/brit/

didn't say one step, but as they say a journey of 1000 miles begins with one step
nice strawman argument m8, get rekt by facts and logic virgin

hi lads just woke up lol x3

gallica is so hot bros

Go back to sleep.

your mum's a great burning c

I'll be up all morning 11pm rn

youtube.com/watch?v=Y4ADFj01-0Q

i've met peter gabriel, hell i AM peter gabriel

woke up at 3AM and can't fall asleep again. Guarantee come 9 I'm going to be fucking shattered because I only got like 4 hours last night.

Euphausia Etoreika is the best girl. And if you disagree, you're retarded.

get a few lines of coke down ya, she'll be right

anal is basically shagging poo

a poo shagger will shag anything

I would've believed the first bit but you took it too far
flew too close to the sun

knowing me, anonymous, knowing you, anonymous
ah ha

blackberry
quite a good film

we don't need you to believe me
we don't need no thought control
hey! paki! leave those girls alone!
haha that's one of my songs remember?

HITLER WAS AJEW

yeah good canadian movie there eh

sucking jam out of my knobend

HITLERRRR WAS A SENSITIVE MAN
HITLERRRRRR WAS A SENSITIVE MAN

Anyone tried these? Got a couple of packs in my latest big tesco shop

indeed lad

too spicy

Dead men don’t rape.

you reckon poland or india will host an olympics first

Father of missing Hawaii woman found dead in apparent suicide in Los Angeles, LAPD says

hitler was... LE FUHRER

badolf bitler was bad.

hitler fahrt
wat nou

i reckon india should have it, it's important to their fragile collective ego, we don't want them chimping out and launching nuclear poo all over the place

might learn french and then go hang out in /fr/, wonder what they get up to there
guaranteed to be free of yanks because of the language barrier, probably a few leafs though i would imagine

oh shit just realised I haven't showered today

I eat phal curries for breakfast
I put ghost reaper chili flakes in my beans on toast
I drink encona habanero hot pepper sauce straight from the bottle
don't worry about me

it's <10 schizos, fr

I LOVE POSTING BRADLEY

It's alright, I haven't showered in several days.

used to know a french canadian and he said they all hate the french ahaaha

So?

Give Emma Watson poo and fart gf.

just ordered tirzepatide (mounjaro)

bloody hell that pain au chocolat has gone right through me

really an eye-opener when the most sane and coherent yank in this general is the one who constantly spams about wanting to eat emma watson's shit

just checked it out and there are 3 yank posts and 0 australians, too bad for you

bet you couldn't handle a glass of milk

is that similar to ozempic? you using it for weight loss?

rorke will NOT like this

youtube.com/watch?v=iZwykQK9aZo

yeah? i bet those yanks don't even speak french and are just barging in to ask them inane questions just like every american abroad stereotype ever

presented without comment

Give it a rest you boring cunt

c'est la vie, oui oui?

I've got litres of the stuff
I'm rubbing it into my eyeballs as I type this

But its not is it because you clean it out beforehand
The whole point of the prep is to make it clean

...oui

Gentleman, I have beat my willard so hard and so often that I am starting to lose sexual feeling.

i've literally never once met an amerimutt who just had 2 normal married working parents and maybe a brother and a sister or something

it's always some fucking bizarre mutant family situation

my step step aunt from my dad's half sister's third marriage

*french accent*
zere iz a gaynezz tearing at my zoul

french canada was basically abandoned to the british and did not experience the french revolution
culturally and historically they're as separated as brits and yanks

Bit too yellow. Need it to be a golden amber color.

t. thinks getting shit all over his cock somehow makes him hip

yeah

See
The prep makes it clean
Youre talking about something you dont even know anything about

for me it's the rufus (from bill and teds excellent adventure) action figure

western australia could have been their quebec, but dutch-speaking

good fillum that
should get around to rewatching it

catberg on one of his signature mad ones

wyddd

???

what are you doing -> what you doing -> wyd -> wyddd

what you doing doing doing

what is the name of this 'bergenstein

what you doing doing doing

Anon Babble advertisements really are becoming turbo-retarded
Just scams, crypto bullshit, and AI slop. That's literally the only people who will pay to advertise on this god-forsaken website

boobs

impossible to get it completely clean, and aside from which unless your partner has been fasting for a while, new poo will start to accumulate pretty quickly, and even if they were fasting it still might

pretty sure that image is ai generated
it's definitely a scam, possibly involving crypto
so it might be a hat trick

bloody hell, i actually believe you as well
gen z should've been the last generation

