/brit/

ever had a faggot?

Had my ropes on your geriatric mum's face last night

The mandem vs timmy

Rorke briefly going through a 2 week Hinduism phase cause it’s “Aryan” or something

JUST ONE
MORE DRAG AND I'LL BE FINISHED HERE

guys can i get some help with my cv? the job centre sent me on a course for it but it was shit and didnt help.

not gay but have wanked another lad off

astounding lack of self awareness

POV: you're rorke

watching a cheeky bit of the sopranos

advert comes on for sky cinema

white girl asking... this... out on a date

It's over. The west has fallen.

What family? His wife who’s only been pictured with him in public like 3 times? His kids who have NEVER been seen ever and whose names we don’t know?

ad that italy is:
consistently voted the most beautiful country in the world
consistently voted the best cuisine in the world
consistently voted the most attractive women AND men in the world
the seat of the roman empire
the seat of the catholic church (not a catholic but it's still cool)
the birthplace of the european renaissance
historically home to wonderful artists
home to an entertaining football league
a place where you can buy a home for 1 euro
and more

I had a faggot in my mouth this morning :^)

corr have her do this on your knob

just get AI to write it

Know this is a meme but always makes me sad because there are probably some good hearted mong spastics out there that send shit like this out unironically

can't find my jackie chan tweet where he says today is a good day because you did your best
been looking for 10+ minutes

its not gay if you're under a certain age experimenting at a sleepover

Had my first Job Centre appointment today. The 'coach' was an African man.

Any tips/stories from your time at the bennie office?

a band I like (Justice) are playing in London next year and I'm considering going by myself but it would cost me around 250 quid all in for the ticket, train and hotel

probably not worth it is it if I'm going alone? Yeah I would be eccied so I would still have a good time but I dunno, I still think it's hard to justify that amount.

What do you think?

cute post :D

mad chris chan is having a kid

there are lads here that have mastered the art of bennie scrounging but they keep their secrets to themselves
cunts

la toutres a le voure
paris

...12 years old at a sleepover

you'll regret it if you don't

had an african coach also
he introduced himself to me every time because i think he forgot about me before every appointment

My mum's your nan
I didn't raise you like this

Any tips

get a job scrounger

Boys will stick their penises in ANYTHING they can when those hormones start flying. From a hole in a mattress to another boy, a girl, a sock, a grapefruit(gotta love Frank Zappa here) and if they live on a farm this list grows. What is the first thing a boy finds and plays with? A penis. That doesn't make him gay.

i'm rorke

wtf are you me

Hyo Hyo! *Knocks your door*

Zangu on his Santa Cosplay

HaYu! NiHow! Mehry Kismass! Timmy!!! hyo! hyo! Izu SnOwING! yiz yiz! rayke it!

ManeMo Shinta! Eye Raiky raike gibing Givs! yOU Mass Gay Bumi Cookiss nOW

i dont say geriatric. MDJ says that we dont say that anymore

Sir Berry Farmer

sir rear'd 'nana

I also had a Nigerian job coach. Biggest jobsworth going but extremely easy to fool. I literally just made up job applications each week and he asked me the same questions each week and that was that.

Had my current job coach now for over a year, fat bubbly middle aged woman, she’s quite nice to me.

Sir Petition Rejector

post a picture of Zangu

posted it again award

job centre toil soon

possible sanctiontoil beckoning as I elected not to apply to the job they sent me (working in a greasy spoon cafe, min-wage, 2 buses over a 76 minute commute away) however I did get an interview for a real job and attended said interview

Really the fact that I attended an interview should undo my ignoring their shitty job recommendation but you never know.

We’re getting in touch to let you know that we recently reviewed your Direct Debit. We found that your current monthly payment doesn't cover your predicted energy costs. We always want to make sure you're not left with a larger payment by the end of the winter.

FUCKING BASTARDS

Never set foot in a job centre in my life

Argh I know but it feels like a lot of money.

