Snottingham edition
/brit/
poo smells lmao
Posting in this one
north korean troops are addicted to porn in ukraine!
Of course, it was post-310 and thus the only acceptable choice
That usually happens when you don't have some utter runt desperately pushing some shit gimmick that he just HAS to get out there
Looking forward to janman shutting down his dump of a thread
Father of missing Hawaii woman found dead in apparent suicide in Los Angeles, LAPD says
this is a new?
looks like an old!
haha
additionally i havent done a poo in 4 days
met another german who knew bradders today
sir skibidi starmer
good post
I don't wanna drink it, Ray
not in ham huh? well I quite like ham okay.
Going cold turkey on wanking til I lose my birginity
good lad
294
janny is just going to kill you
additionally i havent done a poo in 4 days
that's fucked
good lad
so this is rorke, dead now of course
mistress bouncing up and down on my cock with her high heels
youre a fool if you dont collect the prerolled cigarettes that were only smoked half way off the floor to collect
I'd eat the ass of that one actress from Atlanta(the show)
Two Guttersnipes, 1910
australian music
youtube.com
you can put one of them out of your collection each month, by adding it to your pouch of tobacco
skibidi starmer
farage is using hitler's language
good "good lad" lad
BABA LANDA OOGA
A LANDA
JEEBIDY LANDA BOOGA OOK
(repost for those that missed it)
pootoil complete
gymtoil next
and then a little swimtoil at my favourite spot as a reward
lads how do I get a girlfriend?
Just realised that I've never done a fart of whom's scent I was not pleased
go to sleep outside, with a cup, and you might wake up with more money
was it fanny chmelar
love love LOVE aussie music from the 70s and 80s
a great era
Er it's a wednesday
Get enough protein in you and you do ones that smell like rotten dogpoo
i mean if you boiled wine to get the alcohol out but didnt make the Roman drink
Fanny Chmelar (German pronunciation: [ˈfani ˈçmeːlaʁ]; born 31 October 1985[1][2][3]) is a German former alpine skier. Born in Weilheim in Oberbayern, she appeared in her first FIS Alpine Ski World Cup in the 2004–05 season. In her career, she had one World Cup podium finish, a second place in the slalom at Åre, Sweden in 2009.[4] She competed for Germany at the 2010 Winter Olympics.[5]
me and the lads come friday
youtube.com
been listening to this kiwi banger recently
youtube.com
he's reposted it for anyone who missed it
fuck fuck fuck me i'm so fucking pished rn and ofc my 5 hrs ago me left the fags at work
>Fanny Chmelar
wfm me so not an issue!
im yawning and crying to ill have to go for my nap now, otherwise ill be waking up in 10 seconds to stay that way until i crash just before the day begins
why do you think im here? j-just bee yourself!
I don't wanna see this town no more
Wastin' my days on a factory floor
The first thing you know I'll be back in Bow River again
ahahahaha
Sad that Jay Slater died, think how many kids he could have sold drugs to
I imagine theyve all gone home by now?
cute doc jew fangirl tbhaitch
or battered with golf clubs and machetes
Jewish birds with BIG, fuck off tits
you're asking the wrong guys
but seriously?
find a woman you like
not just physically, but one that's honest and you can stand to be around
then make your intentions clear
try to be likeable
smile, ask her about her interests, don't smell like shit (especially your breath)
eye contact
eventually you'll have to kiss her, so keep that in mind from the start
remember: she actually wants you to try to be her bf
ever look in the mirror and think phworrr I'm a handsome young man
gay shit song. if its not Flying Nun then fuck off
it's a numbers game
Hey there (You) with a sad face,
come up to my place, let's live it up
Youuu beside the dance floor, what do you cry for?
Let's live it up
Doing what
Mental how effective projection is on the internet
You can accuse someone you've never met of being all kinds of bad things and it'll probably be quite accurate because if you're both arguing on the internet then, in all likelihood, you're both maladjusted freaks
post this
prefer not to say
Gassing myself with mould spray
wish we knew how ears worked but i suppose if we did it would be just another thing and i would likely not care a whole lot (i would but i am biased)
yes mate
/brit/ is the most best looking boy general
almost makes me wish i was a bird
Australian Crawl
Mental as Anything
Hoodo Gurus
Midnight Oil
Crowded House
Dragon
The Church
you (the UK) ONLY got that imported because i was looking at the whole line (all of which was imported) for the ingredients, one of which is cocamide
and that sounds like cocaine
think this is probably actually true
interesting
the best thing new zealand has ever given to the world is "Slice of Heaven" by Dave Dobbyn and Herbs
half of them are kiwi bands
Only heard of one of these and even then couldn't name any of their songs
used to back in the day but now I'm balding and my teeth are stained and my posture is awful
can you grow yeast infections in MDMA and platinum (idk if MDMA has a carboxyl group, but it probably doesnt, because it is monocyclic unlike others)
OUTSTANDING post
ahaha yes on occassion
not sure
So you're saying I should spray it up my nose?
let me see if i can find my pic of a /brit/ meetup that was posted here
100% chads btw
My greatest claim to world famous in New Zealand was a Dave Dobbyn story.
