/brit/

monkey lamps

office chair smells of poo

first good post itt

very cool lamps, I will research further as I love monkey themed objects

All black today I look like a skinny effeminate bouncer

The clue gainer marches onward

black is slimming lad bet the toilfu will love it

bloke at work is going for promo i can tell because hes being nice to me and always chatting

Maybe he's just a normal friendly person

It's good to have Belgians on the planet.

When the brown bovine biomass says something so subhuman you just gotta hit em with the rorke stare

Redpill me on the Belgian

Didnt know you guys had SOVL like that

it's mikey's folks

Zzzz

Mayflower WASP peasants do be acting like they're british aristocrat while their cousins in the uk look like this

night gyps

night.

Would marry and impregnate

I don't have anything against people trying to get ahead, I just cannot personally engage in that behaviour.

It's not that I don't understand it, it's that any sort of slimy falsehood, arse-sucking persona is totally transparent to me and I can't stand the thought that someone else would think I was acting that way. Even if the end result is moving up, getting paid more, jumping ship to another company (where no one knows you) and repeating that process over and over and over until you earn a very respectable wage, are comfortable in life and have a house and a family.

I understand the consquences of not playing the game but I can't do it.

"You want to put it in my what? Gee anon, I don't know, I poo from there."

always get anxious before toil >.<

Planes and trains Wednesday is here de lids

So this is rorke

Zoomers be like "slim jeans are so uncool"

I always get moody cos I don't like toil

mallardlad

hmmm do i go to the job fair today or not

always a subtle malicious vibe to the circus

mad how much of a lottery win it was to be poor and bullied in britain that you had no choice but to stow away on a boat to america where you would grab any amount of land you want make your family billionaires

Some pleasant yellow hues in the field
Flowers of some description no doubt

Just witnessed a racist post outside of Anon Babble

went to a career fair at the behest of the job centre UC coach once. It was absolutely rammed. I did a loop but every stall already had people at it and none of the employers flagged me down so I just left, stood outside in the hall on my phone for a bit contemplating going back in then decided to go home.

the jobs were all shite as well. The RAF were the main stall and then the others were min-wage shite like working for a hotel group and all that guff. It was fun looking at the people filing in and out though, there were a fair few obvious aspies like myself who had been forced to go, dishevelled and nervous and alone

buttercups perhaps

the age of consent should be __

last two i went to were a complete waste of time
the first one had no employers, just people who wanted to charge me for training with no job at the end of it
the second one had one employer who i spoke to and they didn't call me back

you dont deserve that get a job that makes you happy

a complete waste of time

genuinely. You still have to apply to any jobs online anyway, and any job at a job fair is going to be listed online.

Far as I'm concerned the whole thing is a box-ticking exercise for UC coaches to say that they did something for you.

YESSSS YESS HAHAHAHHAHAHAH FUCKING YANKS HAHAHAHAAHAHHAHAHAHA
*squats down and rubs my ballsack and fupa on the ground*
HISSSSSSSSS YANKY YANKY DADDY NEEDS HIS STANKY WANKY HEEEEEEEEEHEHHEHEHEHOGOOHOHOOGOHHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAA YESSSSSS

it's a very nice photograph

the humiliation ritual to stay on benefits isnt worth it

I feel like this post is directed towards me

They should just let the dossers doss until they are ready to dedoss desu

HOWLING with laughter at this mongolian retard.

*grips your bum* oh...?

everything just as it's meant to be

They pretty much do.

they need to differentiate between scum who won’t work and sensitive young men who can’t work
also normal people who hit bad circumstances get treated like every other crackhead. its not ideal

If a ponce is a gay
and a nonce is a pedophile
what is a yonce?

My middle name (and my fathers name) is Yancey
We are a yonce (yance)

i like when girls wear socks and the socks are a lil dirty

Isn’t the point of the claims process to differentiate between them?

I thought a ponce was either a pimp or a fancy, well-to-do person.

salah is a uniquely ugly man

dont know hehe

Better looking than you and also far richer.

Hehe ok

ROBOTS AND SATELLITES MAN FUCKIN ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE MAN ITS THE FUCKIN TECHNOLOGY MAN I TOLD YOU THAT SHIT. I HAD A TEFLON YARMULKE IMPLANTED IN THE EIGHTIES TO PREVENT THAT.

There's 2 streams: one where you have to be actively seeking work and one where you're not expected to (i.e you've got a fit note from the GP to say you're a mental case for the next N weeks/months).

