'spoons all day brunch edition
/brit/
tfw no qt Indian gf who wants to celebrate Diwali with her white bf
I have had this before
Can whiteboys be roadmen too or is it an exclusively black thing?
Girl, 17, mauled to death by PIGS after being left to feed beasts who knocked her out and pounced in bloody frenzy
Yeah that's basically what chavs are.
corr little bratty tart in a miniskirt at a posh cathedral event
*clip round earhole*
spit that gum out and sing this song about jesus or you're not getting piped tonight
oh that's not good at all
Kin ell I'd love that
white roadmen do exist
Based Kemi whupping lil’ Keir’s pale ass up and down and the palace of westminster omds
What's pig's an ethnic slur for then? Finns?
Factoid:
Winston Churchill was half a Yank and his ma married a man 16 days older than him
His stepdad was 16 days older than him
Imagine that
Didn't realise it was Wednesday already
whats the difference between a black chav and a white roadman
bet they had a fair bit of lad banter, his stepdad could say "i fucked your mum" and there was no way for winston to respond without sounding mad
probably why he became such a warmongering prat later in life
a girl had the same last name as me and out of nowhere I said it's like we're already married and she actually loved it
anyways we're meeting up for a meal later and I'm shitting myself with how surreal it is, wtf lads
Imagine dragging her round as she's having a strop looking like some prostitute's apprentice in her big hoop earrings and all the well to do folk staring and muttering.
Watching episodes of the 90s Outer Limits TV show. Very comfy, especially as almost all of the actors and extras are white.
You watch PMQs in Brazil? :/
Aside from skin colour, not much, they're both vile and among the worst dregs of British society. Get them all rounded up and shot.
Wow, finally a post in my area of expertise!
I'm actually a white roadman - ask me anything
Edit: Wow this post really blew up! I'm considering starting a separate AMA post since there's soo much interest in my culture
that new yank standup on netflix was pretty funny can't remember the name
get amongst it lad
she had another husband after that who was 3 years younger than winston
chavs and roamen are distinct
chavs are basically just uncultured violent retards
roadmen is basically a "subculture" where they dress a certain way, speak a certain way and listen to grime and drill and shit (they're also retarded)
Dating your sister, bit rum
stuff like this doesn't happen to incels like you where did you meet her then
get in lad
just like in real life, /brit/ has gradually transformed in to a paki/indian shit hole. Don't bother responding with the usual epic aloof larp post about rorke or whatever, you are all very clearly insufferable london niggers on here.
how'd she bloody manage that
women find anything small cute except when it's a bloke or a willy. it's not fucking fair
I'm English and I live in Sussex by the Sea (not gay).
rorke are you on giffgaff or something mate?
they're sniffing after her dowager money
went for hot chilli powder rather than regular chilli powder in my chilli and my mouth is on fire
how do you know this
don't get this budding gimmik of yours
they openly laugh at my height and willy
A German court upheld the citizens' right to fart in public after a man was fined for farting in the presence of a police officer.
good on him
heathermongs been a bit quiet lately. reckon he's bipolar or something and has manic phases?
couldn't possibly comment (yes most definiteley)
for me, its cayenne pepper.
He’s been spamming his cuck gimmick all morning
has he? ive not noticed it.
unless you're referring to the belgian flag. in which case I can only criticise you for not filtering that flag months ago like i did
Fuck I'd love it, share a joint during intermission making no effort to distance ourselves from the other smokers. I'd go in white tie and tell her to "dress up" knowing full well she'd dress like a whore. I'd start beef with the rich people looking, but goad her into shouting at some old rich man
i don’t filter i prefer mocking freaks relentlessly
weird because you accused me of being heathermong just last night
Im a white roadman
Mans on road
I know it's obvious to some but it does shock me that a pint in London might be 2-3x more expensive than elsewhere
two to three times more
ask yourself if the London premium is worth it
getting black ops 1 commentaryless gameplay from 13 years ago recommended to me nonstop
It's on TV here, 8:30-10 every Wednesday
youtube.com
30 seconds in and they're already talking about pumpkin spice lattes
I prefer giving them exactly what they want
great stuff
not sure how you've concluded it was me
chilli powder
cayenne pepper
Neither are the correct ingredients for a chilli.