Would you like to hear it?
can you grow germ cultures in orange juice + baking soda to neutralise the pH
you're missing out lad, sincerely
*posts a picture of the ed, turt and jordy meetup*
Yes but other times I have a full meltdown over specific parts of my appearance and it will ruin my whole day, sometimes putting me in a week's long depression
yes
fluoride-free toothpaste + baking soda
Crowded House
shit
Midnight Oil
dogshit
Dragon
actually pretty good
Ways I've got a girlfriend:
A friend of a friend gets her friend to ask me out on her behalf
A girl on the train turns out to be from my uni class and asks me to grab coffee with her between classes
Some girls sit with us in the pub and ask where's a good spot with live music
Server at a different pub just post-covid tells me to wait after we leave during closing cuz she'll be out in a minute
I finally muster the courage to ask out a friend I've had a schoolboy crush on for 4 years and she says yes
Hope this helped mate.
back to reading
not even the best dave dobbyn song
youtube.com
not even the best song in the footrot flats movie
youtube.com
look like a handsome monke me
back to wolverhampton
The Church were great
Young
Got told I look 33 at the weekend. Got too many greys in my hair and beard, you see. Saw my first grey at 19. Up to about 5-10% greys these days.
Right so I walk in to a puv and I go to the bar and I order a drink
And the bloke who's sat at the bar, looks like he's been there for years, turns to me and says "im Dave Dobbyn"
And I look at him and I says "who the fuck's that?"
Power and the Passion by Midnight Oil is one of the greatest songs of its decade, a genuine and unironic masterpiece, take that back at once
that's funny I'm 30 and got told I look 23
everything’s subjective of course but you’re way off the foundation with midnight oil
i have something to admit.... i pick my nose. how do i quit this dreadful habit?
ahaha love it mate great story
are you a chink
nothing wrong with picking your nose in private
what were your autistic special interests, lads?
before age 9: science, collecting hotwheels, mythology, optical illusions
9 to 14: runescape, collecting furniture on habbo hotel
14 to 18: extreme right wing politics, race realism, white supremacy, conspiracy theories, national anthems
18 to 20: looksmaxxing
20 to 22: having sex with as many women as possible
22 to 24: cryptocurrencies, finance, conspiracy theories again
24 to 26 [now]: history, songwriting
I'm unvaxxed.
Not particularly funny tbqh
youtube.com
we must RETVRN
I finally muster the courage to ask out a friend I've had a schoolboy crush on for 4 years
you fucking legend
the only midnight oil song I know is the one where they sing about how abos should own australia not australians
what were your autistic special interests, lads?
>before age 9: science, collecting hotwheels, mythology, optical illusions
to 14: runescape, collecting furniture on habbo hotel
to 18: extreme right wing politics, race realism, white supremacy, conspiracy theories, national anthems
to 20: looksmaxxing
to 22: having sex with as many women as possible
to 24: cryptocurrencies, finance, conspiracy theories again
to 26 [now]: history, songwriting
Fascinating.
been picking my nose since i can remember
don't think i'll ever stop. just can't stand having dried mucus in my nose.
Age 4 to now: dinosaurs
dinos, 40wombles, getting laid, speed
nuchal
The term "nuchal" refers to the nape or back of the neck. In medical contexts, it's often used in relation to the nuchal translucency (NT) scan, which is a prenatal ultrasound performed between 11 and 14 weeks of pregnancy. This scan measures the thickness of fluid at the back of a baby's neck and helps assess the risk of chromosomal abnormalities such as Down syndrome, Edwards syndrome, and Patau syndrome2.
The NT scan is a non-invasive procedure that, when combined with other factors like maternal age and blood tests, provides valuable information about the baby's development and potential health issues.
what's the supposed link
alri shagger you must be tall and peng as if you have birds asking you out that many times
Have you ever seen the movie Jennifer's Body? It was pretty good actually.
