

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same lad

accidentally wrote profit instead of prophet and bradley'd myself in my own head

I thought there was a whole thing about under 18s being banned

Miss EW so much :(

nth for the baddiedem

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exhausted me
might join you haha x

Right, lads.
Goung out for the er SOMETHING food, not even sure what or what size, for the laugh like x
And of cousre, the BIG cans because er, I wouldn't be CANSlad without the fucking cans now, would I?

Depends on toil status, lad
If I have toil, usually around 1am
If I don't have toil usually around 5-6 am

The lads as it were

off to bed

you work harder than ever to get less than ever

which city? are you sharing? are you prepared to live around brownoids? many variables here

dua lipa bums

What beer should I drink tonight?

lads the nottoway plantation in louisiana burnt down and the negroes and leftists are all celebrating because the building was evil or something

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dire

mesoqueito was biting my cats nose while it was sleeping unbelievable

Albanian vaginas were manufactured for italian/greek penis

john smiths :D

crazy to think that you knew know what's going on behind closed doors

is this secretly an anti-immigration dogwhistle? you racist cunt?

get it rebuilt and reopened

blud you should sit down, you won't believe what happened to the library of alexandria

Rick & Morty back next Sunday

you know everyone stopped watching this shite as soon as I STARTED watching it (after Season 3)
There was a time where people wouldn't shut the fuck up about schezhuan nuggets and pickle rick

Long time ago now

can someone go to the shop and get me fags I'm too drunk to drive

just have to make it through this semester

no idea why you would post this here or expect any of us to care

isn't the year coming to an end nigga
or do you do the whole calendar year thing instead of September-May

Can't get it here in america

>you know everyone stopped watching this shite as soon as I STARTED watching it (after Season 3)

ktim that's when I stopped watching
heard they fired the main guy and replaced his voice with AI or some shit kek
season 8? lol no chance

i still enjoy rick and morty lad I'll post about it with you next week

faggot

us against the world sister

Why does she have a beercan in front of her hole

its the middle of the year lad

car alarm outside going BEEP BEEP BEEP

if it were a museum or something i could understand it not being a good thing, but it was a fancy resort and wedding destination

Just have to make it through this semester

Just have to make it through this week

Just have to make it til Friday

Yeah? And then what?
Life’s going to keep going afterwards. What’s the plan after that?
Just have to make it til death?

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I know that you fat cunt
I meant is your academic year September-May like it is in the northern hemisphere or if your academic year is equal to the calendar year

only reason i still watch new rick and morty episodes is incase they do a scene where morty fucks summer

how old were you the first time you saw an adults erect penis?

yankbrained wog zoomer runt

sunsetberg always insists on doing a shinetoil right into my evil incel bedroom thus hampering the initiation of earlynighttoil

prefer not to say

Uzma Patel and Leena Ahmed are apparently massive scammers ripping off students in birmingham lmao

far left corbynista when it comes to UK politics

far right ethnonationalist irredentist when it comes to Albanian politics

could she be more of an unlikeable cunt

300 killed in Gaza in 48 hours

how is the world just standing by and allowing this to happen

speak like a normal person for christ's sake

It was an historic building and a beautiful piece of architecture, a microcosm of several centuries of Southern culture

because arabs kill each other for fun
life is cheap there

they're 100% certain they're going straight to heaven so I don't know why they even care desu

they started it
chat shit get banged

300,000 dead worldwide in the last 48 hours

how is the world just standing by and allowing this to happen

young people are fucking retarded

life is all the things that happen while you wait for moments that never come

carling

the "history" section on its website talks about some old trees and nothing else

lil zoomer bouncing up and down his computer chair shouting W rizz and we're back when his favourite hip hop african american says something about hitler

yankbrained wog zoomer runt

No, that's what you call 'people' who obsess over vomit chocolate and The Super Bowl™.
Enjoying the architecture and history of foreign nations, especially those to which England is so closely tied, is not being 'yankbrained'.

if you dont support gaza youre spiritually jewish end of story

Over a thousand Indians die every hour.
Just putting that out there for you lads.