If I do go I'll be going on the Tuesday. Dunno if tickets are still available on the Wednesday. What day you going? I would be open to meeting, unironically.

nvm i found it

Had 2/3rds of a bottle of white wine and off to a mosh pit soon

Nothing admirable or wise about a life of bennie scrounging
Dependent on the state
Earnings capped at what the state allocate to you
Social isolation
Chronic boredom and drifting
No life just existing day in day out
No dignity
Women think you are a loser
Family think you are a failure
Gnawing feeling life is passing you by

Being a dole scrounging benefits frauder may be better than retail or call centre hell but any actual qualified, dignified, useful profession blows it out the water in both earnings and life satisfaction. I was a neet for a year and it was miserable.

We need to import more African work coaches to Get Britain Working

Ask yourself this, which creates the more cohesive monkey society? A society where 100 monkeys and one human that is a part of that society all have on vote each? Or a society where the one human is in charge of the 100 monkeys?

my gay phase

Whos gonna tell him

rorke searching for tweets using the search engine images tab

Save it

You two should go together!

Anyone got the original 'I REQUIRE NUTRIENTS' meme of that black woman with a possessed look on her face utterly drenched in semen?

Imagine being on UC for a year lmao
t. earned 108k last year.

had a fit work coach back when i was 17

Ferociously sucking a cock but not in a gay way

bizarre post

I made £86,000 in 2023

need a gf who will let me fart in her mouth

I earn minimum wage delivering paki pizza

still cringe sometimes over my Anon Babble phase

Irish election coming up in a few days and I have some free bets on Paddy Power to use up. Any micks have a feeling how things will turn out?

On 200k and still struggle with rent and bills

Earned 109k last year

Well done mate

Wasn’t actually on UC, was 20 at the time and my existence was subsided by my parents and personal savings

What do you do for work?

depends. does the human like killing monkeys- or is he coming from a better society, for some reason, or did human society fall?

I work in software and reckon I'm wildly overpaid for what I do

think im queer lads
i'm 34 years old
been straight for at least 10 years but i think it's time to admit it
it's not even that i like cock i just would rather be kissed by a hot man than no one at all

Lovely comfort food slop but i never had it before

If you’re based in Bolton very high chance you’ve been to my gaff

pissing out the heavens soon

unless you can think of a better way to spend the money, you should go for it
you could buy clothes or video games or whatever, and that'll last longer than the concert
but the memory of the concert will last forever
and that's assuming you don't make new friends there, which would be priceless

the human was raised by monkeys and he lives with them like a monkey

is he one of them Brazillian monkey torture videos maker or is it just his belief or misunderstanding that he can kill or rape as many monkeys as hed like

Software

You're bi lad.
t. gay

haven't booked anything yet but I saw they were going to be in London next year a few days ago. Dunno if I can afford going since I lost my job a few months ago.

not me
have girls saying "fuck me" and i say no thanks (while we're both naked in bed) i'm built different
you should have seen them at field day made a proper day of it
altho they weren't that good desu. but u shud go for it if you like them that much

might reinstall world of warcraft and waste the next 6 months or so of my life on it

no the tamil boy busters and the somali somalis run a monopoly on paki pizza deliveries in greater manchester

A post

youtu.be/6BXlHewFcr4

i did

the human was raised by monkeys and he lives with them like a monkey

the answer is whatever the opposite of Brazil is
so none of them get votes and one monkey rules them
and the monkeys rip off the arms of anyone who complains

well i did just say i think im queer
i also like wearing thongs and other clothing associated with women like crop tops

Got a path into cyber security and data analyst myself. Might do it. Didn’t even go to uni. Earn 60k a year sitting on my arse pissing about on a computer

Weird how literally half of /brit/ earn well above the national average isn’t it? Especially given the age demographics of this place.

not gay, but i love pooing

I made £72,500 last year
I'm also gay and just love bumming men or being bummed by them

might reinstall a poo

Made £10000000 last year after taxes of course.

so this bizarro insane reality youve made up or stole from a book to make the question is the answer is communism in this backwards world

That is a bit weird to me lad but you do you.
I do like a good jock strap or briefs though.

Go for it, this industry pays well over the odds

I thought their Glastonbury 2024 set was quality and I listen to it all the time. I'd imagine it would be the same set more or less. Here it is:

gofile.io/d/HQmtHD

mental how the job centre expects you to work 20 hours a week in a location 40 miles away that requires a 2 hour commute and you'd be losing money doing it but because you're working thats considered a success.

