/brit/

Rise and shine edition

miss sharty.

Stop making threads fat. We're supposed to be guests here.

Bollocks absolutely reek of poo because I’ve had them in Emma Watson’s bum.

Today's my birthday lads

Do people still get Covid?

what is this, the /yank/ thread?

I was going to ask about what jobs people do but its 9:30

F.
O.
Y.

ya more like yank me off cutie

this made soyllennials piss and shit themselves with laughter
zoomerbvlls saved internet culture

Get your neck yanked in a bike chain FUCKING CUNT

To be exact, it is a DOG SHIT yank thread. Created by one dog shit yank.

Funny how the UK created America but now America dominates the UK, just the circle of life "innit"

on the blackcurrent ribena lads

gosh he looks like the friendly sort. i need to befriend his rear end

Do you have a foreskin?

NO U

are these comics supposed to be funny

Bent faggot

*runs around the thread and throws poo everywhere*
FUCK THIS YANK THREAD FUCK THIS YANK THREAD

got a dull ache in my lower back
I'm not even 30 yet ffs

Irish people be like "oim oirish" lmfaoooo

um he's the one bent over in that pic and i don't bend, plus your thread sucks and the Emma poo guy sounds like he eats psych meds for brekkie

yanks need to be thrown into a wood chipper

Link one funny thing that a zoomer has made

banterless spazzoid

Bomberdini Gusini

Can never hit my protein target without eating too many calories
Maybe I need to start eating beans

"Tops" is a nickname of mine so this was weird to see

with your little puny runt arms, I'd like to see you try Oliver

Lmao

mental how zoomers look down on millennials for "lolsorandumb" humour and yet the primary mode of zoomer humour is brainrot which is 100% lolsorandumb

dont want to

Leave him alone, he just knows what he likes

at the end of the day you're 37 and im not

never had a linkedin account. theres a whole world out there I know nothing about

youtu.be/HAbYRGt-RoQ?si=9xz73CScLn-pnXzz

Haha they do be like that

I'm 6"2 and weight 120kg. Don't fuck with me Jose

i miss my chubby butt welsh boy with the shag hair

Yeah we are genuinely the worst generation, hopefully gen alpha is better but I'm not holding out hope

it's populated entirely by the sorts of people who were friends with english teachers in high school

Hope you lads that are in your prime twink years are out living large and not wasting them like I did

Yanks are particularly yankish today
Aussies too

thought its the shagger social media

Bit high strung are we? Fat and fem aren't my type ouch

Had a dream last night where i was go-karting with a bunch of friends and as i'm going around the track I just kind of lock in and drive, completely oblivious to the fact that nobody else is on the track anymore.
After a while I snap back in to reality and notice someone very angrily ushering my back into the pit to leave the track.
I do so and find that one of the other drivers shit herself violently and it was all over the track. Everyone got out immediately except me who was just going round and round and driving through shit without noticing.
Then everyone was really mad at me for not stopping which I thought was weird because nobody was mad at the person who shit all over the track. Anyway I was alienated for the rest of the day.
Wonder what the deeper meaning behind that one is

nah I'm right here
gonna go to bed soon

a lot of people think prime simpsons ended in season 9, but i reckon it was still good up until the season 11 episode "beyond blunderdome" (that's the one that has mel gibson as a guest star)

*watches you swing, miss, and send yourself flying with the momentum*

phew, slipped under the radar

absolutely fucking not its all tryhard neeks

????

You're gay and love poo

who make more money than you

Is it gay to eat poo if the poo comes from a female bum?

i think my analysis was rather accurate you fucking black nigger

Omg, I literally think the same. That was literally the last good episode

I'm getting/fit/ for twink pussy lids and all i have is women trying to chat me up

wish the corner of my fingernail would get infected again
loved piercing it and seeing all the neon green puss ooze out

Fee fi fo fum
I smell the bum of an English mum

bart raped milhouse

oh
oh now that's a shame
oh dear

Farts are completely reeking today. Have to literally get up and fart in a different room and walk away so I don't gag

no i'm saying that episode was shit too
it occurs to me that i was the first episode of season 11 so now i can just reclarify my point and say season 10 was good but season 11 was not

......you will not get away with this.....

manual labourers. dont know if ic ould be them

Wonder what the deeper meaning behind that one is

You feel as if society is shunning you for being slightly abnormal, even though your abnormalities are more of a choice of nature rather than something you're actively doing.
You also feel that you're relatively normal compared to some others who can do insane stuff and be welcomed as a member of society, whereas you are always the pariah.

