/brit/

Friends edition

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poo smells lmao

How did jew ross have a perfectly aryan son

when you don't even believe that you can pull off a look and wear an outfit

If you don't believe you cannot make others believe.
Also the leather pants are a size too small and the shirt is two sizes too big. Doesn't help Schwimmer is a manlet either.

i am genuinely a broken person who has fucked my life up beyond repair

kek this is me

arsed it all up have you yeah?

Finna clean the dust from my PC my nibba

slightly exhaling out of my nose at the thought that this week one of you has been posted on social media in a selfie with your girlfriend. just you and your girlfriends face to the camera.

mad how fit bottles are

playing Balatro until i finally get a win on this fucking gold stake

Right lads, I've decided I'll get an office job. Need recommendations.

how religious is England? did christian lads get bullied at your school? do doorknockers get told to fuck off?

get in line pal

Doubt it

IT but not IT Service Desk. something a bit higher up

i recommend you work from home F*CK officestein

the weird little chink has never heard the phrase "well rid of" and thinks it's "british phrasing" lmao

why

inspecting my poo on my poo shelf

he's a hateful bitter incel.

we're past balatro lad, we're onto nubby's number factory now

you have to pose for photos that your girlfriend takes every time you go out for a meal

hello

stretching my willy frenulum out a foot long and plucking a merry tune

i wanna play it but im an Xboxfag

get yourself a thinkpad and get nubbing little man

chunks of smeg pinging off in random directions with every strum

your girlfriend leans in at a random time with the self facing camera open aimed at your freakish face

vile

You know why
Incel? Literally just throwing random words about

Feel like both of these require actual skills, unfortunately. Like a history of software development etc.

nah im gonna buy a proper PC at some point. Probably when i move out of the shithole flat

favourite shemale pornstar?

your girlfriend asking you to stop in the crowded street to take 36 photos of her standing there

i got my IT ob after working in a call centre

Wots Ur job title

Is it possible to train ur dog if you’ve had him 6 years and haven’t really trained him

your girlfriend taking a photo of her plate in a dimly lit restaurant with the flash on

bizarre autistic virgin gimmick

Senior Infrastructure Engineer. I wasnt senior when i first got the ob tho

Stupidly fucking close to 300 kegs, just fuming I couldn't quite lock it out

Oh is this the fitness board I thought this was Anon Babble

skinny runt mong lol

your girlfriend recording you driving

can tell you're fat irl just from the way you phrased this

Poo or poo not; there is no shite

straps

belt

compression tights

you didn't lift the weight, pantyboy

dyel

your girlfriend taking a photo of you looking at your pint

my arse cries out for a raping

I've pulled 280kg with no straps or belt on a power bar, I legitimately get fuck all out of the cope gear compared to most people
I just deadlift like a mong and rip off the floor as fast as possible

What is actually wrong with this? She wants to preserve memories.

your girlfriend taking a selfie of you on crowded public transport then retaking it after she thought it could be improved

just an angry coping incel. many such cases!

It isn't actually as hot as it looks today for me. 12°C

Never worked a till job in my life. Gives me the fear.

welsh lad? Hope that's you

your girlfriend posting a picture on her account of you standing runtlike and gormless for a minor event in the extended family

and i don't want photos taken of me without warning? think thats a reasonable request

I will be finding a girlfriend through speed dating

leftypol failing the green line test in every picture he has with his fat gf

pantyboy at the gym

yeah sounds great in theory but it probably hurts and gets a bit pooey

I am very smelly today. Very stinky. Any of you lads who live in the Greater Manchester area know the drill.

Opposite but sure

you didn't lift the weight, pantyboy

And yet your body developed muscles, evenly

your girlfriend posting a clip of you shimmying your next jeans on

Worked for a mate of mine

just jerked off for the absolutely last time ever

Getting the cage fitted are we

very beautiful girl looking at me in tesco of course i lock up and just rush scan my things and leave
hate myself

your gf calling you her "partner in crime" on her facebook post about your birthday

toil toilberg i had signed up for a course and wouldn't be in until after lunch
did sign up for that course but did NOT go so have been wanking and posting here instead

same

I told my girlfriend I have a sensitive job that requires no images uploaded online

What did you jerk off to? Hope you went all out if it's your last time.