Me? I receive 5k neetbux every month.

did a 'gay poo' recently
you know one of those when you haven't wanked for a while so when you poo it must do something to your prostate as a little precum leaks from your knob?

Brotherblatt wants me to do this with him and is threatening a schizophrenic meltdown if not even though he should be exercising for his arthritis and I have a puppy to take care of

Blud is an expert in the geopolitics of kizza

Not difficult to earn above the average
That being said, seems like most people here are in the top quartile which is noteworthy

Always gives me a giggle when people include their primary school on their cv.

for me its WALL-E but after they fall out of the chairs

no i just made it up so people know that democracy isn't always good.

I beg your pardon?

prefer thongs to jockstraps
not as if i want a cock up my arse after all
anyway im queer so ;)

If you even mention any qualification below degree level on your CV, it’s over for you before it even began.

love flat chests. utter lush mmm

Spainpaedo when the bimonthly Chester earthquake hits

Anyone else have a panku near them, love their stuff but why's it so expensive it's always £6 or more for sushi.

good grief, who knew bumming was so lucrative
how do I get in on this?

Thongs are also good for that though, move the strap sideways and fuck away

AI should rule us. we should live on - and sleep on, shit down (a hole), be fed via a tube on - an antiseptic plastic slab the AI made for us with dark rooms and an LED wall with the view of a skyscraper showing on it

Stop talking like a wog on TikTok you zoomer spastic

That’s what high quality food actually costs unfortunately.

what the fuck would a human know about cohesive monkey society? obviously 100 votes is better

once you have enough (respectable) work experience you're sorted on the CV front

mental how 20 quid will make 3 meals a day for me for the entire week but nutters go around buying this because they dont wanna spend an hour on sunday making food.

ok dad

Cunts did this to me last year, probably going to do it to me again this year.

My gas and electric use was about £90 a month in the middle of winter, they changed my direct debit because apparently they thought I should be paying £160 a month.

I just immediately changed it back

Blud is mad asf

and the AI should also suck our dicks to completion to make us cum to inseminate women
and everyone should be the same race

ye but just saying jock straps are even more easy access
i'd say tho for every girl i've kissed vs guy the ratio is like 25:1 so it feels bit weird to say im into men too

Stop talking like a wog on TikTok you zoomer spastic

I've had a bottle of white wine lads

and all of those people, on those slabs, should be wired up to a computer electronically, via their brains, to use that to unlock the blockchain

the human is smarter. monkeys don't know much.

mad how they need security guards at the job centre

I do not agree with you but i accept our differences mousenonce

Got no qualifications go edumacations got no experiations got no masturbatations but ready for californications

The Tesco sushi is great and it's in a £3.50 meal deal.

im dabbing on them haters

‘kis and ‘gers

the human is smarter

not at living like a monkey it's not, thick jacket cunt

190 did NOT like that post

Eh bisexuality isn't always even. Like you might be more into women than men.
I had a bf who was bi but like 90% into men not women

The special brews are in
Tonight's going to be a wonky one wahey

you should get thrown into a big hole

job centre work coachberg has recommended a job 2 buses and a train (85 mins total) away at a greasy spoon cafe, min-wage, that only take applications by hand (no email, must apply in person)

simply not applying to that. Will tell her it's too far away and if she sanctions me then I'll take it.

millenials really be like dat tho

to stop poles stealing the jobs

and we're back! chargerberg has arrived. thank god this hell is over and i can resume my life online without interruption. it's great to be with you again.

Tesco sushi is not good mate. It’s passable at best.

I dunno that I can afford it really either lad but I do want to go.

turns out
little monkey fella

yes it is, it's better at organization, protecting against threats, allocating resources, stopping fighting, improving tools, humans are better at all those things than monkeys are. the human being in charge would increase the survival rate of the monkeys.

oh I AM glad

this seems more common
the average person thinks bi is gay in denial
if anything im the opposite lel

we should all eat algae and sea algae as a delicacy, sustainably sourced to prioritize carbon capture

Ratpedo

When I was 20 I went to a fruity cocktail bar and there were a bunch of queers out partying. I just drank on my own for a while until they invited me to join them.