Reckon this is low-key announcing a report

ugly faggot

unfunny millennial bollocks

i've got two words for ya sonny jim; skibidi, and toilet.

no comment

Us millennials built everything around you. Have some fucking respect

raped that freak in half

The lovely Asian women

Announcing a report has to be explicit for it to break a rule.

no one likes a grass

lmaoing at the time all jannys got doxxed

I know exactly what this dream means but I won't tell you haha keeping it to myself hahahaha

I love grass, love having picnics on it

looking forward to playing one in ghost of yotei
though i imagine we won't have the nice hot spring bum scenes of ghost of tsushima

He’s got big balls
And she’s got big balls
But we’ve got the biggest balls of them all

was that during this recent hack or some years ago? rings a distant bell

The pope died today

used to listen to the merry and pippin podcast but had to stop because they kept shouting too much

gay porn.

mad how the pope used to be an actual janny

everyone at work hates me because I'm quiet and autistic and weird

gf reckons all italian men have a foot fetish

Pope’s dead

why are we talking about the pope when the position of archbishop of canterbury has been VACANT for 3 bloody months?

fuck you stupid

wanna jab a bloke in his arse me yeh

that's not why

coworkers have liked me for those reasons before

the Pope was Argentinian

real name Jorge Mario Bergoglio

Yeah no he was an Italian regardless of nationality.

The next pope should be Glaswegian

imagine being a porn actor and getting paid to fuck hot women every day
bet it's not as good as it sounds

Archbishop of York is a right wokey
Remember him saying that Jesus was black a few years ago

foot long spider

this is my ideal bf, if you're wondering

you have 98iq taste

hey lads, seen that freak anon? swear the guy's an autist or something, only time i've heard him speak was some nonsense about "feels" or something

are you a teenage girl?

isnt the pope meant to be a significant christian figure? why does it seem like no christians give a shite about him dying

seems like the whole anglican establishment has gone woke barmey

Do some people actually have a inner monologue? Like they listen to voices in their heads all day? Fucking freaks

becob hes in heavan with god :)

Might start referring to the Pope as the Bishop of Rome

Argentinians are almost all completely Italian by ancestry
Makes it quite funny when they argue about having claims to the historical Spanish interests in the Falklands

reckon people who watch JOI videos must very weird

For me it’s pontifex maximus

Theres a few inner monologue mongs in here. Its no wonder they're so depressed all the time they're living life like they're mark corrigan

The jews killed the pope

mtf

literal worst of both worlds
no tits no arse no dick no nothing

wish fat people and people who don't run and will do no training at all would stop signing up for marathons

Asian women - cute, feminine, quiet, loving

maybe seventy years ago

Need to be put in concentration camps for our safety

I can think in many different ways
I'm just intelligent like that I suppose lol x

why do you spend so much time doing this shit

femboy ≠ tranny
You're so new

this is me >~<

you've been spazzing out on here for days now mate. look inward xx

:/ - poo
:0 - asian poo

don't you remember the other pope before last? he was famous for canonising more saints than any other pope, and also for attempting to cover up noncery in the institution
anyway he died back in 2005 and the world at large didn't seem to give much of a toss

Not a clue what you mean by this

lil atheist mong hear "catholic church" and immediately start talking about child rape. literally a pavlovian response

Remember when the popes actually ran the world

yeah im so glad we let mong commoners rule civilisation now haha thank you tony blair!!

by the same logic that drinking water when you're thirsty is a pavlovian response

what are you even on about you psycho

guys look at me, I can spin an imaginary red apple in my high IQ brain

Grow up

got some chips on my shoulders

neighbourberg's dog going off its nut when all i want is some peace and quiet
why do i have to live in a world full of obnoxious irresponsible twats? it not right

Not really. Most people don't think about child rape when they hear "Pope" or "church". You're psychologically compromised so its like ringing a little bell and you start frothing at the mouth.

are you saying you're horny

you're a woman arent you

I have Reason to believe there is a Papist plot to overthrow His Majesty King Charles III and replace him with a Scoundrel who will bring this Fair Isle under the yoke of Rome once more

Most people don't think about child rape when they hear "Pope" or "church".

yes they do, non-catholics anyway, project on digaygo

might get into competitive pooing

yeah so anyway the catholic church
PORN PORN SEX SEX CHILD ABUSE RAPE CHILD RAPE NONCE NONCE NONCE!!!

