playin' poke' edish
/brit/
have we tried changing /brit/ to like /br it/ so the egyptian bot breaks
tha-uh, well, okay... that was uh... greatest night in the history of television
oh my days
that money belongs to the white man bruv
telegraph.co.uk
Proper weird this story
based luh girl
It is
we're being sold a story
*nervous laughter*
Sir Weird Father
just joining a hiking group bro
well excuse him for having a conscious and wanting to make the world a better place
hs?
? Med.
doooood weed lamo
why not, you could fit in there, and get fit while doing it
did you lads have a helper classroom assistant assigned to you in school?
why don't they just ban it
so much other crap gets banned
it's blatantly a bot
big chungus
they look like utter freak bastards
don't enjoy socialising without alcohol
cant drink alcohol without eventually getting too drunk
fall out with people due to drinking ridiculous amounts and getting very sloppy
how do people do it?
Yes, to learn English
Stop it.
into the filter you go
no, I was retarded on my own
no not a spacker
did you?
Ah yes, filtering UK flags would work well around here
yep
those are gone now
no budget for that shit
bore off deegs
don't enjoy socialising without alcohol
cant drink alcohol without eventually getting too drunk
receive text from one mate today saying "you seemed really cool to begin with but then you got too drunk and kept overstepping boundaries and so i dont want to see you again"
fucking hell lads whats wrong with me
hence
Hands of God.
ah yes, you’re a fucking mong
very white
middle class ignorance
youre the problem
was going to make this post but couldnt be bothered so well done
what an utter waste
yup that was one of my posts aswell lol
no they dont
smoke weed unironically
its more sustainable for a whole night and you wont be so insufferable
hence what? got something you want to say cunt?
Since when?
i bet you start groping girls like a jeet when you're drunk. fucking pathetic
yeah hang on dickhead let me just swing by the weed dispensary on my british high street
proving my point mate
Coins.
Might clean my diet, stop drinking, start going to the gym, get a haircut, start reading books and join the army
go on bradley my son
maybe next time youre drunk at a party you can ask for a plug
or just use tor
deftly scooping a banana out of it's peel without tearing it apart so I can wank into it later
found a microphone in my sisters bedroom
wonder what shes up to
I’m not your fucking mate. Die.
you reckon all women are retarded?
in bed sleeping as I have to be up at 01:30am to prepare for my 4am toil shift
I grope when I'm drunk but I'm tall and handsome to they like it
He means that dolar value in deadly medicines and contraception
?
tor
no video of the colorado attack
really makes you think
youre obviously not tall and handsome because if you were (like me) then you'd know they push themselves into your touch and also grope you
Last warning.
handsome me but not tall
start reading books and join the army
define grope
I'm off to have a nice soupy wank in the shower. See you
*gropes you*
you know who I like?
I like that Charlie character on Clarkson's farm
a very sensible man
this concludes the list of people I like
Why?
and no one even killed
put your hands on the chests, stomachs, bum and legs of girls without invitation verbal or otherwise
Too gruesome for public consumption
see? that's what life is like as a real tall and handsome man.
chest
bum
no
stomach/hip
legs
yes, although obviously i assume it is consenting when post hoc i have been told it is not
Spite.
lush day for a pint
A man with a makeshift flamethrower yelled “Free Palestine” and hurled an incendiary device into a group that had assembled to raise attention for Israeli hostages in Gaza
every time
my gf
/brit/ not /jf/
she better not be cis
Casual reminder to train your arse. Women love big juicy glutes on men. It’s consistently rated as one of the most attractive muscles for men to have. Big glutes and a strong core also mean you are brilliant at shagging.
actually incomprehensible the amount of selfies women take and upload to the internet. billions, no TRILLIONS of images. just their face, them eating something, them showing off a monument behind them, them showing off their tits, them showing off their teeth, them showing off their eyes, them showing off their hair, them showing off their minge, them showing off their arse, them showing off their necklace, them showing off their shirt, them showing off their dress, them showing off their shoes. QUINTILLIONS of images.
