/brit/

LOVELY FUCKING CANS edish

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theoretically could you get a girl to poo in sub zero temperatures let it freeze half way out her arse and then get on your knees suck it like it's her cock

I am a sick man. ... I am a spiteful man. I am an unattractive man. I believe my liver is diseased.

I feel a lot more at home in this city than I do back in Birmingham, if you catch my drift...

i hate cans lass. why doesnt she show us her fanny behind that can

nth for the holodem

She can't, lad
That can is stuck in her twat

its actually a cheeky knob as thick as the stella can x

im a big fan of cloudbusting, somewhere in between, and wild man

youtube.com/watch?v=VjEq-r2agqc

still think of the schizo i used to visit who would play this on repeat every night. cant believe it never occurred to me that he might be suicidal

wonder what cans lass would think if she discovered she was a meme here and we've all had a wank to interracial fantasies of her taking jungle bbc

Other news is I did 25k steps today as part of that fucking step challenge shite they do at work
My legs are sore, lads

Rorke's nan living in a care home rotting away on her own and being tortured by wogs
Rorke using AI and technology to cope with his loneliness

just scranned me scran

thats a asian not a n

strangers things nonce

friend tells me his girlfriend reads erotic books

thinks this is hilarious

is this normal?

Paedophile jailed for nine years, starts crying during sentencing

saw a load of them eating food with their hands outside an ethopian cafe earlier

mad how people don't have better things to do

dont know how you find time to get 25k steps in
isn't that like 2 hours plus of walking about?

anime

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I would do this with Emma Watson.

Are they old? I think it's pretty normal for women 30+ to read that stuff. Knew a hot girl that wrote bizarre fanfiction romances

olivia coleman could still get it

haha yeah that's toomuch of a commitment.
Right, back to posting webms of women pooing on camera

peaky blinders framed picture above the stairs in my new build

coleman's mustard could still get it

just go for a 30-40 minute swim instead

remember october 7th in my evil incel smelly childhood bedroom

fucking LOVE this on sausages
didn't know what to scran for tea and this might just be the ticket

they are in the 20-25 age range

Turkey Teeth status?

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lover's_Leap

Bluff Park, Hoover, Alabama
Lovers Leap, DeSoto Caverns, Childersburg, Alabama
Lovers' Leap, Tombigbee River Mile 96, Jackson, Alabama
Noccalula Falls Park, Gadsden, Alabama
Lovers Leap, Green Forest, Arkansas
Lovers' Leap, Greenwood, Arkansas
Lovers Leap, Levesque, Arkansas
Lovers Leap, Knights Ferry, California, alongside California Highway 120
Lover's Leap, Lake Tahoe, California
Quincy, California, off Buck's Lake Road
Vail, Colorado, name of a run on Blue Sky Basin
Lovers' Leap Bridge and State Park, New Milford, Connecticut
Lover's Leap, Yonah Mountain, Georgia
Rock City, a roadside attraction in Lookout Mountain, Georgia
Two Lovers Point (Puntan dos Amantes) in Dededo, Guam
Spirit Lake, Idaho
Lover's Leap Pere Marquette State Park, Grafton, Illinois
Lover's Leap, Franklin Creek State Natural Area, Franklin Grove, Illinois
Starved Rock State Park, Illinois
Lover's Leap, Carrsville, Kentucky
Lovers' Leap, Natural Bridge State Resort Park, Slade, Kentucky
Lovers' Leap Park, Bangor, Maine
Cumberland Narrows, Maryland
Purgatory Chasm State Reservation, Massachusetts
Lovers Leap, Hannibal, Missouri
Lover's Leap, The Palisades, Weehawken, New Jersey
Philmont Scout Ranch, outside Cimarron, New Mexico
Blowing Rock, North Carolina
Lover's Leap, Hot Springs, North Carolina
Lover's Leap, located along Oklahoma State Highway 10 and the Illinois River in Tahlequah, Oklahoma
Eagles Mere, Pennsylvania
Lover's Leap Trail, in Custer State Park, Custer, South Dakota
Lovers' Leap, in Cameron Park, Waco, Texas
Lover's Leap, in Lynn, Massachusetts
Lover's Leap, in Washington County, Utah
Lovers' Leap in Patrick County, Virginia, about 10 miles (16 km) west of Stuart on U.S. Highway 58
Natural Tunnel State Park, Duffield, Virginia
Lovers' Leap, Turn Point, Stuart Island, Washington
Lovers' Leap Hawks Nest State Park, Fayette, West Virginia
Maiden Rock, Wisconsin
Whitetop Mountain, Washington County, Virginia

Normally would only get around 15k daily

Two hours of walking isn't really much
I take the long way to the toil so that's about 40 minutes each way then a 30 minute walk at 2pm

might apply to this job at meta

I'm Indo-European.

not playing the new witcher game not playing as a woman because im not a tranny

been trying to do more walkberging but only get about 7-8k if i walk an hour
must need to speed up

CSAM officer?