think it’s just a newmong doing babbies first ironic retardation posting

right so its confirmed this aussie is a paedophile

aw poor lil brainlet x

dunno how autists managed to convince the world that they're all just sheldon coopers and bill gateses when every one you actually meet is an incredibly offputting chris chan type

dont know what the fuck you're talking about your insufferable misanthropic loser jesus fucking christ i think its YOU that needs to grow up

performance bonus came in good lads

was trying to switch lanes earlier and the car behind me wasn't giving me enough room to get in before the merge so i kept waiting for him to slow down but then he just beeped at my
stupid cunt expected me to break the speed limit in order to merge ahead of him, if i wasn't so wrecked from toil i would've followed him home and upper deckered his toilet

Omdz absolutely rattled this pseud

He’s literally me

and then a kangaroo hopped out and said "G'day mate!" and we all threw a shrimp on the barbie before heading down to the opera house

rattled beyond compare

what a boring response. was expecting some kind of interesting retort but if all you're going to do is claim im rattled and mad and seething and coping like its 2009 then im done here lil bro...

Honestly does my head in, the roads really do expose that like 10% of the functioning adult population are deranged
Pulled out into the fast lane on the 40mph section of the M4 the other week and some fella in some knackered old merc with a headlight out was miles back from me, drove right up to me honking his horn and flashing his lights. About five mins later got to the 70mph but and he was still fuming, pulled out in front of me and brake checked me in the middle of the motorway.
I honestly think I can say, guilt free, I would have no sympathy if he died in a horrible car crash later that day.

”lil bro”

he’s boiling

he's mad alright!!

melty

i thought brits didn't say 'mad' to mean 'angry'

im done here lil bro...

you're not though are you
gigamelty incoming

angry that

He's ABSOLUTELY FUKKIN RAGING

Might pop down to Greggs for an Emma Watson poo roll.

You've completely spun his head red apple into the stratosphere

catholic church

south east asian primary school

spaki getting smacked around the park itt
you love to see it

fuck sake need a wank now

You guys are all high as fuck on pills and whatever else

mental>mad

the pope

Going into a south east asian primary school disguised as an Armitage Shanks

wanked to jlaw fappening pics every single day since they dropped

hnnng

yeah i didn't think my faith in humanity could possibly get any lower until i got my licence
it's a miracle we don't have more car crashes with retards like that being ten-a-penny on the road
they almost always drive big pickup trucks too like a ford raptor or a hilux, probably makes them feel invincible

spaknonce’s attempt to be funny was shut down
let the nonceposting commence

I'm 25

IS DEED JUST LIKE BOBBY SANDS HAHAHAHAHAHA

two minutes Turkish

FAITH IN HUMANITY RESTORED !!!!

he's legitimately mentally unwell

so THIS is rorke

the pop was a gay communist spic
a victory for the white race

He cute

do you reckon the pope met bobby sands in hell?

thats not a very nice thing to say

The fiddle is a great instrument

i've compiled a huge list of words the mentally ill goblin in here uses to play with his dollies. Sometimes I am called one of these dollies, but with Anon Babble x i cannot see any of his replies, so it will mean for all eternity the wheelchair spastic who plays dollhouse will seethe and reply to my posts all day and i'll never see him haha

never played spore
i could have, plenty of people did, for free

yurrrrrp

why did bobby sands go to hell
he likes his burgers flame grilled

THE POPE IS IN A BOX

The lesser of two weevils

Rorkestead... I'm... I'm from Rorkestead

was a bit rubbish except the first 5 where your a cell or something

he doesnt even know the word filter list i use so he's probably spammed responses at least 4 times to that post and i cant see it haha

what is blud waffling about

the cell stage and animal stage are both great but it's only downhill from there, space stage in particular gets boring as fuck once you realise there's only like 10 different types of quests just framed differently each time

SimLife >>> Spore

you start as a cell and then you're a space-faring species
seemed like too much work
sort of in the same vein there was ancestors the human odyssey where you played as proto humans, it was from the guy that created assassin's creed

the pope died from overgrown testicles due to not having sex. What a virge

have you ever looked at the moon or mars through a telescope

kiddy fiddler on the roof

giggling

the news is depressing

i thought i was a good person that was made shit by a cruel world but actually i’m not good at all

anna faris would be hot if she didn't do so many stupid roles

Why didn't the pope offer his cadaver to the starving kids in Africa?

how do you know?