I think unless youhave a super high paying job you probably don't end up better off in donedon
eating gay prawn toast
that's bollocks yeah they're more expensive but not 2-3x as much unless you go to a stadium
i want to impregnate the girl from that minecraft movie
not sure how you've concluded it was me
because only one weirdo in here goes on about 'heathermong' all day and that's you
woke mongolian beef for a late night snack
get the asian earwax posted heatherlad
chili pepper based ingredients aren't correct ingredients for a chilli
ok
that was my first post about him. i think you should take your meds mate. an extra big dose
you can get <£3 pints in bumfuck north and >£7 pints in London
Yup. Chilli is made with dried chillis - poblanos, serranos, chipotles.
Not 'chilli powder' that contains cumin and garlic, and not cayenne pepper.
Bet you put tomatoes in it as well didn't you.
the floor in my room broke, now all my closets are tilted to the side
Boy in my son's class regularly wears dresses. Mother seems like a right cunt in the WhatsApp group chat as well. Poor kid, literally fucked before his life has even really begun
toil rejected my holiday request that I put in three weeks ago because she says the shifts for the day i want have been done now well they weren't fucking done when i requested the holiday you stupid cunt
he's a shift toiler
runt lmao
unlucky x
call them a dickhead repeatedly until they change it
saars
lol
so...wet blended chillies instead of dried blended chillies. got you.
why do mother always insist that their children have to be a certain way?
'chilli powder' that contains cumin and garlic
drinking a protein shake
might fart it out later
Can't wait for this country to fucking implode. Welfare payments through the roof, interest payments on debt skyrocketing. Businesses taxed to death.
Something serious is gonna have to happen and the markets are going to force labours hand before too long. Can't wait
have finished me lovely maccas lads
it was so incredibly nice holy SHIT!
maccas when uv been dieting is the absolute boy, it's the man
i can't eat another one for a month now though. that's if i even have one then
big tasty on til end of the year so i porbs will cos i love em so much
now going to have a nice lay down with some peep show
doing a poo lads. thought you would want to know.
Three weeks ago not long enough mate need 3 years notice at any respectable job. Get a clue
imagine sending your kids to the goy factory to be mindzogged (school) couldnt be me
the markets also pushed rushed vaccines on us so they can go swivel on my finger
goy factory to be mindzogged
Yeah most supermarket 'chilli powder' is a blend with other spices, not just pure chilli.
Product Description
Hot chilli powder - a blend of chillies, cumin, garlic and oregano.
tesco.com
Ready made spice blends are basically for people who can't cook and have no discerning palate.
couldnt be me
Yeah you'd need a woman to open her fanny hole for you first so you could have a kid
Couldn't be you
Imagine having kids at home when you could be out and about windowshopping or getting zooted on the couch watching my kitchen rules. Get a life
he became such a warmongering prat
WW2 was started by Hitler, not by Churchill
what the fuck are people signed off for these days? even if you can't get out of bed you can wear a headset and take calls. the bennies system is a joke
ok thanks chilli nazi
Got a stutter and a lisp I do, shan't be doing any customer facing work
i feel bad for our canada bros
everyone's looking after their senile nan full time because the care home costs more than their salary
I smell of fish mate I didn't ask to be born did I
British people still cooking like it's the 1970s and authentic ingredients were hard or impossible to come by.
F
it do be like dat
big black man
grim
Fucking hell my manager is totally clueless and I think his manager is finally noticing.
yeah this is the glaring flaw in the gibs mindset, especially with the post covid WFH gimmick
any decent person who suddenly finds themselves disabled resents the idea of becoming a burden. they want to do whatever they can to retain some independence
people on bennies just dont WANT to work. simple as. we could invest in helping them find the right jobs, the right infrastructure, even subsidising and so on, but instead we just give them the bennies for nothing
only a tiny tiny proportion of people are fully unable to work
Us in a mere two years
god I wish I were her so I could scran all that
So she used her pregnancy as an excuse to eat like a fucking bear coming out of hibernation
Nice
Do britoids really call chocolate pillows chocolate shreddies? In shock
odds i wank
evens i shag a prozzer
British working class will eat like this every day then wonder why their so stupid and moody all the time.
nth for the baddiedem
People who are allowed to claim bennies for not working:
paraplegics
sub60 iq non verbal retards
completely blind
that's it. everyone else get in the mines
Yeah think babies require zero vitamins or minerals or else you miscarriage
To be fair pregnant women are basically eating for a bear that's about to come out of hibernation (baby bout to pop out the fanny) so you're not wrong there lad
I forgot to guess on this Britain guess and then i got this on the last and just managed to win
*they're
Shreddies is a nestle brand name
keep being sacked for misconduct cause I'm a bully target and react to violently for HRberg
I get anxious sometimes you can't force an anxious man to work it's not right
chocolate pillows
what the fuck
Lucknow has a population of 4 million
At the end of time, billions of people were scattered on a great plain before God’s throne. Some groups near the front talked heatedly – not with cringing shame, but with belligerence.
