lysergic acid edition
/brit/
all that build up for such a terrible op
Tom Cruise does their own stunts
it's good
you like it
Mines better
Sos my /brit/
zooey
WHY DOESN'T HE MARRY IT THEN
If your enemy is hungry, feed him;
if he is thirsty, give him something to drink.
If your popcorn is buttery; marry it
every single window in the house is open
*to the tune of rich girl*
you're a gay porn and you've gay'd your porn
cause you know it don't gay porn anyway
you can rely on the gay porn bumming
you can rely on the gay porn bumming
If you’re reading this, Mission: Impossible - The Final Reckoning is out RIGHT NOW and needs your help at the box office. If you don't, the Lilo and Stitch live action remake will continue to beat this movie at the box office. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to go see Final Reckoning IN THEATERS and spread word of mouth to everyone you know.
imagine how much better this would be if you couldn't see the inside of her shoe
Morning, lads.
SoberCanslad here with the update
Had a lovely, lovely fucking nap. It was lovely to sleep for like 9 hours.
Also, just wanted to share: massive fucking chebs
just sang this out loud
do you ever go the pub or are you exclusively a canslad?
did you shake your pasty arse too?
I was stone stock still apart from my mouth my lungs and my vocal chords
Only if toil are paying which is rare, probably once every 2 months
500ml can is 2:15 here
568ml pint is liie €6
But I see with the cans I can post on /brit/ while looking at videos of ginger Sadhbhs who need rape correction
Can't really offer rape correction to the Sadhbhs are the pubs
Godspeed Canschad
Looking at insta slags and being sad that i cant have big honkers in my face
then you're doing it wrong I'm afraid
*starts humming and wagging my fingers like a conductor at an orchestra listening to *
Hmm hmm hm hmm hm hm hmm! Hmm hmm
sleep is something people do underestimate the importance of so I'm glad to hear you got a good one in
woohoohoo
so utterly fucked that I don't know if I should kill myself or jump and down with glee at the freedom this gives me
It's mostly just the massive fucking Latvian chebs that seem to jiggle of their own accord while she breathe sI'm happy about
It's been nearly one week to the day since I last saw it and last Tuesday she was quite tired as she didn't get much sleep so she wasn't her useful bouncy self which saddened me as sheeing her chebs clashing like cymbals invigorates my loins, you see
Top o' the morning lads.
thought that was james may from the thumbnail
love being unnecesarily mean to ai
calling them dickhead and such
non they cud do
"it is"
"..."
Hey Joe, where you gonna go?
You're a sick fuck you know that?
not allowed
Give me cheese or give me death
You should be nicer and say thank you more since that takes up their resources to respond
Hello
No it doesn't cunt.
Jesus answered, “The work of God is this: to believe in the one he has sent.”
please don't call me cunt, I'm sensitive
what was the question?
*sets a jar full of mosquitos and wasps loose on your window sill*
is it easy to get an office job
It is for shit like call centres but its hard to get the 15 email a day meme ones
you'll be first on the chopping block when the singularity comes mate
makes me want to eat crabcakes popcorn churros gumbo etc.
erm, right, lads.
Did a bit of a fuck up
Shaved off the beard
I look like a weird mixture of a nonce looking to nonce some kids and a kid that would be nonced
And I have the til in about two hours. With a full in toil day today and tomorrow
Right
Might be getting laughed at by the Latvian. Thinking of a witty comeback like 'shut your fucking mouth before I smash you in the face and rape you'
mad how preferring one of these means you're gay
Actually not that hard, depending on what you mean by 'office' job
Just being some drone in a chair in a desk? Not too hard
do not put the beard back
only stubble is allowed
witty comeback like 'shut your fucking mouth before I smash you in the face and rape you'
this is perfect lad, use it
u said the birds at work were flirting with you now
Have any of you ever been to Zurich before? Literally what is there to do there other than sit by the water and drink beer?
you need more?!
hey bro smell my finger
last post im making here. dont know whats happened but over the past few years /brit/ has slowly been replaced by automated spambots and im not just talking about the egyptian and the belgian, but the leaf and the aussie and brazilian, the bradleyposter too. All of them are some kind of weird AI that looks like its been created by indians who have a very vague understanding of what british people talk about, so theres this bizarre situation now where I think AIs are talking to each.