anyone else brutally mogged by their siblings? my older brother married a rich norweigan girl who's dad is a share holder in a company that refines oil, got given a fancy role and earns mental amounts of money and lives in luxury

whenever my family speak to my parents they only ever ask about him and never me, im like an exiled runt

explicitly says you shouldn’t eat people in the bible

shouldn't have got pissed last night for no good reason other than to nurse the hangover I carried into work at monday
bit grim that
really need to cut down how much I drink it's not good lads

siblings no, cousins yes

a brutal truth which is best to learn sooner rather than later is that most people will dislike you by default. you have to give them a reason not to.

married a rich

good for him but that's no accomplishment

that's tough luck pal, at least you can cope by telling yourself he just got lucky and it doesn't really reflect personal merit
my sister did the same thing (married into a rich family) but she's fat so i think i know who's winning

i am a void
not sadistic really and i have pseudo-emotions
but there is nothing really there deep down

wonder what the popes last wank was over
wonder when he was last able to get his william hard

Grow up and make a life for yourself you sad little mong

i thought kiwis considered everyone to be their cuz

probably a little boy's nice pink arse

captchka playing games with me

alri dexter

going to new zealand and joining a moari tribe and scranning the local timmies

Need an ugly crypto-dyke christian wife with autisn

nah but I look absolutely awful next to my cousins.
they're tall, good-looking, and very charismatic on account of their father being also tall, good-looking and charismatic.
my dad is a fat little autistic Irishman, and the apple doesn't fall from the tree
share half my dna with them and we could look or act more opposite if we tried

screaming at the heeb damage control after this louie theroux israel hit piece just dropped

alright gang, let's boogie!
*starts dancing*

literal cousins, not friendly acquaintance cuzzies

/brit/berg demanding another 15 straight hours of postingtoil
not sure how much more i can take

Merry Christmas lads

*cracks the whip*

do you have lots of maori friends

*squeals runtishly*

*hits you over the head with a cricket bat and nicks your wallet while you're dancing*

i have 0 maori friends

being ethnically replaced in my evil incel smelly childhood bedroom

omlette du fromage

its called a paddle

*instantly curls my arms up due to the brain damage and begins gurgling and seizing*

why's that
are they racist

no, the other one that makes omelette du people

mad how I'm just expected to not be racist when they **all** look, smell, talk, and act like that

he's racist

anyone remember when diego got really drunk and was posting his bum for the lads
bet he doesnt even remember haha

no fucking way that indian cunt slogging record centuries in the IPL is actually 14

looks at least 20

why did dexters laboratory speak in that way
like he was supposed to be russian or german or something but he was just a yank as far as I know

no we’re all fuck ups

all mad scientists are german

rate the cheeky deliveroo order x

Autists have weird voices

alri luke

reckon he ever got fed up with deedee and shagged her

me looking in /brit/ for toby

just never happened

Imagine it’s the 4th of July but instead of setting off fireworks, having cookouts or taking a dip in the swimming pool to escape the summer heat, you’re singing Christmas carols, drinking eggnog, and opening presents. That’s what they do in Australia, the wronguns.

deedee you are STOOOOOOOOOOPID

How about Indians, do you have any Indian friends?

ur kinda cute

Lewis got me banned for 3 days lads

just one

fascinating

Didn't have cartoon network or nickeloedon growing up only CBBC and CITV

how is this tesco regional manager looking fucker about to become the PM of jamaica, seems criminal for it not to be some dred lock rasta man with a spliff hanging out his mouth

i MIGHT have to kill myself

bumbaclart

ain't nuthin jamal cud do lmao

why are we like this?

Jamaica is a diverse place mate

He'll be here soon because today is the day when Rate My Takeaway and Gary Eats film their collab. It's like Batman meeting up with Spider-Man is how MN was saying it.

Not our fault Turks are so kissable

loads of irish ended up in jamaica at some point in time

Horror as inferno rips through Chinese restaurant killing at least 22

Like Hiroshima all over again.

egg fry rice

rorke letting eggy ones let rip

kentucky fried chinks

I'll have 22 extra crispy please

*puts my gun fingers in the air*
ya dunnnnn know

what 0 Anon Babble does to a nigga

ktim
pretty sure it's just a facetious version of facebook

*runs back and gives you willy a little tickle before running off again*

invest in yourself

cheers for saving my image and reposting it lol

the 3/4 white man marches on

the after effect of capitulating to your shadow
he won

fuck off you snide cunt you didn't make it

dark fruits weather this