Nice pair of thick tits in a thin camisole top
autistic
having sex
my illness is not your costume
dunno, i only read the headlines lol
I've said it before and I'll say it again: All clues gained lead through the pub
lads here would do well to go to the pub asap
don't care to be moralized to so I shall be skipping the latest wendigoon video, plus appliachia is an over done topic
You sound like you have move star magnetism and good looks
I am tall but I don't think I'm peng. I was a proper scrotey wee fucking uggo up til about 25. So the first 4 of those I was ugly for. Like, Chud meme ugly.
cis
het
normative
disgusting
You're never going to find a girlfriend sitting in your bedroom
scary stuff lads
You're not wrong lad. Even as someone who doesn't drink, I've gained the most clues at the pub.
How would that "moralize" [sic] you?
hopefully this isnt true
crowded house are decent though
they were once upon a time anyway
youtube.com
lol good lad
:(
been more pubs than you've had hot dinners
do canadians not use the king's english?
don't feel like being taken on a guilt trip and told how I have to donate
pubs, not pubes
I should warn all of you that I'm feeling very silly this evening.
good lad
Why would it be a guilt trip
Are you responsible for Hurricane Helene?
bellyemptyosis
wouldn't be so sure about that laddo
stephen fry and the fags
saw a lesbian couple today. it was fucking disgusting. should be illegal
what do you care
Nuclear weapons do not actually exist. The concept of these all-destructive weapons was created jointly by the United States and Soviet Union to ensure stability in the post-war world, as well as hegemony of the powers in their respective spheres.
Hiroshima and Nagasaki were not only not destroyed, they had never actually 'existed' until the "rebuilding" effort. The Japanese government was spared the thread of a ground invasion and conquest by US and Soviet forces in exchange for going along with the story.
All of the major "nuclear" research and development groups were just elaborate disinformation operations, and all of the low-level personell who witnessed nuclear tests actually saw high-yield conventional explosives.
This is the reason why the 'Big Six' nuclear powers so tightly control posession and research of nuclear weapons. Any state outside the clique who attempted to engage in such research would quickly discover the truth, and the entire plan would be blown. Neither Pakistan nor India are in on the Nuclear Sham, and are both simply bluffing each other.
It's difficult to tell if a girl is actually attracted to you or if she's just bubbly and charismatic
Also hard to know whether you should be frosty and aloof when trying to get with girls like this. I usually fuck it up and end up just seeming detached and uninterested
yes I am
aff tae bed
nearly all (3/4) papers mentioned a parent or sibling with a nose/pharynx infection. one (1/4) paper mentions hypothermia !
Welcome Home by Dave Dobbyn was released in 2005. I lived in New Zealand and that song was ubiquitous for many years after. It got ridiculous radio airplay back when that mattered. It was on tv shows and ads. Its fucking awful. I like Th' Dudes, Be Mine Tonight and especially Bliss will still get me drunkenly singing along. But Welcome Home is shit. In 2010 the Laneway Festival came to Auckland. In 2013 I got a free ticket from my brother who was playing. I lived in Christchurch but he lived in Glen Eden in Auckland and let me crash at his for the night. I get there and we are smoking a j out front of his place and he points out a house across the road, its Dave Dobbyns family home. He has seen Dave Dobbyn coming and going. We go to the festival and it was fun. The next day we are outside again and some flashy car pulls up onto Dave Dobbyns driveway. I see Dave Dobbyns bald head pop out of the drivers side. I run onto the road and shout "WELCOME HOME, FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART". Dave turns around, he shakes his head with a grin and waves. My brother is dying of embarrassment and orders me away from Dave. I tell that story any and every time Dave Dobbyn is mentioned, which is rare since I moved to the UK. Still pretty proud of it.
UK mentioned
Hiroshima and Nagasaki were not only not destroyed, they had never actually 'existed' until the "rebuilding" effort.
?
ahaha cracking story mate
also yeah Bliss is a cracker too
"forget about the last one, get yourself another"
Fuck not Glen Eden, thats where my dad lives. My brother and Dave Dobbyn were neighbours in Grey Lynn.
there's video footage of nuclear tests mate
national geographic mentioned
orange cream blood orange cherry vanilla red bull
clearly says natural geographic, dr. mouse
there is also 'footage' of iron man fighting thanos mate, doesn't mean its real.
national geographic magazine
put that runt through the wood chipper
nothing is real cus i haven't seen it with my own eyes
fascinating, any more delusions you wanna tell us?