The trandemic

chaz, he's about 15 years old and fat but still as spry as ever

meant gen x not gen z lol

Trans gf prepping an enema as we speak
Gonna give her a big creampie tonight just to spite rorkes like you

pretty sure that image is ai generated

it's definitely a scam, possibly involving crypto

Oh yes, most definitely.
AI + Crypto are the two most solid identifiers of scams in the modern internet.
Anybody who is legitimate or trustworthy simply does not deal in either of those things.

there are more trannies than biological women in the world now

mad

That's just factually untrue.

tell him i said YWNBAW

trans queens stay winning

rorke

i.4cdn.org/wsg/1732667929250237.mp4

brit says trans rights

Yup.

youtube.com/watch?v=JBRMUWs8ij4

had too many opioidsteins and now brainberg is putting me through hallucinationtoil

Nun you can do x

British comedy

Ill tell her there are seething rightoids upset that shes happy and comfortable in her skin
She will laugh at your ignorance and i will laugh with her
Then i will give her a big creampie

France smells like the inside of one of these 7 Days croissant packages. It's not the croissant smell, I've had other croissants and they didn't smell like France. But for some reason, I smelled inside one of these and suddenly I was back in France. Wish I was back there now. On a school trip, middle of the night. Me and the driver are the only ones on the coach still awake. Just looking out the window at the dark motorway flying past. Life was so simple then.

i want that twink Obliterated

A police officer who Tasered a 95-year-old woman with dementia symptoms at an Australian care home has been found guilty of her manslaughter.

Kristian White, 34, used his weapon on Clare Nowland after the great-grandmother was found wandering with a small kitchen knife in the early hours of 17 May 2023.

Her death a week later caused public outcry, but White - a senior constable - argued at trial that his use of force was a reasonable and proportionate response to the threat.

Prosecutors, however, alleged Mrs Nowland - who relied on a walker to get around and weighed under 48kg (105lb) - was not a danger and that the "impatient" officer had neglected his duty of care to her.

At one point that night she had entered the room of another resident and had later thrown one of the blades at a staff member.

When emergency services found Mrs Nowland, they repeatedly asked her to drop the knife in her right hand, and – using thick gloves – had tried to disarm her themselves, the court was told.

In the moments before she was hit by the Taser, footage played to the jury showed the elderly woman using her walker to slowly shuffle forward - 1m (3.3ft) over the course of a minute - before stopping and raising the blade.

White warned Mrs Nowland his weapon was aimed at her, before saying "bugger it" and firing it, while she was still 1.5m-2m away. She fell and hit her head, triggering a fatal brain bleed.

I'm sorry fellas but this is downright bull. All my stinking neighbors took their recycling out like tomorrow's recycling day, when it says quite clearly on the calendar that the 27th, that is of November 2024, is NOT a recycling day, it is just a regular vanilla garbage day. But do I take mine out to fit in? Or do I take a stand and risk losing it all. That is the question.

why

really enjoy the jewish surname suffix gimmick, bit of cheeky antisemitism never hurt anyone x

does that actually happn? i thought it was an artistic liberty like when you have an opium den in some movie and thyere all hallucinating
whats it like?

White warned Mrs Nowland his weapon was aimed at her, before saying "bugger it" and firing it, while she was still 1.5m-2m away. She fell and hit her head, triggering a fatal brain bleed.

miss being 12

remember when I was a kid tv always portrayed smoking weed as this mad hallucinatory experience
then I tried it and it just makes me a hungry retard

nonce

actually i pity you and moreso him, the internet has fucked up your life (and potentially his beyond repair), one day he may come to his senses and join the 41%, and this would be a kinder fate than what awaits him if he endures

dementia

he put her out of her misery, sorry to say

When i smoked weed i saw a unicorn who told me to skateboard down a big hill

horrific headlines paired with bradley will never not be funny

the first few times i smoked weed it was a psychedelic experience, everything became fractals and i was having full closed eye visions

they're actually kind of similar to the effects you get on a big dose of weed (especially the sounds) except you feel more in control and aren't bumbling around like a spastic like you would be on weed
if you're in bed on your laptop (like moi) you will be nodding in and out of consciousness for a few seconds or minutes at a time

it's the shittest gimmick
bradley in general is a shit gimmick

Whatever you say rorke
Whatever you say

You seemed to have added an extraneous "not" in your sentence.

My dream passport combination would be

US

EU

UK

Canader

Japan

and why not throw in New Zealand in for good measure?

FOY

THANK YOU
its absolute shite

and… up goes the carrot

The Bradley gimmick in general is great when used properly. The Dark Bradley gimmick however is complete shit and extremely unfunny, probably one of the worst gimmicks this general has ever produced.

lots of truth nukes here
sinister bradley is a spiritually evil gimmick imagine the sort of runts that post it

Up your arris?

