/brit/

/brit/

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dogshit jf thread

Obi-wan to not see that when it comes out

non british flag

shit is produced

every h*cking time

anime

eating a banana

i'm only the messenger

fuck me bet that felt fantastic

spaffing the ol' williams to anime

just selected death by firing squad on the NHS econsult website to relieve my suffering scheduled for 2026

Fuck off back to Hollywood Lucas

bet some cunt complained about people not picking up dog poo on the local Facebook group after finding that

afternoon, chaps

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Waiting lists are the real killer

hello :)

wonder why those lists are so long
a mystery indeed!

something unfunny happens

That wasn't funny

Curb Your Enthusiasm theme added to the end of it

That event is now hilarious. That was so funny

FOY

dumb bitch, love her anyways xx

The paedophile containment boards over there lads

when they draft us to the frontlines, what army persona are you gonna adopt?

LARRY YOU FUCKING FUCK WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST FUCKING TELL MY DAUGHTER GET THE FUCK OUTTA MY HOUSE YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE

luv em x

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The barracks bunny

yeah never got that

do you think they will send all the new arrivals to fight lol?
its gonna b funny

I'm going to permanently wear a ski mask and speak in high-pitched squeaks

so business as usual then

Why did that become a thing

Might be because of Curb Your Enthusiasm, not sure though

The scared, jumpy undependable one who betrays his comrads to save his own skin but then dies in an act of heroism later on. Everyone sees me as a traitor except for the one anon who saw my final act of redemption - he'll be the one to close my eyes on the battlefield and then tell my family that I died a hero when he returns from the war.

I was on the train to London (2hrs+) to see a friend, sat in the back left corner of a carriage where hopefully no one could see me playing chess on my laptop.

The very first stop a Greek man about my age (27) gets on and sees I’m playing chess and wants to play me (still 2hrs left of my journey)…

I really didn’t wanna do this, I didn’t wanna chat and I definitely didn’t wanna play chess with the guy. I told him “ok after this game” - proceeded to make that the longest game I could possibly drag out.

Out of nowhere he pulls out an industrial sized tub of fresh blueberries and offers me a handful - I declined.

It gets to our game of chess and we began talking about the game and eventually he’s telling me all about his life and he seems to be the happiest guy ever.

He asked for a rematch after he beat me and it’d be too awkward to say no, so I agree. We ended up playing about 5 intense games of chess together.

FOY

he didn't ep 7 of dandadan

ngmi

yeah?

what's the best way to celebrate a big fat financial bonus from work lads?

Whack it in an ISA

2L bottle of Pepsi Max and an Iceland Deepdish Pizza

*puts you on blast on our weekly 1-1 teams call*

I would unironically had to have got on my hand and knees and had a close up sniff of it to see what the whiff was saying

stalker 2 any good?

that's boring
i want fun

n-nonce

yeah?

ear hairs getting out of hand
might have to take a match to 'em like they do in those turkish barbers

i speet at you *ptaw*

WICKED WICKED
JUNGLE IS MASSIVE

aha alri lads how's it g-
*slips on a banana peel*
*cracks my head on a table*
*lies on the floor motionless while blood pools under my head*

I haven't played it but I've watched some videos of it and it looks pretty cool

The other Brazil flag
Where are you posting from?

its far cry but with a stalker paint coated on

*pokes your body with a stick*

*steps over you and pours myself a lemonade*

Makes no sense, point out the American spelling (you won't). The programme was shown in the UK (thick cunt).

I will not give you a reason to report my posts. This thread is now my personal blog.

imagine the smell

>No work

>No money

>No house

>No wife

>No kids

>No sex

>JK Rowling doesn't even want to be seen interacting with you when you're the only other prominent figure in the anti-trans movement

Yes but his life hasn't been ruined lol

???
Everyone you listed is getting plenty of all of those though
Russell Brand is literally married to a billionaire
You're just projecting your shit life onto people who don't even know you exist lol

bwa bwa bwa dadadda da daa daaaa dadaa da daaaa

Nearly christmas lads wahey

Russell Brand is literally married to a billionaire

No he isn't mong

don't care

Glinner has doxed and assaulted underaged kids for disagreeing with him on trans issues
He's a far right tinfoil schizo whose wife divorced him and kids don't speak to him because he dedicated his life to trans hate
Last year he wrote over 100 anti-trans tweets on Christmas day alone
Now tell me how this Irish mutant hasn't ruined his life?

wtf are you talking about, his missus isn't a billionaire. Neither is his ex-wife.