If you've got the green light from the doctors that you're set to be a mental case forever (very hard to get) then you'll be on PIP and the job centre dance will be put behind you.

Was feeling burdened by having so many of my possessions so I put several of them in storage

Where is the Egyptian spammer? I summon thee

teflon yarmulke implant as analogous to a tinfoil hat

OK that's quite funny

chubby woman in thigh highs and a skirt and NO UNDERWEAR

i know you'd suck him off and that but deep down you know that he's a minger

I'm 36 on Saturday.

Fuck pissrael

which one lads

I don't like the way you are looking at me
0.0
~

right and it ain't close

Left

scum who won’t work

i.e. working class unemployed

sensitive young men who can’t work

i.e. middle class unemployed

left
I look like the guy on the right, it's from not sleeping

he fell for the buzzpill meme

that's rank. time to slunk away and die in a corner

Love their legs

want to look for a new job but I'm vastly overpaid so pretty much everything out there would be a major paycut

HOMOSEXUALITY? TRANNIES? CROSS DRESSERS? INTERRACIAL? FAT CHICKS? FEMDOM? MOMMY? PEGGING? ANAL? SCAT? SISSY HYPNO? GAY CHILD PORN?
SIGN ME THE FUCK UP.

Shut the fuck up you retarded homosexual nymphomaniac hermaphrodite kike faggot.

FAT CHICKS? FEMDOM? MOMMY?

this

toilstein is on holiday so I'm wfh pretty much all week lads haha

Shoot them both.

any heroin heads in?

Pseudo-Emmett on a mad one about pornography.

one is going this way and the other is going the other way

chea buddy

illegal

as if nobody picked the big titted one

Im a 10 in bongland

poo is brewing

toil...

got the songs from the big chair on

look I will concede they were indeed very large but I prefer a thin woman with normal breasts

turns out….

quiet quitting me

corr how do you do your smack? i'm a snorter but i want to try IV but i'm afraid i'll fuck it up and kill myself

little monkey fella...

sorry im just joking, i'd never do hard drugs. Please get help, reach out to me if you ever need an ear that listens and understands. Kia kaha

anyone ever been to an AA or NA meeting? i have no intention of giving up drugs or drinking but it's just nice to be in a room with people who understand you

God has graced us with another beautiful day. it's up to us to make the most of it

Emma Watson is holding a pair of vice grips? CRUNCH goes my nutsack.

genuinely wouldn't be able to function in daily life without smack, it hasn't disrupted my life in any way as of yet and the pros outweigh the cons, i use in moderation and i'm happier and more sociable and more productive at toil as a result

went to an aa meeting one time. drank after it

Imagine throwing your entire life away just for 15 minutes of internet fame. What an idiot.

They broke into Brucie's chudcel den

did you speak at all?
when i went to NA last night everyone said they'd been clean for years, i was the only one who admitted i was still using

Your Nan gave me top.

yeah i spoke, said that i was sick of being sick. this was about 3 years ago and i still drink every night

What law did he break

:O)

just stop drinking kek
not really 15 minutes if we're still going on about it ay

just heal your trauma and learn to face life my g. It's a road that leads to hell, you don't want to have to experience withdrawal, its one of he worst things that humans can experience

Off to toil
Don't have too much fun without me!!

mean words on the internet

not like his life was going anywhere anyway

i have experienced the withdrawal, it's not pleasant but nowhere near as bad as people say it is, at least for me

you the poppy tea kiwi?

it ain't no joke I'd like to buy the world a coke and teach the world to sing in perfect harmony

Full flavoured, full strength beer; the gentle fruitiness of the aroma compliments the sweet maltiness in the mouth which in turn balances perfectly with the clean hop bitterness of the finish.

sorry guys, forgot what we were posting about, just wanted you to think about how thirst quenching a nice stubby would taste right about now. go ahead and carry on

the longer you're addicted the worse it gets
trust

mate i've experienced delirium tremens, i ain't scared of shit

this is a love attack I know it went out but it's back

a fakkin VB longneck

don’t like beer

for me it's taking drugs everyday because of the pain you see
my body hurts

good lad, drugs are nice

Mental how in 25 years BTC is going to be worth £1m and simply buying £100 a month of the stuff from this very point onwards would be a good decision

not really 15 minutes if we're still going on about it ay

Most people won't know who he is, only very online people like us remember who he is.