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so this girl in the p diddy trial was with him for over a decade but was too afraid to leave?

fuck off
she wanted that high $$$ lifestyle and now trying to throw our nigga diddy under the bus

Because they are God's chosen people or something so its okay when they kill babies but bad when anyone else does it

lil zoomer still talking like he's 16 at age 25

contemplate the odour

I don't support either because both were mean to me. Really at the end of the day it's none of my buisness.

lil zoomer calling people 7 years older than him "uncs"

This but unironically

im 19 >~<

it was a glorified mcmansion kiddo not the notre dame cathedral calm down

I support complete annihilation of Gaza and establishment of a resort for Aryan veterans of World War III

just not enough

lil zoomer basing his entire political outlook on wojak and chad cartoons

Can't get that here in america

What a surprise. The same person whinging about others being 'yankbrained' is obsessed with France. LOL.
A classic Anglophobic Englishman whose self-hatred extends even to England's former colonies.

lil zoomer taking a picture of an analogue clock and asking chatgpt to read it for him

Zoomer at work can’t use a computer. Doesn’t know what a folder is. Can’t double click a mouse. Sick of them.

cans is also slang for breasts

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lil zoomer still banging on about idubzzz for some reason as if he was ever funny

based

our ex kitman got sacked for speaking the truth

In his legal submission, Bonnick refers to five replies on X in November and December last year, including: “Yes it is all about Jewish supremacy & not wanting to share the land Ethnic cleansing”; “Why should they be protected anymore than any other community? Some see this as the problem Jewish communities thinking they should be put before others”; “What about the Jews that attack Christians?”

Bonnick’s posts also said “Hamas offered to release all hostages in October. Zionist Israel refused. Persecution complex”; and on that offer he also posted: “You abandoned them … Refused to bring them home … Your silence was deafening … Now you want others to scream … Morals integrity honesty none … Mark of Cain.”

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big if true

whom was the state of LOUISiana named after?

louisiana was a french colony you stupid twat

did you know that Billy the Kid spoke Gaelic?

erm
I got the shoes on, lads
Still didn't go outside

lil zoomer outsourcing his current feelings on gaza to hasan piker again

Zoomer at work isn't potty trained
Can't flush, have to change his diaper, and make sure he has his binky on
Sick of them.

rorke's just utterly embarrassed himself there

zoomer at work goes fast

shan't

lil zoomer watching teenage girls dance on tiktok and pretends to be a Roman Emperor

They don't do that anymore, now it's unfunny 8 minute skits where one guy plays multiple different characters

notre dame cathedral calm down

france deserved that and more, better the cathedral is destroyed before its turned into a secular museum

getting raped

lil zoomer mentally living in 2018 still thinking they're down with the kids

Normans - Upper Class
Saxons - Middle Class
Danes - Lower Class

had 1 alcohol
not sure if i can be arsed with more, might just curl up in bed and hope i don't wake up

You ever just feel sad and ashamed? What is that?

grow up

(You) - takes it up the ass

nah dua's fit enough said

On the cider lads, wahey

lil zoomer producing a long and drawn out youtube video essay documentary about how anime is some niezschean ubermenshean shifted dark aryan art magic and not autistic dweeb cartoons for retards

My application to teach 4 year old indonesian girls english language was a success

i am

Having mood swings like a 14 year old girl

lil zoomer hasn't even seen a human vagina in real life before

original sin

spaki banging on about zoomers again is he

What about Celts?

not in season is it? you fool

a 14 year old girl

:)

I am a descent of the ancient romans
You lot?
Descendants of people who rolled around in mud and made bearskin hats and lived in primitive huts and did human sacrifice

t. ottoman mains

cringe ahh niggas

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lil zoomer bro be remaining single but zoomer girls be taking the BMC if you know what I mean

might have a second m&s double chocolate mini bite

shut up you stupid fucking yank

tim back in hospital again after 4 days

fucking hell institutionalisation is scary

Speculation was rife tonight after Doctor Who star Ncuti Gatwa withdrew from Eurovision hosting duties with the BBC announcement being made just two minutes after Israel qualified for tomorrow night's final.