Alri scrooge

Russell Brand is literally married to a billionaire

lmfao why did you just make that up

i have no idea who that is

mental illness no wonder these freaks think trans women are men

*wanks a cock off with my arse racistly*

none of us do, won't stop him from spamming his boring shite in every thread though

right, thats the evening sorted

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*curb your enthusiasm theme* I save your post and made it funny looooool

This dude ruined his life

No he didn't

Well he did

I dont know who that is

lmaoo average rorke poster

*has a little fondle with your bumhole*

*unzips*
wheeyyy u had a big willard!!

wanking my little gay cock to some peng gay porn

amazon delivery is missing

contact them and get refund

it then shows up

do I need to tell them and return it or do I just keep it

Glinner as in Gary Lineker

had

give him back his willard

fuck sake

corr got a link lad *pours lube on willy*

BAG
A
G

these millionaire shaggers ruined their lives because of [shit nobody cares about]!

no they didn't

erm actually this one guy nobody heard of did!

don't care incel

lmaoo average retard poster

dammit rorke, don't you go woke on me now!

the warrior we all need

Keep the money and the chinese crap of course

shove it up your arse of course

screaming

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Glinner won

*surreptitiously exits the thread while holding my skinless banana*

me when I finish eating at a restaurant and my excellent server goes to give me my change but also asks me whether Chinese people poo at the same time

Why is this trannard so obsessed with based Glinners?

Londonderry.

guy who wrote father ted and it crowd
he's one of the Irish on that partridge episode

ders more to oireland dan dis

Ah, hello all.

off work early today cos got no more patients in

just had a corned beef sandwich and now sipping on a monster energy aussie lemonade x

Had a cry at church the other day

hao ling

Ugly cunt with the massive head

Need this river choked with plastic waste

got the feelings of existential dread on

Glinner won
Rowling won
Farage won
Assad won
Starkey won
Musk won
Trump won
Russia won
Starmer lost
Harris lost
Ukraine lost
Globalism lost
We are at the dawn of a new right wing age

me when the midwife asks which one is mine

*boots you in*

did this one time after i'd gone to a rave and almost cheated on gfberg
felt like absolute shit, really hit rock bottom

Is that where it happened?

you know what this needs
a boat full of new hopeful indians
yes indeed.
LET THEM IN

Yeah? Well I need asylum seekers housed in every one of those buildings.

nice one mate you've set off the trooncord for the next few hours

tallyho mates!

me when I'm directing this year's John Lewis christmas advert

They can live on top of the plastic islands in the river.

czech beers mog polish sorry mate

every blade of grass paved over and built up to be filled with immigrants

me when I'm in Hastings

vax status?

zubr gang! zubr gang!

bbc news reporter laura poopengsberg

Except the royal courtyard, of course

get the tunes on

At least you did the right thing. Real strength of character that

77th brigade

Thinking about buying a narrowboat

I don't like music

When you were in secondary school did you go out a lot? What did you do? Go to any parties and events? Smoke or drink? Did you kiss and shag girls?

Or were you a shut-in? If you didn't go out what were you doing instead?

How much does one go for?

i didnt care anyway

lol mental

mohammad circa 600ad

things are getting really bad in Ukraine, cant believe Russia is winning now. You see, every day I would post on here to any vatnik "two more weeks bro", but that was over two years ago

i dont like music

me when I'm approaching the hummus at a royal buffet

morning de lats

music

grow up

alcohol

grow up

drugs

grow up

relationships

grow up

friendship

grow up

i'd done speed and mdma and smoked weed too
also didn't sleep at all cos i was in such a state
she came back to my place, we kissed a bit, then she left abruptly
felt like a mong i really had to take stock of what a grim loser cunt i am

me when I start back and biceps day at 6am

I took J&J not mrna like other shit but i stll regret it.