Men? Probably a few hundred selfies across the entire gender.
I saw it.
leftypol turning a blind eye to this one
oppa incel style
what a REMARKABLE coincidence
women’s evolutionary strategy is to beautify themselves and exhibit it to potential mates as well as to status signal to other females
grim you haven’t intuitively worked this out
Something.
really odd way for you to justify nonce porn on the internet mate.
pmsl
What's wrong with me?
Right, that's it, joining a hiking group. No more lonely days in my incel bedroom. Fresh air. Socialising. Sun. Adventure. Time to get a move on.
the invention of the camera was the worst thing to ever happen to women
worse than the mirror even
so THIS is leftypol
???
bjzzare
bill gates gives blacks 200 billion dollars
they use it to buy trainers and gaudy jewellery
what a waste
screeching
i agree, it's very bizarre of you to start explaining why noncery is okay and yet you did it
Jewish.
no i didn’t
cope on freak
Duck for nothing.
this is supposed to be the Egyptian? christ they couldnt even bother to get some arab Israeli to play the part kek
Piece of piss really this wordle lark
yes you did.
if it walks like an egyptian...
200 billion is fuck all these days with inflation
Go for the fifth.
*rapes your arse*
Soberlad with the update, lads
toil tomorrow
Latvian megachebs is there tomorrow
The other Sadhbh that's like barely 35kilo is there too. Like she's so small you could smash her head once off the wall and proceed to nonce her
Also the 20 year old that's obsessed with since i've shaved is there too.
So er, lads, I'll be sleeping soon
Aegyptians are white
Painful.
Didn't ask
any of you lads got those asian bamboo blankets for summer sleeping? do they keep you cool?
wary of being scammed by a chink again you see
The actual truth.
Too Anglo to fight.
Anyone fancy playing OutRun?
*subscribes*
Baths finally full, going to slit my wrists and fade away listening to my favorite song :)
European.
i sleep on a yoga mat with no blankets
Sounds woke to me
a clue gained
All around me are familiar faces
Worn out places, worn out faces
Bright and early for the daily races
Going nowhere, going nowhere
darude - sandstorm?
European..
You lads got your own theme song?
This is mine
youtu.be
must have been mental for finnish people to be able to have a wank over their prime minister
oingo boingo - little girls?
£199 million euromillions ticket bought.
Wondering what I'm going to do after I win. Might buy a new chair, one of those ones with the fold out leg rests. And one of those kettles that dispenses hot water immediately.
Stick the rest in the bank I suppose.
European...
she's definitely been blacked raw in her igloo
money is useless in a bank
yes but that thing will pinch your leg hair (if your leg is very hairy like a white man)
give it all to africa
European....
Locked my keys and wallet inside the car
How much is this for God???
might as well burn it
it would achieve the same thing as giving it to that subhuman continent
Straight into the pockets of those who dont need it corruption is completely normalised there
Don't think they drink hot drinks in Africa. Could buy them an ice maker I suppose
would shag all sorts of pornstar escorts until my knob fell off if i won that
no footy today
no footy for 3 fucking months
jesus CHRIST
WHAT DO WE DO
want to make the world a better place? wipe out africans
System for Spanio hoof.
I'm gonna buy the one thing I've been dreaming of all the years I spent in the gutter: a solid gold house.
Wouldnt they be about 100
shave my legs in summer desu
neoliberal bull logging in
Ok :D
Absolutely caked in make up
bushwick based enablers are active
My dick doesn't suit my face.
When I see a fella in shorts without leg hair I automatically assume he takes it up the bum
shaving legs
sounds bender
Bench pressed 115 kg for 5 sets of 2 today lads
こいつはホモですね
Maybe.
Love Island
The ITV2 dating show returns on June 9
And one of those kettles that dispenses hot water immediately.
Witchcraft
you must be a big boy then
That's quite a lot that. Can only do about 60kg me
oh
Was confident.
Cant unlock your car with your teferlone?
LOL timmy's crush
New search in Portugal in Madeleine McCann case
24
what the fuck are zoomers drinking
Hair.