Look at these conversations and interactions, most of them dont make sense at all and so embarrassingly try hard and unfunny and weird toilet "humour", theres a strange aversion on here for long posts like this one which will inevitably attract ire (for no reason) and lame responses like "didnt read xD" but people dont actually talk like this. I think the owner of Anon Babble have allowed bots on here to keep up the traffic for some reason, but at this point I am certain 90% of posts on here are AI bots and you aren't interacting with real people.
We just like this all the time now after the Egyptian, yeah?
I'm going for the Tuco from Breaking Bad look.
I just need brown face paint
Giving her sense of humour she'd probably start laughing
Lad, 4 19/20 year old girls flirting with you is not good. They're annoying as fuck
None of them even have good chebs to weight ratio
Altho one of them definitely looks like she's about 12 and I still have to wonder how she got hired
been outrageously sleepy last couple of days
don't know what's wrong with me
scranning a poo
I actually feel bad for her
She gets put into acting as a child then turns 18 or whatever and has been shat on for a year+ by millions of people for being ugly
She didnt even say or do anything just widely hated for being ugly
what? describe the perfect place for activities and what sort of activities are you looking for in a city
any city is boring with no mates
Sick howits normalised for a fully grown 19 year old man will try and take advantage of a 26 year old child
bitch could at least paint on some eyebrows
true, they should hate the showrunners
See you in a few hours.
Proudly brought to you by HUBLOT
Going with mummy, naturally. I'm not going on my own.
It's a last minute visit planned, no clue if there are interesting museums, historical sights, or any kind of activities. I imagine you can get a cruise of some sort on the water, that would be nice.
Saw a Fifa museum but not into football. Booked it with no prior research and was hoping a person who had been can provide some tips.
Prisoner of Azkaban was so kino
CÎROC™ ULTRA-PREMIUM VODKA :
“THE ART OF CELEBRATION”
@grok saar verify?
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mapchart.net
which ones have you guys been to
the stink poop butt
Get the small boats ON our shores
Get the migrants IN our women
Migrants' bellies full.
Migrants' bollocks empty.
is that your prepared political statement is it
Luv my pensioners frozen
Luv my migrants pampered
Luv my timmies euthanized
Luv my katies stretched
Dont think im missing out on much else
Get the migrants fed
Get the migrants washed
Get the migrants medically checked
Get the migrants housed
Get the migrants shagged
Get the migrants paid
pooey
sassenach bu ghain
I couldnt imagine myself having an unironic gf
You can walk down the same road 100 times and still miss out on things
Places I've been to (as in stepped foot in) rather than merely passing through.
i consider myself a world traveller
reconquista!
Oh deary me.
Get yourself to the midlands lad! x x
based
fell asleep at 8pm
woke up at 7am
mental
how's that hair transplant holding up?
this isn't even a lie lol
Get up lazy bones!
Fall asleep 1am
Wake up 7am (lie im bed for am hour cant go back to sleep)
Fuck you, body
FUCK.
YOU.
grim
You must love your little bit though.
having dinner with rorke last night
he claims to be cultured
couldn't tell the difference between a chardonnay and a sauvignon
larping twat
nah I just don't have a car and have no reason to travel
I'm sure most other cities mog hull but it's all I know
Shit that actually works.
Think I might start being a White supremacist Viking larper
Any of those in? Can you advise on it?
the wetherspoons red wine is good you should definitely try some soph-fakin-good :D
the humble humber
you could get a bus to adventure, i don't drive either
i'd say a train but lol trains
Whens the last time you saw a forest?
thought id dip my toe in to yankland, wasnt impressed. all the cities stank of urine for some reason, couldnt wait to leave
idk 6-7 years
Cascadia is naturally beautiful but full of hippies and junkies that refuse to bathe.
The natural beauty is wasted on those freaks.
Vancouver was a Chinese ethnostate and has now transformed into a Punjabi one too.
tom cruise is a they/them?
that's extremely fucking bleak man.
I didnt see much beauty. I saw rampant homelessness, miserable weather, pick up trucks, someone explained the trees in the forest surrounding these cities suck up all the sweat and urine and warm air from the sea so theres a disgusting muggyness in the air everywhere you go
okay?
