Editione Ausgabe
/Brit/
/Brit/
Devastatingly early new.
bit early, but you know what they say
*snacks on proverbial worm*
It's not a /brit/ if there's not an early new.
thanks to OP we're now on shaky ground, the janny could come in at any moment and annihilate us
If you live inside the circle, you are from London
this is how your mum's back doors feel while I'm in the en suite brushing off smegma with her decorative towels
i have just consumed my lunchtime victuals. its now digesting so my body can absorb its nutrients.
Kent is not London nor is Sussex.
this post is not gangsta
i've been to hastings and i've been to brighton
i've been to eastbourne too
Mad how there are no double-decker buses in the US
You MISSED out on key, character-defining moments in your life that you can never revisit.
such as what?
eating scented candles again
lovely scran
none here either, would like to give one a try x
I've been to Southampton but I've never been to Scunthorpe
they're just regular buses but taller
in holland I went on a double decker train now THAT was an experience worth writing home about
Hello
nigga always talmbout some hello
is it me you're looking for?
*wipes huge sweat bead from brow*
phew, live just outside of that circle
That M25 circular highway looks to be the proper bounds of London.
Why did you delete the link you stupid cunt
the most bizarre lyric ever put to paper
living slightly north of london so when people ask where im from i just say london
just a train but taller innit
Hello
?? They said it was early bro.
imagine the smell
if you hover over the link in this post, the "ve"s line up
*waggles my mouse back and forth*
haha ve go brrr
?
aye I'm from london mate
oh whereabouts?
brighton
love this whimsical little gimmick
I'm from chipping sodbury but nobody has ever heard of that so I just say I'm from los angeles
Toil in 2 hours. Can't really be arsed.
Scrboobign
they have double decker trains in sydney (or at least they did last time i was there), they're quite comfy, got little private semi-obscured seats that are each almost like a room of their own
Might as well be. No discernible difference in accent, culture, they're of the same people. Theres a reason why people call it London-on-Sea
got little semi-obscured privates right here
wish I was a male pornstar sometimes
Oh my days
Bluds never been on a double decker bus
The view is awesome
Any of you lads do bjj? Thinking of getting started but I don’t know if the gyms are going to be full of boring retarded normies and I’ll regret it
fucking shit
no I don't do blowjobjobs
saw one in sydney about 2 months ago
yeah i do bjj
blowjobjobs
*gently brushes the smegma off my bellend with your toothbrush*
Apparently all the rappers the hip-hop people were gay. Dr Dre was known as a raging bender for 30 years, all the NWA people were homos thats why one of them died of aids, too much bumming you see
we've got a tour bus imported from london
Receding hairlines are kino. I wish I had one.
got my shirt off at the moment anyone else got their shirt off
there is no problem that stuffing a big fat rock hard BBC into your arse hole cannot solve
no, the thought of being touched gives me a panic attack
was planning to have a cheeky midday shower then come to /brit/ and post about being in the nud but couldn't be arsed in the end, you see
i think it's because a lot of the people who catch public transport here are total bogans who have lost their licence for drink driving or speeding and so forth, so the bus driver needs to be able to keep a close eye on them to make sure they don't cause a ruckus
were*
going on holiday tomorrow so this evening may make some posts that are bannable offences
Hair has been getting really unkempt and look homeless, wanted to buzz it but now i feel like i can’t because of all the ”muh winter arc” that zoomers are on
I would look like one of those tryhard incel freaks
Koreans have had their 5 minutes in the spotlight
Have they? I cant think of any Koreans except Kim Jong Un who is pretty cool but probably not a pop culture icon.
if you do light exercise most days like a few sets up pushups and pullups will you start looking decent or will you never put on visible musculature
watched this flick recently
person in front of me in the cinema was crying
It annoys me when non-white women seek to steal white genes in order to improve their offsprings' genes to the detriment of the white guy.
It's very selfish and calculating. Let Timmy have his white kids with a white woman you psychotic selfish brownoid.
you can have mine if you want
You probably look like viking
will do fuck all
rorke holding space for queer disabled trans women of colour
niggas wit autism
Anyone /godsquad/ in?
all the norms love k-pop and squid game and theres been an uptick in literature and other shit from there. That 4B movement thing after trump won originated in Korea
Father of missing Hawaii woman found dead in apparent suicide in Los Angeles, LAPD says
because it was so bad?
solo poly amputee hijabi trans womyn of colour
Smithfield Market set to close after almost 800 years
City of London have ditched plans to relocate it to Dagenham.
