Dirk Gently (2010) edition
/brit/
I never did read that book
or maybe I read one of them I think?
I don't remember much about it
mid 20s. thinking of doing something radical like never coming back here and talking to women outside.
the government is oppressing me
I'm Tim Burton's muse.
A girl would never be interested in me. I'm too much of a mentally ill loser
why does the gender matter here? you're basically talking here arent you
dont bother replying to me again
how do i know which one is you?
me on my little incel walkypoos x
fantasised about being married with kids again
was on the train and had a thought earlier lads. there are far too many people here, so we're overpopulated right, and the majority of the people I see are brown, which is not the conventional 'British' identity. you lads ever think about that?
Nasi goreng and a tiger beer please boss
bought a great steak for tonight but just not in a steak mood now
Would anyone be interested in paying for my Uber eats I will pay you back double in btc or ltc right now
just broke into some lad's fantasy about being married with children and raped his wife
dw. ageing population will progress into declining population as they old cunts die
1 billion white Britons
Make it happen
I too am sad and lonely but most of all my tummy hurts and feels weird and I need someone to hug me
Anyone?
so then we lose the last majority white population before becoming majority brown?
*brushes fingers through your hair and kisses your temple*
poorly baby
birdhunter.pages.dev
post your hiscores
me in the fantasy crying like stephen graham with slowmo and closeups repeating 'how could a let this happen. me wife. raped'
*starts fucking your mum*
VIRUS
12-0
what went wrong with uk's jury class?
thank you
may I press my forehead against your chest please?
I want Emma Watson to poop in my mouth.
you sick fuck
no fuck off I'm not weird
A female prison officer who tried to start a family with a rapist inmate she fell in love with has admitted she knew he was a rapist - but believed he would provide her a 'stable life'. Cherri-Ann Austin-Saddington, 29, told MailOnline of her 'relief' that she was this week spared jail after admitting a six-month illicit affair with sex attacker Bradley Trengrove while working as a warden at HMP The Verne in Portland , Dorset.
dw benes will stop because it's a ponzi scheme that requires more new members
female prison officers in a male prison is just asking for trouble
is no one thinking this through
I'll bet Ruby would send some NASTY pictures of herself! Imagine her spreading her pussy lips with her arse on show. CORRR!
Nearly 30 Dead After Tornadoes Rip Across Midwest
We're being ethnically replaced in our homeland because leftypol wants avocado on toast delivered by Abdul
went outside and got an insect bite. this is it it's over for me. i've got the lime
fucks sake you got me
what was it? a horsefly?
Abdul also delivers the smartwhip thoughbeit
oh my fucking god I forgot how delicious cake is
Still waiting for the gritty docu-drama on The Troubles and the IRA where every character is black or brown
Why are so many slags working in male prisons what is happening here
My cake is VERY delicious *exposes hairy arse*
what the fuck
two years and not a key of cocaine today lads
skint?
/brit/ is for introverts to pretend they're extroverts. 75% of people here find it difficult to socialise with real people which is why they'd rather do it here
hahaha
was on a packed tram there and this lass kept intentionally rubbing herself on me, the freak.
Been outside since 12. That’s five hours in the sun, more than I’ve been out in a year, unironically. Mental how good this feels.
kek
For some reason slag women really really like working in mens prisons. It's a total mystery why.
sucking a beer
watching straight pornography and wanking the straight willy
I’m being ethnically replaced in my homeland by English people
one hit St. Louis
THANK GOD
should've reported it to the nearest copper. that sort of thing is just not on
another demented dictator
many such cases!
sucking a gay penis
Might grow a goatee
because theres guys there. guys with big cocks who are alpha enough to do crimes like tony soprano
waheyyy
Bit gay
*whispers "gay pornnnn..." in your ear*
i'd have been done for noncery no doubt. That's the world we live in
poo screaming
I feel bad for Jamie Vardy and hope he finds work soon because he's sure to top himself if he has to spend almost all of his time at home with his wife Rebekah Vardy
one of these comments is gay and ts not the one you'd think
What?
any RSI man in?
i can only grow a mustache and goatee due to my iberian genetics
Rune Scape Incel? yea me
nah I have a padded mousemat
yeah yours
yeah I have repetitive strain injury, from fucking your mum too much
get the gay poos wanked
I also have Iberian genetics and can grow a full beard but it's ginger :/
my gf has one of those mousepads where its got boobs on it but its the blonde guy from silent hills pecs
Me as a gay porn director in India
Europe's migration problem is non-consensual and a product of a foreign (Judeo-American) financial and geopolitical dynamic.