Imagine the future King/Queen Prince(ss) Georg(e/ina) as a trans woman (transitioning at the age of 47) hosting the blue haired President and First Emotional Support Frog of the US as the Ukraine war enters it's 5th decade, Zalenskyys AI dronebot hovering in the background.

OMFG SEW KINO

mate you already admitted your dad is a massive farage supporter
you're so deep into your fake personality that you've convinced yourself that you actually hate farage but you're just doing it to piss off your dad because of the resentment you feel towards him
maybe you should actually confront him about your feelings and not just hide behind this petty layer of angst that you take out on him by pretending to like the exact opposite of everything he does just to try in vain to make him angry
it's not a very good look on you right now

ONS data shows that net migration reached 906,000 in the year ending June 2023

drugmongs furiously posting about how tricking your brain with chemicals can "change your life"

Wonder what Ruby is up to x

NTA but anywhere from like 30k to 100k for a really nice one. I paid 50k (I live on one)

Bloody 5 bloody degrees centigrade outside

whats happened now? i just checked liveuamap and it looks the exact same as it did a year ago

me when I put all my money in sapphires

the britons are an insular people, as they live on an island

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i win
and it is only 1330
my lord

Starmer lost

hmm yes turning around a party that went from the lowest seat share in 70 years, in to the largest parliamentary majority in its history in 5 years is a "loss". Im not even a leftymong but this is just deranged

*krssscht*

requesting permission to poo, sir

they deserve it for wołyń. Its called karma.

playing with her box

it was a bait post dont engage with it

very grim, gym at 7pm me

he lost the people
that is the biggest loss...

Ecли бы я cдeлaл тoт пocт, мeня бы зaбaнили.r0

Permission denied private

Reckon big mo just had autism

clean freak

refused to eat certain foods for weird reasons

entire religion focuses on how no fun allowed (except for sex)

loner who preferred to sit alone in a cave

had strict routines that he'd get pissy about

would throw a tantrum if anyone didn't follow his instructions to the letter

In another life he couldve been a create computer scientist

I don't like you.

Snow on the morrow, to be sure.

So what I've learned today from /brit/

Only form is power is violence

Rich people are smart because they are rich

We should elect Nigel Farage as Prime Minster even though he didn't have a plan for a post brexit uk despite pushing for it the most

Having gay sex isnt real sex because its anal but a girl only having anal sex doesn't make her a virgin anymore

Having sex with a black women isnt real sex because... racism I guess?

Animals dont feel pain because they are not as intelligent as us.

Howling, you losers make me laugh so hard. Wish I was delusional as you fuckers.

we had parties amongst our group but didn't really get girls along until 6th form when the younger birds could come

permission denied private, over

(I live on one)

fuck off you do not
pictures NOW

well i know nothing about you, but yes

alri spaino

In a fresh Ipsos survey, Nigel Farage has emerged as the UK’s most popular politician, with a solid 28% favourability among the public.

The least popular politician, Rachel ‘from accounts’ Reeves, scraped a pitiful 18%, dragging up the rear with a -32% net approval rating.

Leftypol mate, what's going on!

hiya luv

amazon delivery driver was one of those jolly blacks
could imagine him clapping while he laughs heartily

yeh!

I like you because your ugly flag makes anglos seethe. Please post more.

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205015052

no one cares mate

alri spaki

A NORMAL DAY IN BRITAIN

they actualy got less votes than corbyn though UK is a fake democracy like US but worse.

wossop everybody in the house tonight wossop

only women believe there is such a thing as power without violence. They have to believe this because women are physically weak and cannot dominate anything but small animals by force. All of human history is formed from violence like wars and coups and bloodshed. Meme about it, hat me, beclown me, greentext and ironise and satirise it as much as you want, its still the truth.