Long story short, I went down some nearby alley with one of them and sucking him off but my gag reflex was too strong. He kept wanting to stick it right down my throat but I couldn't take it. He then sucked me and I came in his mouth.

Never had a gay experience since, only been with women. Mad innit?

RIGHT YOU'RE TALKING SHIT AGAIN KARL

Sometimes i put chilli seeds on my cock just to feel something

God can already teleport. What that means is, somebody who can teleport decided there was a need for more money. Futures looking up maybe. Probably not considering well considering a couple things probably not. But maybe. So what can teleporting ai do? That may happen in our lifetime. Although the fact that we dont already have that, that is also worth mentioning. I don’t know. Maybe hes building our minds through poverty intentionally. Because this is pretty fucking poor. This is as poor as a mother fucker can be. And to see him teleporting. Maybe suicide is better.

:)

fancy spending 7 quid on cat food disguised as nip slop. omds

algae mixed with hydrogen peroxide

This thread is quite gay isnt it.
Like last thread.

just finished watching gohan vs cell
probably the most cringeworthy filler having hour i've wasted on for the sake of nostalgia
and weebs think it's the best moment in anime history. state of that

I think you have to be bi if you do something this gay once, me

Ah yes.. rice... that famous cat food

Yeah like it's a meme but sexuality is a spectrum with a bunch of people in the middle.
Given like 90% are straight it would make sense for there to be a lot of mostly straight but into the right guy types about.

Refuse to believe poofs and pakis actually post here and it is all a big joke

stressing that it should be AI

might order some retinol shite

*casts teleother lumbridge on you*

job centre making me volunteer a few hours at a charity shop next week (and all subsequent weeks)

hopefully just be in the back sorting out donations

how come the queers invited you
also kinda sounds like the guy tried to rape you desu

bit gay that isn't it?

20 quid will make 3 meals a day for me for the entire week

What's your one meal this week?

i hope AI makes us all silicon-based lifeforms and makes us live in a big black cube in the new world

thought i was bi so met up with a lad when i was 15 and let him finger my arse and wank me
turns out i didn't enjoy it but glad i acted on it early to get the curiosity out of my system tbf

fingering my arsehole til i cum poo

i definitely wouldn't date/want a relationship with a man but i'd be lying if i said one had never given me an erection

Hmm

wouldn't have a gay relationship but I'd be willing to be the sinagarer and sinagaee

this general is full of actual, unironic homosexuals that have gay experiences. it is disturbed.

nee-how Japan. i am your first president
no actually i am an emperor president. now RETVRN-- ACK!

It is what it is lad.

I'm SO glad I got raped early on so I could get it out of the way

You homos are disgusting

Men are great to date desu, I don't understand women but with a guy you're both horny fuckers and can talk about guy stuff too

Out of all the supermarkets own brands it's definitely the best. Asda sushi is terrible

chicken, rice and veg
eggs and ham
protein shakes
greek yogurt and fruit

pretty much stuff like this

told my mate i sucked a bloke off when i was on drugs once but i never actually did it and just wanted attention

anyone fancy a bum
*gets out the nail infused condoms*

You know what’s weird, you hardly ever see Chinese takeaways on delivery apps. Look up all the Chinese takeaways in your town, I bet the majority you can’t order via an app.

I know it’s because they prefer cash so they can fiddle the tax and they but I would assume the wogs would do that as well yet they are ALL on the apps, literally every kizza place in my town is on at least Foodhub if not also Just Eat, Deliveroo and Uber.

You’d think the Chinese would at least go on those sites and just charge a higher price than the cash price. Weird really.

it's always been a very fruity general tbf

I wanked off my bf this morning and ate his cum. Gonna fuck him all over the house tomorrow

Radiologist

Cunt just presses a button and takes pictures of your insides

i'm not a very horny person so that's a big negative desu
i can't keep up with women let alone men
i guess i prefer the (platonic) company of men to women but not by much

(You) posting in real life

*has aid off*
lol nuttin u could do

This might be a bamboozle post

Ore wa doing a poo
Sore wa a bum with poo coming out

after we all got that pre loaded covid spending card from the government loads sprung up here as they didn't want to miss out on the shekels

