/brit/

just had a filthy wank on employed womans glasses

Slyfall was a good imo
Spectre and no time to die were complete trash

sound a bit poofish lad, how's your arse?

Mads Mikkelsen's character in Casino Royale was so badass.

um………….it’s normal

morning chaps

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you want to come over and play with my white snake?

dossing about on the night shift me, round a nice quiet corner me

where do u work laddy

more like a nice queer corner you
gay little lad you

No risk in the portfolio

The Witch King of Angmar was extremely powerful and he would otherwise be unstoppable if it weren't for that bloody woman.

off to the shops de lids

all day what?

mmh employed woman sex arse

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The atrocities I would commit upon her…

wish I had a sister I'd hug her and kiss her and sleep with her

Unironically this is what I'm thinking for most of the day when I'm at work except it's in relation to actual biological women at my place of employment.

Honest to God I am excited for the UK visit fuck it

its fun
ignore all the doom and gloom you read on the internet the UK is actually an epic place

you shouldn't be, miserable country miserable people

is a cool country
don’t listen to online doom and gloom, i love britain more than most countries ive been to save for italy and japan

wtf how did you make the same post as me here do you wanna have sex?

do you wanna have sex?

...yeah...

Tonight’s the night

Is it possible to become a serial killer in the age of cctv and forensics?

No but there are lots of people who had they been born before the internet would have definitely been serial killers and channel their energies into other stuff

youtu.be/eauZzwt8Ci8?si=RXgmQcq2PINoTmyo

You only know about the ones that have been caught. Are the ones that police have figured out are serial killers. I have a sneaking suspicion that if someone had higher IQ than the police, they could get away with it.

Yeh. If you were going home from work something and just decided to strangle a random fella you stumble across in a secluded area assuming no cameras you'd get away with it

wank sorted

core

doom and gloom

probably not more than a few times though. and without a weapon you'd be rolling the dice on whether you could actually kill them

The zodiac was never caught because he was smarter than the people trying to catch him. Of all of the legacy serial killers he's the one that they'll never catch.

Twitter shows me videos of British "rugby lads" putting one of their friend's dick in their mouth or shoving things inside his butthole AS A JOKE. What causes this behavior?

best thing about skyfall is that spic fella in it

I guess you have to be there in the moment to get it

hm yes, why WOULD you be getting recommended gay porn by social media algorithms, what an enigma

just banter

who hasn't sucked their mates off as a joke? do you have no sense of humor?

for me it's the lad who got kicked out of the navy for cumming on a lad's pillow
youtube.com/watch?v=k1-AF_1RATA

It's not gay porn tho. It's men who seem not gay and are only doing it because they think it's funny. And they are in public grabbing their mate's cock and I be intrigued and end up watching the whole thing

oh look at the baby! look at his whiskers! he's so cuuuuuuuuuuute!

once jerked off in front of my friends back in high school for a joke
we also used to offer each other “gum” and would be holding our balls in our hands

so it’s not gay porn yet it’s extremely homoerotic and yet you feel ‘intrigued’ to watch it fully?
reckon you’re a bit bent

Glinner has doxed and assaulted underaged kids for disagreeing with him on trans issues
He's a far right tinfoil schizo whose wife divorced him and kids don't speak to him because he dedicated his life to trans hate
Last year he wrote over 100 anti-trans tweets on Christmas day alone

Every Hispanic man is a downlow gay, and they make dating apps nearly unusable, by begging white people to fuck them, even someone's dad like this guy was. Why can't we have a dating app for whites only? And I am including Asian and with whites for these purposes. Thank you

el poo

I've also watched reality shows from Norway, Sweden and Denmark like Love Island and guy make out with each other as a joke and the women they're dating don't mind

ah yes of course you're "intrigued", because it's "intriguing" to you
lol

It's not normal to be intrigued by things that happen in other countries that would never happen in yours

that would never happen in yours

maricon que ¿

I want to put my winky in her pinkie.