They want to use the old site for “mixed use cultural development”
rock
spamming/flooding
Imagine if a black man randomly broke into my house and started violently ape raping me with his massive BBC
which British county is Los Angeles in again?
This post would make a victorian child evaporate on the spot if they happened to gaze upon it
Truly heinous
You got trolled
it was very good :)
Berkshire
Smithfield Market has been "closing" for 10 years now. Just fucking close already
sounds mexican so probably gibraltar or maybe malta
I'm thinking about tonight's gravy
two for tuesdays tonight though lad
bbc breeding facility
Serves 3-4
its two for tuesdays you utter fucking berk
gravy's good tonight
Middlesex
your mum does twofer tuesdays
what is this shiyt
I'm a normoid and i've never heard any k-pop. I heard of squid game but never got round to watching and the hype disappeared fast. Couldnt name any Korean literature or other pop culture. That 4B thing was a nowt butty reddit hoax.
need a poo so will have that midday shower after all
I like to spray like a hippo in captivity, you see
overdosing on browser tabs over here
g'day scraniel
the only two I do on tuesdays is my niece
'richard' and 'anus' have the same etymology
You get a pash for that
kill jester
before I begin posting there's the small matter of my fee...?
/brit/ is better when the normies are at toil
did you ever see that korean webcomic where the spooky woman swivels her head around with a cracking noise and the browser grabs your scroll bar so you can't scroll up or down?
facts
no
they all still post here during toil you idiot
the dumping of the poo into the river
no we dont
i've got the week off :)
you know you can get a decent 'za in the supermarket for like £3 yet
I don't, not allowed my phone at toil you see
but all the schizo neets come out to play don't they
she doesn't
scrombobulating
they're always here anyway
mate works at rockstar and they make him put his phone in a locker before entering the office
listening to coldplay and crying
i miss her so much lads
laptop doesn't turn on if it's cold so having to heat it up over the stove for a minute or two every time
*in my HGV*
baby gimme that toot toot and lemme give u that beep beep
Don't know why people order Dominos etc when Asda's custom pizzas exist
to curb distractions or to prevent leaks?
Autism has ruined my life
listening to coldplay and crying
Not sure which of these two things is gayer 2bh.
seriously mate, SERIOUSLY, your gimmick is SHIT and not in a notorious way in a fucking hell why is he bothering way
lost my virginity to a fat black fijian girl
leaks
especially after the big gta6 leak but that was a pajeet's fault
Why did she leave you lad
i wonder what that homeless prick is up to. he has blogged in a while.
a month into ~1000 cals a day dietberg and i'm reckoning tomorrow i will have a cheat day and order two big tasties and fuck it all off
not heard set fire to the third bar by snow patrol on the radio in a decade plus i reckon
:/
okay but its not a gimmick
different reasons lad but ultimately i deserved it and its all my fault and i hate myself
feeling... energized, yes.
Dumping MSG into my noodles
Just got my McDonald's order for eat in, I asked for a tray and the spotty mong worker told me "there's trays over there" and pointed to the bin where customers dirty used trays are placed
Why the fuck would I take one of those trays
is he confirmed to be a jeet? i assumed they were hiding his identity because he was a minor
genuinely have no clue what /brit/ is like past 5pm because that's when real life starts
/brit/ is the spiritual successor to those gen x flash games where you beat up your boss
crazy how british and american culture are so pervasive that non-american/non-british people will associate our nations as a secondary culture to their own
ran out of my crystal bar lads
can anyone hear that noise outside
Your own fault for going to McDolans
Trays d'ere
i mean the 1 hour of in dev footage which was leaked after an outsourced indian got social engineered
no that's just american
don't like it when the girl in porn swears a lot or says "please... please... please"
that's not porn it's sabrina carpenter
amazon delivering my new charger between 5pm and 7pm. not as early as i'd like but it is what it is. spent the last 5 or so hours watching waynes world 1 and 2 which i put on my phone before the laptop battery went earlier. films were great but on my phone was no way to experience them. could have gone downstairs to watch them but i don't like sitting down there. can't say i've enjoyed this last few days at all.