The meta political case against immigration is self-evident, as seen by European electoral politics for the past 50 years where the party that campaigns against immigration always wins. No population in the history of mankind has ever agreed to be ethnically replaced in its own land. Europeans will vote for the Communist Party or Hezbollah if they run on a campaign on ending mass migration.
Soogs and Winnie taking turns pooing in my mouth.
nigga you got them leprechaun genetics
Serious boss shit going on yesterday. watch how this motherfucker came back in the final length
My girlfriend doesn't exist
didnt ask tho
*hits the nae nae*
Ever shag her up the arse?
Don't know.
need a Lutheran gee eff
rorke attending the alpha male bootcamp
cooooorrrrrrrr pwoaaaarrr
New Sig Sauer US military sidearm and widely used police service weapon goes off without warning due to defective design.
This company apparently has a Jewish ceo. They received this contract due to corruption and nepotism like everything else in today's America....
youtu.be
haven't studied for any of my three exams next week and looking forward to failing them all and ruining my life when I fail to get my degree because of them x
downloading doom dark ages de lads (going game!)
gets married
hates his wife
why do people do this
I had my third-year dissertation due last week and I haven't handed it in
will be buying it when its on sale and heavily discounted
I occasionally have dreams about having an essay deadline coming up that I haven't even started. Always a relief to wake up from them.
The average weight of a poop varies but generally falls between 123.6 grams and 128 grams. Some studies indicate that the weight can range from 5 grams to 1,505 grams per day, depending on factors such as diet, hydration, and frequency of bowel movements
corr
imagine doing a kilo and a half of poo a day
sucking off a red bull
i got a nice 11 day lead up to my exams going to be a good boy and study hard. behind a few weeks atm but i should be able to catch up
That's the gf home, she was volunteering at the migrant hotel for her DofE
is it finished though?
He didn't like the poo sex
Mad how you could just be minding your own business in America and get wiped out by a tornado
What?
pooing 5 grams of poo in a day
why would your body bother pooing with that little poo in the system
ktim
nah I never started it
think I can redo it in summer if not I'll just fail at this point
had a dominos for dinner last night
Having one tonight too
Don’t give a fuck mate
I heard DofE can be completed in adulthood so your bait won't work on me!!!!!!!!
Douglas of banbenburg.
another poo post
another gay porn post
another heathermong post
another katy/gherkin post
another tranny post
lads.......
fat bastard
Energy drinks are all fucking disgusting
Just have a coffee instead of rancid chemical slop
FOY
baited enough to reply
I’m underweight
why didn't you do a double order last night and perform a reheat tonight?
grow up little boy
nope
don't need the mexican beanslop waterjew
Outifit
can't you just say your nan died and thats why you did shit on an exam? it's not like they'll actually check
where is he
it's british culture
FOY
Thin bastard
best place to meet women single male? dont have the charisma to communicate on text
you first
That’s the spirit. It’s your life!
Too many of them
rorke hitting a griddy when his mum says its pizza for dinner
NEVER let a south american design your building
my mate tried that and they said oh okay. resits in september, 40% MAX final grade
ex gfoids dadstein was going through cancer and her uniberg asked for a cheeky proof via medical records
muh chemicals
Love when brainlet mongs out themselves. All of them are scared of “chemicals”
I wasn’t sure if I’d want one tonight
I’m 22
wish i could post under a different flag
being a yank is a curse
Final nightshift toil looms
I work shifts you see
walk up to them at the bar and say "hey ladies looking good tonight", then just walk away
With the chin.
The Undying Lands
what a grim existonce
i work shits meself
us 22 year old zoomers have it the hardest in life tbqhdesu
he thinks 22 isn't a young runt no one gives a fuck about your opinions age
oh my days
People generally use it as shorthand for aritificially produced substances, you don’t need to be an autist about it
You can't get it wrong, lol.
What did you have for Sunday dinner lads?
have always found it weird that /brit/ is full of poor neets destined for a life of struggling and hardship but that you're all tories
BREAKING: Mexican warship crashes into the Brooklyn Bridge
Ordering 'cohol off the Uber Eats, cor and that
need him back here pronto
I work 4 on 4 off so its not that bad
its the born late 90's/early 2000's zoomers who have the heaviest cross to bear....
Do you feel like a bum if you're unshaven?
Coffee is great but sometimes I'll buy one.
If I get an energy drink it's usually Red Bull sugar free. Also recently tried the zero ultra white Monster again.