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*holds you down and sprinkles charcoal into your eye*

I want to put my winky in her stinky

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Built like a Roblox character

Show me evidence of a sports team in my country getting one of their mates naked, spreading his butt, everyone spitting in his ass and then inserting or trying to insert a rod as a joke. You can't because it doesn't happen

having a headache again fuck

You're the one watching these videos. Why don't you show me?

my life is like a videogame and I'm getting ready to level up

Lock in

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rugby is famously very gay

kiss a trans woman on the mouth

why

watching anime with Employed Woman...soft lighting in the room...comfy couch...

not into kissing blokes, best I can do is a tug while I'm fucking him in the arse

Gay
Gay

need to wank

ahhh... good morning

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A fellow hot poo connoisseur I see

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Morning Emmayank

arsemouth

Listening to the filipinos next door argue about keeping the kitchen clean or something.
One of them is

like look at our age we are like your aunties you have to respect us.

The young guy she's complaining to is like

"my mother never taught me to clean so I don't know how to do anything"

Legalise love

Good morning.

my left eye is twitching

pooed on my pet beagle

Screw dire wolves, I want wooly mammoths, wooly rhinos, giant ground sloths and smilodons back.

getting a car sunday, finally escaping buss & train-hell and heading straight into car-hell

cars are shit
i've had one for years, I need it because of where I live and I hate driving, I hate paying for fuel, I hate paying road tax, I hate paying the mechanic when it inevitably breaks

poo

are you getting a volvo

mad how much money i could save if i could just stop drinking, instead i am living paycheque to paycheque because i'm such a weak-willed miserable creitn

having a hard time with undertale, just not very good at moving the little heart thing around

aye, but i do need one
opel, old one at that

screaming

took a nap and that eased my headache a little but it still hurts

shouldn’t you be out fighting a war right now?

stay determined

Is anyone else worried about all the conscription talk in the media? Don't know if it's just fearmongering or what but I'm becoming very nervous.

I'm taking lots of money out of the bank as I can currently as I'm worried the government will freeze the bank accounts of people who resist conscription.

mad how we still live in the reverberations of ww2

based retard

Enjoy, hope you can use it to enjoy the outdoors this summer.

you're dumb if you dont think the russian black bagging men off the street can't come here

the only thing that puts distance between that kind of conflict and us is nukes. but russia has nukes. MAD doesnt prevent it. it doesnt need to be a war on our territory for us to get dragged into the back of a van

i had experience of fagging, now become gay to revenge

Swedes live so cramped for such a big country

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hello darkness my old friend

yeah?

fanny queer

no actually. i was just wanted to say something

bit chilly willy

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russian black bagging men off the street

*Ukrainian

Altnaharra

sounds made up

no rain until monday. genuinely horrifying for scotland

i dont understand why everyone here complains of rain and overcast skies. as if it isn't literally life giving

they go on holiday on sun and heat only to depend on the AC that replicates the cool breeze they all cry about when they step back onto the tarmac at glasgow airport

On 30 December 1995, the UK's lowest recorded temperature −27.2 °C (−17.0 °F) was measured there

The Jews are our misfortune.

fucking yanks at it again

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stay safe out there hayfeverbros

negative degrees in April

Celsius is such utter shit for weather it’s unreal.

cummed on by a plant

Some kids egged my car the other week and I was too lazy to do anything about it because I didn't realise it damages your paint so now my paint is fucked.

yes it's cold hence >bit chilly willy

Any runts in?

shouting the bank is out of money in a crowded bank

You reckon Harvey ever got Emma Watson to do anything scat related?

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Terrible post

Die gingerpedo

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peter theil's inspo for bringing back the dire wolf

I'm not whoever that is
I'm just some anon
But whats funny is, I've known you as Emma Yank for like 8 years now

organisms that exist: cringe

organisms that don't exist: based

Why would they egg your car
is this like a movie from 1995 ffs

are staffys actually dangerous I wanna get one

Very disappointed that this didn’t turn out to be what I thought it was going to be.