Why would it be worth that much? What's it useful for? It's not even that useful for illegal activities because it's not completely anonymous. I think Monero is more anonymous right?

wow. goalpost moved from

the internet only cared about him for 15 minutes

to

m-most people don't know who he is. only online people know who the christchurch shooter was

a bit embarassing

its going to be worth 0 after the event occurs

Sitting

alri Dr House

watching fargo (1996)
wonder why they included that subplot about that chinky bloke who made a pass at the police lady, didn't really go anywhere

A reminder for Rorke, since he still seems to need it:

trans women are women

trans men are men

trans children exist

trans rights are human rights

Happy Pride :)

anyone have a weird fetish
i have an incest fetish personally
got another fetish but its hard to explain

Don't know

i've just about had it up to here with your nonsense posting you sun cooked golliwog

It's baffling that you think "15 minutes of fame" is a literal expression

oh yah?

Both of those things are literally true lol, sorry that normal people don’t remember all your chud heroes mate

was at TAFE when that shooting thing happened and someone showed me a vid of it on their phone, looked very surreal like a video game

I am naked in your bathroom.

was at the op shop with mumstein myself x

Funny accent Asian man
The actual plot is that appearances aren’t what they seem, as the Asian guy lied about his being a widower, and the detective lady realized that the car dealership guy was involved

My dick goes up.

as an alcoholic toiler this is unreal to me i cannot imagine any of my coworkers going home and whipping out the old heroin every night

What's funnier is that while this is true, BTC is an objectively shit coin. As a proof of concept? Great; a cryptographically secure digital currency that deflates over time with no central ownership.

But as an actual currency to buy things with it's awful. Massive fees and then your transaction can take ages to go through if the network is busy. No scaling. A public ledger? Insane. These reasons and others are why people came up with stuff like Ethereum, LiteCoin, Monero etc, pretty much all of which are better coins than BTC.

Despite this, all offshoot coins have their value tethered to BTC. Not in any practical, empirical sense but if BTC dumps then all shitcoins dump too, despite being better technologies. The best result for everyone would be if there could be some collective agreement to let BTC die and adopt a more modern coin. But of course you'll never satisfy everyone so we have endless shitcoins and offshoots.

what did you get

Mike is a really good liar. He tells a story about marrying a woman they went to school with and her dying of cancer, but in a later scene someone else tells Marge that none of that happened. This realization makes her remember how bad of a liar Jerry was when she met him earlier in the movie.

germans

every night

for me it's more like throughout the day every 2-3 hours

youtube.com/watch?v=iD7dUNHXxNs

can't remember x
went to mcdonalds afterwards though

We solve it with hands.

:(

what the hell do you work as on heroin? a librarian? a scarecrow?

ever shagged your mum

I am wrong!!!

The correct interpretation would be that she recognises her own inability to tell when others are lying.

Doctor prescribed me beta blockers for the anxiety I’ve had for over 10 years and it has basically 95% solved it overnight, with no side effects.

Kind of mental how I avoided trying pills for years.

oh leave it out, my habit is completely under control and has been for 3 years because i'm responsible and not a degenerate, i'm not chasing a high, just a little pep in my step
landscaping

he stood in a field where barley grows

lazy horsebergs, at least stand while you eat you mugs

you are cooked bro

Megatron

what’s that thing on their head for
looks unsettling

doing a poo

Aussie XP

protects against flies and such, also keeps uv-rays at bay

btc will be worth well over 1 million by 2030

your mum's cooked
spit-roasted to be specific, by a couple of black blokes

I only poo two days a week, but on those 2 days I poo 10+ times

can they see

Yeah its mad. Got on the propranolol and became a sex-having, gf-having, job-having normie within 2 weeks.

como estas

Any BR class 700 man in?

Seriously? Nice

should i goon

semen

SSRIs reduced my social anxiety but im still filled with random dread and anxiety all day still wish i could be at peace

yeah, it’s essentially a net cover
sort of like a beekeepers helm with inbuilt sunglasses

More of a class 800 man myself

Looks like how it talk

might move to america and buy a gun and not even go shooting, just stare at it all day

Rorke dismissing SSRIs as a Jewish plot to help him live a "degenerate" happy fulfilling life

Beta-blockers only affect physical symptoms, specifically your heart rate and blood pressure.