Johnny foreigner doesn't know this but a British passport can actually be used to slap the faces of customs officials of any country and it's perfectly legal. Just one of many hidden perks of being British.

it was ok at first but at this point he's beating the fossilised remains of an ancient proto-horse, just pure autism

Back from swimming lads

shocked bradley > banter bradley > POWER GAP > sinister bradley

No you're not, you're still there. I can see the water

got the thinking cap on

Ham n cheese toastie for brekky x

overdosing on browser tabs here
need to get some of these youtube videos watched so i can finally close them

should i go watch the original terminator at the cinema, ive never seen it

night shift toil is almost over

Yeah I enjoyed it.

Why do people buy houses on floodplains or next to rivers? This country floods every single year, everyone knows this, but they come on the news complaining like it's someone else's fault they have a soggy carpet.

deck my bollocks with boughs of spunk

listening to david bowie's "i'm afraid of americans" to give myself the confidence boost i need to post on /brit/

A phenomenal song. Trent x Bowie was simply an unstoppable combination. Two musical geniuses together

i've just had this calypso
it is
F U C K I N G
M I N G I N G

bit strange this

autist got called out for his shit gimmick and is now having a melty

paradise punch lemonade

This is a good one

Mihai used to like those god bless his beautiful soul

what's a calypso? (before you ask, yes google is broken, all i'm getting some shit about about greek mythology)

loool

In work yesterday I saw an email saying that one of my colleagues has died, and that she was in the third trimester of pregnancy, and so the baby also died

Get the refugees housed... in YOUR house!!

vocaroo.com/17Tvvzp2zrwO

ice lollery

ice lollerycallirpso

toddler ejected

:(

that's a calippo you fucking delusional retarded cocksucking yank cunt
hahhaa jk x
but seriously

Hello

jarritos are peng but idk where to get them

I'm pretty sure I saw a pregnant woman in the office at some point so I'm not sure if it was her

Get her farts sniffed.

might go all in on my artistic endeavours and try making it a job becuase ill kill myself if i have to do any more computer programming

why havent you kys yet?

no they're not they're like 80% sugar they taste like shit

Why haven't you?

guy walks in

think 'this cunt looks Irish af'

look at his name tag

it says 'Mr Shannon'

theyre so easy to recognise

Sir XL Bully

it was only after my 12 hour gooning session did i realise the horror that i had left my curtains undrawn and the neighbour's window was in plain view

One of the burrito places has them

The government could get away with absolutely anything if they just had the media say that opposing it is right wing. "Here's Why The Far Right Is Now Protesting The Puppy Genocide." Millions would be demanding puppy genocide. They'd start talking about kitten genocide because the puppy genocide isn't going far enough. They'd cave their own dogs skull in with a spade if they were told the far right said they shouldn't.

ye they are kind of egregiously priced though

If you have ever done anything which could be described as "gooning", then you should be killed. As brutally and savagely as possible. Blood and guts spewing all over the place. I mean that, 100%. And I'll make it happen.

“The next train on this platform will be the district line train to…Upminster. Calling at…all stations to Upminster…(sinister whispering) do it. Just do it.”

reading one of them websites where yank prisoners put up an ad to start a letter correspondence with people, looking for felonious qts to send letters upon which i'd rubbed my dick and balls all over it before sending it

just ordered 8kg of protein powder

lots of white professional illustrators, especially in california, have a strange kind of fetish for drawing latinx and black children

Bit over the top
Nothing wrong with self pleasure

yeah?

you're right i should, i submit to your superior judgment, o humourless, edgy, and probably underage twat

yeah

how much are those each

2kg

cheeky

was just saying this down the pub

printing out /brit/ posts to read at my local beer ha- er, pub

on a great day you can get them for $50
today, $60
normally like $100

every time i go to bunnings they think im up to no good, i dont evne look like a crackhead

Bought a pair of 5inch heeled leather boots with GORGEOUS silver buckles and open toes

*glares at you*

getting raped

i'm sure it's not that bad

brit is so good at these hours

well as long as you're sure

it's like a completely different general to the schizo mess that is weekend /brit/

just replied to myself when i meant to reply to someone else, i will never live this down

poo

there are people who actually watch an entire streamer's stream instead of just clips

chat is that true

mods can we ban this guy

I watch girl streamers only
Mostly asmr streams

There are 9000 species of sponge in this world.
Name one.

*starts sparking cunts the fuck out*

cat has just done a horrifically stinky shit in his litterbox
unbelievable

Wrong.