Have any of you ever brake checked someone? I feel like if I do it they’ll just smash into me

Spent 250 quid on dinner and drinks on Vaalentines Day and the mrs started crying in the bar that I didn't take any photos of her

I empathise with reviling the possibility of pics of my face being on some social media site I don't even use
but the issue is if you state your displeasure at your face being spread around, they assume you're two timing them
irrational creatures as they are

Like if you agree!

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You're going to witz your dick and realize you've got neither willy nor wilma, but rather a wound that men don't want to fuck.

incels talking about situations they'll literally never be in again is it? lol

Drank a fuck-tonne last night and amazed I'm out of bed before noon

No, if I'm being tailgated I'll normally either speed up if safe to do so or pull in and let them past.
I had a 370 brake Golf R a few years ago that was 4 seconds to 60 and snuck under 10 seconds to 100 so it'd dust most things, I used to just blast off from tailgating mongs in their 420d like they were standing still

Do women like men who smell natural and husky?

husky

yeah they want your raw looking smelly knot

will never finish a video i'm, watching unless someone prefaces it with something like "wait until the end! XD"
i'll just get distracted and switch it off otherwise. i also need canned wheezing laughter to tell me its funny

got fucked up in the park last night with me mates lines cans tabs everything

only people who still use incel as an insult are self hating incels trying to cover their own arse

corrrr

Good. You have nothing to lose.
Go all in for a few hands, see if it gets better.

Above everything else, they like men who smell clean. A nice, quality fragrance also wouldn't go amiss.

same but I had sex because of my gnosis and bomber jacket

chip butties for lunch

I should be able to feel romantic partners however much I want without necessarily having to have sex with them

Serbia? i hardly know her!

all these post about girlfriend photos etc are scary to read. I've never thought about this stuff

Girls like men who douse themselves in lynx

done it once when some guy had pulled out on me in a 60 to do 30 so I overtook him and brake checked down to 5 tbf my dad had died like 2 hours before so I was raging anyway

Had women taken a photo of me once and that's how I learned my nose was a proper honker

my shagging days are behind me i am 34 you see

reported you to traffic cops

fat fucking catberg snoring so loud i can hear him from the other room

get him euthanized

seems like a very retarded yankish thing to do

There is literally nothing wrong with being a fat cat

Why would u do that brother

do girlfriends really get angry if you dont take photos of them unprompted or say you dont want to take one of yourself?

You are a nonentity, you have no destiny, you are a victim of a thing unknown

A mantle picture of a stolen soul, a fornication of your golden throne

Might try to get PIP for anxiety

dangerous pillock. liability on the roads. ticking time bomb. bet you're abusive to cyclists

Friends is shit and not funny, no idea why people (especially in this country) like it.

baking a cake for mummy :3

only timmy has to play cameraman every time he goes on a date

Could you BE any more boring?

never had road rage in my life because my IQ is above 100

man opens door

audience screams with laughter and claps

Depends if they’re being annoying? If they’re 2 or 3 in a line taking up the whole lane instead of single file then yeah, if they’re riding on the road instead of a cycle path then yeah

im quite bronze from the sunlight past few days

he's right though. friends is a big pile of shite

Who chooses to eat salad?

Some might

save it for the boys in blue

me every day i love salad all kinds always gotta have one

you know there's no such thing as a healthy tan, aye?
whether it's one of those artificial tanning beds or from the sun, any sort of tan is a sign that your skin has been damaged
premature ageing, carciongenic moles, etc

tans are not desirable
if you absolutely must do it then get fake tan

yes. most girlfriends will find you an immature freak if you dont ever let them take photos of you.

Don’t do this to me brother man

Dadberg is mild mannered and has an IQ of 145 but gets terrible road rage its pretty funny

dont care

yer da's a virgin

why lie
are you embarrassed about your mongo monkey father

just found out about womens period clumps

It's nutritionally pointless, just have vegetables.

