/brit/

Crumpets edition

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Might fucking kill myself
Might not

got the bombay bad boy pot noodles going corr

alri alri alri

Take the L mate he’s done you

oh, there you are anon!

finally got up have you? We’re on holiday why you laying about

im dressed and I’m ready to leave.

I want to go DANCING!

take me dancing anon.

if another girl texted you would you respond?

no i mean any girl

what do you mean if she was a mate how many girl mates do you have

you should only talk to me maybe I’ll text some of my boy mates then

if you’re allowed to do it then why not me I’ll do it now then

I want to enjoy the holiday too but you keep winding me up

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roughly 80 per cent of Australian men and boys are circumcised

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might just give up

i only think a small percentage of the world is ensouled (they’re all white btw) and everyone else is basically an animal who can talk

So record immigration and a flatlining economy. Either immigration isn't the massive economical boon it's always claimed to be or we would be in the largest depression any of us have ever known with this. Wonder how this feeds into those 'economically inactive' figures as well and 16-24 year olds that can't find a job.

screaming

I am white.
I am heterosexual.
I am 6’4”
My parents are wealthy.
I went to Catholic school.
I use racial slurs.
I am homophobic.
I have a boat.
I go fishing.
I bullied liberals in school.
I have a Costco membership.
I use chewing tobacco.

I am the lefts greatest fear.

YEAH BUT IMAGINE IF THE WOMAN IS A 6 YEAR OLD GIRL AND ITS INCESTOUS AND SHE'LL DIE IF SHE HAS TO HAVE THE BABY WHAT ABOUT THEN EH WHAT ABOUT THEN?

kek

sold you down the river there mate

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worcestershire sauce wank on the cards

sucking jam out of my knobend

should buy lube because I get dry skin on my dick but I'm terrified of ordering something like that to my block of flats

I'm terrified of ordering something like that to my block of flats

why, afraid someone might mistake you for a shagger?

Want to end your suffering, do you?
*shoots you in the head*

theres a hecking labour shortage

Who is spaki and why does he dominate /brit/ so much?

I WONT LET THE SUN GO DOWN ON MEEEE
I WONT LET THE SUN GO DOWN

Who has the picture of Norf FC singing?

the freak can't even dress himself

We're only 20 posts into this thread and there have already been 5 independent references to cocks.
Can you knock it off.

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don't think so, there's plenty of labour mps

Fancy a crumpet

Now thatt is mental illness mate.

If Kamala had won then I would have been right but she didn't so I was wrong but for the right reasons

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flinging my infant son off the westgate bridge

I have a Costco membership.

Ever tried the double chunk chocolate cookie?

fuckuing scremgling

President Vladimir Putin has boasted that Russia produces ten times more missiles than all of the Nato countries combined, and threatened an attack on decision-making centres in Kyiv with its new intermediate-range ballistic missile (IRBM) missile.

fucking hell lads

kiss me

It is two weeks to nothing

just so you know i would force my tongue down ur throat if i met you

um

didnt know brian wilsons bumhole was that peng

done 'im

any of you lads done delivery driver jobs before? i imagine it'd be comfy just driving about all day hardly interacting with anyone

You wouldn’t do anything but meekly walk by and mumble a hello

Christmas is coming early
Kiev, Putin has a gift

isnt it summer or something australia? you mean these aussies on here could be out there having bbqs on bondai beach having a wank to the naked volleyball sheilas, but instead CHOOSE to waste their life on here posting absurdist stream-of-consciousness jokey posts about poo and wank to people the other side of the world?

DEARY ME

prolly not worth it

I’m huge mate and I would force you to do what I want with you

Western press is in damage control aa Russia has non nuclear deterrent capabilities that put an end to US tech dominance.

/brit/ yaoi

You would do nothing, because you are a coward

stop posting this shit

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10:46pm la

I’m a huge man and I would physically handle you before I entered you

im so cunty and im serving face

Counterpoint: /brit/ yuri.

love this terrific English island Jabroni Altar if I'm not mistaken

if you put me in a self defense situation i would batter you so badly you’d be seeing double for a week

That is a bit late for naked volleyball

i imagine you have some warped autistic discord tranny "yuri" in mind rather than actual XX chromosome'd female lesbian women

giving savage backshots to diegeos tiny hole til he snaps in half

you would melt like butter if I even looked at you mate. Your bum hole would be shaking.