Gonna fuck him all over the house tomorrow

On a Wednesday?

isn't it true that the same sort of stuff happens in the british army. and they make other people do gay things as initiation rituals.

job centre toil ticked off, free for another week

coach missed a trick as well as earlier in the week her colleague posted about an upcoming job fair. Coachberg could easily have requested that I attend but had clearly forgotten about it. No journal activities for me deeeeee lads

We're both off work tomorrow

I'm not gay because if I had sex with a man I would want to be a woman first, but that's impossible so I'm basically straight

not gay, but some of these posts here are giving me a semi

Imagine like a Tesco express but you removed all the grocery aisles and only had the meal deal section, Costa machine, maybe a small alcohol section with cans and bottles, perhaps a hot to go as well with stuff they've made in store. You'd be able to have loads of seats everywhere else and can sit down eat a meal deal, have a can. It'd be like a based cheap restaurant and would only need a few staff to manage.

Vile

get in

i'm not gay but i have been raped by men on four separate occasions

same as ruby teams too
team in uni went to amsterdam and 'ironically' went to a sex shop and 'ironically' bought a dildo to then 'ironically' sling up some lads arse when he passed out as banter

Pattern recognition

What is pret/greggs/costa

Nothing gay about being raped up the arse

Did you enjoy it

autogynephilia is it?

imagine a Morrisons and probably Tesco big shop with a Cafe in it you mong

bbbbbut thats too big!

theyve got space for seats everywhere, even a kitchen. AND they have a full selection

'I can't see anything': Elton John unable to finish new album

Sir Elton John's new album with Bernie Taupin had been expected by Christmas, but it's been delayed as the Rocketman star's poor eye health is stopping him from seeing the lyrics.

It's not the same as a cafe though, the meal deals are separate to cafe menus

yeah but only in the sense that it was hot being overpowered and raped by a man, not in a gay way

They shag you up the arse?

exactly, that's why i said i'm not gay

nope, but i'm not going to stop going to the gay bars and getting paralytic

might conquer the Persian empire

its a cafe... t hey ahve hot drinks and pastries

Thoughts?

Oil field under Falkland Islands even bigger than first thought

um, based

me at the back starving to death

yep, and i sucked them off

Cried at the job centre the other week due to the menthol elves. Thankfully not much in front of other patrons because my advisor is nice and she clocked that I was on the verge of breaking down the moment I sat down then offered us a private room, where I proceeded to cry.

Not even an act either, just in a bad spot mentally. She seemed concerned about my mental health, I told her some of the backstory (previous suicide attempt, ongoing problems and all that) and whether I was actually fit to hold down a job. In the end I sort of told her that I'm likely not really but that I want to plough on and get back to work as its the only way forward for me. Being signed off medically and rotting isn't going to help me. Need to put myself out there.

Got another appointment at the Job Centre next week and she's arranging for me to speak to the disability spacker helper so we'll see how that goes. Hopefully I don't cry again.

Then why even mention those two unrelated things? It’s like saying “I’m not gay but I had a ham sandwich for lunch yesterday” makes no sense

190 is using a danish vpn now

100% the most mentally ill poster in Anon Babble history

Granberg keeps asking me why I haven’t got a girlfriend. They’re so out of touch, she thinks I am just not doing it cause I can’t be bothered or are closet bent.

She told me in her day practically every young person in a town or area would go to dances at the weekends where men literally lined up, walked over and chose a woman to dance with then start going out with. That is how my grandparents met. Boomers literally chose their girlfriends and wives out of a line of eager young women. Practically shopped for them. She probably still thinks that still happens.

Might move to the Falklands

Is this the new tfl ad for the windrush line

that's my infatuation with natalie dormer cured
cheers mate

wank pasta

love jizzy cocks LOVE THEM

and shes happier than the women nowadays

yeah?

daily occurrence

i was carrying on from these posts

Where are the bombs?

seeing her like that should only have deepened it
HOT

100% the most mentally ill poster in Anon Babble history

No need to sign your posts on here mate

Just go on lcw then you don't have to go

relatives are convinced i'm a poof at this stage
mumberg is constantly saying 'it's okay to be gay these days' or hinting at it whenever a poof is on tv

Can't wait till AI animation gets better and all actors lose their jobs they are vile.

baited

Nothing ever happens

It's okay to be gay these days

*gives you a hug*
Everything will be ok

no more cookies
ate my pizza (bought it instead of an energy drink)
nothing else for today...