“Can God judge us? How can he know about suffering?” snapped a pert brunette. She ripped open a sleeve to reveal a tattooed number from a Nazi concentration camp. “We endured terror…beatings…torture..death!”
In another group a Negro lowered his collar. “What about this?” he demanded, showing an ugly rope burn. “Lynched..for no crime but being black!!
In another crowd, a pregnant schoolgirl with sullen eyes. “Why should I suffer?”, she murmured, “It wasn’t my fault.”
Each of these groups sent forth their leader, chosen because he had suffered most. A Jew, a Negro, a person form Hiroshima, a horribly deformed arthritic, a thalidomide child. In the centre of the plain they consulted with each other. At last they were ready to present their case.
Before God could be qualified to be their judge, he must endure what they had endured. Their decision was that God should be sentenced to live one earth – as a man!
“Let him be born a Jew. Let the legitimacy of his birth be doubted. Give him a work so difficult that even his family will think him out of his mind when he tries to do it. Let him be betrayed by his closest friends. Let him face false charges, be tried by a prejudiced jury and convicted by a cowardly judge. Let him be tortured.
“At the last, let him see what it means to be terribly alone. Then let him die. Let him die so that there can be no doubt that he died. Let there be a great host of witnesses to verify it.
“As each leader announced his portion of the sentence, loud murmurs of approval went up from the throng of people assembled.
“And when the last had finished pronouncing sentence, there was a long silence. No one uttered another word. No-one moved. For suddenly all knew that God had already served his sentence.”
this is a meme they need a few hundred calories extra per day, tops
bros eating flavoured bedding LMAO
Why so many doctors?
more of a Misfortunelater man myself
WFH, flexible hours, not customer facing. simple.
God didn't go through that, Jesus did.
would genuinely murder my gf for her
most informed atheist
he lived the life of a white cisgender male in the postwokeism troonpilled clownworld we currently suffer through
Who here drinks that Logan Paul drink Prime?
i work min wage
work the lowest amount of hours i possibly can to survive and have some money left over
i will not do more than i need to
i will not work more hours/take bonus pay just for it to all be taxed away
i will not.
I'm not an athirst, I just don't think it makes a difference whether there is a God or not
I personally hope so but at the end of the day whatever is is
VERY good goy
it's all a scam I got a pay rise into the next tax bracket and started to earn less cos they then took half my pay
ignoring the in(s)anity of this reply, if you weren't an atheist you should know the whole point is that jesus was the same god as the "father" god
GOD I FUCKING HATE ESTONIA AND LATVIA
lads when you're shagging a girl do you put the balls in as well?
You call me insane then come out with this drivel. Shut the fuck up
they're supposed to go in her arse
abdul and precious "jesus" christ nagagaugu thank you for your contribution
making an arrangement
Bang on
reckon Christ suffered the pain of all humanity throughout time on the cross, the cross is such a powerful image. I'm humbled every time it crosses my eyes
both? mine are pretty big
soogs is too powerful
believing jesus (a white man) when he says he's a prophet
not believing mohammed (a brown man) when he says he's a prophet
bit racist deegs
most intelligent atheist
*straps myself in to /brit/*
I made an image in Stable Diffusion.
he say he's a prophet
fUCK
oFF
mUSLiIM
religion
blog on you insufferable boring bastard
i just had seeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeex
and it felt so good
Single-handedly made me wish death upon all religious folk, congratulations. What a crock of shit, you all deserve to be put in labour camps
ktinm (kek this is never me)
*looks down at my uncut 7 inch penis*
yes all is good
most moral atheist
How is this even possible? Adrenochrome?
think i may have given myself brain damage from all these opioids, everything seems like it's moving and still images of people look like they're alive
Giving up alcohol.
youtube.com
mwad that romans couldn't be arsed to make arabs white
yeah sorry we're not eating five star gourmet and caviar
mong
Nothing moral about telling kids that they'll burn for eternity if they don't suck up to government
I bet you're vaxxed
If you want a picture of the future, imagine an arse pooing on a human face— forever.