you will never live in the gilded world of central London, flitting in black cabs between Michelin-starred restaurants, world-class theatre performances, and private Pall Mall clubs

you will never have some of the world's finest museums, libraries, and galleries on your doorstep

you will never earn enough to live in a mansion in Hampstead, Mayfair, or Chelsea

you will never have a country house in the Cotswolds you can spend a weekend at whenever you want

you will never send your children to an elite London private school

you will never rise beyond provinical mediocrity as a section manager at DFS Wanksborough

t. white Londoner

What books does a girl like this read

might poo sitting backwards

tiktok

I could choke you with my pinkie

just watched the fanny chmelar video for the first time and realized half of all bradley walsh images come from that video alone

I can smell the soy on your breath through the screen. Violence is the source of all power. End of story. Everything else is just window dressing for gay philosophy grads to wank themselves off over in between their shifts at McDonalds.

I do like some choking what else would you want to do? I have a virgin arsehole

got the youtube queue on

mate you already admitted your dad is a massive farage supporter
you're so deep into your fake personality that you've convinced yourself that you actually hate farage but you're just doing it to piss off your dad because of the resentment you feel towards him
maybe you should actually confront him about your feelings and not just hide behind this petty layer of angst that you take out on him by pretending to like the exact opposite of everything he does just to try in vain to make him angry
it's not a very good look on you right now

dunno how i ended up as a transphobic homosexual, such is life i suppose

I love anglo and anglo culture. Murdering innocent people is in my genes.

instant classic this

fuck off spaki

It's actually insane the bizarre and niche situations abortion fanatics will come up with just so they can keep killing babies

I haven't used cash in like six years

no it isn't, blanda up is in your genes

the typical white londoner does not live that lifestyle

broke ahh niga

Remember when Spaintwat admitted he got bullied in school because he didn't wipe his crusty arse properly after a shite so we all called him bulliedbumholelad and he spent the next two days trying to damage control over it lol

Air jordans be squeakin' when stepdad finds out how much spaki spent on VPN subscriptions and Anon Babble passes
Nun he cud do LOL

Buenos Dias, Aaron Gonzales Hooper

Cash as in physical currency

Do I HAVE to use LinkedIn in order to find jobs

blanda upp is actually swedish for 'mix it up'

Spaki wheeling around in his stinky bedroom stamping his mong feet over getting done by mousey again

if you have a girlfriend you’re so far advanced beyond the typical /brit/ it’s insane (not if she’s fat tho)

poo poo time

doing quite the poo

So yeah mate basically the west has fallen and that's that really.

Ayo Adam turned into Eve

corr

from 8/10 chad to 4/10 femcel
fucking retard

quite the poo indeed

screeching
it's so true though

observing and hearing things and storing them in my head

Back in my day we called them flowers and gardeners

loool this is facts

That time when the government admitted all GDP growth since 2008 has simply been due to immigrants existing in the country and causing money to move

Mother, 8-year-old son die in rollover crash where child was ejected from vehicle

shut up u egg and get out of cowells hole. Won't tell u again.

Farage starts off his press conference talking about how great Zia Yusuf is

Andrea Jenkyns joins Reform and immediately starts talking about how great Zia Yusuf is

All so tiresome
They're desperately trying to make him a thing
How do people take this party seriously

How do people find jobs

live in your weird fetish

search for a partner

they must NOT share your weird fetish

somehow this is normal and should be encouraged

does that mean u dont care about reaching out or

do you have these slogans in a text file somewhere on your pc or something

Unc's shit himself again

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at the job market

#PornKillsLove

from having private conversations with the president of france to This

OOF

the fuck is a chaser and egg?

you will never have a country house in the Cotswolds you can spend a weekend at whenever you want

If you actually had the money for all the other things, why the fuck wouldn't you just stay in the Cotswolds permanently?

mmm yes *breathes in* the smell of piss and kebabs

mmm lovely, I'm the only white person in a 5 mile radius

yes yes, mmm, car horns and """ethnic""" music assaulting my ears

london... home

autistic internet tranny nonsense don't worry about it

Remember once when I worked at co op during uni I bought some condoms just so people would think I was getting laid

whats hapening here then

Such a pointless webm, surprised a computer powerful enough could be found in Liverpool to create it

jesus christ, youtube is using 3gb of ram

Would you shag it for 50 quid

First time in here, all I gotta say is this thread is gay as fuck
I'm out

"anti immigration"

pro muslim

We'll be wishing for the days when we only had 700,000 people coming here every year

a chaser is what you drink after a shot
an egg is a rotund babyholder that comes out of a hen.