Same

i did 34k in the middle of the work day in may 2023. toilberg didnt send me any messages so i just went out and walked. was scared in case i got a work call the whole time but i thought fuck it if that happens ill just call a taxi no matter what it would cost it would better than getting sacked

katy huffing dat galaxy gas in cronem's stolen range rover

Apparently my father has skin cancer. I've spent an hour trying to convince my sister to not send him an email wishing him the best

he has what he deserves

he has what he deserves

did he finger your arse when you were a kid or something?

was he a bad father?

im never saying the nigger word again

no new likes on the dating apps in 2 days. it's over for me.

Grandma has had skin cancer for like 50 years and she's fine just has to wear big hats outside and long sleeves

Might troon out

ktim except 4 months

What should replace GDP as the most import metric/metrics a country uses?

Living Wage

House prices to average wage ratio

Cost of pint vs minimum wage

Fertility Rate

my father has skin cancer

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white population

Percentage of forest cover and access to clean water

never used dating apps meself

do you need to put shirtless pictures showcasing your muscles to get matches?

reckon this is the most ive done in one day
cant remember what i was doing then

An awful father and a shit man. Dragged me into this world and didn't raise me in any real way. Actively undermined me and conspired against me. I realised that I'll have the opportunity to insult him at his funeral

His first and only son thinks he's an irredeemable twat

Yeah it's annoying that it's only skin cancer

for me it's celtic's own niggerless coon

shitbox is being repaired if they DARE charge over £300 i shan't be returning

yeah, but did he finger your arse though?

might troon in

Ever shag you up the arse?

yeah yeah

we've found a new property for you on Rightmove

already sold STC

what the fuck is the point
useless CUNTS

oh no, the slippy s curved baton is getting smeared with cocoa oil

Sohee, is a South Korean actress and former singer

lol
she was shit in train to busan

Actively undermined me and conspired against me

How so?

mad how avril lavigne dated tyga

would you rather be welsh or scottish

regularly clock in at 35k+ max i think was 50k doing long nightclub sessions/festival then after party

No, I would not.

dead

step posting is the new salary posting

did the man put one foot in front of the other?

no

Phineas Float

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hes got an s curved baton

ive def done more than 34 but i dont record it . phone just does it passively and is really bad at presenting the information cba looking it all up

incel walks are my thing

wonder how my life would have differed if i ate my dinner as a young lad. Reckon not eating right limited my genetic potential in many ways

Scottish 100%. Epic lore, epic place, and im Presbyterian

ye i am just counting from the health app on iphone too didn't even know about it until the other year lmao
average night out at a nightclub (go to techno mostly) is around 35k, especially long sessions go up to around 50k

if you say bad things about your dad at his funeral everyone is going to think eh shagged you. so in the end he gets the last laugh because you a victim

i'd rather be GAY

I still never get 2000 calories a day on average
nicotineberg completely wrecking my appetite

hit 50k steps once but it was when i was in poland so i was just walking all day. poland is a lovely place btw. very nice to walk around.

how do you construct the int catalog url with the /brit/ search query?

im already scottish

25,000 steps isn't that much. I do 20,000 on a slow work day, 30,000 when it's busier, and that's without accounting for walking dogberg when I get home

remember doing massive walks when trying to hatch eggbergs on pokemon go

got chaturbate on

Longest I ever actually did was somewhere in the high 70k
I think around 78kish

Don't ask
Don't fucking ask
Fucking 'ooh let's decide who wins by walking the most on Sunday'
Fucking wankers
Was worth getting €100 tho

I do at least 20k steps a day at work.

category?

it's literally 3 hours a day of walking

can't walk far without my shins burning

you were born a mong
doesnt make a difference waht you eat

i shagged a fat chaturbate streamer with massive chebs

did 400k steps yesterday

rorke the typa nigga to hear a spooky campfire and go "knock it off guys randy roughnuts isnt real" but later that night randy shows him just how rough his nuts really are

timmy cope x

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I hardly ate as a kid/teen but now people say I eat a lot

Utter bollocks. I walked from deep brooklyn to manhattan and it was 50k max. Took all day

deepthroat

wanking dogberg when you get home more like
dirty bugger

love sleeping me

based walk

I wouldn't mind either but I have respect for the Scots because it's cold up there and they just get on with it

walking is for fatties and boomers. I roon 20k steps minimum a day

Is it really true the blasphemy against islam just became a crime in the UK? Can someone please reassure me I'm being tricked or it's wildly exaggerated? I can't take much more man genuinely.