Keep seeing videos of cats cooking food
Beds are Burning is one of the worst songs of all time.
no he didn't ahaha wtf
you right... bed time for me soon
I just ask out any bird I think is fit or nice
bodied that freak
midnight oil has a wide and diverse discography, it’s regrettable that beds are burning is the song most people overseas know them for, quite late in their career tbf
monday evening: ah yes these 3 bottles of wine and 20 cans of lager should last me 2 weeks if i just-
tuesday evening: well that's all the alcohol drank, what now
I wasn't defending Beds are Burning was I
god called an incel because im a virgin freak
Thats 'Beds are Burning'. Fucking The Sound FM used to play it all the time and it made my ears bleed. I'd rather listen to Mike Hosking fart into a microphone for 3 minutes straight.
oh and the US paper is 1 of the lot which says > 30 days = 38.3C. all of the others say 38C - and "a lot" - or ill just say 1 - the Japanese paper - patient is febrile at 38.5C
moroccan habibis got me actin haram astaghfirullah
no good
stop deleting the thread link in the old you mong
Nukes are fake space is fake god is real earth is flat get over it
i reckon you cant fit all of that in your belly desu, and even if it was water you would die
salami sambo for luncheon to you brother
somebody post the webm
did like 11 people get together and write the same paper once each, or maybe even 3 times
Why do you smoke? Smoking is very unhealthy and I want you to look after yourself.
kill youraelf
i dont know which one you mean
Fly me to the moon
Let me play among the stars
me mediterranean shrimp wrap for tea
open the shitting pubs
I preferred Liam Finn. I'll Be Lightning was a great album. The first 5 songs anyway.
It's the only song of theirs that got played on the radio in NZ.
I HATE HATE HATED it.
good lad
My future alty goth gf will appreciate all the effort ive put into learning about astrology and crystals and listening to emo music
that post wasnt me
I don't have an aelf or know what one is.
there's a fraction too much friction
Kill your ashlf
"at least one" i mean :)
is the proper way to say that bs
Okay, how are you anyway mate?
infantile fever or hypothermia can be a trigger for sepsis evaluations at presentation
plus herpes mentioned again which im glad
google is too powerful, from now on. im using yahoo for my web searching needs
one word: piss
reckon you cant fit it in your bladder
Williams & Wilkins
I’m a disgusting waste of space
it's okay to ask for a source in the case of spurious claims being thrown about willy nilly
how do you even drink 10L of beer + 3 bottles of wine in 24 hours? did you not go to sleep
Do you have a source for that
don't be so harsh on yourself
avec haricots
Someone at work described me as a "dark horse" today
the key to a convincing poojeet accent is to pronounce all you're T's as D's
example: "don't tell me what to do" because "don'td dell me whad do do you bloody bhenchod basdard please do de needful saar"
Must've been looking at your face when they said it
remembering a cringe memory and instantly making a finger gun gesture and emoting that I'm shooting myself in the head
I deserve it
tell the story over vocaroo
one time i wanked so hard i fell into another dimension
Yeah they were. Only autistics like you can't make eye contact during conversation
is it because you're hung like one?
drink 3 bottles of wine and 6 cans in 7 hours
sleep 6 hours
drink 12 cans in 10 hours
that's how i did it
easy
reminder to never poo more than once a week, if you do this you lose your aura which is what (((they))) want for you. resist them
With freaks like you? I wonder why
thats a lot
not so easy
yeah but why though
*counts my blessings*
One, two, three... hang on, I've been shortcha-
*turns around to see God pulling down the shutters on the boon shop*
damn you right
Why the long face mate?
for you
Must've seen a fella riding you looool gay cunt
this looks so fucking stupid
nice coat
if I hold in my poos I'll start farting and it's fucked because I'm around young women all day at toil
today on the bus home with my fit coworker I farted a bit and I'm really hoping she didn't smell it (she was standing next to me but we got off the bus together about 10 seconds later at our stop)
what was it like
What’s with not linking posts in these threads? New to /brit/ soz
yeah those Wilkins and Wilson fellers probably felt drawn to the field or urology haha
you'd be the last person i'd suspect to proliferate such stigmatising vitriol against neurodiverse people, shame on you sacked tranny
They know me as the rizzler I’m the panther dressed in black
204964985
is that how to lucid dream
shame on you sacked tranny
zoella wank
Y'all comfy tonight? Alri
yeah the taste was me sucking up lighter fluid gas through the cig
maybe even it is partially pyroloized
might get on the roids, been lifting for 3 years and have barely made half as much progress as i'd like, and i want to be huge and sexy while i'm still young, don't care if it knocks a couple of decades off my life expentancy, who the hell wants to be 80 anyway
Might get UK citizenship
hello Brian
When i give yo girl the rizz face theres no chance shes coming back
partially wot
Trade you
Imagine if you'd just worked a bit harder over those 3 years
about to try a full english for the first time lads
binley mega pedo
Only if I get dubs
another red flag in my opinion is how throughout all of the studies, only one of them mentions follow-up (NLs study, up to 7 years of age). all were decade-old studies
The Rizzler put out a call to Baby Gronk telling him that Big Justice is not to be messed with, else they will bring the BOOM
Things Australia stole from New Zealand-
Dragon, Split Endz, Crowded House.