Med
Coffee is an artificially produced substance. It has to go through tons of processing before it’s ready to drink. You are a mong.
coffee is an artificially produced substance
We aren’t all tories it’s just they are usually the loudest
existonce
whats the 'der
dont want to tell you
im a freak
im a weirdo
Nobody.
raping my arse with a vase
get out
yeah, we could all tell dude
it comes off a tree you poindexter ass niggas know what he means
everyone born after 9/11 is a child to me
poo raping a poo arse
men with ven
Prefer not to say
saw a lass at the bar said she looks nice and then asked what she's buying and then walked away and she text me afterwards saying
"you seemed really cool to begin with but then *gets violently raped halway through post*
I am not the first one who said it.
bit suspicious how the only ones complaining about not being able to go into the opposite gender's toilets are "trans women" aka men. never seem to see any messages like "these new laws are literally killing us trans men! trans men are men too!" it's exclusively about men wanting to be in the same room as undressed little girls. really makes you think, doesnt it?
I liked him. He was cool
had a lovely band practice this afternoon. our album comes out towards the end of the year. you will see us on posters (not telling you who my band is obvs)
TELL ME NOW
explain to me right now the flaws in my plan of pretending to need anti-depressants and medication for anxiety all so I can fake a claim for disability and adult allowance so I never have to work again
Her farts stink.
good evenening la *gets violently raped halway through post*
The accent, Jason.
just picked my dog up and shuck him like a can of coke
yes it's almost like the issue is men and not trans people at all
screoiuqowe
What is this about. Aren't coffee beans essentially roasted then ground up and brewed?
As with a lot of things I'm sure different levels of "processing" happen depending on what you buy.
But the basic process is very natural
so those jews at eurovision then
what do we make of that lads
nutty i think
You're just a little Anon Babble incel FREAK typing on his keyboard or phone GUI. That's all you are. Get that inside your little Anon Babble incel FREAK brain.
you're actually towards the end of that post rather than halfway
what happened this time?
never let him in
This is a Young Gentlemen's Club. Act accordingly.
not me but yes, everyone else here
Mother of 3 sucked into plane engine was warned to stay back
watching the half marathon there. Sorry but i could do that easily
*bends over and blasts you with a torrent of diarrhea*
Nordo-med..
ktim
where do you think the sugar, caffeine etc. in energy drinks come from
*slaps you across the face with a glove*
I challenge you to a duel with frozen poopsicles
only bloody went and rigged the whole thing
poo roaring
those cheeky jews
im posting through ttylinux on my phone so actually im not using a keyboard or a GUI
Smoothie
they're so naughty haha x
HEY, Teacher! Leave those kids alone
What did they mean by this?
the gfberg being as liberal as leftypol on most issues but turning into rorke when I ask about her opinions on trannies using the same bathroom as her
The conversation is if coffee is an artificially produced substance. which it isn't.
it's coffee beans that get roasted then ground up and brewed.
hang the nonces, simple as
gay boyfriend's got a cold so I made him soup and kissed his hair on the sofa
I lost my eye
teacher was teaching wrong think
In the United Kingdom, the British Phonographic Industry (BPI) oversees certifications, with the following thresholds:
Wikipedia
+2
Wikipedia
+2
Wikipedia
+2
Singles:
Silver: 200,000 units
Gold: 400,000 units
Platinum: 600,000 units
Headphonesty
+10
EW.com
+10
Wikipedia
+10
Wikipedia
+5
RIAA
+5
Wikipedia
+5
Albums:
Silver: 60,000 units
Gold: 100,000 units
Platinum: 300,000 units
Since July 2014, streaming has been included in these calculations, with 100 streams equating to one unit for singles
NERDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
wtf so israel won all the televotes and 0 jury votes
no one is voting for that bum ass song somethings fishy they probably orchestrated it to demonstrate that israel has popular support
could do with a canadian gf
grandpa just sent me this
I will try something
Coffee is artificially produced. You think they just pick cans of Lavazza off a tree and ship them straight to a supermarket. Coffee production is a long artificial process.
this image made me moan involuntarily for some reason
Horus (or Isis herself in some versions) then deliberately spreads his semen on some lettuce, which was Set's favourite food. After Set had eaten the lettuce, they went to the gods to try to settle the argument over the rule of Egypt. The gods first listened to Set's claim of dominance over Horus, and call his semen forth, but it answered from the river, invalidating his claim. Then, the gods listened to Horus' claim of having dominated Set, and call his semen forth, and it answered from inside Set.
Reading about Egyptian mythology lads.
there are some baddies in the Saudi version of The Office in case you were wondering
wtf those potatoes look fucking grim. why are they ashened?