right yank filter is going back on
you couldn't bloody behave could you you horrible fat fuck
oh blgo go you boring bastard
live about 100 yards from a primary school
i will, until my laptop runs out again. thanks for the permish.
gonna be a problem
she's filthy might as well be porn
What is on the goon tonight lads?
why did you buy a Lenovo Yoga bro?
i don't watch interracial (unless you count the odd bit of latina)
really struggling dee lads
Getting ready for my 3pm walk
zhabrina kharbinda
honestly the most boring post I've seen this year
getting sick of this gimmick
women in porn are allowed to make the following noises
moans
groans
'oh yeah'
'fuck'
anything else not allowed unless they are eastern european and say things like 'I vant in may azzhole' in that sexy husky drawl of theirs
all american women in porn need to shut the fuck up
it's a dell xps 15
had a lenovo yoga 14 incher back in 2016 for a few years tho
thought i'd use it in tablet mode all the time but didn't
please please please do the needful
that's that me massala chai
eating my morning oatmeal
welcome back mater
mikey's a farmer now
it's not a problem at all
Japanese nurses with enormous breasts
i find the expression "do me" to be a lot sexier than "fuck me"
well, it'll be over soon. 3-5 hours and laptopberg will only last for 2 and a bit of those. then it'll be a relic of /brit/s gone by.
thanks :) it's good to be back.
starmer made him do this
For me it simply has to be Sperm Mania 433: Mary Popiense and Haruka Suzuno cum swapping to be perfectly honest with you
Just a bit of banter innit?
Stocks doing rather well this year boys. Remember, never invest in the UK.
male nurses. thoughts?
can't say i know if this is a good parody or not as i have never heard a song of hers but i still enjoyed your post nonetheless
1 in 200 Japanese women have appeared in AVs
Literally me
Shappi Khorsandi gf please
why was this deleted
for context, the lyrics referenced are "please please please" and "that's that me, espresso"
don't forget to like and subscribe
wish jewtube would allow you the option to not have inappropriate content warnings, patronising wankers, i think i can handle it if someone says the word "kill" rather than "unalive"
Costa living doesn't exist
You don't need Netflix. You don't need Deliveroo
lmao there are investment tools that include all first world countries except the UK?
sean connery voice:
shucking a black cawkkkk
Fancy some nesquik myself
hopefully she will follow in the footsteps of maitland ward
Me lunch
fuck are those lanky doritos
vile fat bastard
lel yeah. I saw this video on the news and all of those windows got smashed in. It's funny 2bf
i like the wet sounds in porn, i dont really go in for the moaning and groaning
You're going to eat all that?
are you seriously eating crab sticks straight out of the package
no one orders one pizza unless they've got a half off promo going
did it when i was staying in an 'otel in october cos i had 50% off uber eats
receipt didn't mention the discount tho so i reckon the staff at the doms were thinking i was an absolute madman
couldn't even wait to get stuck into those meatballs
probably had them in the queue and scanned the packet, dirty cunt
A classic.
A bit too much lesbo for my taste, need to see some penetration.
cant even imagine what kind of slop gets an E on the nutri-score
whats the difference between a stocks and shares isa and an index fund?
say I had £25k in a cash ISA and wanted to transfer it to one of these products which one would you recommend?
swedish style meatballs
german
Hm.
A bit too much lesbo for my taste, need to see some penetration.
those poundland chicken bites are pengville
fat fuck
here’s mine
yank's eating the fucking globe
Rorke whipping out his Google Pixel and taking a picture of the goyslop he bought from Home Bargains with his Universal Credit dole money
i like chicken tikka sarns that have the creamy sauce similar to coronation chicken but can't stomach a corrie chicken myself. just a bit fruity and weird tasting for me.
swedish meatballs are a banger.
never seen those doritos before
seafood sticks? what's that all about then?
noice chocky
shit drink as i don't like coke zero. for me? it's lilt (fanta pineapple and grapefruit)
lol
Leftypol on the univeral credit sole benefits money
just a bit fruity and weird
hits too close to home?
If it were me, I'd get it the fuck out of the cash ISA, transfer to stocks and shares. I hold developed world ex-UK, but an all-world is worth considering.