Diego would've had a lot to say about this

Louisiana

England's former colonies

grow up kid

gonna go watch the half marathon on sunday, drink pints in the sun and watch people chuck up on the road

mad how Britain supplied the Confederates in the Civil War (War of Northern Aggression)

mad how poo peng gay porn

ferret :)

corrrr you seen some of those zoomettes out there recently with the thick rimmed oversized granny glasses, baggy light blue jeans and white trainers coooorrrrr pwoarrrrrrrbegrtwueusohfgrrehfusoghiteiu

N*rdoid seethe haha

this game is too hard

Of course that's why he withdrew. The BBC too spineless to actually say this of course.

Is dog fighting bad? My dad went to prison for it. I can’t understand why it’s wrong

yeah aha
shut up you stupid fucking yank

is human fighting bad? my dog went to the pound for it. I can't understand why it's wrong.

on the grindr, some of these lads you'd never think were gay by looking at them. others definitely. maybe i need my gaydar serviced

Probably not even gay in this day and age.

London?

not the only thing you need serviced

Are you drunk

take your vitamins unc

wait for eu5 lad, we'll all stuggle together

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cider pint can cracked cooor goo ooonn

got something to say to me, fat cunt?

mad how you care about some old bitches from a million years ago

Never got into UFC. Too much. Boxing looks more comfortable with big cushiony gloves.

The police in Britain on Thursday charged a man with arson in connection with three fires, including two at properties linked to Prime Minister Keir Starmer.

The Metropolitan Police in London said in a statement that the man, Roman Lavrynovych, 21, had been charged with arson with intent to endanger life.

The police identified Mr. Lavrynovych, who was arrested on Tuesday, as a Ukrainian national.

pfffft
dumbass

revving up the JAV

Russian spy?

reckon he got a new strain of monkeypoz getting reamed out in a sauna in basel

i be walking along farting that shit

the khat chewing thugs are rapidly bashing their slippy s curved batons into leng tings

Rorke had me on the ropes playing fifa

The shiteness of Spurs transcends even understanding football

false flag
israeli psy-op

probably a ukranian who thought the uk wasnt doing enough cause brits werent dying in ukraine or something

I am on benefits and I spend my days recording my farts and uploading them onto the internet titled bible readings

UFC is tacky and thuggish.

how do we 10,000,000x that figure?

100% russia was behind this, just like the ukrainians who burnt down the mall in poland and tried to burn down the ikea in lithuania

going to the tesco i'm not banned in in about 10 minutes
what should i get to scran?

good lad x

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lol what a faggot

work starts in 20 mins...

dumb leaf shut up

would be nice to spread dua lipas pussy lips and be like... "dua lipas"

rorke can't play fifa

trashy balkan trollop

thought the uk wasnt doing enough cause brits werent dying in ukraine

um
do you really not know
that kind of has been happening

The Ukrainian man suspected of firebombing the Prime Minister’s family home has always loved Britain and has an England flag on his bedroom wall, his father has revealed.

Roman Lavrynovych appeared in court on Friday accused of setting fire to two properties and a car linked to Sir Keir Starmer.

The 21-year-old was remanded in custody after Westminster magistrates’ court heard he had allegedly used white spirit to start the fires.

Speaking in the House of Commons on Wednesday, Sir Keir told MPs that attacks against politicians were an attack on democracy.

But Mr Lavrynovych’s father said that while his son was a proud Ukrainian, he had always admired the UK.

Mykola Lavrynovych, 48, added: “Roman came to London for the first time when he was 10 years old. He spent a year, as his mother was working there.

“He went to a British school and studied there for one year. When the invasion started, he left Ukraine for Germany, but after a year he moved to London, which he really liked and wanted to stay there.”

His father went on: “He has an uncle who is fighting on the front line against the Russians and he is 100 per cent pro-Ukrainian. He has never spoken Russian and doesn’t allow his sister and brother or anybody else even to listen to Russian music.”

Roman was initially living with his mother and younger siblings but when his sister was unable to get a school place in London, she returned to Ukraine and he remained, living with his grandmother.

He set up a building company but has also signed with a modelling agency and is a regular at a local gym in Sydenham, south London.