It's 12pm on a workday mate, calm down.

imagine the fucking smell of decaying sweat from under those fucking udders

does oral count?

no i wouldnt pay that much

too big

hate my boring shit warehouse job

i'm a homeless american and i have nothing to eat this thanksgiving
no, not really, but you get the point yeah?

mbappe is trying to discuss attacking movement with bellingham who blanks him and chats with rudiger and ascensio. mbappe backs off to the wall while the rest us huddled. finally before walking onto the pitch mbappe puts his hand on his hips, a sign of irritation(at being blanked). all is not well at "friendship fc"

oh my days why are americans like this

mcrappe

I'm an arsenal fan

watch out, the weather channel is armed

I put a bit too much sausage in that sambo. Mixed feelins about it

nth for the holodem

pigeonbergs cooing outside
gonna give them some unsalted peanuts and seeds

stop posting these nonce dogwhistles mate

why are we all psyopped into thinking mbappe is good though

faggot shit

anyone have that mp4

racebait spam gets no attention

anime child porn spam gets no attention

starts blogposting on sacked tranny trip and having convos with himself

gets sent flying

spainlad incel larp

gets sent flying

starts spamming tranny porn

spams his gay ritualposting edition

starts melting down about transphobes on twitter

gets caught blatantly samefagging

gets sent flying

just another day in the life of spaki

damn must suck to be in ukraine and that

sitting backwards and pooing

keep posting the holodem mate :)

drew peacock

this bloke thinks if you don't pretend he's a real woman that you are literally a nazi and should go to jail

Went to the doctor and she was a fittie. Might swallow some bleach just to go back.

nonce dogwhistles

gaaay

of course my lad x

mad how peng gay porn poo

admiral poo

was just saying this down the pub

seen this fucking post before mate

Lovely gyal my lad x

charli xgaysex

got my bum in the air

life without toil

Pointless, every day is the same, you are limited in funds so you can't just literally whatever you want

life with toil

You spend most of your free time with other people who you may not get on with and it's neverending, there is no other alternative

I was speaking some of these posts verbatim down at my local bar

Mad how many men ruin their lives by becoming schizo Rorke nutters lmao, middle aged (and onwards) blokes are seriously retarded

Graham Linehan

Russell Brand

Lawrence Fox

John Cleese

Eamonn Holmes

Anyone else?

I barely speak to people at toil maybe 2 or 3 meetings a week other than that it's just team messages

Self employment toil

your dad

Who is Rorke?

How have they ruined their lives? Because some incel strangers who worship war criminals and paedophiles don't like them anymore?

Lads if you want a comfy winter treat cut up 4 pieces of terry's chocolate orange and melt it into 250ml of milk

Makes an absolutely BUSSIN hot chocolate

hairline? receding
waistline? expanding

Got a cheeky pot noodle on the go x

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You reckon Graham Linehan and JK Rowling were bitten by the same tick that causes your brain to malfunction and obsess over trannys?

Worst of both worlds

It's not winter here, so I shan't be doing that any time SOON.

not bombay bad boy

lol what a fag

i reckon they're just saying what most people are thinking

You never cease to surprise me, you know that Spainnonce?

No work

No money

No house

No wife

No kids

No sex

JK Rowling doesn't even want to be seen interacting with you when you're the only other prominent figure in the anti-trans movement

Yes but his life hasn't been ruined lol

/brit/ stands with Bashar al-Assad, the Syrian Arab Republic, the Communist Party of the Russian Federation and the Korean Workers Party.

currently sitting down me

xx

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how so ? you get freedom and good money

why don't you stand with the communist parties of all countries

those immigration numbers sure are grim

Gonna do this later lad ty x

The line, rorke. The line. It simply must go up. And it shall.

would love to do this me

jeffreey

Just the one shitposter actually

how do i melt something into milk

So Gregg Wallace is a nonce eh?

shit in it

a groper + rapist

Put the milk into a pan over a hob on low heat
Add the chopped chocolate
Stir until incorporated

I just got a video recommended to me where the troon with a manly frame who you guys spam explains how to get wider hips
you guys ruined my whole week

oh right ok

We do.

trump's daughter is kinda cute

where the troon with a manly frame

that doesnt do much to narrow it down mate

pretty sure Terry's already do their own version of hot chocolate

I actually hope a wog nicks your wallet.