Mr Asia, Mongrel Mob, Outlaw Bikies.
Lamingtons, Pavlova, ANZAC biscuits.
Flat White Coffee.
Russel Crowe.
Phar Lap.
Things Australia gave to New Zealand-
Brenton Tarrant.
downgrade
i bet this tastes fucking amazing
if you go to M&S in your lifetime somehow, then pick up some of their soup containers. mine was this orange one with butter in
im just a girl in the world
Lobster bisque?
i worked my arse off consistently the whole time, if anything i think i might have been overtraining, i've considered trying out mike mentzer's routine
erm no
i know what crab (imitation) tastes like
Big justice would heem baby gronk
I think only hot trannards should bother coming out because the bad ones really drag down the rest of em
Imagine if you'd just worked a bit less hard over those 3 years
have you ever gotten a knock on the door from the telly licensers lads?
mm yes all of these reports published, together being the first of their kind and making these red flags, i think this is the first thing i will call bullshit on. i do have to learn more before i can know whats off and what is right
Be nice to have though. Might one day reconnect wif me half brothers over there.
My trans gf is a hot and passing tranny she got on the hrt when she was like 13
no. that doesnt happen irl
good night lads
especially you mousey :3
* in doing that i need to be careful
im going to download some of the papers just in case something happens
Yeah only when I was a student though, think they reckon students are easy prey
Just said "no don't need one, sorry" and closed the door
no point dwelling on the past
i've seen plenty of videos on youtube of people confronting the telly licensers
who could it be knocking at my door?
be very quiet, tip-toe across the floor
if they hear, they'll knock all day!
i'll be trapped, and here i'll have to stay
good lad, I've been saying we need more aussie gals in the tranny porn scene
c:
every lower middle class wanker raves about M&S but most of it is overpriced tesco tier crap.
Nah this is povvo cope, M&S is a cut above
No way am i letting mine get into porn
Barely let her go outside
Do you know how much competition there is to lock down actually passable trannies? Shes way out of my league in that aspect and i know it
lolno, m&s and tesco don't even compare
yeah, he tried to come into my flat (no warrant). I told him he couldn’t come in and blocked him off. He still tried to get in so I socked him one right in the gabber and he sauntered off and I never heard from them again.
yeah its overpriced
but everything in America is too expensive. everything here (TESCO) is cheap. that alternate dynamic changes how good our food is compared to theirs
kek this
it really is a sign of lower middle-class status
was about to make the new, but no gookmoot and his posse of ne'er-do-wells decided to make me wait 5 minutes this time, oh well
Panicked samefagging due to meeting opposition, sad
cheaper for the facking user! im glad
and this (highlight) is nice
im gonna soke before bed though
orange and butter soup
Yeah i think ill pass on that mate
exposed him
Suppose lobster pissque is more your style haha
going to fail college
no its something like
maybe mango and chutney. maybe it was something called like that buttersqash?
make the cunting new
You lads want to try Booths. Shits all over M&S slop. It's like Waitrose without the Southern fairies clogging up the aisles.
wrong
i'm on it as long as no one else does within the next 2 minutes
Butternut squash?
Yeah it's butternut squash mate x
mental how yanks get their basket of shopping to the checkout and then find out how much tax they're paying on top of the shelf price
it must fuck them up as kids
imagine going intop a shop as a little boy and adding up the price of all the stuff you want, based on the prices on the shelves
then you get to the checkout and they say no, it costs more
heartbreaking
Are you foreign or something? Genuinely what are you saying
Tried to but it gave me that flipping timer
it's here
reminder that you had 3 or 4 warnings about not making duplicate threads before you was punished
only gay boys make new threads