Photographs of him on social media show him doing press-ups in his bedroom, which has an England flag on the wall.

His father said Roman had been happy and settled in the UK and had a girlfriend who was also Ukrainian.

He added that he had spoken to him on the telephone just hours before his arrest and there was no sign that anything was wrong.

sticky rib pot noodle or microwave korma
why are you banned

Yeah im sure russia is the reason why Canada is 50% jeet now and every city there is festooned with gay flags as well
(Rolls eyeballs)

mmhmm

it's actually really simple, it's all just monarch points and gold, just have to learn where the buttons are and manage events well

His father went on: “He has an uncle who is fighting on the front line against the Russians and he is 100 per cent pro-Ukrainian. He has never spoken Russian and doesn’t allow his sister and brother or anybody else even to listen to Russian music.”

cringe ahh holhol

was STEAMING and knocked over a massive stack of peroni bokkles breaking them everywhere and the darkie guard that picked me up said i was barred
no idea how long they last but scared to go back and it was the second time i broke something when supping the alcoholic jew

2x steak bakes (cold) 1x big can

Boring bastard

Rolls eyeballs

the expression is "rolls eyes", hivan/jose

Smoking monkey weed

It’s weed that makes you feel like a monkey
But not in a bad way

lol

is france still big blue blob or is it patched? haven't played this particular autism tickler in years

something light like some rice crackers and dip, or some falafel

victimless crime

Imagine getting barred from Tesco
Would off myself at that point to hit such a low bar your life must be woeful

would it be weird for a 24 year old man to date a 43 year old man

you dont get it guys he loves britian so much he tried to kill the pm

hmmmm

raping rorke and making him cum from his prostate

um

what’s the craic

@RateMyDisabled

sir bottle breaker

stopppppp actually shut up!!!!
*covers my face with my hands shyly but looks at you through my fingers whilst kicking my feet behind me*

Mykola said: “Everything was fine, he had a girlfriend, he was working, opened his own company, he was considering developing his business.

“I spoke to him on Monday, he said he was fine, things were going well and the company would soon bring in money.”

His father said Roman was “very trusting” and that he had been on his own in recent weeks because his grandmother had been back in Ukraine.

Roman was arrested in the early hours of Tuesday morning in connection with a string of alleged arson attacks in north London.

The first incident involved a car once owned by Sir Keir, the second was at a flat he lived in during the 1990s and the third took place at his family home in Tufnell Park.

Sir Keir’s family home is currently rented to his sister-in-law and the property was occupied at the time of the incident, although nobody was hurt.

On Thursday evening, Scotland Yard announced Roman Lavrynovych had been charged with three counts of arson with intent to endanger life.

Appearing before Westminster magistrates on Friday morning, he spoke only to confirm his name and date of birth via a Ukrainian interpreter, with his lawyer saying his English was “very limited”.

Wearing a grey prison-issue tracksuit, he spoke quietly and held his hands together in front of his body throughout the 20-minute hearing.

The court was told he lived with his grandmother and was asleep at the property when police raided the address in the early hours of Tuesday morning.

It is also alleged the defendant travelled to north London from his address in Sydenham using night buses.

Remanding him in custody, Paul Goldspring, chief magistrate, said: “These three charges are indictable only, that means I am obliged to allocate them to the crown court.

“In this case, that will be the Central Criminal Court where you will appear for your plea and trial preparation hearing on June 6.”

Got banned from Tesco for raping the manager

was he disabled or?

rape is powerful

got banned from tesco for fingering rorke by the meal deals

Wasn’t before

Millennial men have utterly failed in their existential responsibility to fix the country so now Zoomers are going to have to do it

Mad how quickly they found out who did it. Some might even say it was suspiciously quick.

just started talking to someone on grindr then freaked out and turned my phone off
fucking pathetic runt of a person i am, not even good at being a fagoot

howling
freak cunt

is it mad yeah?