Duckberg

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you won't get many replies because nobody here has a gf

got the racist ducktales theme stuck in my head again

I think yanks have been conditioned to laugh along with laugh tracks

oh wow
last time I look out for your health

yer da

mad how much of a hapless wretched feckless useless impotent little mong of a gimpboy i am

Why be a little coward who’s afraid to stand up for himself?

any good oriental ones

dont eat any red meat

alri spaki

I don’t hold £50k cash. I’ll tell you how I operate. Say I have a motor worth 7 grand. Say some traveller chap wants to buy this motor from me. I give him the motor and tell him hold onto the money. He’s my bank.

Trump has been the most disruptive President towards the system of American capitalism since Roosevelt

Bernie Sanders could not achieve what Trump has achieved

it's tasty and the roughage makes my poos nice just love food i often say I live to eat and salads are one of my favourite things to balance out a nice big meal of meat and carbs and vegetables also they have lots of micronutrients

we had plenty of laugh tracks here during the time friends ran

sadly i dont watch porn anymore

road rage is not standing up for yourself lmao i knew your dad was a retard just like you maybe stay off the road if it gets you so bothered

friends was filmed in front of an audience though

bought dior sauvage years ago

all the girls knees buckled when I was in proximity to them

now every cunt has it so my allure has no affect whatsoever

any of you got any niche cologne recommendations?
I am aware that spreading the word makes it less niche but we are all brothers here

shalom

Founding member of the SS. He was Hitler's first personal chauffeur, and was of mixed Jewish and ethnic German ancestry.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emil_Maurice

Jewish Luftwaffe General of the Air Force. Declared Aryan in 1935 by Hitler

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Helmuth_Wilberg

Was born to a Jewish father. Reclassified as Aryan by Adolf Hitler.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Erhard_Milch

Jewish Kriegsmarine captain, commander of the auxiliary cruiser Atlantis

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bernhard_Rogge

Jewish princess and a spy for Nazi Germany, declared an honorary Aryan

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stephanie_von_Hohenlohe

Jewish Leader of the Hitler Youth

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Helmut_Schmidt

German Jew. His image appeared in the Berliner Tageblatt as "The Ideal German Soldier", and was later used in recruitment posters and propaganda for the Wehrmacht.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Werner_Goldberg

German Jew, was featured as an infant in Nazi propaganda to find "the most beautiful Aryan baby" in 1935. Taft's image was subsequently distributed widely by the Nazis in a variety of materials, such as magazines and postcards, to promote Aryanism.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hessy_Levinsons_Taft

Magda befriended Lisa Arlosoroff and later became intimate with her brother Haim, an ardent Zionist. During her relationship with Haim, she briefly wore a Star of David and accompanied him to Jewish club meetings. The relationship did not last but theyremained in contact until Haim's migration to Israel, where he later headed the Jewish Agency.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Magda_Goebbels

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Helene_Mayer
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rudi_Ball
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ludwig_Carl_Moyzisch
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lehi_(militant_group)#Nazi_Germany

ndtv.com/world-news/the-fuhrers-child-how-adolf-hitler-came-to-adore-a-girl-with-jewish-roots-1947711

Whatever helps you sleep at night I guess

accidentally posted in old thread

nasty little gimp you

yea, eau de poo

it's gonna be so funny when you get in an accident because you had a chimp out behind the wheel over nothing and remember my posts

Should've all been executed

does type fragrance matter than much or just that there is one

im actually functionally down syndromed when it comes to maths
won't be doing this because you lads will bully me

I get road rage when I’m driving but it’s just because I’m a high test chad. I love the look of fear fat betas get when I roll down the window and scream at them.