ChatGPT, write a troll post for me that will annoy a Christian on an online forum. I will paste their replies here, please continue the dialogue as if you were the troll replying to him. Please write in relatively informal British English.
no way, one or both of these are shopped
chatgpt
get me a girlfriend with a penis
least deluded atheist
just got back from the vets, 215 quid for a blood test
that's christmas finished
Most creative theist
chatgpt how do i make people like me and preferably make one of them (female) become my wife
Oorioite me awd muckas, oi reckun thut there ain't no God alroight? So fack off
there is something off putting about vtubers and their voices
why do they always sound retarded/like children
is your mum ok though?
good post, a post has no creativity in themselves it all comes from god
bit overkill this
Don't understand watching big vtubers that are part of agencies like hololive and phase connect
Just seems gay, like following celebrity news but cartoons
TheBrighton i360 is heading into administration and could be torn down if a buyer cannot be found. Court filings from Brighton i360 Ltd confirmed that the owners of the towering seafront landmark would be filing for insolvency – still owing the council £51million council debts with it.
Biggest waste of money they could've spent that on the arches or kept the wheel
never tried it
Think I've seen that Mr beast chocolate at the servo once and never again
mr beast chocolate
Fake mental illness and get paid more than the minimum wage... Jackpot!
dont need the heating on when i could just have a spicy noodle soup instead.
they've still got a bunch of mr beast shit at my local big w
NEET seething about NEETs who get paid more than him
Lmfao
extra money for adhd
why though
The idea of trying it is funny but it's not funny enough to actually go through with it when the opportunity arises
ARE YOU HANGING UP YOUR STOCKING ON THE WALL?
N
listen to baelz and come back to me. and as for the ones that put on voices, well they're roleplaying. voice acting is a talent
bigger reach, collabs, and general accessibility. in the weebs games I play I was exposed to hololive. when I played Master Duel I was exposed to Rosemi in Nijisanji. for my Anon Babble game I'm exposed to this one 3view tuber who streams the game
I got more interested in hololive as a whole with their big ENreco Minecraft roleplay that lasted for like a week
before I'd just watch kiara and bijou from time to time
why is every single council run by incompetent retards
is this socially acceptable in your scheme
anything is acceptable when you're that handsome
also in gura's case I was feeling like crap one night and played this in bed
youtube.com
and my heart melted x
I wouldn't feel that from any old indietuber
don't know what to get catberg for christmas
eh?
donate him to the local chinky restaurant
cattie getting stiffie HUH
*walks up to local kebab shop*
get i get uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh one child meat kebab pls
hit or miss
Friendly reminder that anime is for nonces.
wonder if that lad won the euromillions
Friendly reminder that nonces are for anime.
munch munch munch
got arse covid again
friendly reminder Anon Babble is an anime website
Went on an awful losing streak, lost my mind.
And then i guessed Bermuda, almost exactly.
Basically i saw a bunch of taxis congested and a "Leamington Lane" and just went for it.
It was a vital moment too. Nearly lost but clinched it with a few good ones.
this has been debunked.
sir poo barmer shot down that 2 million signature petition immediately kek
Genuinely think that the only reason someone winds up on Anon Babble, particularly one of the lesser known boards like Anon Babble, is due to experiencing some kind of severe trauma in childhood.
I respectfully disagree
for I(me) it was
Anon Babble > Anon Babble > Anon Babble > Anon Babble+various other boards.
i disrespectfully agree
bloody hell 17c today.
n
im not in glasgow
was fucking 35 earlier today
really
jimmy wales keeps emailing me
doing a read
gif
fuck off
Mousey!
tranny
m
fuck off
was meant for tranny
this is why i only watch my niche gfur 20 viewer average lewd tuber
wiping my arse with my own face
sauce?
zesty ahh
Nah got introduced to Anon Babble when I was like 7 or 8 because the older kids I liked were into it. I go on int because it's novel seeing the flags and seeing where people post from
that's a god damn child
swinging a cat
he is from glasgow too?
yeah mate someone can give you his address too if you like
Hello
Would fucking love it to be 5 degrees, its 15 right now and I'm sweating
what a bute xo
nigga thinks he's adele
reading about bizarre minor middle eastern abrahamic religions
interesting stuff really
final form of the english rose
Doubt it, you're probably just a contrarian poof who thinks obscurity is a virtue
can't be asked with you lot sometimes
fav bradley walsh song?
just degloved handberg
Come Poo With Me
ah yes there's nothing interesting or enlightening about learning about minor relatives to the major world religions which have shaped civilization. im the contrarian retard, not you
youtube.com
/cum/ atm
can't be asked what?
whats the last book you lads read?
can't be asked
*heavy snoring*
NOOOOO YOU HAVE TO BE .LIKE US NORMIES YOU HAVE TO LIKE ANIME AND STUFF AND WATCH THE SOPRANOS AND THE SIMPSONS AND NORMIE APPROVED SLOP HISTORY LIKE CLASSICAL ROME
*puts your hand in a glass of warm water*
HEY LOOK, ANON'S PISSED HIMSELF!