I play extended timeline and imperium universalis mods so I dunno. but france's starting moral is 15% now so maybe not. in that run they weren't a problem

Stopped reading the news about 5 years ago so I never know what you lot are on about desu

zoomers won't do anything and will be as powerless as millenials

sick of this bastard heat already. office in the attic and the insulation here is fucking mental. it's currently 36 degrees in this room.

36 degrees in this room.

cap

mad how the world really did end in 2012 as the mayans predicted

fagoot

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*waltzes in and rubs your sweaty chubby cheeks*

No it didn’t, they didn’t even predict that. They just said we were moving to a new cosmic cycle

Yeah but they were right because Covid was an end of the world

mental how much my cock pongs

which anatolian state are you playing first lads?

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Proper autist freakoid hours. All the lads must have went out for pints

Yank in Tesco calling for security because he’s found the frozen faggots and wants to report a hate crime

trojan

roarign

need them all rounded up and sliced into wafer thin deli meats

Millennial men have utterly failed in their existential responsibility to fix the country

I didn't know millennials now included men in their 60s and 70s.

That kfc advert is actually crazy if you think about it performing human sacrifice rituals to get kfc rly weird

East Roman Empire

the generation that started the hippie movement fucked everything up
what a shocker

It does taste nice though

mouseberg simply has no business in my bedroom. it's clean, there's no clutter, there's no food. just don't understand his residency. keeping me up at night with his skittering around.

dude smoke a doobie and get over it bro!

good luck with that

Fell in 1204.

me on the left

what if your carpet grew like a lawn and you had to cut it

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The oldest hippies were born in the 1920s mate

google, search rachel starr - don't pull out

snap trap, spot of peanut butter with a sliver of chocolate stuck in it. he'll be out of business within an hour

This happens to inner city ethnic London benders
Doesn’t happen in the norf or glorious Alba

can't... simply can't kill mouseberg.

Zoomers be like ummm which app is it to change the lightbulb

Where exactly does he stay? is he like in the walls?

I see it on the map

Anyone else stopped caring about football

fine. let him keep bothering you then, he'll even invite his family in

spray bottle with some bleech water, spray it by the mousey entranceways, got rid of my little critter

spot of peanut butter with a sliver of chocolate

bit decadent. sure you don't want to add some whipped cream on top and a cherry?

Yeah when I was 11 lad

3000 years too late late lad

reformed by the Nicaean splinter state

imagine how grim your house would have to be to attract rodents

paki mouse

Showed mumberg my favorite brit posts of the past week. Said I need to grow up.

yea...just reflects the overall character of the residentts innit
mice don't lie

simply don't care about footy but know enough to have a chat with the workbergs

mice love peanut butter, second only to chocolate. you're not going to attract it to the trap with cheese

about to cum, what should I yell out?

he'll knaw your knob off

shout WILMAAAA like in the flintstones

got big sargon on

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where does that stereotype come from then

it's actually easy, you'd know that if you weren't an urban runtoid

glad this guy pushed through the hard times, got a uni degree, has a large family, runs a successful business. even thought i disagree with almost everything he says.

he seems like someone from 2017

a lump of cheese can be used to comic effect in tom and jerry cartoons

oh my days

you live in sevenoaks mate you're not a farmer you're a PONCE

orke living in a gay sex prison of his own creation

orke

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now ask how old Canslad is

how old are you canslad

done me there

feel like a big man pointing out someone's typos, yeah?
makes you feel powerful, yeah?

yeah

my ancestors wwere farmers in sevenoaks in the 1600s

orke

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how old are you 190

my son went to uni at anglia ruskin and i dont think it was a good idea

imagine yer da posting on /brit/

lads.. it's gone red

imagine sticking your smeg dick in boiling hot water

It's never a good idea when the uni is advertising itself at the train station. I mean Cambridge weren't doing that.

Yeah well I fucked your mum

GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT

so this is orke

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new

Migration Watch Chairman Alp Mehmet said:

The latest Home Office immigration statistics for 2024 show that inflows, particularly for work, have remained damagingly high. Any decreases from the previous year were largely the result of measures put in place by the Tories.

In other news we learned that the number of 16 to 24-year-olds not in work or education has hit an 11-year high at nearly 1,000,000.

YES TELL THEM ALP MEHMET