I once threw an empty coke can at the back of some bald faggot in a Fiat 500 who was sat at a junction letting like 10 people out unnecessarily and I later overtook him and him and stared him down and I saw him visibly gulp and stare straight ahead LOL

no only nasty little pakis think fragrance matters

poztralia

basetralia

1*6=16, quick maths

ausGAYlia

yeah but im pretty sure the pg tips are getting a luh twitchy

I get road rage when I’m driving but it’s just because I’m a high test chad. I love the look of fear fat betas get when I roll down the window and scream at them.

I once threw an empty coke can at the back of some bald faggot in a Fiat 500 who was sat at a junction letting like 10 people out unnecessarily and I later overtook him and him and stared him down and I saw him visibly gulp and stare straight ahead LOL

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Could you BE any more wrong?

whats the difference between a nutrient and a micronutrient

got 31 bit of a spacker me

get the s*dding mangoes licked

Legend ahahah

katy being the bat and the mango cronem pg tip

based, I love doing retarded shit like this

fun fact: matt leblanc bought hot meal on first episode's money, matthew perry bought heroin

nutrients (ie macronutrients) like carbohydrates, proteins, and fats are required in large quantities for energy generation by your metabolism
micronutrients are required in small quantities for various enzymes and hormones etc in your body (eg vitamins and minerals)

Mi love di look a fear fat betas get wen mi roll dung di window an scream at dem.

Mi once throw a empty coke can at di back a some bald faggot inna a Fiat 500 weh did a sidong a one junction a let like 10 people out unnecessarily an mi later overtake him an him an stare him dung an mi si him visibly gulp an stare straight ahead LOL

try that shit here if you're so hard

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look at this dude

are you allowed to kill people in america because they look at you

Stuck in a lift

called some lad a stupid cunt and he got out of the car and confronted me

Same lad. It's later in life that I realized I actually enjoy mathematics but I'm genuinely fucked and probably have ADD. I just never paid attention in school and it made me a spastic fuck-up :(

no but that won't stop someone from shooting you

poo

Yeah, this time of the year and for this weather you want something light and fresh, like citrus or green smelling fragrance.

no but some retard did it to me on the M4 the other week because he deemed I pulled out on him when he was miles back and just speeding
he overtook me and then slammed on in his shitty merc with a headlight out
probably a paki or something

Best is when you scream at someone with their gf or wife in the car and you can literally see their attraction to them fading because they’re too scared to talk back to you LOL
Same. Makes me feel alive. I also speed and drink drive (albeit mildly over the limit). We live in such an unnatural way it’s good to get some of the rage out sometimes.
I would love to, Yanks are fat pussies. Bet you drive some massive monster truck to make up for your tiny cock don’t you

then why are there all those faggot road rage videos

Nobody has ever confronted me and I fairly regularly scream and aggressively gesture at people. I only do it to men though, for some reason it doesn’t make me mad when I see it’s a woman (or an old person)

the 'grance

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pipe down no one wants to hear your incel power fantasies lmfao

Off to the Asda

any gamers in

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cataclysmic poo on the horizon

i've driven all over the usa. people tried starting shit but saw the bomber jacket and knew better. lmao

Get us a clue please mate

If you love the French then why did you betray them on the whole submarine thing

jumpscare.....

i've never left Doylestown, Pennsylvania

point and click adventure gamer

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wasn't that their italian prime minister

why does this arouse me

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fucking screaming

no it's true, women love screaming men in cars

omg zazueta is back?

dont got no job lolzz

melty on the horizon for me, personally

what kind of cheese

upstairs is drilling right above my head. never ends with this guy

XD

nah I reckon that's an alright score

Minister for Loneliness

Britain is based and advanced

just a slimy slug of a man living in filth

please refrain from posting in our general then

Meanwhile in Japan

endless "i am depressed and lonely japanese salaryman" youtube video with 5k views

ktimothy daltoning at this

corrr someone eat this lad

sprucing up the CV LMAO

Women are a mystery to me, won't say what we were discussing but me and mumberg were having a convo and she thought I sounded very argumentative and dismissive.
I was playing Demon's Souls as she was talking to me and was only giving casual responses to what she was saying.
She genuinely stormed upstairs crying because I 'always have to prove her wrong'. I know you lot will be compelled to think I must be a cunt in some way, but I legitimately do not understand why she takes offense at me over these things.

god damn i dont care

question: how many hours have you played your fifteen year old video game?