well that's what you should say next time

*drug joke* am I right loool

oh wait it's his granddaughter

You're off your head

Sounds like nothing

came under fire after "inappropriate sexual comments" were reportedly made to a female BBC staffer on Impossible Celebrities

He was also accused of being rude and insulting to women on a third show in 2023.

mfw i pretend i dont know what foreigners are trying to ask me
lol

Might splurge on some big juicy anime titties later

his youtube channel is called ICKY
I would've just hid the video if it was an unknown troon but the fact that some of you posted him naked, caused me to feel an inhuman amount of cringe when I saw that video

Look at catbergington
Look at him go

yes i knew you were mistakenly referring to the underage girl nonce

Now that Syria is back in the news, I wonder if we can now finally dispel the myth that nazis supported Assad.

The real alliance of fascism is NATO-ISIS-EU-Azov-Israel-Taiwan.

Might give therapy a go, see if that helps things at all

Is that real?

*makes a subtle reference to drugs then smirks with a "yeah you know what I'm talking about" face*

For me its a big fat bag of kush

DOOOOOOOOOOOD
drugs!!!!!!
LOVE DESTROYING MY BODY AND WHILE EMPYING MY WALLET ME!!!!!
not addicted can quit anytime xo

get the cache cleared

she's not underage in the UK and 39 US states

900k net in a single year

all under the allegedly anti-immigration Conservatives

all (still) against the wishes of the people

It'll end in tears, cannot foresee a world where it doesn't

Put my mortgage on that she'll get breast implants just like Ivanka

theres always one yankified zoomer mong on here that thinks the age of consent in Britain is 18 and not 16

rorke's da

wg1

why is it that when men get older, their waistbands get higher?

New gimmick coming through. It's that I live in Devon and blogpost about my exploits in Devon

Covers the gunt

Wait is it not 15? FUCK

i was reading the article but got bored is it legal migration? if it doesnt count illegal then that is mega super duper chucky sneed grim and it is over
look at canada, they took over a millie and they've been utterly pooified

Many cliffs to jump off in Devon?

Govers the cunt

You know Beth?

how much alcohol and fast food do you consume each week out of interest

Going for 16 when you're over 20 is giga-noncey regardless. Imagine just finishing your shift at toil and having to go pick up your missus from Year 11 Maths. Gives me the fear that people actually do these.

overflowing with British culture like a fresh gregg's steak bake, this

the figures do not include the additional 60k illegal immigrants who ended up being granted asylum

The biggest, baddest, juggy bunny.

Plenty

Which one?

i dont drink and the last time i ordered food was 9th of nov (checked me goymail i did yes sir)

charlize has massively fallen off since this, she does random cooking videos now for no apparent reason

You know a lot of people just have sex and there is no relationship being built there right?

Beth uh... Beth Wright, you know Beth Wright?

Plenty

You shouldn't have any trouble finding one then

why is every generation getting unfunnier? 20 years ago it was just funny cat videos and now its just weird autistic depressing "memes" and tiktoks about the housing market

look at canada, they took over a millie

Mad how they went from Iceland-tier to Brazil-tier in barely 5 years because their PM fell for the industrious poo meme

proto gf said recycling plastic bags gives her the ick

idk but let us look at the immigration numbers

with a cheeky gob to boot x

why did i find videos of cats funny when I was a literal child

idk

All due respect, you got no fuckin' idea what it's like to be Number 859. Every decision you make doesn't affect every facet of every other fuckin' thing. It's not much to deal with at all.

odds pancakes
evens french toast

I didnt say that are you autistic?

I am from Glasgow.
Don't ask me how it is.

Rest in peace sweat princess

That's my girl x

How it is in Glasgow?

ffs zero is nowt im going to go hungry

whats it like living in this country

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member when the media tried to convice people exercise was nazism
i member

It has begun.

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Me on the left and right (i'm mixed race)

Net migration to the UK hit record 900,000 in 2023

Nietzschean and Aristocratic.

did you hear they're remaking the original star wars with timothee chalamet as luke and sean bean as obi-wan

scotnats were fucking insufferable in the 2010s im glad they've all disappeared

No haven't heard that and don't care as I'm not a virgin into Star Trek so blog on

im glad they've all disappeared

Ah yes liberalism, very Nietzschean

Yes? Yes thats what I said

New

I'm 28 and my bf is 24