*hides in the corner under a table*

Dinner is served

get it sniffed rorke

Enjoy your schizophrenia.

cats do gigantic shits given their size

saw what seemed like a lump on the left side of my belly and thought it might be a tumour, upon closer inspection it seems to be just my ribcage, still should probably have it looked at though because i'm feeling a bit tender in that area too

For my turn I cast Expectcus Virginicus! SCHWING

sounds like you're suffering from nothingbettertodo-itis

thanks for the information

shag corr spaff

this is serious lads, i was a heavy drinker and druggo for a few years and even though i'm clean now i can't escape the feeling that my comeuppance is just around the corner

might go up the virtual pub

every week i say no more booze
then every week i drink a bottle of wine on a tuesday night
im fucking SICK of this shite

my come was uppance your mums fanny

going to a doctor is more trouble than it's worth

for christ's sake

me whenever rorke talks

scrombginh

scrooming

definitely i'd rather piss away my chances of early detection stay home and possibly die of cancer than go see a doctor

sroobing

I don't mean to overexcite you
but UNUSUAL MEMES COMPILATION V296 just dropped

Fucking sick of rorkes bullshit

Applied for over 150 jobs, jobs I'm qualified for, jobs I'm overqualified for, even have a separate CV without any education for minimum wage jobs. Gotten maybe 10 interviews, rejected from all. Completely losing hope. Forced to live with my parents. Exhausted. Just want to know I'm not the only one.

oh my goddddddd
*does a gay porn fortnite trans poo peng gay porn dance*

please lad no i've already got way too many tabs open

cheers to that!

anyone else watch Joker 2?

goodness no

Obviously youre doing something wrong then

you’ll get there mate, been in your shoes before

are the torrents out yet? if so i'll give it a crack out of morbid curiosity

We watched a camrip version of it on the /brit/ discord for movie night a month or so ago was a good laugh with the lads

aye

the man proves that his feelings are more important that mummy's feelings by holding his fist up above her or putting his arm around her neck and jerking it (imitating snapping someone's neck) or putting his hands around her neck and squeezing
this is to show what he could do if he chose to and provide it as evidence that mummy is not important rather he is important

Love staring into catberg's eyes when he's in the litter box.
He'd never take a shite whilst I'm looking at him despite desperately wanting to.
I have all the power.

Wonderful

*more important than

i ain't got no feet, and i ain't got no hands
i've got 100 cocks and on the end of each one is a glans

seems like he could just be thrown into the sea and everything would be fine

you're a monster, mate

stop prosecuting the mandem

leftypol insisting the white woman was asking for it based on what she was wearing

Excellent sleeping
Long may it continue

this is how they be describing buddha in hindu texts

stop mentally torturing catberg

Women love such bad guys. In a few years he’ll be released and will fuck and impregnate hundreds of white british girls. Even the one he raped will always fantasise about him in a sexual way

don't like it when a porno is in "media res"
give me some leadup, foreplay if you would

EXETER MENTIONED!!!!!

Waiting patiently for 3am

was recommended that book many times but i'm not going to read it

had this cat once who would run to the litterbox every time I did a low whistle at a specific frequency
he'd run in there and turn around facing out like he was about to piss but as soon as I'd stop whistling he'd come back out
I could do this over and over again and he'd respond the same way every time
he'd go in and stand there in the piss posture staring at me while I whistled but he wouldn't actually piss
then he'd come out and I'd whistle again and he'd run back in again
it was very bizarre

Thats rorke that does the she was asking for it wearing that bit
Though the rorke leftypol poles are starting to shift so maybe it is leftypol these days

there is no rorke and there is no leftypol

Probably close to the brown note or the yellow note in his case

அல்ஹம்துலில்லாஹ் விரைவில் அவரை கொதிக்க வைப்போம்

sexism is invisible to leftoids as long as the man is sufficiently melanated
I've unironically been told more than once by a white woman that Muhammad was a feminist

கொ

hitler amongus

*waves seductively*
ohhh rorkiepooh~

it's shit
just common sense "be a decent person" shit for mongs
literally it's for emotional/social retards who can not fathom what could ever be wrong with constantly lying to people or constantly talking shit about people or being a self centered piece of shit
genuinely just a book for dumb fucking assholes

is that baby chewbacca

in papua new guinea a tribe recently hired mercenaries to massacre and behead some village
my question is where are these mercenaries from, i cant find any info

its your worst nightmare MATE

why that spoon make keanu look like vinnie babarino

der neue

Not yet.

I have drunk wee.

Ree

I once called a guy from Brossard French, and he just went mental and said he wasn't French at all. Bizarre.