Hot filtered water at the touch of a button. This is what millionaires have been hiding from us
The scran
um?
clapmeat for skinny small boat cronem
That’s a naked lady.
34 at least
literally drinking that just now lel x
and the very latest from the experts?
Hard.
absolutely despise me own self.
Not as comfy as a kettle tho. Temperature control is pretty cool though
janman being very quick today
we do the same for aoc but she's never released something this slutty
gives igloo brothers a new meaning
That's just how zoomers look now sad story
Americans buy singular slices of pizza for $5 and say shit like "yo Cody I just got a wicked deal on some hot 'za dude"
Might as well yeat.
so it just keeps the hot plastic wadder warm at all times?
what a gyp
this
Plenty of them
only on 72.5kg me
Mazyar Azarbonyad was giving Courtney Redfern a lift back in Gateshead, Tyne and Wear, in his BMW X5 series when officers attempted to pull him over due to a faulty rear light. But instead of stopping, the 20-year-old, of Sylvia Terrace, Stanley, Durham, who had no licence or insurance and had only ever taken three driving lessons, panicked and drove off.
Officers spotted him about half an hour later in the early hours of Wednesday, April 9, Newcastle Crown Court heard, but after failing to stop for a second time, a high-speed chase was sparked. The pursuit reached the A1 on the outskirts of Newcastle when the defendant suddenly hit the brakes at 119mph and caused the multi-vehicle pile up.
praise jah
keep them coming x
vax
1000 African Dicks by 24
Bit weak me
leftypol turning a blind eye to this
Booyakasha! Wagwan bluds it's your main man catyank
Here.
Putting a wig on and coming on a boat to claim asylum as a tranny oppressed by trvmpenreich
Mazyar Azarbonyad
Is that a common name in county durham?
Vaporised, have they?
1 clock.
alri
arabs have single handedly sullied the BMW image
and of course they're subhumans
Yes cos I was a spacker, did you?
coke is cheaper than bottled water in yankland
how?
no
any pure satire man in?
What?
Here comes the big man. Watch out fellas.
14 months
Ah yes all fine
A young mum whose first date turned into a nightmare after her suitor led police on a high-speed chase that ended in a terrifying multi-car smash on the A1 has been pictured.
Courtney Redfern, 27 from Newcastle, had just enjoyed a night out with fitness coach Mayzar Azarbonyad, 20, on April 9 when he offered to drive her home. But what started as a romantic evening quickly spiralled into chaos.
was
reckon you still are 2bh
I wonder when white people will become a minority in the UK and we'll have a WAME classification made by the government
Eyes.
No when I finished school I chose to become an esteemed learned fellow of respectable means
did this story really warrant a second redundant post about it?
she was probably playing with his big brown gearstick causing him to crash
Yeah it did
Got put in special needs in year 2 because I held my pen wrong and didn't talk during class.
Got released after a week after they realised I was actually an autistic savant (autism didn't exist back then so they just said I was shy and gave me extra maths homework).
It’s a Sven GORAN Ericsson thing……you wouldn’t get it!
Getting mogged by the weather today, sunberg has me on the ropes and is ready to deliver the final blow (to my bollocks)
It works.
the brown hordes
The court heard that the defendant arrived in the UK after fleeing his home country of Iran when he was 14 and settled in Stanley, County Durham
Hes iranian ya big racialist. Wonder how he managed to afford an X5. Probably not worth looking into
You put two and two together and gained a clue
Feeling perturbed
air conditioning is on and flatberg is currently a nice cool 18C
i might even be too cold
Azarbonyad initially pulled over for police but when an officer approached his car on foot he said “nah” and made off at speed, according to his passenger.
Where are we?
air conditioning
alri tarq
hate these sorts of headlines that just go on and on
get to the bloody point will ya?
got banned from Anon Babble again
wonder if you could make a decent bot that scans your screen while playing online poker and tells you the best course of action.