Bet he's a fiend at a buffet. Does a jolly laugh and a little jig as he makes his way over for some cheesecake with a paper plate in hand

This is why Farage has suddenly transformed into a wet One Nationite
The establishment are planning to make him the next PM

bradford mentioned

still won the most out of all the parties though

and if you call him out on his love for cheesecake he does that ksh ksh ksh laugh, claps you on the back and goes "ahhhhh!"

drunk man outside going UUGH UUGH UUGH

he isn’t training

Oh my fucking days

This is the main opposition in Britain for the next 5 years.

immigrant who makes money from harassing drunk woman on the street gets arrested

Am I meant to be upset?

*goes UUGH UUGH UUGH*

He was an inbred paedophile

The rise of Islam was the worst case scenario that could've possibly happened, of all the people to gain hegemony it was the most low IQ uncivilised tribe (Peninsular Arabs) conquering the region and imposing their dogshit desert religion onto everybody else.

been saying greg wallace is a noncey wrongun for years tbf

That's before he goes back to his bedding at the plantation where he picks cotton all day for the boys of the Manchester mills!

Those funny old pickaninnies

started drinking IPAs and now I have a personality

am i supposed to know who big mo is?

now THIS is what i like to see

Had a dream that I won the lottery and got to go on Joe Rogan

mad how she's gary oldman's sister

doing a nice lunch poo

Wallahi

lol at this paki bastard

What did he ask you

ah yes, gary oldwoman

midpoo crisis

Didn't realise I could buy beer on amazon
mental

what happened to russel brand

According to the Office for National Statistics, of that number one million (86%) were non-EU+ nationals, 10% were EU nationals and 5% were British nationals.

Of the non-EU nationals, the top five nationalities coming to the UK were as follows:

Indian (240,000)
Nigerian (120,000)
Pakistani (101,000)
Chinese (78,000)
Zimbabwean (36,000)

mad how arabs contributed nothing to history until they were suddenly the largest empire to ever exist in 800 and then were totally irrelevant again until white people decided the black goo they were sat on was the most important resource on earth

Fuck me it's bloody boiling in here, what's your thermostat on?
*unzips jeans and flops out bollocks to cool down*

He didn't ask me anything, he just started talking about aliens

it’s one thing to be a born-again-christian, however, to go out of your way with this forced display of faith is fucking pitiful

he ran out of money so changed tack

anglo "women" putting the heating on to 30c all day every day in every building in the country from September to April

A Damascene conversion

the wall

glinner would have prevented this

Sven out of nowhere just absolutely two-footing copealone

my work ethic unmatched

Rorke intellectuals:

Plato
Nietzsche
Spengler
Evola
Mishima
Ford
Tesla
D.W. Griffith
Fischer
The Wright brothers
Russel Brand

Leftypol intellectuals:

Hillary Clinton
Jeremy Corbyn
Madonna
Katy Perry
Obama
The Russel duo(Russel Kane, Russel Howard)
Owen Jones
That P*ki slag
That Twitch streamer
Spaki

glinner for lord protectorship

might ask chatgpt to think of some new /brit/ gimmicks

that's right i'm pooing want to make something of it?

Good album that
Well the first half anyway, sort of falls apart towards the end when Waters gets goofy

and another to prove it

it's fucked
it was probably the worst thing to happen in all of humanity tbqh

18 year olds conscripted in the Ukraine

Very yikes

yeah I reckon I could do like a cute dog or a teddy bear or something

Russel brand gimmick is so shit and boring holy fuck you mongs will feed even the lowest effort trolls

I miss Jeremy Corbyn. Say what you will about the things he believed but at least he was honest and a true diehard socialist

MasterChef's Gregg Wallace steps down as Kirsty Wark among 13 who claim he made inappropriate sexual jokes

Right so it was banter then

ah, willeymoor
a firm favourite of dyslexic benders everywhere

this isn't a gimmick mate yeah? I am literally russel brand

would call myself christian yeah, it’s supposed to be a humble faith
but this modern americanised christianity has, imo, become way to self-indulgent (bordering on arrogant)

Fair enough. Do you work - and if so how does the canal factor into your daily commute?

only order my dildos and arse stuff from there after finding out they sold them

he wasn't honest at all. quite the opposite in fact

remote work mate, software and such

Remember when Russel brand went far right and then all these sexual allegations against him appeared out of nowhere. Really gets the old nogging jigging

forsooth yon blackguard i am brand i tells ya gor blimey praise jesus

This niggas living in a Michael Morpurgo book

got the gay poo porn on

Spaki melty?