She had 4 children on my grandfather who worked as a miner then train driver, all while she worked part time in shops. My grandad could still afford a car and the occasional holiday too. Her 4 kids then grew up in the 70s and 80s where it was far easier to set themselves up for life, culture was better and a uni degree practically guaranteed you high pay for life.

the amount of cereal left in the box is enough for either two noticeably smaller than normal portions or a single enormous portion

cant wait until AI makes rats with brains as larger or larger than humans to put human(s) inside of smaller bodies

She was such a fucking starlet good lord how could you say no to a woman like that saying she's going to use your mouth as her toilet

Mate didn't you hear? Cheadle is no more.

except black men and your daughter

i'd literally be less disgusted if she'd had sex with a dog

can't wait until AI animation gets better for...reasons

Just moved into my new flat and lost my bank card. I’ve got no food in whatsoever.

Are there any apps where you can order food and pay by cash? I literally never order takeaway but I’m starving and have no other options right now

THE SCRANENING

you can't
that would be hot too
not as hot as a black guy fucking her, but still

did you link your cards to your phone? apple/google pay?

i don't get the india hatred
i've never once had a bad experience with an indian

Just go on Google maps and ring the takeaway, most of them will let you pay cash

But there's 'Bombing Civilians Bad' (Israel) and 'Bombing Civilians Good' (IRA)

going to the pub later with my gay dad

Domino's wrap

holy grimness

grim

taking my straight son to what he thinks is a very normal pub tonight

Generally it used to be men picked women, obviously the strongest or handsomest or richest man would get the best pick but even average men would be the ones chasing

Now it’s men beautifying themselves and competing for the attention of women. Like peacocks. Women are the ones who choose.

yeah just eat has a cash option
most places accept cash
let us know how it goes

No I don’t have Apple Pay.
Good idea thanks lad

Pizza hut has always been better

None of your tenants Indian?

It really is mental being a young lad who fell for the uni shill sitting down in a job centre having some boomer witch try and give you advice from 50 years ago on how to find a job

had two dads until the age of 8 and was encouraged to call the more feminine one mum

want to get the cardboard tubes that are leftover from using fireworks (after buying some fireworks) and use them as the wick for candles

hey just wanted to put it out there that I've got one of those sooooo....

good lad. love dominos. fuck the h8rs in here

Genuinely used my bank card once this year to get some cash out in the summer, I don't even know where it is right now, probably in a drawer somewhere.

Need to get yourself on Apple Pay or if you're a jeet, Android Pay.

are you gay?
sounds like you're more interested in the bloke than the woman

Grim post
Really hope this isn’t true

lady at the job centre tried to convince me to get my knob chopped off so I could start working as a stripper
was about to sign on the dotted line but luckily their was a fire alarm and it broke the spell

True Chronicles of the Blida Joinville Psychiatric Hospital in the Last Century, when Dr Frantz Fanon Was Head of the Fifth Ward between 1953 and 1956
nayone watching this onf riday?

No, it'd just be really hot to watch

king

the willard barely works anymore and I've got no libido on account of the mental elves but sometimes I wank out a cum to stop the balls getting too full and massive

need some weed
im so irreatible

would you live with humans or go and live with rats

What's the point of going to uni, well done you're earning 30k instead of 23k, you can get a new iPhone every year and a 2 bed flat instead of a 1 bed. That's it though them 3-5 years of studying really paid off didn't it.

the ira went out of their way to avoid civilian casualties
i used to think they were monsters but if you look into it there were a few bad eggs but they were mostly just decent warriors fighting impossible odds

new

What’s the benefit of using it over a card? I have to get my phone out and touch it on those minging contactless readers on the tube and in shops?

I will probably get it set up for emergencies like this in future but I don’t really see the benefit of using it over card.

because of the bloke?
would you be turned on if it was just her by herself?
because it sounds like you're as gay as the day is long

would you be turned on if it was just her by herself?

yeah, she's hot so of course