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you just can't win

Very disappointed you’re posting from ye phone

I think my headache may be finally gone

What if I punched your head

i got sick a lot less when i was younger and didn't shower... and my hair was thicker

Vaccine status?

2 but it was the 2 parter so really just 1 which doesnt count

woke up by accident at like half 5 and it's been peng in disguise
got up, put laundry on, had some lovely scrambled eggs with coffee, had a nice long shower and now still have another hour to lounge about before toil
why didn't you tell me to wake up sooner

Enjoy being knackered by lunchtime

I’ve eaten too much cake and have a tummy ache :/

same but it's also because we're older and our test has dropped to the floor

the best part of harry potter is that voldemort himself is a muggle mutt

so that stock market hey guys haha!!

Black folx season the theatre

Not sure this is a newsworthy 'achievement' really, seems a bit of a reach.

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voldemort was the first chud

it's not being noted as an achievement. more of a milestone as football moves further into child labour like American football, basketball

going to make bacon and eggs

you need to have had a gf to get a gf

Dumb fucking system

1000å¹´
中国第一

girls used to smile at me more and treat me better when i had a gf

They can smell the fanny juices

get them scrubbed

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demonic entities

bit chilly willies this morning innit

it's 16 degrees

Keyed.

blind cunt

i literally read it with my eyes

bye libtard

All 4 of them i bet
*shoves you over my might who is crouching behind you so you trip*

my might

haha he made a mistake and wrote might instead of mate x

my might

LOOOOOLLLL you made a mistake

Meds. NOW.

based and katagelasticism pilled

too bloody right

Morning mights

How's it morning x

reading from the greatest minds of Britannia

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Calling a mite a might implies they are shifty and unreliable. Its a stereotype and its offensive

quiet. time for some women's willy posting

women's willy

misnamer

morgoth's review?

need to go hiking in the US

Been in my new job for 4 weeks. Just took a Teams call from my manager’s manager’s manager and realised afterwards I had visible garlic mayo stains and crumbs on my t shirt from my tea last night. FUCK SAKE

agreed to help my mate move out of his 5th floor appartment today, backberg crying out at the thought of carrying shit down all those stairs

That's my picture mate never said you could save it

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garlic mayo stains

whatever you say mr spaff

apartment

FOY

Where are my countrymen, in the australian power hour of need

sir mis namer

sleep tomorrow but tonight go crazy all you gotta do is just meet me at the ahhhh pt apt ahhh pt apt

Didn’t even realise it probably looked like that. Great.

? literally took it in my backyard 5 mins ago

shes gone flippin menkul!

I don't get the reputation french food has, I can accept it from like Italy 'cause they make stuff people want, who eats french food? What french food? Even Germany seems superior from my limited experience

Sat down and my left bollock randomly started aching. Hate when that happens

Legalise love between all races, genders and ages. Love is love

croissants are nice

Cheese, wine, and bread>poo barms, congealed sheep’s liver and whatever bubble & squeak is. Sounds like you’re eating dish soap or something.

have a nice day!

poo barm is a lancashire delicacy

I should probably get some sleep. Been up since 11am yesterday, nearly 24 hours. Longest I’ve been awake in years

another day in my wretched life

mad how shit all nighters feel once you get older

thank you deary

just got scammed at a strip club. might kill myself

fizzy yuzu mandarin grapefruit raspberry strawberry limeade

what happened lad

Did he not show his penis?

yeah then after you've got some sleep you can maybe get a clue and a job

Did she invite you back for a lap dance with the implication that she’d suck your dick and then she didn’t suck your dick?