Tranny's ultra-processed munch
ISA is the wrapper, index funds are products within
you can get a stocks and shares ISA which contains one or more index funds to track different markets/sectors
love wanking
imagine a life without wanking
haha!
Lipton Tea
whole mug with a tiny teabag meant for a teacup
black
probably warmed in the microwave
Fucking hell Yanks are clueless lmfao
scrom
US embassy evacuated over the weekend
drones spotted flying over US airbases in the UK
mysterious stabbings being rebranded as heart attacks
Wtf is going on
sperm mania
totally normal and organic posts about Pizza Hut, Dominos and McDonalds on here in the past hour. nooticed.
no lunch for me, lads, as i'm on dietberg. one meal a day most days and especially today - as i'm going to cheat and engorge on maccas tomorrow.
Same answer as always, nothing is happening
Nothing ever happens.
What actually happened to that bloke that lost his head in Edinburgh?
US embassy evacuated over the weekend
drones spotted flying over US airbases in the UK
mysterious stabbings being rebranded as heart attacks
Wtf is going on
was in a group photo at toil today
The world is a big place and with lots of people in it, its not connected
trail mix
Just like your pioneer forebears ate
they stuck a cone on it
putting £300 into S&P and £300 into global all cap (yes there's overlap idc)
got another £700/month to play with
suggestions?
The Brits are on about the proper way to drink tea again.
last christmas,
i done a big fart
ah yes, the post calling Dominos extortionate must be a paid ad
BIG. DAFT. CUNT.
Crack the camera?
It's literally Truman Show product placement and I'm fucking sick of it/
Yeah, get a personality you boring bastard
get the onlyfans trannies subscribed to
Put the other £700 in the same place.
something higher risk
Tesla
Lmao what's lil nigel gon do
*jiggles your belly*
How about i just fucking kill myself
And the very next day
You gave it to a gay
just resubscribed to another year of LS Magazine
Getting ready for my 3pm wank
this nigga think he the main character :skull.
I hate Dwayne Johnson so much, can't wait until he's exposed a bender
you are a tard if you use one teabag for a full size cup like that lets be honest
tea is shit anyway
sucking a gherkin
youtube.com
Aussies what does 'ya ed' mean?
mikey's got a job as a cleaner now
I am.
youtube.com
what the fuck he's literally me
give the recent letterboxd films a rate
Wasn’t me who posted it. Wouldn’t be caught drinking tea. I’m a coffee man though and through.
Wouldnt watch any of those if someone paid me. Unless it was a lot of money. Or not even a lot but significantly more than I earn toiling. Like someone would have to pay me £15 an hour and not a penny less to watch any of those movies.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to try to hold the door in this situation
mikey is the Mr. Bean of /brit/!
it's giving pretentious Anon Babble teenie bop
pseud nonsense
getting ready for the half 2 wank
time to be a useless piece of shit and play stalker all afternoon
i’m a 25 year old man ;~;
Only seen Paris, Texas, Layer Cake and Sexy Beast
gl;hf as they say
Seen 4 of these 2 were good. Wont say which
Patrick, your perfect payment streak is doing wonders
We just wanted to celebrate the fact that you’ve never missed a payment on your credit card(s) while you’ve been with Credit Karma.
That’s amazing — it’s one of the most important ways to support your score.
I’ve been a good goy lads :3
Stomach is at war because of a single bottle of Madri last night.
tf is space amoeba
dats all well and good but the cronem are still active
rate me latest torrents lads
I'm pro israel
thanks lad
*loads AK*
I will
nice shoes
i would watch venom if someone showed it to me, looks like dumb fun but i wouldnt go out of my way to see it ygm
what did old mate ever do to you? is it because he's black?
Evening
cheeky bastard
old japanese monster b movie. i really liked it even if it was a quite a bit too long and predictable
circled the films I've seen
There's no thrill like a good kill.
off to the cinema to watch space amoeba lads
then whyd you rate it so low
love tampopo so much
michael owen was right about films
simply not worth the time
he's a candy-ass roody-poo
Not seen a single one of these
shat on pitch
Michael Owen was injured for 99% of his career and scored only one good goal for England
That was Gary Lineker mongo
Get it made!
the crisp salesman? don't be daft
more goals than you
peasant