Isn't too hard, lad
You set out around 5am, you stop around 10pm
Just pacing yourself
And of course, play an hour or two of the kickabout at a park

Why did his dumb parents let him go

obviously not mongo

Longest I ever actually did was somewhere in the high 70k

I think around 78kish

Alri literal leprechaun

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looks like a timmy

i dont actually do that many steps when i'm on holiday because so much is stop starting with restaurants gallerys/going in buildings

listened to 450 steps tracks yesterday

not that much then is it

didn't know they made that many songs

would walk more but goutberg gets me on the ropes in my big toes

i get this when running never while walking or dancing tho

loading up the redpill launcher to fire some truth bombs

can I quit vaping without actually binning it?
what if I put it in the cupboard

alri bluff king hal lad

just another part of you in the closet

En passant.

why is rimming so popular these days? will girls really just go to town on your stinky ringpiece whilst sucking you off, just because they think it's the done thing?

A brush fire destroyed his house in Laurel Canyon in 1979. Mayall lost 2,000 hours of video-taped movies, 16th century antiques, a pornography collection dating from the 1800s and his diaries written over 25 years.

His sister Pam
Works in the shop
She never stops
She's a go getta

erm
not sure you can feasibly rim a lad while sucking on his willard

Belgian.

had my ex rim me
new gf doesn't like it
but good thing it's been normalised

the pornographic jew has normalised it in porn but i can't imagine common shaggers are eating each others rings on the reg
mad how their next goal is to make piss and piss clean ups normal in porn based on my observations

no bird is going near my brown eye

The done thing? Idk that phrase
Like the trendy thing?

Might buy a cheap laptop to play the video gaming entertainment at the toil

PURE SATIRE
U
R
E

S
A
T
I
R
E

Cheers lad x

yes zoomerslags only have porn addict men to choose from so have to do all that stuff

corrr a good handy is 10x better than sex

tried to force me to abandon a beloved pet because he didn't want to risk me moving back in for a few weeks and bringing the pet, actively discouraged me from going to uni because he didn't want to risk me moving back in for the duration, threatened to knock me out and bragged about it to my sister, never involved me in anything he was involved in and had no interest in any activities or conversation with me

evil man who's getting what he deserves

NEW

x

erm
bit embarrassing that

i have taken poison

Christians were and are so mentally ill

One of my employees is a beer snob. No other way to put it. Its his 30th this weekend and everyone chipped in to buy him a few gifts with one being a case of his favourite beer which they don’t sell in this country anymore so had to get it sent over from Ireland. As a joke though we wrapped a crate of fosters up for him.

We give him his gifts and we wrote on the label “we know it’s your favourite”. He opened it and we all kept a straight face. He looked around we all kept a straight face and then he exploded and said we are all wankers and none of us actually know him and he’d never drink that piss etc etc. it went on that long most people started to file away out of embarrassment and then his best work mate said “that was a joke this is what we really got you”. It was like a shit sitcom and no one said anything as he opened it and then we all just went about our day and no one has mentioned it lol.

Let go and forgive him

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What was the beer you can't get there, lad
Also he doesn't sound very fucking Irish

stroke counting is the new step counting

are you not walking in those places too? i done like 20k steps just in one interior (it was a mine)

if you're doing this you might as well go all in and get a p-spot vibrator in ya

I should forgive an evil brain damaged man because of a mentally ill religion that neither of us believes in?

Actually I have no idea what he believes in. All he's told me is that he's a freemason who believes that freemasonry has existed since the beginning of time, and that evolution is "just a theory"

Licking someones arsehole is normal

did he interfere with your arsehole though?

wouldnt let a bird near my arse. it's like fucking velcro down there. every time i wipe, the bog roll gets all tore up and falls onto the floor in small twists and rolls that i have to pick up and put in the toilet. cant even fathom how much shite is gathered around my ring after a day or two without a shower.

This is actually pretty mad. I'd quit out of shame if that happened to me

We need more brown people not speaking English in this country, get them housed and get the fucking men wanked

Lol. What a cunt

No I'm saying making up a fairytale about it and torturing people to death over it is mentally ill

why not?

I need my eyes.

I forgive everyone instantly I have 0 capacity to hold grudges. Never been genuinely angry with someone in my life

I never understood why we demonize Stalin I like him out of all Soviet leadership

the economy demands it

Some disgusting creatures here. I'm clean shaven and wash my arse with hand-wash on folded toilet roll. We're species apart

FOY ESL

Right lads, off ta bed for me

Says the arsehole licker. You wanna come over and taste what i had for dinner last night? Ya sick freak.

So you're a bootlicking pushover?