That too much for a car
Rorke mate what is your mum playing at? Give her a smack for serving that shite ffs, look at the state of those spuds man
my coffee was grown and processed by a growers union of only women, i am a feminist
putting someones poo up my arse and pooing it out
A twice pooed poo as it were
a reverse sear
mad how i'm better in all aspects of everything than everyone who has ever posted in /brit/ cos you're all disgusting subhumans.
arrest all women
I've had enough of your lip
i source exclusively from nigger slave plantations in darkest africa so as to support my blak brothers but i suppose racists like yourself can't be helped
Ser Kier is now the true defender of the realm, he's sending them all back.
women are disgusting
made fuck all on my bets this weekend
I, M, 21 y.o
Get yourself down the pub lads
okay? why post this
women are mad
I got some
what is that liquid
why post anything?
this is an actual medical procedure
When the fun stops, stop
Perfectum.
Whats your first name and middle name lads?
Mine is Charles Joseph
Irn bru mate
sex attacker Bradley
ginger beer i like it cos it matches my hair and watch strap and keeps me sober
Spot me.
not telling you first but my middle name is also joseph
don malaponte... could it be....
Slap
Cock must just be that good
It's literally the only explanation
Toby ^.^ xx
julian leopold
XD
5 mins till mum leaves and the dominos is getting ordered and the ganja is getting smoked
Life’s good
The fuck you want me to be?
totally arsed up my poo
fizzy wee
so do you lads who are forever on the dole have an alright existence or do you just forever hate yourself and wish you could do more with your life?
the most famous irishman was half cuban
lol
american women <3
bet she's proud
runt
Iqbal
How old are you?
I turned 22 on Friday just gone
Shame I'll never do sex; reckon I'd be proper good at it
I had you
Not bothered if she is or if she isn’t tbf mate I live life for myself
Nice one
mum found the ai deepfake porn I made of her
thoughts on standing desks?
*to the tune of Beverly Hills by Weezer*
Mentally ill
/brit/ is my family
Yeah
Egyptlad is mentally ill
not shagged for 11 years, wasting my above average knob
good idea, don't have one meself
Egyptlad
don't feed into it
it's just some bot the cuckspammer's worked on
yeah you're living life. heard brad pitt bought the film rights to your life story
sent that freak into orbit
recently shown to not be as much of an improvement as thought before.
I’d rather di caprio do it I look a lot like his younger self
11 year dry spell is even more baffling to me than being a vf, genuinely curious about ur story la
I lost the wheel of the bike wink
Stop with the movies and move on with your life.
didn’t know ordering a pizza and smoking a joint on the weekend was enough to make people seethe
Sort it out you runt
rorke's sister
fuaaarrkrkkk damnnnn
Just inside your head man.
relieving units for cronem goons
would genuinely pay £100 just to sniff her bum
Stopopoz
Why are you so mad
Bit of a meme, have the motorized adjustable ones at work, maybe 5% of people use em for like 30 mins a day
Lordosis
prefer "skinny flipflop wearing small boat cronem clapmeat"
Same
Thinolgy
Lordosis
good. don't have to nag her to ARCH IT during cowgirl
next time
Rorke's sisters heading to the trap house
Bukake
rorke heading to the trap house
don't know what to do
Rorke when someone’s life isn’t a movie
Can I get one weed please mate
right mogs too hard
mum just popped out time to suckle on my thc vape and order an kizza of ages
West England.
there's supposed to be another k in there somewhere
rorke: my life a damn movie bruh
Rape and murder your family, niggers will
left is just skinnier. she could put on ssome weight and get a bigger arse and still be prettier
mindlessly viewing shit like this without a second thought every day is why i cant get hard with the gf
They’re freaks mate, enjoy yourself
Lads, the post count!
Ya kalb
so this is it, the final /brit/
why
I hate how webms like this make me feel
I've got a lovely homely 6/10 gf who I've been with for many years, she was a virgin when I met her, sweetest kindest most loyal girl I'll ever know, and yet almost every day I think about ending it with her and finding a hot slag with a tight body
I feel like a pig for it but I can't help having this urge
Not with a bang, but with a whimper
both crafted for the dark lords of the serengeti anyway
Anyone remember the 1000 post /brit/
Well.
are the uk legal thc vapes any good?
screasmihfg
Crafted for the zulu meat monoliths
just tell her it'll be better if she lets you shag about
but of course you have to be able to get the big arsed social media slag that's definitely shagging 10X chad gods
Why??
Get it made ffs
Watching Ghostbusters (1884)
Do not quote dark magic to me witch I was there when it was written
XD
well i'm not fucking making it
new
Sleep?
early