Im drawn to non popular things because i understand most popular things are simply popular for being popular and not good.
I bet you love minor relatives you sicko
answer the phone
else daddy will have to take drastic measures
did the ancient paki have an imaginary friend
ooh how interesting
shaped civilisation, did it?
fascinating
omds
Im drawn to non popular things because i understand most popular things are simply popular for being popular and not good.
Love me obscure shite too but also love love LOVE playing devils advocate and thinking in different perspectives me
While I think the "British food bad" meme is overblown, it's undeniable that the average mongo on the street eats like utter shit - and there's really no excuse for it since we have some of the lowest food prices in Europe
as an elevated athiest it is really funny to me seeing this people still bicker about their false prophets... heh...
would genuinely rather have a kid tell me his top 50 favourite pokemon than sit through a single mind-numbingly monologue from a specimen who uses the word "abrahamic"
ok
Say that on Friday when we have our weekly religious debate. You will be outsmarted
mine is metagross :)
Bet you'd love for kids to talk to you you sicko
more like outsharted lol
Roserade
as an elevated athiest
no such thing
You are üntermenschen
I've seen plenty of them, athiests aren't usually the type to take the stairs instead
right, i think i'll hoover the stairs
did the hook-nosed brown man write down a load of fanfiction? and was it a really really long time ago?
oh ho ho, what fun
what an excellent use of our time
carpeted stairs
look at me using fancy German words for concepts that don't exist in other languages ooh la la
Der ewige Midwit
there's no umlaut in untermensch mr. enlightened one
hmm
you lack the whitest of traits, curiosity
you are spiritually if not literally brown
guess I'd better write a book so your ancestors can find it in 1000 years and be as fucking boring as you are
any wow classic gamers in
Means something ITT is going to fall down stairs soon. Careful, lads
Mental to think I could go right now and hire a prostitute born in 2006 to slob on my knob.
so your ancestors can find it in 1000 years
True, couldn't give a rats ass about what sandman on the other side of the planet thought lived in the sky 5000 years ago. Must be nice being impressed by every new sliver of information that passes through your neurons
played it a couple months after it first came out and got a warlock to 40 before calling it. was pretty casual, but had fun. would probably play again if i had an income to support a subscription
howling at AI artists on twitter getting annoyed when their art gets reposted without being credited for it
"dude wtf...credit your artists....I worked really hard on that prompt on midjourney!"
post an example
This never happened outside your little head.
love it when /brit/ is straight on the button like this
got that runt pinned under a glass
meltie
rolling on the floor wheezing as I remember that there are men unironically being "stepfathers"
To be fair the art of promptmaking is only going to become more and more relevant as more and more industries interweave AI into their daily operations.
and you're here being what?
raising another man's child is more cucked than the wanking in the corner as your wife is plowed by a black guy or whatever
god dammit why is it always just almost time for the new whenever i come here with an idea to post
God doesn't exist
i'm not the stepdad
i'm the dad that stepped up
I love Joseph and his wife's son Jesus
I'm not the stepladder
I'm the lad that stepped up... the steplad...der
Stressing out bevause I’ll need to call the shop because it’s been 1hr45 and my order hasn’t arrived why don’t they have live chat ffs!!!!
spoken like a true porn addict.
no child deserves to grow up without a father.
I'm ordering an Australian to make a new thread as payment for being allowed to post in /brit/
so are you the cuck or were you raised by one
just take a deep breath
i'm not a stepdad
i am a deadbeat father
and i masturbate to cartoons
neither
Normal fiat 500 girl diet tbqh
Just ate the biggest bowl of crunchy nut you’ve ever seen in your life now I feel sick
good goy
hate jagex so much
CREATE A NEW FUCKING THREAD
I'M NOT ALLOWED TO DO SO
Fagex
got a crunchy nut for you right here
*places my hairy bollocks in your mouth*
*grabs hold of your head*
*firmly knees the bottom of your jaw sending your teeth clashing together, my bollocks reduced to little more than an amorphous blob of viscera, blood and spongy bits flying out in all directions*
new
based