Pills to actually cure anxiety have existed for many decades: benzodiazepines. You'll never be prescribed them though because they're an absolute life-ruiner class of drugs. Taking them every day you'd be flushing your life down the toilet essentially. Imagine not caring about anything, truly not caring. All your inhibitions gone. That's what they do.

I lost it

timmy made for the bbc

We can swap places

Eamonn Holmes falls off his chair live on GB News

kshk

a bystander attempts to resuscitate George Floyd (May 2020, colourised)

im not clicking that shit nigga

They suit me just fine though. I wouldn’t want to take any mind altering drugs, beta blockers are perfect for me

I was on benzos for alcohol withdrawals. Librium twice and diazepam once. They aren't that good.

Imagine how good that feels for both of them. Damn.

basket kid?

Lads a girl I'm shagging just seen my YouTube search history how cooked am I?

Woman fight pisses herself

Dr disrespect rage compilation

Napolean Bonaparte

Shane gillis discusses paintball

Movies with most nudity

Blood in the water

Embarrassed nude female movie scenes

Kanye Heil Hitler song

let me try something

That looks like Tamworth I think

M&S cyber-attack disruption to last until July and cost £300m

Takes the fucking PISS

Reform UK have fulfilled their pledge to scrap low traffic neighbourhoods in all of the 10 local authority areas they gained control of at the elections

BASED

What???

Are you 11 years old? That's when I went through my "searching for naked people on YouTube" phase.

dossing at toil lads haha what am I like xx

A big black willy up my arse sounds rather painful

Ok.

Kek

Aye my anxiety was causing physical nausea symptoms which made me more anxious about getting into anxious situations and basically stonewalled me from leaving the house. Fixed the physical symptoms and the rest all just melted away.

countless generations of propagating brown biomass liquidated

sucking a petrodollar

Sorry, but the traffic WILL flow and people WILL be on time to their various appointments and errands

Music is good.

Lads someone really screwed me over and scammed me and I have their work address (self employed) their name and their sort code and account number.

What can I do to fuck them over

Yeah because those areas didn't have any LTNs to begin with, you dunce

Send them a substantial amount of money each month until their lifestyle inflates and they become dependent upon you

Be a good Christian and forgive them

They're not intended to feel good. If you want to "feel good" then MDMA or heroin.

But objectively speaking, benzos cure anxiety. It's a solved problem. The issue is that you can't live that way, taking them every day. It's akin to being drunk all the time, every day. People can do that, and do, but it's the path to ruin.

Before surgery the doctors will give you a pill for anxiety. The pill is a benzo, not a beta-blocker.

dunno but make it very evil and sinister

Seething ecomong

get every fucking park and open space in this country bulldozed and replaced with car parks, motorways and turkish barbershops

Seethe on with your little pushbike, virgin LOL
Cope the fuck on leftypol, they’ll be gone everywhere soon

LTNs can be good but 90% of them are either driven by NIMBY boomers deciding they would like to live on a de-facto private road or by literal communist agitators who just want to make life harder and more miserable for productive people who dare to drive a car around. On roads where there are significant pedestrian attractions, shops, bars, restaurants etc with outdoor cafe style seating it makes sense for some sort of traffic regulation. But just arbitrarily closing off routes that are literal roads with houses on and magically deciding that people can no longer drive on these roads for whatever reason, it's total bollocks.

think i've almost matured out of this place, or maybe it's just the schizos and the constant onslaught of cuck bullshit, it just feels so fucking old hat now

I'm not a lefty just because I'm pointing out the facts you fucking mongs

Decided I don't really give a fuck about nature or the countryside so long as we have a few nice parks/districts
Apart from that let the farmers poison the rivers

About 150 miles out lad

one million squids?

The thing that helps me is knowing that I'm not one of "these" runts and ghouls on here.

I shag

constant onslaught of cuck bullshit just feels so fucking old hat now

???
stop posting it then???

But anon
The water vole

They're hideous, who would buy these?

Cuck mentioned
youtube.com/watch?v=YRRvCN6CiBY

Yeah? See you tomorrow mate, and every day after that x

Absolutely zero reason farmers should have the power they do.

The reason we pay much more for food is because of them having the government (taxpayer) support them financially.

Privatise the entire farming industry under Tesco or something

I'm 32, you never mature out of this place. Also there are less schizos at the moment which is good.

little monkey fella

youtube.com/watch?v=pTyqVaAm2AA

Put it in Russia.

didn't say i was leaving did i? a mealy mouthed response
but in any case my /brit/ use has been declining, it's a process rather than a deliberate cold turkey detachment

Im awake at 4am

Dadberg gave me his old land rover and I love driving it around knowing it is winding up leftymong freaks so badly LOL. I also speed and drive aggressively. Nobody bullies you when you’re in such a big car.