Bought beer battered fish goujons and they're fucking shite. Fuck you co-op

would call myself christian yeah, it’s supposed to be a humble faith

it’s supposed to be a humble faith

He was the only leader of the opposition in any western political party that challenged Jewish power. And he did it because he believed that standing by your beliefs was far more important than having jewish bankers and the press on your side for the opinion polls to go up. Thats what honesty is. He was a conviction politician.

ukraine committed their best forces into making a kursk salient, probably so they could have land to hand back in exchange in eventual negotiation
russia responded by pushing hard in donetsk, making gains quicker than they have since 2022
they are pushing towards pokrovsk, the major supply hub for the region, and things may go badly south for ukraine if they take it

Rorke's logged on

Well yeah

but he didnt stand by his beliefs lmao.

could've sworn I clicked Anon Babblebrit

yeah

name someone far right that they haven’t tried to smear in allegations

Going to cry?

something about the gayness, and the poo
rather invigorating

eating chicken wings

me
not a single newspaper article about me yet to my knowledge

russel brand's grandad lived long enough to shake hands with napoleon and make a cameo apperance in napoleon (2023)

*jumps out of my armchair*
SPEARIN' ALLIGATORS?
*fights off the nursing staff*

farage

doing a gay porn poo

just supported a black owned business

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Name one thing Corbyn lied about. You simply can't. You're just assuming he was a liar because he don't like socialists and you assumed he must have lied somewhere, but there is no record of him ever lying when he was Labour Leader

I hope I didn't scare him away.

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man fuck hole
hole cover man in mud
mud warm
mud real

bollocks

Belgie's online as well.

Everybody's here it looks like, shall we begin?

Carl of Swindon

i didnt say he was a liar. stop sucking corbyns dick for a second and learn to read

you ever had a goon sesh with de lads.

He said he wasn't honest, and didnt stand by his beliefs. You're calling him a liar.

Fair enough. Care to elaborate?

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I AM NOT EMPLOYED I AM NOT MENTALLY WELL HELP

bring back wanking in pubs

they literally raped kids

But someone like Russell Brand

Russel Brand raped a 16 year old so yes I would say that is clearly proven to be morally wrong

KILL YOURSELF

what
how does that even relate

Russel Brand raped a 16 year old

no he didnt

He didn't rape a 16 year old, it was consensual sex because it is legal in the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland. Unfortunately, the police along with the general public are still under the impression we live in America

eating jerk chicken x

16 year olds are adults
FOY off

*bangs a drum rhythmically as mousenonce has a melty*

Kill yourself

Kill yourself

only if both parties are under 18, you actual yank nonces
is anyone here actually British?

Kill yourself

you dont have to lie to be those things.
but his stance on the EU was probably the biggest thing he was dishonest about. plus he was a typical vote-chasing politician when he pretended to be a different type of politician. also very slimy and disingenuous during interviews i thought.

eating jerk chicken x

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melty

New

Thats not even remotely true you yankified runt. 16 is the age of consent, and is only illegal if the other party is in a position of power. And no, being a celebrity is not a position of power

Kill yourself

Kill yourself

Kill yourself

New

we cannot get out: the end comes soon we hear drums
drums in the deep.
The meltdown is coming

Groom a child from the age of 13 to 16

Take her virginity and molest her

Someone this is considered morally correct by /brit/ standards because hes on the rightoid side

Weird, I saw you lads say its morally bad actually to have sex with legal teenagers when you're in 30s a few threads ago. Got something to admit here?

this nonce has tried to spend hours figuring out the edge cases of British age of consent laws and still got them wrong