I know people who dont know how to play will fuck you up with illogical moves, but it might prove to be a decent edge
couples dont actually keep using condoms after a few months together do they???
Mayzar Azarbonyad
Not sure what she expected
never had a gf me so dont know
pesto pasta with spinach and some peanuts
what's kanyhe west's favourite book?
not telling
never had a girlfriend so can't answer, sorry
Did you tell them spending their lives learning one of the worlds most difficult languages to watch cartoons was stupid again?
dailymail.co.uk
grim article this
some fat slag gets on mounjaro to lose weight
gets greedy and tries to double the dose and ends up with side effects
goes back to normal dose and side effects remain
loses the weight and has to get off the shots
her cravings come back worse than ever
Article ends with: I'm not full. I'll never be full. This is hell.
The mental gymnastics are exhausting. The food noise is deafening. My appetite will never be satisfied.
yhe binble
I use condoms with my gf occasionally since we don’t do hormonal birth control. It’s really bad for women. We also do cycle tracking so I can spaff in her raw a few times a month.
first gfstein couldn't go on the pill so we used them for a couple of years
was mad feeling a bare fanny after we broke up after years of shagging with a johnny on
you know no one ever clicks on these daily mail articles you post right
am virg so no idea if id be expected to even wear a condom
government should do something
Got the neutral milk hotel on
no don't be retarded
right it's back to the drawign borf
how can you prove your virginity?
why can’t you just pullout ?
i browse /brit/
will soon find out if tesco have banned me for my weekend shenanigans
grim article this
seems crystal palace will be booted out of the europa league
rules against multiclub ownership
their owner already has 3 clubs qualified in it
uefa only allows one
Article ends with: A UEFA spokesperson said: ‘Please be informed that decisions regarding multi-club ownership cases for the 2025/26 season will be announced in due course during June. We do not comment on individual club cases until an official decision has been made.'
this is a shaggers general howeverthoughbeit
Right, lads
Off ta bed
there was an ENFP in the vibe room today
HA! Maybe 6 years ago
it's only 3.30 in ireland
rorke gives off such sagittarius energy
intp+t me
no idea what it means
Most women would rather be with a lobotomized normiecattle 4/10 than a problematic chad
Fine when man city do it
incels here think they're too good for /brit/feel for some reason
F to both of these lads
OVERRATED
Lucy Pinder
UNDERRATED
Nikkala Stott
corona has defeated us
Love Island full cast revealed! ITV2 sign two footballers, fire-breather and Zara McDermott's influencer pal with new series just days away
LOVE ISLAND IS BACK
LOVE ISLAND IS BACK
THIS BITCH IS IRISH? IRISH ARE PAKIS NOW AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
got my incel glasses on
This is mine, thanks. Don't be a thief :)
is this the daily mail blog thread?
Brother.
daily mail have resorted to spamming this thread for clicks on their articles
sad
I wish I liked English people?
The Pajeeta stank
The poo knickers stank
Smelled like menstruation and poo
A very hairy fanny
Baby.
My bike was good?
bad news gang, the banana wank did no work out
waiting for the new x
Why’d you wank a banana?
watching con air . never actually seen it. think i thought i did but was actually confusing it with the fugitive
Thomas Wignall, a 23-year-old bus user from Mill Hill, said: “Before the pandemic, I used to get the bus pretty much every day.
“When lockdown hit, my work was moved totally online and I almost never left my house, so I never really got the bus, apart from the odd trip.
“In 2022, I heard someone threaten to stab someone else on the bus and that experience made me more wary.
“With that, the constant delays and the fact that I now only have to travel into work a couple days a week, I don’t have a reason to use the bus as much anymore”
I wanked using the peel or at least tried to
its kino
mai tais and yahtzee
Why?
I suppose that’s not as bad as stuffing the banana up your bottom.
NEW
bravo lads
He's bigger.
what's that yellow rice called? you know the yellow indian rice?
actually never actually seen the fugitive either . i just watched us marshals and left it at that. literally the worst alternative i could have chose. story of my life
pilau
Yeah. Friend.
Gay. But I get it.