No wonder he became a contrarian, he got shagged up the arse.

got scammed

wish i had ice cream

ARSE TWAT FANNY CUNT MINGE

syncing my ipod

it really isnt on you cant have this woman wiggling her arse about at the bottom of the screen

Only a true A10 aryan male could have created pistachio ice cream

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got the fruit ninja on

Paid a blonde 10/10 girl to let me see her fanny one time

its an ipod classic i dont have fruit ninja

about to drop generational brown

Almost done with toil for the day. Imagine if i were in england, id be starting. Thank fuck my great grandad was a rapist

In a strip club?

yeah

sucking black arsehole

we have less than 1 GP per 1,000 people. Portugal has 3 per 1,000

now you done it Winston

yeah but then you're in portugal

We don't even know how many people are in this country.

The people who arrive on dinghies aren't filling out the census.

NEEED the ex gf back lads

The government fills it out for them moron

imagine the smell under all that rubber

might do some work today, might not

Never felt the warm moistness of a vagina

Haven’t worked in my whole 25 years and not about to start now.

moving to Canada

Nor me lad, nor me. It is what it is.

go on then lad, shag a fanny

He wouldn't even be able to pay for it. You can pay to shag a johnny but not feel the sensation of your bare penis in a vagina. Some things money cannot buy.

throatberg onamadone today

it's not as bad as you think mate, certainly better than what you're doing, living in stasis with no reason to sleep or get up

I’ve never kissed a girls lips or held a girls hand
t. IV

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Bullshit everything can be bought

the future we deserve

It's surprisingly cold.

fella sweet as a sugar plum

GAY

based

dressed well

he must be gay

meanwhile the last has a qt pajeeta gf and you're a chancel

When’s starmer bringing Corbyn in?

look at his face and tell me he isn't gay

never

I’m happy tho and I know I wouldn’t be if I were working

that lad is class, i like nu metal parody too

How do you afford to live without working? Benefits are shit now

SUCK THE DICK DRINK THE PISS

Luckily I don’t need to claim benefits. I get an allowance from my parents and they let me live in their house. I’m alone 90% of the time since they are retired and spend most of their time in their second home abroad.

Get this dm from a coworker mid-meeting

What do you even do about this? Other than shagging him.

So your parents basically pay you to stay away from them so they can enjoy their retirement? Grim

get him pumped

colleague post

fuck off tarq

Is he fit

No, I generally visit them for a month in the summer and a couple of weeks at Christmas and sometimes one or both come and visit me here. They would be happy to have me live with them full time but they live in Normandy in a pretty small village and there’s not much to do. I prefer living in London.
I’m not a Tarq at all my parents are just average boomers and dad did well with his pension and shares from his old company.

The man is married to a woman he has no business talking like this.

Get this woofter reported to HR

Adrian Cieslak be zesty asl

Are YOU a woman?

can sort of understand a man simping and jeopardising his career like this for a woman

Can't do that because of woke, I'm more likely to get sacked.

tfw no cute Polish femboy to flirt with on Slack

I'm a man (male). Gays just seem to gravitate towards me.

Thoughts on anal stretching?

190 doing his bender larp again is he?

wanking off dogs for a packet of crisps

190 is seriously seriously mentally ill

Running to chat gpt to generate him a picture of a polish id

It's not an ID though it's a residency card for foreigners. An ID looks like this. Check your facts.

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quavers, to be precise

feels barmy but it onl 5

Adrian rubbing his todger in the team standup to Polish lad's profile picture

morning dee lads. and i said morning DEE LADS x

I'm not a tarq

lad you live off mummy and daddy's allowance while they live in their villa

idk I guess it's supposed to be super high quality

I stumbled across a french joint and had the best damn burger of my life.
I went back to try something proper French, like a stew, and I mean... it was nice but the portion wasn't enough to fill a 5 year old girl

fighting back against the satanic globalist regime in my rancid evil incel lair smelly childhood bedroom

sick to death of people putting absolute shite in my calendar with 0 background info of what the meeting is about

Have 5 minutes for a quick catch up?

How, exactly?

dont join em me

used to watch seasidemark and tim on YouTube on the telly with the ex gf

migrate