I'll be honest, I often fantasize about having a girl lick my arsehole and I'd be more than willing to lick a girl's ringpiece myself

desperately hope they all die soon

just learned my gf of 5 months has had 4 abortions im seriously considering ending it

Mika AND Ruria-chan~ on /brit/ sugoi

Nao is lovely, them serene chunes are where it's at x

Wouldn't wish my arse on my worst enemy.

it's an oriface for waste material

fosters is Australian for beer

so what who are you trying to impress nobody gives a shit

mate of mines gf was some sort of ice skater mascot for an ice hockey team
found out she once let four lads gangbang her after a game and got pregnant by a mystery creampie and she aborted it
still married her

oh grow up incel

Nope just an understander. I see people for what they are, pathetic and lost creatures like myself looking for unconditional love.

grim

le based christian moralism :D

Clint Eastwood

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she's literally cursed

shame they changed the wiki page for anilingus, it used to offer aer lingus as an alternative page lmao

not finding a girl that has a younger, underage sister

not raising said sister to be the perfect innocent untouched pure virgin you can marry at 18

not leaving her older sister for her

Lad, you got some learning to do

grim

considering

If she's repentant don't leave yet, if she's not then get rid of that has gas chamber of a womb

im pro choice but its seriously rattled me for some reason ive shagged about a bit and so has she but im sort of in shock

my ex broke up with me for the potential to get back with her ex who treated her like absolute shit, just because his dad was rich. She even asked Google to make the decision for her

I'm "other"

SCMAREAINGING

rorke twerking to pink pony club

socramegnin

sounds like you dodged a bullet mate

Dame Edna Everage's musky tuppence

scsathsdhr

We live in a society

janny wtf

council painted over the graffitti on the footbridge only for someone to spray it again

The way she blows

Buzz.

The ai bot has noticed that other post got replies so has joined the fray with a similar post. This place is utter dogshit.

ummy what did he do

Imagine the amount of times she's been shagged on that sofa.
Legs up in the air, some bloke digging into her like a jackhammer

Ariana Grande supports the LGBTQ+ community x

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the vtuber i liked turned out to have a boyfriend so let's just say i know how you lads feel

Blame your Dad for not being a rich and corrupt foreign ambassador

malky mackay sex arse stuck at customs

idiot

-2 freshmeat about to get cracced open x

lol

mad how shes basically legal loli to wank to if you go back through the years

she

her

um...

What does the + stand for?

need to see olivia's rodridgo

very hungry for mozzarella sticks all of the sudden

ummer

?

ummy

funny how heatheryank can't help but start pedo posting while doing his little vpn flag avatar samefaggotry

umposter on a madone

im literally like a lizard
just immobile watching the thread get updated with lifeless eyes
maybe a post will catch my attention like a fly does to a lizard and ill sit forward and post something
but most of the time, no

"liking" a vtuber was your first mistake

playing skyrim in bed
you cannot fathom being this comfy

was at work today and remembered that lad from a few days ago who said "gay porn burger for tea" and spluttered out loud at my desk

lol that was me
glad you liked it x

Dating apps don't work for me. There have been two girls I was hitting it off with but after I suggested meeting up they stopped responding.

sisterberg thinks we shouldn't put the dishwasher on timer to run in the middle of the night because it leaves the console light on
the light which probably uses 0.00001kWh per year
environmentalism is a brain disease man. I just said do what you like and walked away

ktim
just a dead-eyed ghoul waiting patiently to go back to work me

have you ever kissed her in a non-sibling way

I'M ON A MEXICAN WOAHHHH RADIO

Fucking Greeks.

how many hours do you have clocked in that game

not even funny, but now i'm laughing at it too

ummy

think shes ever been BLACKED raw? thinks she owns a BLACK dildo?

got a big one

um

probably a 1000 in total

the big questions

umming inside umposters ummy

Genuinely believe I would have fared in life if I had simply visited a prostitute when I was 16

16 clumsy and shy

it worked for rod stewart

what else are they for? not like they do anything interesting

tweaking umposters' nipples

um ...

16 wanking and gay

My arm hair and my head hair.

Phasekeks...

just a typed that this notification popped up

Perfect timing x

umposter is gagging for it

what did Paul McCartney declare after a pissing contest by members of the Beatles?
that's PB, PB alri

wonder if my favourite poster is in right now x

I am.

hiyaa

if it's really you post the gimmick of yours that I like

grangle grangle

Not sure what that has to do with what I said about my ex

not just liking, but fancying ("liking")
do you get upset when an actress you like has a boyfriend?

Never make demands of me you foul beast.

may i have your extremely racist takes on this photograph?

the gimmick of yours that I like

don't like any actresses

give us a hint xx

my smart watch always thinks I'm suddenly exercising whenever grangler posts because it spikes my blood pressure so much

grim
what do you even do for that long
i felt like i had done everything by 100 h

this is multiple playthroughs over 14 years tbf

NEW

New

mostly shuffling and standing
even going quickly through an art gallery not gona be more than 2k steps an hour