If we rejoin the EU then we can buy food from across Europe. More food competition = lower food prices for us.

The weak must fear the strong

just finishing off that sticky ginger loaf/cake/log/thing from m&s
so bloody peng with a black coffee I tell thee

Yeah? See you tomorrow mate, and every day after that, just as often as before x

Or we just privatise the farming industry under a massive capitalist titan like Tesco or Walmart like I just said dumb fuck?

We already buy loads of food from Europe thoughbeit
Does mummy not take you with her to Waitrose? You can see country of origin on the labels

been up near 48 hours me now im fedposting

you think you've got the world all figured out don't you? you're in for a rude awakening sunshine

Can't believe we have to buy oranges grown in Slough now
Thanks Brexit!

My post was literally in support of it mate learn to read

Former IDF general and Israeli opposition leader: “Israel kills babies as a hobby”. No comment needed.

Where you doing?

hungry as fuck, might hop in the car and go get a 'za (refuse to pay those outrageous paki delivery fees me)

I don't remember asking

Struggling to care

When lsraeI bombed the first hospital in Gaza, the world wouldn’t believe it and Israel blamed a misfired rocket from Hamas.

lsraeI has now destroyed all 36 hospitals in Gaza including its largest, the al-Shifa Hospital.

oh right the israelis are winning are they
what else is on

That's awful, but I don't see how that's relevant to me, or this general.

Mental how boomers could become millionaires by simply starting a company selling something as basic and simple to manage, purchase, store as ratchet straps, plastic sheets, rubber and hoses etc.
You could be a literal retard and all you had to do was establish a few suppliers, get a warehouse, sell something really as basic as that for 30/40 years of your life before selling it off to some big conglomerate.

Yeah?
*revs engine in your face and drives off laughing while you wheeze and mutter something about your asthma*

you can do that now from the comfort of your own home

Yeah okay mate, another day of wallowing in your own shite is it

Yeah? That easy was it?

Point is the supply chain is now so established and/or big companies dominate it, little one man army or small firms selling simple things like this to the same people over and over again slowly making millions are only of the boomer era and will soon be all gone, either out of business or owned by larger businesses.

Hep

mayor of my town made squajillions repainting houses in the wake of a cyclone back in the 80s or whenver it was

Rorke sat in his smeggy bedroom in the middle of a work day, incandescent with rage at his poor granddad for not setting up a rubber gasket factory and supply line and warehouse in the 60s when he was raising 4 kids on a bus driver’s salary and creating generational wealth so his grandchildren didn’t have to go to their Universal Credit appointments in 2025.

hr just emailed all the new joiners asking to sign a data use form for our email addresses-- and included everyone in cc
fuck sake you have ONE job

Monopolies lead to price rises you fucking moron

Such food would be cheaper without the red tape that exists between us and the EU, you fucking idiot

They weren't even "of the boomer era", only a tiny number of boomers did that and found success
Just like now there are a small number of zoomers exploiting niches and gaps in the market to make money

nice post

see a lot of similarities between the kind of suits that were fashionable in the 1940s and 1990s
both absolutely hideous

Monopolies

Which specific monopolies are you referring to?

Such food would be cheaper without the red tape that exists between us and the E

How much cheaper?

I wish I were English so fucking badly
I want to eat Greggs for breakfast every morning before heading off to my job at a cafe (which pays enough for me to afford rent) and then I go home and cuddle with my English rose wife.

Thats not even close to my life. Also why would you eat Greggs if you worked at a cafe? Greggs is shit.

putting together a briefing pack for the chief commercial officer's trip to china lads

eat breakfast in greggs

to then work in a cafe

?

Probably the same principle.

Greggs is shit

Leftypol mong

Got up early. Took a big shit. Washed and fed. I've been to the dentist. Now ive got the whole day free and its sunny and only half ten.

Odds: take drugs and stay home and wank and do chores

Evens: go for a drive to the coast. eat out for lunch. swim in the sea. have a nice walk.

doubles: shag a prostitute

You are Brit, Brit.

we just privatise the farming industry under a massive capitalist titan like Tesco or Walmart

That's a monopoly

How much cheaper?

Dunno. Ask an economist.