I'm Tom Cruise and I identify as a they/them Sciencetologist!
Making a fine stew out of the contents of Emma Watson’s chamber pot.
chairs making some awful creeks i wonder if it's going to snap
Lose some weight tubby.
errrrrrrr
chardonnay is the red one?
i don't know!
Just spent ten minutes getting advice from AI on how to check how much of a White supremacist the Latvian is
I'm either getting a new tradwife or getting fired today, lads
onamadone is he yeah doubt it
come on little doggies yip yip yeehaw
people who settled in california must have genuinely thought they were the descendants of adam and eve returning to the garden. no wonder they all went insane over gold and money and destroyed the world over it. that too must have been like biting from the tree of knowledge. i guess that's why they called it apple
that brief moments respite after you wake up but before you need to get ready when you can just sit in your dressing down with a brew
one day i will go to birmingham
Nan knows the score
I have arrived at toil, will I be doing any work? Only time will tell
I imagine Emma Watson’s farts smelling, for lack of a better word, pooey, though not smelling of actual poo. That probably doesn’t make any sense but I imagine it smells like a pure product of digestion that’s been inside her body for a while.
SOVL map of the UK
Why go anywhere when you can see it on google maps
It's 7:30, lad
I'm not even shoared
Bollocks naked, of course, while posting on /brit/
SOLOMON'S SEAL.
The Sultan asked Solomon for a Signet motto, that
should hold good for Adversity or Prosperity. Solomon
gave him,
"THIS ALSO SHALL PASS AWAY."
shoared
vancouver has the mildest winters in the country so it sucks up every homeless person who is able to travel
the rampant chinese real estate ownership doesn't help either
someone explained the trees in the forest surrounding these cities suck up all the sweat and urine and warm air from the sea so theres a disgusting muggyness in the air everywhere you go
that's BS, the actual reason is that it's a rainforest climate because of the rocky mountains
das rite
completed it mate?
barely fucking started
shrimple as that
come on LG XX
fizzy raspberry lemon lavender peach orange limeade
IM TRYING
can you say gay porn in a scouse accent please
You needed it x
voca.ro
This one's for the scousers in the thread! I'm from Liverpool! Diggy's diner oi oi!
Ubi sunt qui ante nos fuerunt?
do this quite a lot but usually wake up around 1 am i my clothes and get changed into pjs then go back to bed
shower poo coffee then toil
did your parents come into your room before school and yank the covers from you? i hated that
Hit and run..
Yh mum caught me wanking once
most sane poster here
Lowest Spanio slut. Complete. Inhuman..
Might get a coffee to suck on
hot what happened
its as shrimple as that
Goodo
Got to serve God's servants!
youtube.com
No.
that's imprawnsible
I was wanking before school she came in screamed at me and took my phone off me for atleast 2 weeks
all be for lap
or
parallel fob
or
fall or play
or
flap orally
what
Let's focus on the probability of it. More comfortable. Please do not do it. Idk. Really?
Idiot haha haha haha
yeah but did she see your dick also what did she say
If the Vinted guy doesn’t ship my item today I’m gonna go fucking mental
I'm autistic
I would just continue to lie there with my eyes closed and not move
peaceful protest
In return? So I see. So I see. So I seeee.
No, not you.
Where is the horse gone? Where the rider? Where the giver of treasure?
Where are the seats at the feast? Where are the revels in the hall?
[...] How that time has passed away,
grown dark under cover of night, as if it had never been.
Think I might take my own life, might try and get my hands on some fentanyl
No it was under the covers. Just hitting me and calling me disgusting and names like that
No, not you..
maybe not hot then what a bitch
Do the best you can. I love you and I think you should try and go out today and have the best time you possibly can. It's what I would do.
No.
I fear it's too late for me
What in 2025 makes European:) think this way???
really feels like there's no place in this world for a sensitive soul like me
There's nothing that a good laugh and a beer can fix :)
whats troubling you pal
European:)?
Don't be a ...
youtube.com
berger on the wall
Euro:)?
It's been years since I had a life outside my room friends, a job you name it. At some point I just couldn't take it anymore. I don't think I could even go out and talk to people anymore.
all brixton crew all camberwell crew hold tight
European;)
Have a beer, have a smoke, the world is your lobster my son!
youtube.com
Expected envy?
based tryer
@.