You'll have to say something of what you were discussing m8, can't comment otherwise.

what're you like lol
live love laugh

would cry too if my child was a software fanboy

then fuck off you absolute cretin

doylestown was founded by brits though

That is how we cope with loneliness

oh deary me

It's utterly divine to watch beautiful women drink piss

why are you playing a computer game in the middle of a workday and living with your mum

Can already tell you said everything in that annoying monotonous way that pisses people off and either were too autistic to be aware of it or do it on purpose because you're a cunt

finish this fag then off to gym

happens to the best of us mate

just agree with her

make her a cup of tea and go up and apologise to her

don't care about your gay sex stories

Purchased it for the first time last week. Have only played it for a few hours. I very rarely play video games these days.
Her mate had got back with her chap who has cheated on her several times, and she said her mate was stupid for going back with him. I agreed and then said that her friend always sees the best in people and thinks that she can change them, I was trying to sound sympathetic but mumberg took offence.

Gay sex before a workout?

It's my house and it's my day off.
Will make her a cup of tea but will most certainly NOT be apologising.

All good until you do it to the wrong guy and you get knocked tf out

they cant stand to see a brotha eat his dinner

14.99 spent on my shopping

over 20c on Thursday

sunberg can FUCK OFF

unless theres been big talks about what happened at Rorke's Drift in 1879 on here, or theres been an uptick in reading objectivist literature, leftymong has some explaining to do

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seems to have been founded by Irish 300 years ago
post your family tree like

20c is hot

fucking poof

never understood freaks like you. how can you not like warm weather? do you like living life as a cadaver?

he's obese

Fat Mons

Convinced the people complaining about the heat are all obese. Genuinely the only time I've ever been close to uncomfortably hot in England is when it was 40 degrees a few years back.

okay then how come youre playing japanese videogames and complaining on your incel forum about your mother who houses and probably feeds you in the middle of a chewsday instead of going up and sorting things out with her?

rorke's drift is when rorke drifted on his nfs bmw m3 around playground scaring the kids away

I’m the opposite of obese I just don’t like it when it’s hot because it means I can’t wear my hood up

20 degrees is not hot

It's my house

fucking hell your proper working class aren't you
shame I'm on a forum with people who live like this

I used to think this as well but then when I look back at school everybody was uncomfortably hot in the summer because there was no air conditioning and a lot of classrooms were south facing. Now I live in a ground floor north facing flat and I didnt even notice the 40c summer back in 2022

I didnt even notice the 40c summer back in 2022

it does help if you leave the house occasionally

boiling my bollocks off

prove it
post your bank statements, address, full name, passport number, wifi password, and IP address

What's the point in being born middle class if you're barely literate?

theres a really strange contrarianism on this website when you tell a story. Its not so much about the facts of the story but how you tell them, and if there is even a hint of the possibility that you may be requesting some reaffirmation that you are right in an argument, theres always a flood of posters who will go ape shit at you and say you were totally wrong when its clearly not the case. Very strange little habits you creatures have, then again this place is populated by indians on VPNs

aye 13 degrees out *hefts up from my chair and waddles over to turn the fan up*

deanda

and mum's chebs

Thats my point, it doesnt.

am I?

It's spaki, diego and the usual wretches trying to make people feel bad because they feel bad about their shit lives. They've been at it all morning.

rorke the type of nigga to get a filet o fish from maccas LOL

It's funny you say this because that argument with mumberg was completely made up for the purpose of getting contrarian (You)s.

can't tell what's real anymore

never had one of these
maybe I will soon

wrong actually, utterly wrong

how do you pronounce filet o fish

When I worked at McD's we were told to pronounce it fil-ay, but I would insist on saying fill-it and got told off by the manager several times kek

Like it's spelled.
No t sound because it's French.

why would anyone even order one

healthy innit

Rorke calling it a fillet of fish