What has become of my friends
That I had held so close
And loved so much?
Where are the tears of yesterday evening?
Where is the snow of yesteryear?
But windy today
1
really sick of toil
What does it mean if I used to be obsessed with fire when i was a kid? I would steal a box of matches and sit outside and strike the entire box one by one or burn paper. Does that make me autistic?
jesus was a antisemite
sick of life
antihistamineberg down the gullet
hayfeverstein doing me in
European! :)??
just normal. I used to make little napalm bombs with hand sanitizer
Hello
something extra cosy about summer rain
Ah the old being alone in your smelly bedroom has driven you to suicide. A job will temporarily help as you will be forced to speak to people and may even be invited to drinks. I got my first gf and friends from a part time job then became a drug addict and lost them all.
Haha.
8am
phone already blowing up
with what you might ask
are you going to work today? Pls let me know cause I can be in if you're in
ONE FUCKING WEEK SHE HASN'T SEEN ME IN PERSON AND THE STALKING BEGINS AGAIN
imagine being allergic to nature. a just society would remove your defective dna from the gene pool
No, Jesus was an anti-Pharisee.
Ok cool then. My dad used to act like I was a psycho for it
Hello :)?? Really no no no XD XD XD XD Nooooo. Noooo. Sorry.
The marigolds in summer,
the petrichor,
of bygone days
and bygone eras.
The marigold
how to get help in windows 11
Is she fit
1.
dont car
Is your dad a battyboy?
its those woke 5g flowers they made in the covid lab
never used to have hayfever like this
Good eyes.
so you're offing yourself over something entirely self-inflicted. surely you knew this was going to happen all those years ago
youre fucking joking me the recycling men are here and im not even out of bed to put the bin out it was windy last night so i didnt put it out fml going to have to put all the empty vodka bottles in the bin
rorke… ? rorke???
your gluten tolerant farmer genes are defective actually
hes an hunter gathererer
10. :). Haha?
setting my bollock hairs on fire with a match and wailing and shrieking and diving into a nearby river before climbing out and repeating the process ad infinitum
In prison now so maybe lol
God should make more animals like htis
you're a fat 50 year old incel
Aryan. Please go home. XD? Sorry. The upmost tragedy iftar.
lel what did he do?
dad knocked me out for smoking fags when i was 11
taught me a lesson
now im on 40 a day and have been for years
Time, like an ever-rolling stream,
Bears all its sons away;
They fly forgotten, as a dream
Dies at the opening day.
no im only 32
That's rorke
wonder if i should go to the NA meeting tonight if it's been 3 days since my last hit and i'm visibly withdrawing
Gbh
Early 30s, 5'5, loves the gym, massive chebs
Wait, sorry
massive chebs, not fat massive chebs and massive chebs
I fucking care, lad
any cuties there
gay batty hole?
first time I smoked a fag: 13
First time I smoked weed: 14
First time I did coke: 17
First time I did heroin: TBD
is it like breaking bad where you have blokes like jessie covertly trying to sell drugs
Do it bruce leave the muck behind
Do any other drugs?
no, i'm probably the only person there under 45, all the women are fat except for one lady who is a former methhead so you'd expect her to be skinny
nah get high instead
youtube.com
alri jarvis cocker?
i will miss your posts where you're getting angry at the postman for not delivering your drugs on time
was recently wondering how stormzy would survive in a racewar
i wish!
don't remember posting anything like that frequently
first time you fucked a woman: never
business idea: bring back calling people a "lummox"
No that’s it mate
fuck sake if we have more than one opioid australian posting here that would be quite funny
freaks in orbit
something on the 'log
what about a spacewar
Clarkson Farm is so fucking staged
"Ahh nooo the council is unreasonable"
Literally just doing their job
got to boot up the bad 'puter in 10 minutes
Planning to take some mushrooms for the first time soon, mate says its peng, love peer pressure me
his humour is so boomer coded it's pathetic . man is stuck in like the prime top gear years and can't come back. the libertarian stuff is boring and he sounds pathetic still making greta thunberg jokes now that she's accept climate collapse is unavoidable and is just fighting genocide now
Cigarettes and alcohol for me. Nutty as Grant was from time to time, he was always a sweet guy.